Sonic Insanity

Before we begin, a short montage of quotes regarding this fanfiction.

"That was fcking hilarious." –Cheesemonger.

"That was hilarious!" –kj

"Eh, this chapter seemed short." –Tweedle Dumbass

"You never cease to make me laugh." –seastone130

"plz continue" –The anonymus elmo

"I'll have you know that this story sucks… it's because this story is good and it doesn't suck, clearly proving my theory." –uhyeahitsteamdark

"This chapter made me laugh so hard…" –Carnage Canine

"Good job! Awesomeness!" –Justin Time

And that was just the first page, out of sixteen, and it wasn't even all the reviews! And out of 229 reviews and counting, none have been bad!

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The Egg Penguin opened fire. A hail of missiles burst from its beak, all coming directly toward our heroes… and Tails. It sure did not look good, that was for sure. If only they could be saved by some kind of author-like presence… oh wait.

Fortunately, Knuckles jumped in front of them, deflecting all the missiles with his incredibly masculine chest. Sonic was torn between envy of Knuckles' abs, admiration that he had just saved them, and fury at the sheer physics of such a thing. Then Knuckles' muscles somehow began to shift robotically, revealing large guns.

"… Wow. That is really the worst pun ever," Shadow pointed out.

Knuckles' "guns" blasted Eggman away, leaving him somewhere in the Sahara Desert. As the dust cleared, there was a short silence.

"That's pretty awkward, Knuckles," Shadow said.

"Yeah… might wanna work on that one a bit before you use it at a party," Sonic said comfortingly.

"Just smooth out the bad parts and all," Tails reassured him.

"I just SAVED you!" Knuckles snarled. "It's not some comedy act I'm using at a party!"

"Yeah, yeah, just use my advice and you'll do great," said Sonic, leaving the room.

"All you need is some fine-tuning," Tails called as he departed.

"Keep it up and you might be twice as funny as Will Ferrell!" said Shadow, ensuring that Will Ferrell-lovers everywhere would flame the author. "And then it's not far until you're a billionth as funny as Mecha Scorpion!" Shadow left.

Knuckles, his teeth grinding with fury, sat down and listened to the radio. "Ooh! I love the song on the basis that it's rap and it's on the radio!" said Knuckles. "I have to download it on my iPod!" Once his every-freaking-kid-in-my-school-with-an-iPod impersonation was finished, Knuckles listened to the song. It was "Shake That" by Eminem. As he relaxed and enjoyed the "song," he began to notice something wrong. Tails was standing there, making obnoxious rap beat noises with his mouth.

"PPPPPPPP, ptttttz-kkkkk, ptz-k! PPPPPPPPPP, pttttz-kkkkk, ptz-k!" Tails, seeing Knuckles' fists clench, quickly ran away. Knuckles returned his attention to the song. Nate Dogg began to sing.

"Some girls act retarded! Some girls are bout it bout it! I'm looking for a girl that'll do whatever the BEEP I say every day she be giving it up…"

Meanwhile, Sonic, upstairs, was preparing to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. As he turned on the sound system, the resulting noise was so loud that Knuckles couldn't hear the radio. When Knuckles turned it back on, he heard another song. Sighing, he listened to it, loving every second of it. Later, he wouldn't be able to tell you what song it was, but he was drinking.

Sonic finally got his needlessly complex TV system worked out and began Harry Potter. "Hah! Finally, I've remembered!" he cackled. "I'm writing a tally for this movie! Let's see… number of times a teenage sexual reference is made… number of times the actor playing Voldemort overacts… number of times the actor playing Mad-Eye Moody overacts… number of times over 100 pages in a row of the book were skipped to make the movie short enough for the ADD generation…" As he continued with his list, Sonic watched and watched and watched. Unfortunately, since he was watching it on TV, he forgot about the cursed censors.

"Number of times it was clear that the actress playing Hermione had PMS… number of times it was clear that the actor playing Ron had PMS... number of times one character talked about getting someone's 'wand in a knot…' number of…" Sonic looked up. "Wait… I thought there was a scene here! They skipped a scene!" Sonic frantically tried to think of why such a thing had happened. "Oh yeah, Harry says 'damn' in that scene…. Well, that's no reason to censor a movie! I'm tired of these censors!"

Knuckles, downstairs, was listening to the radio still. It had been less than an hour, and Shake That came back on again.

"I think there should a be a once-a-day limit," he growled, mortally afraid of his own growing intolerance of the song, but he listened.

"Some girls are BEEEEP! Some girls are bout it bout it!" crooned Nate Dogg. Knuckles punched the radio, destroying it completely.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" he screamed. "The censor for 'retarded' has been CHANGED, for the same song, over less than an hour! And it'll probably just change back again! I'm tired of censorship's arbitrary rules!" Knuckles suited up into his Censor-Fighting Man costume, which meant he put on a tiara and a pinstriped suit. Tails and Shadow jumped down the stairs.

"We'll help!" they chorused.

"Why?"

"Um… cause we like to tag along," said Tails.

"Because I'm a solo loner, which means I should become part of a group," Shadow declared.

"Well, I hate censorship too," Sonic said, dashing down the stairs, "so I'll help you."

"Well, one thing's for sure," said Knuckles. "They'll never censor US!"

"Yeah," Sonic announced. "Despite their hardest efforts, they'll never restrain what WE do… gosh darnit!"

Everyone stared.

"Gee whiz!" said Sonic mournfully. "Looks like I'm stuck not swearing for the rest of my life!" Although his face looked furious and he was clearly screaming at the top of his lungs, his voice was calm and quiet… it also didn't completely match the way his lips moved. But that might have just been Sega's poor translation.

"Aw, man!" Shadow whined.

"Oh, heck!" Knuckles wailed.

"Dad gum!" Tails declared.

So, after a furious black mail session with the author that involved hostages, an ice skating contest, and a menacing can of spam, the heroes regained their ability to curse. (I will censor it, because I try not to swear in my fics, but you'll recognize the difference.)

"#, this feels good!" Sonic rejoiced.

"Oh, #!$ yeah!" Knuckles whooped.

"!$# #!$ !$# mother#!#!" Shadow laughed.

"Oh, geez, heck, darn!" Tails said.

Everyone looked at him. It appeared that Tails actually swore like that.

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