Comic Relief: Doctor and Companion Style
"Doctor", Amy groaned from her position on the Captain's chair, her voice slightly skewed by the fact she was propping her head up with her hands, "I'm bored".
The Doctor popped his head up from the belly of the TARDIS, wrapped in various multicoloured cables and covered in various colours of oil. His sonic screwdriver was in his mouth, kept in place by his teeth. Amy could tell what he was saying through the various non-understandable noises he was making just by looking at his eyebrows.
"Meh, num nuhm", he mumbled.
"It was fascinating, but the Library of the Links was not for me", she looked down at him.
"Nor me", Rory admitted from the depths of the book he was reading next to her, "Even though this book is really fascinating".
The Doctor jumped up from the TARDIS innards, pushing off the cables from around his shoulder as he did. He removed the sonic from his mouth and brushed some oil from his brow and looked at the two human's sitting before him. "Well, you suggest somewhere, and that is where we will go", he told them.
Amy looked to Rory, and Rory looked to Amy. The Doctor hated when humans communicated non-verbally. It was infuriating because he couldn't invade their thoughts as that was rude but if he didn't, he didn't know what was going o until they told him. "Doctor", Rory started as they both looked back to him.
"What Ponds?" he smiled back at them.
"Have you ever sat through a whole stint of Comic Relief?" Amy smiled as she tilted her head like a puppy.
"Your idea of fun is sitting in front of a television for seven hours?" the Doctor raised an eyebrow, and Amy and Rory nodded back enthusiastically, "You humans need to get your priorities sorted".
The TARDIS landed with a bump, supposedly in the Pond's front room, 2011. Amy rushed out from the inner door to the TARDIS carrying red noses, deely boppers and three Red Nose Day designer shirts. Sneaking up behind the Doctor, she pulled one over his head and placed a set of deely boppers on his head before he could argue. She threw a shirt at Rory before pulling her own over her head.
"C'mon Rory, let's go and have some boring old fun watching Comic Relief", she said to him, extending her hand at her husband, whilst the Doctor leant up against the console with his arms crossed.
"Yes", he agreed, "Let's".
The Ponds skipped down the ramp to the TARDIS doors and pushed them open with absolute glee. The Doctor let a small groan as he started to follow them. "Doctor", Amy called back in.
"Oh, what now!" the Doctor stopped and threw his arms up in the air; he just couldn't do anything right today.
"Where did you say you were taking us?" Rory shouted back in.
"Your front room, where else on Earth would be so fun as your front room?" he told the nurse back sarcastically.
"Unless our front room is the location of a mass fundraising event, you got the flight path a bit wrong", Rory told him, and the Doctor let out a sigh.
"And they all have blue boxes too!" Amy added, and this made the Doctor stand to attention.
"What!" he couldn't believe this.
"Hey, everyone is waving at us!" Amy giggled, "C'mon Rory, wave back!"
The Doctor ran forward and straight out of the TARDIS into an almighty room. At one end sat a stage covered in red and white, and at his end, where eleven TARDIS's, all of them his from some point or another. All around the room, various people hurried about dressed in ridiculous costumes, most of which the Doctor recognised from the wardrobe in the TARDIS, taking photos and talking to each other, and others where dressed in military uniforms. The Doctor looked to the door in the far corner and sighed as he realised they were in some form of UNIT headquarters. Then he stood to attention again as he realised that this wasn't possible. He looked around and saw every previous incarnation of himself, and one in particular was walking straight for him.
"Ah, there you are my boy", his original incarnation smiled as he walked with an air of authority towards him; "You finally decided to show up".
"Hi, I'm Amy", Amy jumped forward and shook the elderly man's hand, "You are?"
"Me", the Doctor replied from beside her.
"What?" Rory laughed.
"I am him, and he is me", the gentleman replied, "We are Time Lords my dears, with the ability to regenerate. I am the original, whereas he is the... what regeneration are you the product of?"
"Tenth", the Doctor replied, "Body numero eleven".
"Dear me boy, couldn't you have gone with something a bit more mature", he predecessor examined him; "You look no older than Susan".
"How is this all possible?" Eleven asked as he gestured to the whole room.
"It was my idea", One replied, "Felt a bit bored, so I pulled out us and all our companions out of suitable places in their time-streams and brought them here, but Ten's seemed to all have managed to find their own ways here. Strange lot. Anyway, we will all forget this ever happened afterwards".
"And what are we all doing here?" Rory wondered, "Rory Pond by the way".
"Well Pond", One straightened himself up, "We are here for Comic Relief!"
"And where would here be exactly?" Amy asked.
"Some base owned by a group by UNIT", One looked around, "They are the military figures you can see. Three suggested we held it here. Do you know of them?"
"Oh yes", Eleven smiled as he recognised young faces from the past that were now long gone, and new faces from his last encounter with the group, "Very well".
"Suits me", One concluded, "I seem to know about them, all bar me".
"This talking about yourselves is starting to confuse me", Amy laughed as One started to lead them.
"Oh, you'll get used to it", Eleven smiled down at her.
They first came across a short little fellow, with a Beetles like hair cut, practising various practical jokes and magic tricks on a group of people surrounding him. They all laughed at the success he had every time, and patted him on the back. Amy and Rory watched as he pulled a red nose out from behind one of his accomplices' ear. "Two is up first and is performing a Magic Act", One informed them, and added as they started to walk on; "His companions have started the trend that each incarnations companions supports that incarnation".
They moved onto another man, this time a taller man covered from head to toe in ruffles. He had a smaller group of what seemed to be civilians, but he looked like he had more military personnel surrounding him than any of the other Doctors. The four of them watched as he raised a hand, and then landed it flat onto a block of concrete, breaking it straight in two. Amy clapped, and the man bowed. "Three, as you can see, is showing off his Venusian Aikido", One explained.
But the next person they came across was not a man, and they didn't have anyone around them. They just seemed to be looking at the two acts either side of them, smiling as they both finished their tricks. The woman was rather short, and was holding a pen and paper in her hands. "How are you doing Miss Smith?" One asked her.
"Meh", she responded with a shrug, before seeing the Doctor, Amy and Rory, "Another one?"
"Nice to see you too Sarah Jane", Eleven smiled at her.
"Yes it is, isn't it", she smiled at him, "Hey, if you see older me, tell her I need help with names".
"You've met your older self?" Eleven raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, the one over by Ten, unless there is another", Sarah Jane replied, "This recording events thing was all her idea".
"Okay, good luck Miss Smith", One told her as he pushed his company onwards.
"Why isn't she with any Doctors?" Rory wondered.
"Sarah Jane was present at a regeneration and spent a good time with each regeneration", Eleven started to explain.
"So she is conflicted with whom to be with", One continued, "Plus her older self was one of Ten's companions to find their own way here, so she will remember everything along with her comrades. Don't see why she wants to record everything".
"She's a journalist", Eleven answered as they stopped in front of the next Doctor.
"That explains a lot", One nodded as they looked at the next Doctor.
This one was even taller than the last, and he had various companions wrapping a seemingly ever increasing in length scarf around his entire body from head to toe. One didn't even wait for the companions to finish before explaining what was happening here. "Four is holding a competition to see how many times his scarf can be wrapped around his body", One explained, "The companion that wins, gets a bag of jelly babies".
"I would have personally gone for Jammy Dodgers, but there we go", Eleven shrugged as they moved onto the next.
But before One could say or do anything, his three followers were high jacked by a flurry of white wrapping his arms around their shoulders. "Hey chaps, you up for the cricket game later?" Five asked enthusiastically.
"I'm better at football actually", Eleven replied as he pushed his fifth incarnation off.
"Oh c'mon", Five moaned, "It is Doctors/Companions Verses UNIT/Companions".
"That sounds fun", Amy smiled, "When is it?"
"After the variety show", One jumped in, "Come along, we have more acts and Doctors to see".
The next group was rather small compared to what they had seen before, but there was a low sort of hum coming from the group. Amy and Rory noticed the bright colours blinding their eyes, and looked at the Doctor who was avoiding eye contact. "Six is doing his own version of Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, after so many jokes were thrown at him when they landed", One told them as they continued past the group practising the song in low voices.
The following group was just as small. Sitting on a box in the centre of two women making chicken noises was a small man covered in question marks. His eyes were closed, and he seemed to be in deep concentration. "Seven is doing a hypnotism act", One whispered.
"Poor Ace", Eleven commented as they moved on.
Next was just a singular man, sitting at some sort of booth. He was dressed in very Victorian like outfit with his face plastered in lipstick kisses. One pulled a disgusted face at the man sitting at the table, whilst eleven smiled and gave him thumbs up. "Eight, is conducting a kissing booth", One said with a hint of disgust, "And then he will be seeing how many female or even male companions he can kiss in one minute as his act for the show".
"You have the right idea", Eleven called over to him, just as he finished kissing one of the UNIT female staff.
"Do I know you?" Eight shouted back over.
"Yeah", Eleven laughed as they walked onto the next group, and Eleven just felt his heart warm.
This group was by far one of the largest in the room, and the loudest. There were two men in the middle, yelling words that seemed unpronounceable to Amy and Rory, yet still seemed to be coming out of the men's mouths like it was as easy as pie. Around them were different people, all laughing and cheering on the two in the middle. "Nine and Ten are doing a joint act" One started, "At the moment; they are competing to see who can link words without repeating themselves. In the show, Nine will be reading of a paragraph or something, and Ten will then see how fast he can say it".
"Sounds about right", Eleven smiled.
"So now we come to you", One turned to face Eleven and his companions, "What are you doing?"
"Well, what are you doing?" Eleven threw the question back at him.
"I am hosting the event", One straightened up, "And my companions are judging the show".
"Oh, you have to more than that", Rory told him.
"Oh, and what do you suggest then young man, hmm?" One stepped forward.
"Recite everyone here name's", Amy suggested, "We have all introduced ourselves to you".
"That sounds possible", One considered it, "Yes I will do that, thank you young lady".
"Now then, what are we going to do Doctor?" Rory turned to the man in question.
"Um, see how many, err, fezzes I can, err um, get on my head", Eleven suggested.
"There we go", One smiled, as he looked over Eleven's shoulder to the back of the room, "Aha, Twelve is here".
"Good luck", Rory patted the old man on the shoulder.
"Luck has been on my side so far", One smiled at him, "Cheston, with me!"
"It is Chesterton!" a man shouted back from somewhere on the stage.
"Whatever, bring Miss Wright with you, I think I will need some help on this one", One shouted over to the stage.
The Doctor, Amy and Rory watched One disappear off to the newly materialised TARDIS. This was going to end badly, they all knew it. "So", Amy started, "Let's get practising".
"Yes, you all appearing may take a while", Rory laughed.
"Well, I do like to take my time", the Doctor smiled as he pulled a Fez out from nowhere and placed it upon his head.