Sorry for the massive delay guys. Issues with FF all week long. I couldn't upload a thing! Huge thanks to Southernlady23 for giving me the solution!
A major thanks to HollettLA for once again, dealing with my miserable comma skills.
Thanks for killer reviews last chapter, peoples. Everyone was just as hot, bothered, sweaty and turned on as I was. YAY!
How about some shameless sweetness this chappie?
I don't own, I just play.
Chapter 15, I'll be Home for Christmas
EPOV
"I know, Dad. I miss you, too."
I was doing my best not to eavesdrop, but since Bella was at the stove and I was at the kitchen table "reading" the morning newspaper, there wasn't much I could do about overhearing her conversation.
"He's good. We both are."
Bella told Sue about me the day after Thanksgiving. She was thrilled that Bella was happy and seeing someone, but furious that she hadn't told her about me sooner. Personally, at the time, I was just terrified by the prospect of her father finding out. He carried guns…
"I don't know, Dad. I know how long it's been; you don't have to keep on reminding me. You're getting to be as bad as Sue."
And so it was every time she called them. Sue was heartbroken that Bella hadn't come home yet. It was pushing eight years and I knew it was eating everyone up inside. Not only were her parents upset about it, but I could tell how miserably Bella missed them. It had been almost three years since she had seen them.
"He thinks it's time, too."
My first conversation with Charlie Swan right after Thanksgiving was... special. At first, he was the protective father. What were my intentions toward his daughter? Could I provide for her? Protective dad switched to fucking scary dad in the blink of an eye, though. If I ever so much as pulled a hair out of her head, he knew twenty-two ways to kill me. Turned out, not only was Charlie a detective with the Santa Fe Police Department, but he was an ex-Marine, too. Once he put the fear of God in me (and how!), he pulled a 180. He told me he hadn't heard Bella sound so alive and happy since before her Mother died. He wanted to meet me, shake my hand. He made me promise to figure out a way to get his little girl home and soon. How could I say no to that?
"Hi Sue. You got them already? That was quick. I didn't think you'd get my presents until a few days before Christmas."
It was two weeks before Christmas. I had struggled with what to get Bella. Jewelry seemed silly since she made her own. Bags? She had Rose for that. Clothes and shoes? Well, Alice had that pretty much wrapped up, too. Not that Bella needed fashion help, but Alice couldn't help herself when she saw something she knew Bella would look good in. There was one thing I knew she wanted, but would never admit it to herself or anyone else. It was a huge risk, though.
"Ya, he's here," Bella walked toward me and handed me the phone. "Sue wants to talk to you."
"Okay, thanks," I put the phone to my ear. "Hi, Sue."
"Edward, just say yes or no. Is she still there with you?"
"Yes."
"Shit. Okay, well is everything set?"
"Yes."
"And you'll be here the day after Christmas?"
"That's right."
"I hope she lets you get away with this."
"Me too, Sue."
"I just checked out the house. Of course, I don't have the keys, but I snooped around anyway."
"Okay, and?"
"Oh, it's stunning, Edward. It looks like a real home, not a rental or anything. I wish I had the keys though, I could stock the fridge for you."
"That's not necessary."
"Oh hush, yes it is! You're bringing our little girl home to us!"
"Yes," I said more calmly that I felt. For all we knew, Bella could refuse the trip.
"Oh, I know what I'll do! I'll go down the rental office and get the spare set from them. If they refuse, I'll just have Charlie intimidate them a little - he's good at that." Yes, he certainly was.
The rental company had sent me the house keys a few days ago. I didn't know how long Bella would want to stay, but I rented the house out for six months. I figured, if things went well, she could go down and visit whenever she wanted. She needed time to reconnect with her parents and her first home, and I was willing to be as involved or not as she wanted me to be.
"Okay, Sue, would you like to speak Bella again?"
"Sure would. See you soon, Edward!"
I could hear the sunshine in her voice. I envied her optimism.
I handed the phone back to an amused looking Bella. I tried hard not to look at her as I spoke with Sue, not wanting to give anything away. Bella said her goodbyes, then put the phone down.
"How is that you have this great relationship with my parents, who you haven't even met yet by the way, but don't even breathe a word about yours?"
"I'm not ashamed of you, if that's where you're going with this."
"What? Where did that come from?" Bella asked, with a laugh.
"You know, in books, TV shows, and movies when the guy doesn't introduce the girl to his parents, she automatically thinks it's because he's ashamed of her," I shrugged.
"A little credit, please, Edward. I'm not some skinny, babbling, insecure teenager."
"Good. And before you ask, no, it's not because I'm embarrassed by them, either. We just aren't close anymore, that's all. I really only speak with them once a year."
"Hmmm, one day, Edward Masen."
"Hmmm, one day what, Isabella Swan?" I teased.
"One day, when everything is out in the open, and I do mean everything, we'll be working on that once a year nonsense."
"You're one to talk," I mumbled under my breath, thinking of her self-induced exile. Of course, I was ashamed I had even thought it a second later.
"What was that?"
"Nothing. Breakfast ready?" I asked, changing the topic as quickly as humanly possible.
"Honey or jam?"
"Jam, please."
A moment later, the table was covered with toast, eggs, jam, butter, coffee, juice, and turkey bacon. I never asked Bella to be little Susie Homemaker, but she assured me that she genuinely enjoyed it. Who was I to ruin her fun?
"I have a surprise for you later."
"Oh ya?"
"Ya."
"Am I going to hate you for it?"
"Shit, I hope not. It was a bit of a logistical nightmare."
"For who? You or Alice?" she laughed.
"For both of us, smart-ass," I mock-scowled at her.
"How long do I have to wait for this surprise?"
"Just be ready at eight and bundle up."
"Okay, eight it is. Should I worry about making dinner?"
The utter domesticity of it all made my head spin and not in a bad way. I went from being sure I would be alone the rest of my life, to asking the woman I loved what we were having for dinner on a near-nightly basis. After Christmas, and hopefully after Santa Fe, I'd ask Bella to move in with me, but I didn't want to overwhelm her. Also, I didn't think I could handle her refusing my offer if it wound up she was furious with me for setting up everything in Santa Fe.
"No, I've got that covered, too."
We spent the day not doing much at all. Bella sketched out some new pieces she wanted to make. I made a few calls. We ate lunch, cleaned up, took a nap together, and slowly got ourselves ready. It was a conversation that I had with Alice the week previous that had gotten me thinking and planning the evening.
"It really makes me sad. She brushes it off as if it's no big deal, but really, she's been completely alone for seven years. She's had Jake of course, but that's only one person and he has his own life."
"What are you rambling about?"
"Do you realize it's been almost eight years since Bella celebrated Christmas with anyone? Eight years since she's decorated a tree, opened presents on Christmas morning, or even sung a stupid carol?"
"It's been almost eleven for me, what's your point?"
"My point, you big doofus, is that your solitude is self-imposed. Hers isn't. She didn't choose to be a recluse and miss out on all the silly holiday fun, you did."
And, annoyingly, as she tended to be, Alice was right. I had chosen a solitary, quiet life, Bella didn't or at least, not entirely. I knew how much Bella was sacrificing to be with me. I didn't want her missing out on Christmas, too. It wasn't that I disliked holidays, I just hadn't had a reason to celebrate them before Bella. It took a lot of scrambling and calling in some major favors, but in the end, Alice and I had organized a perfectly cheesy, perfectly ridiculous, Christmas-time-in-New-York night.
After making sure she was well layered, perfectly comfortable, and bundled up tight, (and after she did the same for me), we were out the door. It wasn't very often that we went out together, but the fact that it was both dark and winter was to my advantage. I could cover up with hoods, hats, gloves, and scarves and no one had to know what I looked like underneath it all. She was pleasantly surprised when instead of stepping into a waiting car, I led her to the park.
Waiting at the entrance was a horse and carriage.
"Edward, you didn't!" She exclaimed when I held my hand out to help her up.
"I did. Get up and enjoy the ride with me."
When we were seated, side-by-side, the blanket the driver provided covering our legs, she cuddled up to me and I wrapped my arm around her body.
"This is so fantastically cheesy, Edward," she practically giggled as we started our drive.
"I have more in store for you, beautiful," I said before kissing the top of her hat-covered head.
There were little contended sighs and more than one set of "I love you's" exchanged on our ride through the park.
"Alice and I used to do this every year with our mothers when we were kids."
"The horse and carriage through the park?"
"Yes. Well, that and everything else we'll be doing tonight. It was a tradition until I was a teenager and 'too cool' to do stuff with my baby cousin, mom, and aunt."
"Idiot," Bella said, shaking her head.
"I was a teenage boy and thought I was the shit. Give me a break!"
"So what's 'everything else' we'll be doing tonight, then? What else is part of the long-forgotten tradition?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"Actually? No. I think I'm liking the surprises."
"Good. Do I get a kiss for doing well?"
"You're pretty damn sure of yourself."
"You can't hide that perma-smile you've had plastered on your face since we climbed into the carriage, beautiful."
She sighed, for effect, before turning her head and giving me access to her beautiful face. I kissed her chilly pink lips until they were swollen and warm. I was ready for round two, but, unfortunately, the carriage stopped as we reached the East Side of Central Park. She looked at me and pouted.
I knew how she felt, but I also knew what else was in store.
"No pouting, there's more to come."
I made sure my face was covered again, pulled up Bella's hood, and helped her down from the carriage. After paying the driver, I took Bella's hand and led her onto Fifth Avenue. There were few cities on earth as magnificent as New York at Christmas-time and I was going to prove it to her. Between the lights along the Avenues, the amazing window displays, and the hordes of happy faces, it was hard not be swept up in holiday cheer. We walked down Fifth, taking it all in. It was just past nine when I asked her if she was hungry.
"Starved!" was her answer.
I turned off of Fifth Avenue at 53rd and led her to Burger Heaven. It wasn't the best burger in the city, but it was good nonetheless. Plus, their pie and hot chocolate were always plentiful. I had never taken her to a restaurant before, but I couldn't deny her anything and hoped it would be the first of many dinners out. Of course, what she didn't know was that I had bought out the restaurant from eight thirty to closing, not having been entirely sure when we would be arriving.
After we sat down and started pulling our layers off, Bella seemed to realize that we were alone, except for the wait staff.
"Edward, where is everyone?"
"I bought the place out for the night."
"You what?"
"It's what I've done over the years when I've gone to restaurants. It makes things less stressful for me and, I suspect, the other patrons as well. I hope you're okay with that?"
"I'm… fine, I guess. I just never thought of it before." She thought for moment before saying, "When have you been out to restaurants?"
I laughed a little; I wasn't entirely surprised by the question.
"Business. Sometimes, it's inevitable."
"Right, of course." She said, taking it all in. After a moment of silence though, "Was this part of the tradition, too? Hamburgers?"
I smiled. "Yes. There has to be pie and hot chocolate later, too."
"Deal," she beamed at me.
"You know, I thought you'd be annoyed with me for buying out the place."
"Edward, I'm just so happy that we're out in, well, not exactly public, but you know what I mean. Anyway, I'm just so glad that we're out together, like on a real date, that I don't care what you had to do to make it happen."
A moment later, a waiter dropped off our menus. He did a damn decent job pretending not to stare or notice my face, but I could still feel his eyes on me. The water boy had less tact than the waiter, though. He over-filled a glass, letting the water spill to the floor as he held it. When the cold water hit his hand, he seemed to snap out of it. He apologized, put down the glass, and promptly ran away.
"How unbelievably rude! God, didn't anyone teach that kid manners?"
Bella was furious. I understood her anger. It was never easy when people stared. It hurt every single fucking time. I wasn't some freak-show here for their morbid amusement, after all. It took me years to learn not to snap and say something nasty to those people. The fucked-up bottom line was, I expected it. It never made it easier, but I had to accept it. It still cut like a fucking knife though.
"Now you know why I don't go out often."
"I'm so - "
"Don't you dare, Bella," I cut her off before she could say sorry," and a little more sharply than I had wanted. Taking a deep breath, I continued, "let's just order and enjoy the rest of the night, okay?"
"Yes, of course," she said shaking her head. "What are you getting?" she asked, changing the topic to happier things.
"A burger with everything on it, cheese fries, a cherry coke, pecan pie and a hot chocolate for later."
"Mmmm, that sounds good. Make it two."
I had to laugh.
"You gonna eat all that, little girl?"
"Little girl? Little girl! Bring it on, big boy!"
Two burgers with every fixin' imaginable, two plates of cheese fries, an endless parade of cherry cokes, two slices of pie with whipped cream, and two hot chocolates later though, neither of us were in the mood for any more bets.
"Can't breathe. Or move. Or think." she moaned.
I was just as stuffed as she was, but I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of admitting it.
"Well, we have plenty more to do tonight, beautiful. I suggest you take a bathroom break then get ready for more."
"Right…bathroom…sounds good."
The second she got up and turned the corner, I unbuttoned my jeans and moaned myself. Having already paid the restaurant earlier in the week, I waddled to the bathroom, bundled up, covering my face and hands once more, and then made my way outside to wait for Bella. She joined me a few minutes later, took my hand and squeezed.
"Where to next?"
"The tree at Rockefeller Center."
"I don't ice skate. It's not pretty. I tried once. In my defense, though, I lived in the desert most of my life."
"No ice skating, promise. We're just going to stare at the tree a bit, alright?"
"Yes, perfectly okay. I need a little walk after all those fries."
We took our time. We weren't due at our last stop until 11 P.M. and it was only ten. The tree was nice, but just being with Bella, out in the open, unafraid of stares or snickers, was even better. She wrapped her arm around my waist and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. She fit there, snuggled into me. We reached the tree and took in the lights, the ice skaters beneath us, and the carols being pumped through the sound system.
Was it cheesy? Yes. Was the cheese worth the look on her face? Definitely.
It was almost eleven and time for our final stop.
"Ready, beautiful?"
"Yes. Where now?"
"Bloomingdale's."
"Bloomingdale's as in the department store?"
"Yup."
"But it's," she checked her watch, "almost eleven, it can't possibly be open."
"It is for us."
"Edward, what did you do?"
"I made some calls, pulled some strings, and threw some money at the right people."
"You're not secretly a mobster or something are you?"
"No. Why, would that have excited you?"
"Maybe... I could see you in a pinstripe suit, though. Hair slicked back... mmm..."
"Are you really fantasizing about me while walking side-by-side with me?"
"Hell, yes. You don't know Italian, do you?"
"Questa è la mia offerta finale, bellissima," I said, slowly.
"Damn, that was hot. What did you just say? The bellissima part I know, of course."
"I said... 'that's my final offer.'"
She hit me playfully.
"Way to deflate a girl's fantasy, Edward. You could have lied, you know."
I laughed. "Sorry. I'll lie next time, promise. I only know enough Italian to be intimidating in a business deal." Suddenly I felt like calling Rosetta Stone and perfecting my language skills, though.
We reached Bloomingdale's and were ushered inside by the store manager.
"Mr. Masen, a pleasure."
"Thank you," I said, unwrapping myself and pulling my hood down. To his utmost credit, he didn't even flinch.
"Edward, what are doing here?"
"Well, the final part of the night when we were kids was going to the Christmas store inside Bloomies and picking out a new Christmas ornament for the tree."
"That's very sweet, but neither of us have a tree," she stated, truthfully.
I smiled, "Yes, we do. Lydia and a few of the doormen should have already set it up. It'll be waiting for us when we get home."
She stopped, turned, and looked right at me.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, beautiful. We'll need a lot of ornaments, though. I don't even have one."
Her eyes started to water. I leaned over and kissed her cheek.
"No tears, beautiful. Come on, we have some work to do."
"Do we get to pick out lights?" she asked, happily.
"Yes, we do."
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
When we stepped into the Christmas store, even I had to smile. It was amazing, colorful, and glittering. We spent two hours throwing whatever pretty, sparkling thing caught our eye into our baskets. By the time we were done, we had five bags filled with boxed up glass baubles, twinkle lights, ribbon, a tree topper, and even a skirt. It was past one A.M. when we reached the lobby. The manager was waiting for us on Madison Avenue with a cab ready to go. We thanked him and made our way home.
The night had been an incredible success. Although we were tired, when we walked in and the long forgotten, but still familiar, smell of pine hit us, we couldn't help but unpack everything and decorate the tree. It was almost sunrise by the time we were finished. We watched the sun illuminate the city with twinkling lights illuminating the apartment.
#######################
Christmas morning and I was a wreck. Bella made us a special holiday breakfast complete with steamed, figgy pudding. It was delicious. After breakfast though, it was time for gifts and I couldn't help but fidget. Bella kept telling me to calm the hell down, that whatever I got her she would love, but I wasn't so sure.
We started with friends and family gifts first. A bottle of very expensive aged scotch from my mother and father, some private massages from Alice and Jasper. There was a beautiful scarf and several jars of hot sauces, pepper jellies, blue corn pancake mix, and other Southwest treats from her parents. From Alice and Rose, there was a box of "toys" that I was anxious to try out. Apparently all the girls got each other personalized sex toys. From the amount of leather in Bella's box, I could only assume she had shared our little foray into S&M. I could have been annoyed, but I was too excited to test out some extraordinary looking toys on her to care.
When it was time for our gifts to each other, Bella made me go first. The first gift was silly, but sweet - a collection of John Hughes movies. I was really glad I hadn't thought of it myself, then we would have had two copies. Her second gift choked me up, but perhaps not in the way she thought. I opened a long thin box to find a fine, black leather cuff. There were two aged copper snaps at both ends and a red leather suede underside. Of course, it was the initials "E.M." stitched into a beautifully elaborate embroidered crest that was the star.
I was silent for a long time.
"Do you like it?"
I needed another moment.
"I did some research on your family name and found the historically accurate crest and everything," she said, proudly.
That little admission didn't help the churning guilt inside.
"Umm..." she said, nervously. "I had Rose make the cuff, but she told me where I could have the crest and your initials sewn in," she continued, sounding a little sad and worried.
I had to say something. She thought I didn't like it. Truth was, I loved it. I really did. I had every intention of wearing it. But it was the lie that was killing me. True, technically I was Masen. But the further truth, the more accurate truth, was that I was a Cullen and that was something she wasn't privy to, was it? And whose fault was that? Mine and mine alone. It was my confession to make and I had waited so long, that it no longer felt like a small detail, but instead had grown into a big fucking deal.
"You don't like it, do you?" She said, crestfallen.
I placed the box on the floor, grabbed her head with both hands, and kissed her for all I was worth.
Please love me, no matter what, I was trying to say. Please, no matter how evil my past was, look past it, I pleaded as I sucked on her bottom lip.
When I pulled my lips away from her, she was breathless.
"Bella, this is the most intimate gift I've ever received. I'm..." not Edward Masen, though.
"You're?" she asked, hopefully.
"Moved. Incredibly moved. Help me put it on?"
She lit the fuck up. She was brighter than all the fucking lights on the damn Christmas tree. I felt incredibly nauseous. She snapped the cuff onto my wrist and spun it around so the crest faced up.
"It fits! I'm so glad. Rose and I actually used Emmett's wrist as a guide," she chuckled.
"It's perfect, thank you isn't enough." It really wasn't.
"You're welcome. It looks good… sexy, even."
"I don't know about that, but it looks good."
We sat in silence for a few moments, both staring at my wrist.
"So... do I get this gift your so anxious about?"
"Yes, but not yet. Open this first."
I got her something that I knew she would love, just in case she hated the real gift. I didn't want her to feel cheated on Christmas, after all. I remembered her saying once that her favorite chef was the Australian equivalent to Martha Stewart. She had a magazine and everything, but it didn't have an American distributor and was therefore ridiculously expensive and difficult to get in the US. I figure out who she was talking about, Donna Hay, and got her a subscription to the magazine and two of her books. Slyly, I was going to have the magazines sent to my apartment. It was silly, but I was hoping it might be further incentive for her to move in with me when the time came for me to ask.
"EDWARD! OH MY GOD! This is perfect! Oh, I can't wait, I LOVE her!" She was absolutely ecstatic. I was relieved, but only momentarily.
"I'm so glad, beautiful. Ready for number two?"
"Yes, but seriously, this was enough! I can't wait. I think I might actually save them... buy one of those magazine boxes and everything."
I nodded and smiled as I handed her the manila envelope, too anxious to say anything.
"Another envelope? You got away easy with the wrapping, huh?"
"Ya," I said, nervously.
She opened it, pulled out the print-out of the rental house, and looked utterly confused. She looked at me, brow furrowed.
"I don't get it. What is this?"
"It a house I've rented, for you... for us. We have it for six months so you can come and go as you please. Sue's promised me she already stocked the fridge. It has TVs and computers and everything. All we really need to bring are some clothes."
"Sue? Sue stocked the fridge?"
"Yes, Bella."
"The house is in Santa Fe?" she asked, shocked.
"Just outside, actually. It's only about fifteen minutes from your parents, or at least that's what Charlie told me."
"Charlie told you?" She sounded confused or maybe just overwhelmed. "What about work?" she suddenly asked, panicked. "My job? My apartment?"
"Lydia can check on your apartment if you want and Alice called your boss. You haven't taken a single day off since you started there. Are you aware of that? Anyway, he was very cool with it, said you could take two weeks off if you wanted, he's already found someone to cover."
She stood slowly and walked toward the windows silently. Then, suddenly, severely, she spun back toward me.
"Do you mean to tell me that, behind my back, you, Alice, Sue, and Charlie just decided that I needed a trip to Santa Fe? That the four of you just arranged my life for me? Put my job on hold, without my consent... I'd bet everything I own that Alice already packed for me, didn't she?"
When I didn't answer, she got angrier.
"DIDN'T SHE?" Of course, Alice had, but that was neither here nor there.
I noticed almost immediately though, that she hadn't said no. She hadn't once said she didn't want to go. She had glossed over the gift entirely and instead was focusing on frivolous details. Was she honestly trying to convince me that she was annoyed that we had arranged everything for her? She wasn't that good of an actress and I wasn't fucking buying it.
I stood up very calmly.
"I can see that you're upset right now, beautiful," I said, trying calm things down. "I need to ask you something, though, and you need to be honest with me."
"Ha! Honesty, well that's rich coming from you," I ignored her attempt at goading me. "What the hell do you want to know?" she spat at me.
"Are you actually angry at all of us… or are you scared?"
Her shoulders dropped, her face fell, all the seething energy she had seconds ago seemed to simply fizzle.
"I'm not scared," she started, unable to look me in the eyes. "Edward, I'm so terrified I don't even know what to do with myself."
My arms were around her less than a second later. I held her to me and let her cry and shake. I couldn't understand what she was going through, but she didn't have to suffer it alone, not anymore.
"I won't leave your side for even a moment. I promise. The second you tell me it's too much, we're gone. Do you understand me? I'll be there every step of the way."
"I...can't hold...your hand...the whole time," she squeaked out between tears and shaky breaths.
"Yes, you fucking can."
Next chapter: Santa Fe, Charlie, Sue, and memory lane for Bella... it won't be easy.
Reviews are better than hot chocolate and pecan pie at Christmas-time.