Sonic Insanity

So far we have an unbelievable 10 characters, submitted by Chaotix Extremist, molly-mouse616, Hyper metal Sonic X, TexasGal4, Cheesemonger, AgodofIrony, Shiay, Clan rHrn, Shadow555555, and a line of asterisks in a row. In the process, I have attracted four new reviewers (Shiay, Hyper metal sonic X, TexasGal4 and Shadow55555), but the line of asterisks may possibly be new. Due to limits of story size, I can't include any more, so please do not send any more. I will make sure to use all of them, even though they can't all be in one chapter like I planned. But keep on reviewing!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"It is really time this story took off in some direction," pointed out Tails. "What could we do?"

"Um… write books about our experiences?" wondered Knuckles.

Sonic began to spit and cough. "Ach-TOOEY! Blecch! That's AWFUL! TERRIBLE! The worst idea in years!"

Every idea that they came up with met a similar rejection from Sonic.

"All right," said Shadow, looking angry, "we could be crime fighters!"

"Don't we already?" asked Tails.

"AAAAAAAAAUGH! What a horrendous idea!" spat Sonic. "But… oh, I know…" The gleam of madness/indigestion was glimmering in his eyes.

"What?" asked Knuckles.

"We could fight crime!"

"I just said that!" howled Shadow.

"My timing is better," smiled Sonic kindly, patting Shadow on the head. While the black hedgehog choked and spat incoherently with rage, Sonic said, "But, if it makes Black Fur here happy, we could do community service instead."

"I think it's a good idea!" Tails grinned. "We'll get to be a greater part of our community- helping the underprivileged in their path to something more and the criminals in their path to redemption. By assisting these ordinary people of the earth, we can get a true insight into the psyche of someone who, despite their troubles, can only do what they can to help others. And then there's the-"

"Um, it was more about the free food, but that works too," Sonic said.

While Tails hung his head in shame, everyone else packed up what they'd need and drove off to the nearby soup kitchen.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" asked Shadow suspiciously as Knuckles stepped out of the car.

"See where it says Pappy Jenkins' Broth n' Beef Hall?" asked Knuckles.

"No…"

"Oh," said Knuckles, embarrassed. "Well, this is the place."

They stepped into the building and signed themselves up. Picking up bowls, they began to receive large dollops of soup from the other workers.

"Oh, so Sonic the Hedgehog can't afford food now, huh?" sneered one of the soup servers.

"What? We're here to work!" said Sonic indignantly.

"Then start serving soup! The job isn't to GET soup, it's to SERVE it!" snarled the soup server.

Knuckles, his eyes narrowing, got over to the right side of the soup counter. "My apologies, friend," he grinned, extending his hand in a gesture of welcome.

Suspiciously, the guy took it. Knuckles suddenly grabbed his hand extremely hard and punched him in the face with the other hand. He then grabbed the guy by the leg, swung him around in a circle and flung him into a wall.

"Finish him!" said some big booming voice a la Mortal Kombat. Knuckles performed a shockingly violent Fatality on the guy.

Sonic, Tails and Shadow got into the line to serve soup, which they did. However, the soup server's friends were attacking Knuckles. He surrounded them, outnumbering them 1 to 15… oh wait.

He was ready anyway. Knuckles performed all sorts of preposterous moves that sent his enemies flying in all directions. He pulled out a flamethrower (um…) and blasted one person with it.

"Toasty!" exclaimed the booming-voiced announcer. Finally, for the last guy, Knuckles defeated him with a series of high and low kicks, and then finally gave him a bunch of flowers.

"Friendship… friendship?" exclaimed the announcer in disgust (you can do that in one of the Mortal Kombat games). Everyone looked at the soup line, where a hobo with a huge sound system and a deep-voice mike had been announcing the match.

"Uh… I'll leave," he explained.

"Good for you," said Shadow nervously.

"Wow… all that fighting builds up an appetite… I'll just have a little soup," Knuckles said. Receiving glares from everyone, he held his bowl out for some soup.

"No soup for you!" said the Soup Nazi.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" screamed Knuckles, full of fear for this agent of evil. He performed an outlandish kick on the Soup Nazi, but nothing happened.

"He is beyond human…" said Tails, as if he had any evidence or basis for his judgments. "His soul is one of Seinfeld's now… a mysterious realm where comedy is everywhere and the funny are revered by society…"

"I'll have to go there," muttered Chevy Chase, a hobo in the soup line.

Knuckles attempted several more lightning-fast moves, but the Soup Nazi grabbed him by the throat. Knuckles' mind shot to an obvious conclusion…

"Help! Help! Anti-Semitism!" he screamed. People looked at him.

"The Soup Nazi! Anti-Semitism! He's come to take my Jewish soul away!" Knuckles roared.

"He's not called the Soup Nazi because he's a Nazi, just cause he's strict about giving out soup," Tails said.

"Oh," Knuckles growled angrily. The Soup Nazi threw him into a wall, and then ran away.

Three hours later

"Well, so far this has been a total disaster," snarled Sonic. "After all that Mortal Kombat nonsense, we had to deal with the Soup Nazi! I won't even talk about the cherry bomb in the chicken broth… then there was the food fight where Tails got stabbed with the corner of a folded napkin…"

"I'll call the hospital," said Shadow sarcastically. "You weren't the one who had to fight off the Mafia when we refused to pay their 'protection' fee!"

"And I got beaten up by the Soup Fuhrer, after taking out 15 hobos," Knuckles spat.

"Looks like Community service just ain't for us," mused Shadow. "What should we do now?"

"Well, we could fight crime," Sonic said. "And it's all thanks to my ideas that we can."

Shadow screamed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Review, and submit those fan characters!