Thanks to TheOtherBella and HottlettLA for their help, as always. They make my chapters all growned up like big girl chapters! Hehehe.
I am so in love with my readers. You guys are enthusiastic and involved and I love it! Please don't stop.
Rinpoche (rin-po-chay) = an exalted Buddhist teacher.
I don't own, I just play.
Chapter 16, Homecoming
BPOV
The cruelest part of my mother's suicide was that it didn't kill me in return. Instead, I was reduced to being tortured with question after question. "Why?" was the most prevalent. I thought I could run away. I thought if I put enough distance between myself and the air she once breathed, I could survive. I was fooling myself. Nothing, not my tattoo, not distance, not the systematic forgetting of memories would take away the pain.
I tried to sleep, but it was in vain. I thought if I could sleep through the flight, then somehow the memories would simply leave me alone. But, of course, I couldn't sleep. And, of course, the memories came.
"Bella? Bella! Where are you?"
I was sniveling in the corner of the changing room. It was all my fault. I was a catastrophe in a tutu. I wanted to hide. I could live out the rest of my days behind the sequins and velvets on the clothing rack in front of me - I didn't know how, but I would figure it out.
"Bella, sweetheart, come out. Come on now, you're scaring Mommy."
I curled myself into an impossibly smaller ball and covered myself in a piece of sheer blue silk. I knew she'd be able to see me, but at least I attempted to hide my shame and guilt and embarrassment. I could hear her footsteps; she had to be mere inches from me.
"Bella, please. I need to see you, my love. I need to know you're okay!"
She sounded panicked. She was actually scared? At seven years old, that was too much for me to take.
"I'm here, Mommy," I whimpered from my blue silk hidey-hole.
Then there were warm hands, warm arms, and a lap. My mother had found me, sat down, and pulled me into her body. I couldn't help but let my tears fall.
"There, there, now. Go ahead and cry."
And I did.
"We can't stay here forever, Bella. You're going to have to face them eventually, you know that, right?"
"But they hate me!"
"I doubt that. They might be upset right now, but tomorrow's another day. They're your friends; they're probably worried about you, just like I was."
After my twirl, I got disoriented and wobbled backward right into the cardboard tree. The tree fell down, knocking over the cardboard grass and flowers, which knocked over the cardboard bunnies, which knocked into Julie, who tumbled down taking down the entire class, who were all standing side-by-side. It was a disaster and I ran off stage to hide.
"No. They hate me."
"Is that what you want? You want them to hate you?"
"No! I want them not to be mad at me. I want them to still be my friends!" I wailed.
"What does Rinpoche Tichen say about negative thoughts?"
Rinpoche Tichen was one of our Buddhist teachers at the center. He was usually the one who worked with all the kids. He was scary sometimes, but he was hard not to pay attention to. I'd never seen anyone so still before... for a kid who was always falling down and tripping over her feet, that was something to look up to.
"He says that negative thoughts are doomed to come true if you feed them."
"Do you think you're feeding them right now?"
I buried my head into my mother's chest and nodded.
"So what are you going to do?"
I thought about Rinpoche and how still he always was. Whenever we started to wiggle around and get antsy he would hush us gently, then tell us to close our eyes.
I did.
He would tell us to imagine a small ball of gold light in our stomachs.
I did.
He would tell us to take deep breaths.
I did.
He would tell us to imagine that ball of light growing bigger and bigger with every breath.
I did.
"Imagine the light filling all your body. Imagine the light coming from your fingertips, your head, your feet, and lighting up the world around you."
And I did. And I was calm again. I was ready to wipe my eyes, stand up, and apologize.
"You seem better now, sweetheart. What changed?"
"I'm all gold and lighting up the world!" I exclaimed happily.
"Yes, you are, my love. You certainly are."
I hadn't imagined myself as gold light since college. It seemed so silly when I was 18. It was baby stuff and I was a big bad grown up by then. And anyway, I had been mediating and learning about Buddhism since I was a kid, being around a bunch of college kids who were just discovering it and being all pretentious about it, was a massive turn-off. Maybe, it was time to find that part of myself again.
"Bella?"
I turned my head to see a very concerned looking Edward.
"Yes?"
"Just tell me you're okay?"
"I'm okay, why?"
"Because you're crying, beautiful."
I reached up to my face; it was wet. I had been crying. Maybe... maybe I had been meditating in my own way and hadn't even realized it? I remembered those nights spent in Garrett's chair, being tattooed. I remembered running through memories then, too. And just like I had been in the plane, I had cried without really being aware of it. Some part of what my mother instilled in me was still there, no matter how hard I had tried to throw it away.
I looked out the window, I knew we were close. There was the desert. There was that color of sky that didn't exist anywhere else. Instead of panicking, though, something felt right. Something felt good and comforting. Something felt like a gold light in the pit of my stomach. That gold light was ready to expand and shine. Maybe it was time to let it.
It was just past twilight when we landed in the private airport outside of Santa Fe. I was glad that Charlie and Sue weren't there to meet us, actually. I was handling everything better than I thought I would, but seeing them so suddenly would have been difficult.
A new, shiny black pickup truck was waiting for us. Edward had nixed the idea of driver while we were there since he had a "native," me, to guide us around. Even so, the rental house's address had already been programmed into the GPS; Alice had thought of everything. As Edward drove, the night got darker and darker. We arrived at a beautiful, single story adobe house on a private road. Sue must have left the lights on for us, because the house was welcoming us in with warm light. I stepped out of the car, in something of a daze, and took in a deep, deep breath.
Sage, earth, ozone... Mom.
I heard doors opening and closing, then beeps, before I felt Edward beside me.
"Let's go in, it's freezing out here."
I followed him in and was momentarily awed. The house was stunning. Everything was just so perfect - the furniture, the walls, the art, the incredible rugs. I couldn't have dreamed up a more perfect southwest-style house. There was a pool someplace, along with a garden, and miles upon miles of private desert acreage out back. I was still staring at everything around me when I heard Edward yelling from someplace.
"I found the master!"
"Be right there!"
I made my way down one hall with beautifully appointed bedrooms and down another with various other rooms. The master bedroom was at the back. Although it was getting darker by the minute, I could still make out a great expanse of nothing but desert behind the French doors.
"Can you cut the lights please, Edward?"
I stepped through the back doors into the night. As soon as the bedroom lights were off, I was in semi-darkness. A few moments later, I was in complete darkness. Edward must have turned off all the lights in the house. There was no shade of black like desert-black. At first, it's blinding. Then slowly, oh, so slowly, the stars became visible, the moon spread a thin veil of blue over everything, and the mountains in the distance glowed. A moment longer, the sounds of the desert were singing.
I couldn't remember why I kept myself away for so long. I could feel my shoulders relax. My heart slowed. My breathing was deep. I felt so at ease, so right. Shame on me for not allowing my body the healing air, smells, and sounds that were my desert. Some small part of me was coming back to life - a part that I had been determined to kill slowly and painfully.
My mother was everywhere, though, just as I had feared. However, when I saw her in the moonlight chanting at some invisible goddess, I thought, "So what?" What was so wrong about that again?
"I've never been anywhere so... black before," Edward whispered beside me.
"Give it a minute, black will turn to shades of blue."
"Wow," he whispered a few minutes later.
"Agreed... why are you whispering?"
"I don't really know. I just don't want to ruin the peace here."
Peace. Huh, peace. Is that what I was feeling? Peace? Not quite. Not yet. Maybe soon, but not yet.
"I've never been anywhere so expansive and empty."
"I feel like I can breathe for the first time in years, Edward."
"Does it hurt?" he asked, cautiously.
"No. It doesn't hurt, exactly. But I feel a heaviness that I can't seem to shake."
I took his hand and followed him inside. After some fumbling, I closed the door while he found a bedside lamp and turned it on. I was finally able to take in the room. Wooden beams, large bed with a fluffy white down comforter. A fireplace, chairs by the French doors, more beautiful rugs... it was perfect.
"This place is stunning. I shudder to think how much it's costing you."
"Don't think about it, it's nothing, Bella."
I had no doubt that for him, it was nothing. To me, it was almost overwhelming.
"You look so beautiful right now. I mean, you always do, but there's something different about you right now... it's like you're glowing."
Imagine a small ball of gold light in your stomach.
He walked toward me.
Take deep breaths.
His hand cupped my cheek.
Imagine that ball of light growing bigger and bigger with every breath.
He kissed my forehead.
Imagine the light filling your body.
His other hand rested on my hip and squeezed gently.
Imagine the light coming from your fingertips and lighting up the world around you…
He lowered his head and kissed my lips.
...your head, your feet...
My heart thumped in my chest, my calm, even breath speeding up in anticipation.
...and lighting up the world around you.
When he kissed me again, a searing heat enveloped me.
"Tell me to stop and I will. Tell me this isn't the time and place, Bella."
"I can't."
"Shit, I shouldn't do this to you, now."
I mimicked his hand and placed it on his hip, then pulled him toward me.
"Why not?" I whispered, turning my head as he kissed my neck.
"There must be a million things running through your head right now."
"All forgotten, just love me."
"I always love you."
He walked me backward toward the bed. When I felt the frame behind my knees, I fell onto it. Edward maneuvered himself to land beside me. He traced a single finger down my neck, around my nipple, and further down to the button of my jeans. As he kissed me, he unbuttoned my jeans, pulled down the zipper, and wiggled his hand between me and my pants. When he could feel how hot I was, how moist he made me, he groaned.
"Off. I need them off," he practically growled.
I pulled and pushed with my feet and in moments my jeans were off. I toed off my socks and was about to pull down my undies, when he stopped me.
"That's my job, beautiful."
True to his word, he kissed my stomach just above the elastic band then slowly pulled my panties from my body. When my legs had stopped fidgeting from anticipation, I made quick work of my shirt and bra, carelessly tossing them someplace.
"I'll never get over it, never."
"Get over what?" I asked, as he raked my body with hungry eyes.
"How the fuck I managed to get you. You're too beautiful, too sexy, too amazing for me."
How exactly do you respond to something like that without sounding trite or conceited? I didn't know, so I didn't speak.
"Move back and open your legs."
Seconds later, "Christ, you're fucking glistening for me."
I could have sworn he mumbled something along the lines of "don't fucking deserve it," but my head was too hazy and hopped up on hormones to actually pay attention.
A warm breath tickled my sex and I damn near lost it. When his tongue licked my clit, I cried out. As he continued to lick and suck, I thought of that light, that golden light illuminating every inch of me. He said I was glowing, could he see it? Could he see me glittering gold? I felt as precious as gold as I came, waves of warmth and light passed through me.
When he entered me, he shuddered, and then froze.
"Too... good..." he said through grinding teeth.
I stayed perfectly still, relishing the feeling of him filling me, stretching me. He twitched inside me and I bit my tongue instead of moaning his name. His first thrust was small and deliberate. I squeezed my walls around his shaft, letting out that moan I had held in only second before. Another thrust, less careful, more powerful. He was going achingly slow. I could feel his head, the solid flesh of his shaft, his sac as he pressed in and out of me.
"Touch yourself, beautiful," he asked, after he worked up to his regular speed.
I reached between us and felt him slide in and out of me, lubricating my finger. When I touched myself, it was almost painful. It was too much - too swollen, too hot. But the look of lust on his face urged me on. Looking at him, as he looked at my fingers working my bundle, was overwhelming. The awe, the love, the pure feral sexuality he oozed... it undid me. As I came, I quivered and shook. As he came, he roared into the air and thrust into me until our pelvises ground against each other.
For once, I knew when my face was wet with tears. He called me beautiful everyday. There was beauty in him, too. Somewhere beneath his mangled skin, beneath the pain, there was a beauty that he would never admit to and only I would ever see. I saw it in that moment and it matched my own golden light.
EPOV
We were due at Bella's parents place at eleven for brunch. She was lost in her own little universe. Apart from the world altering sex we'd had the night before, she'd been in that little bubble since we got on the plane. I, on the other hand, was a fucking wreck. She either didn't notice, or I was hiding it really well, because I was a disaster. Her parents knew about the scars and all that, and yes, that made me nervous, but the gravity of "meeting the parents," was what was getting to me.
Charlie was a Marine, a detective, and Bella was definitely Daddy's little girl, but she was also Sue's pride and joy as well. What if I said something epically stupid? What if they hated me in person? What if, despite the fact that they knew about my deformities, they were still disgusted by me? I knew I wasn't good enough for her, no matter what Bella said, but what if they figured that out, too?
I was in the midst of my panicking when Bella told me to make a right into a housing community. We passed adobe houses of various colors and sizes. A left and at the end of the block was a nicely maintained sandy-colored adobe, with a fine array of cacti out front. An American flag flew next to a New Mexico flag at the front door. A cool hand grabbed my own, sweaty one.
"You have noting to worry about. I love you."
"I think I'm gonna vomit."
"Don't be a drama queen, Edward."
She pulled her hand from mine, checked her makeup in the visor, and stepped out of the car. I slapped myself... hard. I shook my head, stepped out of the car, locked it, and joined her by the front door. Bella rang the bell and the unmistakable sound of Sue yelling "COMING!" followed by many small, quick steps. A moment later, the door opened, a split second after that, Bella and I were being squeezed, together, by a pair of small, but sturdy arms.
I heard a deep steady chuckle from beyond the doorway. A tall, strong, ram-rod straight, dark-haired guy, rocking a killer 'stache was shaking his head as he winked at me from the hallway. He screamed authority. He was Charlie.
"Sue, honey. You wanna maybe let the kids breathe? Or step inside out of the cold?"
"Hush up, man! Leave an old woman to her hugging!"
"Well, when she's done hugging, I'll be in the living room, waiting for my turn."
He didn't bat an eye when he saw me. Not a shuddering breath, not a shake of the head, nothing. I respected him for that, more than he would ever know.
"Sue," Bella started, "as much as I love, as we love hugging you, it's freezing out. Think we could come in?"
"Oh fine! Ruin my fun," she said and released us. "Now let me take a good look at you two."
She looked at us, taking everything in. She was shorter than Bella, though not as short as Alice. She was a pleasantly plump woman, with glittering black eyes, long, thick, salt and pepper hair that was piled on her head in a long braid. She was either Native American or Mexican, I couldn't quite tell. She was wearing an intricately woven sweater with Native American patterns on it, which wrapped around her belly with a matching woven tie, and her smile couldn't be ignored. She had the skin of a woman half her age and she radiated such maternal warmth, that I couldn't help but smile back. I had the feeling that we were in for many more squeezes as the afternoon wore on. She took our hands and dragged us into the warm, cozy house.
She took our coats and hung them in the front hall closet before taking my hand and leading me toward the kitchen… without Bella.
"Let's give father and daughter a minute, huh?"
"Sure," I said sniffing. Something smelled incredible. I knew the horror stories of Bella's mother's cooking. I wondered if Sue taught Bella how to cook, from the smell of things, she must have.
As soon as I was seated at the kitchen counter, I got another squeeze.
"You don't know how happy I am that you got our Bella home," she said, emotion dripping from her words.
I let my arms wrap around her body and hugged back.
"It was my pleasure, Sue. She needed this."
"We did, too, Edward. We needed it so much. We were worried we might lose her forever. She was so sad before you."
She pulled away, her eyes were watery. She walked to the sink and pulled off a piece of paper towel before wiping her eyes with it. She looked at me long and hard before taking my hands in hers. She traced the line of a scar across the pad of my thumb. If it had been anyone else, I would have jerked my hand away. But I couldn't do that to Sue. Her curiosity didn't come from a negative place.
"How long ago did this happen?"
"Over ten years."
"We never get over tragedy, not really," she said, sagely.
I shook my head, agreeing, but not saying anything. She was right; nothing ever really made tragedy okay. We stayed like that, my hand cradled in hers, her feeling the bumps and crevices in my skin.
"I think drinks are in order, don't you?" she said happily out of nowhere. "Edward, be a doll and pull the champagne out of the fridge? You open it, I'll get the glasses together."
I was incredibly moved by her immediate carefree hospitality.
I didn't deal with the best kind of people in my day-to-day life. I dealt with the extremely rich; therefore, I dealt with a lot of greed. I dealt with the kind of people who, if it didn't say Bulgari or Gucci, weren't interested. But five minutes with Sue and I knew she was nothing but a good heart. I knew Bella wasn't her biological child, but something had definitely rubbed off on her. Bella applied the same benefit of the doubt when it came to people. To women like Sue and Bella, people were innocent until proven guilty. That was a rare thing in the circles I traveled in. Again, I didn't deserve them, but for some reason they were in my life and I was once again awed by my dumb, blinding, luck.
I found the champagne, tore off the tin, and uncorked it. Sue had a tray with four flutes waiting. I poured and grabbed the tray. I followed her past the kitchen, back across the hall, and into the living room. Before us, Bella and her father were still standing arm in arm, hugging. He was rocking her side-to-side, his head resting on top of her head. His eyes were closed and her back was to me.
I didn't want to ruin the moment. It hit me then, the enormity of the situation. Bella hadn't seen her parents for over two years. She hadn't been back home, to Santa Fe, for over seven years - she had been too afraid of her mother's ghost. But, she was home and could stay for as little or as long as she wanted. Hell, if she gave me the word, I'd buy the house and we could move to Santa Fe - I didn't care, as long as I was with her.
Charlie opened his eyes and saw me staring. He smiled at me. If I didn't know what a tough guy he was, I could have sworn I saw a tear - but Charlie Swan didn't cry... right? When they slowly untangled themselves from each other, I brought the tray over and we all took a glass.
"To my baby being home and to the guy who got her here."
Ten years of isolation from the world had left me cold and bitter. Bella was changing that for me, but being surrounded by a family, as I was just then, was foreign to me. I hadn't been around that much love in a long, long time. It was almost a shock to the system. Champagne finished, Bella helped Sue take the tray back to kitchen leaving me and Charlie in the living room, alone. There was a fire going, comfy furniture, and more than one award, badge, and plaque on the mantle. There were framed pictures and dried chilies everywhere.
"Have a seat, Edward."
"Thank you, sir."
"Please, the newbies in the department call me 'sir'. Call me Charlie."
"Okay... Charlie."
Charlie sat in a large, worn-out leather Lay-Z-Boy. I settled into the couch to the right of him.
"I've seen worse you know."
"Excuse me?"
"I was a Marine, Edward. I've seen my share of horror. I just wanted you know that."
"Thank you," I said, not really understand what I was thanking him for. Later, when I had the time to think about it, I realized it was his was of acknowledging and dismissing the way I looked. It didn't matter to Charlie Swan one bit. I could only imagine what he had seen in his careers. Death, blood, all matter of torture and gore. By comparison, I must have been a beauty queen. It was a roundabout way of accepting me, but I got it in the end.
We made some uncomfortable small talk - sports, weather, Santa Fe, New York. When Bella came to let us know that brunch was ready, we happily shot up and followed her to the dining room.
"Sue, honey, how many more people you expecting?" asked Charlie when he saw the spread before him.
I was thinking the same thing at the time, but didn't say anything. There was enough food for three Emmetts at the table. That equaled roughly ten people. We sat down, ate, drank, laughed, reminisced, told stories, and for the first time in ten years, I missed my own family. I could hardly remember what family meals were like with them, but I missed the comfort that family offered. Although, at the end, before I left, things hadn't been happy or comfortable. I pushed the thoughts from my mind though, and focused on the family in front of me.
When we couldn't eat another bite, Sue packed up leftovers for us. Bella and Sue were meeting up the following day to do "girlie things" and Charlie had asked me to the shooting range with him. I was honored that he wanted to spend time with me but... Even though I was in a strange city, being in public was not someplace I wanted to be. He must have sensed my hesitation, or maybe the look on my face.
"Before you get all shy me, every one of those guys has seen action either abroad or on home turf, a few scars won't scare them. I promise you that, Edward."
I looked at him. He looked me right in the eyes. He was daring me to be brave. I nodded and accepted the offer.
Bella and I loaded up the car and were about to leave when she asked if she could drive. I handed her the keys and settled into the passenger seat. Ten minutes later, I realized we weren't going back to the house.
"Where are we going?"
"There's someplace I need to go if I'm going to be able to enjoy myself here."
"Where's that, beautiful?"
"The place we scattered my mother's ashes."
I wasn't prepared for that. Then again, when would I have been? About twenty minutes later, we pulled into a parking lot. Beyond a small Parks Department house, was an expanse of land that stretched on and on forever. I looked to Bella, she was white-knuckling the steering wheel. I wanted to pull her into me, but seatbelts and consoles were in the way. I made sure the doors were open, walked over to her side, and opened hers.
Carefully, not wanting to hurt or scare her, I pulled her frozen body away from the car, and into my arms. Her arms wrapped around my neck, her legs wrapped around my waist. I held her to me and leaned up against the hood of the car. Her breaths were so shallow and quick I was afraid she would hyperventilate. I squeezed her to me tighter and made calming shushing noises. Didn't help. I was getting more and more worried.
I started humming something. I didn't realize what it was until the words quietly spilled from my mouth.
"It won't do, to dream of caramel, to think of cinnamon, and long for you."
It was the Suzanne Vega song that had been playing on Thanksgiving. The same song that had played as we danced with our friends, the night I told her I loved her.
"It won't do, to stir a deep desire, to fan a hidden fire that can never burn true."
Her breathing seemed to slow a little. Her arms relaxed slightly.
"I know your name, I know your skin, I know the way these things begin."
Her thumping heart slowed, her head shifted.
"But I don't know, how I would live with myself, what I would give of myself, if you don't go."
When I heard her hum along with me for the next line, my relief was palpable.
"So goodbye, sweet appetite, no single bite, could ever satisfy."
I didn't dare stop singing, not when it seemed to be working so well. By the last verse, she was quietly singing along. I mentally thanked the universe. She finally let her legs drop to the ground and her arms slip away from my neck.
"Welcome back, beautiful."
Silence.
"We don't have to do this, you know. We can go back to the house, take a bath, just relax for a minute. How about it? Hmm?" I asked before kissing the top of her head.
She nodded and made her way to the passenger side. We made it home and I started the bath. We relaxed and soaked together. We ate some leftovers. We watched some TV. She fell asleep on my chest. Eventually I turned off the lights. Her steady breaths lulled me to sleep.
"Edward, wake up, please," I felt a little push to my shoulder. "Edward, please," another push. When I opened my eyes, Bella was sitting on the bed, cross-legged.
"Everything okay?" I asked sleepily.
"I need to go back."
"Okay, whenever you want, Bella."
"Now."
"Now? Bella, it's," I looked to the bedside alarm clock, "three thirty in the morning. Not to mention how cold it's going to be."
"Please. I need to go now. I would go alone, but..." she paused, "I need you with me. I have to go, I have to face it."
She was getting upset again. I could deny her nothing, though.
"Ok, beautiful. We'll bundle up and take blankets with us."
She took in a big sigh of relief.
"I'll see if I can find some flashlights." I thought aloud.
It was almost sunrise by the time we made it to the parking lot. I drove. Bella got out of the car, by herself, and waited for me. It wasn't until my hand was in hers that she moved. We walked past the little security house and were met with a freezing expanse of earth. Light was just starting to tickle the sky around us. As if drawn by a magnet, Bella led to us a spot of earth, stopped, and looked around.
"Here?" I asked.
"Mhmm."
I laid down the thick wool blanket I had grabbed from a guest room. I sat down and pulled her to my lap. It was sad and awkward. We sat in silence watching the sky change colors as the sun rose. It was one of the most exquisite things I've ever seen. Somewhere between burnt orange and soft peach, Bella finally spoke.
"Hi Mom," she started. I could hear her voice warble. "I'm home."
It was difficult for me to sit there and be quiet as she spoke to the woman who had hurt her so deeply. Mother or not, I was angry at Renee.
"I don't know what to say to you anymore. There was a time I was furious. Now I'm just..."
She was just? It took several minutes for her to speak again.
"I'm just sorry you'll never meet Edward. He means the world to me."
Years of pain and avoidance and that's what she has to say? She tells her mother about me? Disgust in my own cowardice crept up my spine. I felt sick.
"I almost didn't come back here. I almost decided it was too painful. I'm glad I did. You ripped out a piece of my heart the day you..."
Killed yourself selfishly, I thought.
"…died. I never thought I'd feel whole again after it. I wasn't for a long time, actually. I was in so much pain that I didn't come home to the desert I love so much. You made me afraid to come home, Mom. That wasn't fair. I don't know where you are, but I want you to thank Edward. He held my hand when you couldn't."
We sat there for a few more minutes. My legs were numb with cold. My conscience was burning with guilt. She laid her heart bare to her mother. Once again, she called me her hero. I had held back parts of myself from her, important parts, but parts that I was too ashamed to share. It had to end, and soon. I couldn't live with myself much longer keeping bits and pieces of myself locked away from the woman I loved. Right then and there though, was about Bella exorcising her demons.
The time for me to exorcise my own demons would come and it would come much sooner than I ever could have anticipated.
A/N
Don't hate me for the last sentence, please. I warned most of you that it was about to hit the fan.
For those of you didn't know until now... it's about to hit the fan.
I know, I'm a stinker. On the plus side? I've already started writing the next chappie. It will be up early next week. Maybe even this weekend if I haul ass.
Reviews are better than... hmmm. Nothing all that happy this chapter huh? Reviews are like desert sunrises - colorful and affirming.