Sonic Insanity

Hey, everyone! Fan characters are next chapter!

WE HAVE THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN REVIEWS! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. Let's go to 400!

I think I said this last chapter: I AM NOT ACCEPTING ANY MORE FAN CHARACTERS! But there was some confusion when apparently I asked for more. This might have been because I wrote that chapter far in advance, then when I realized I had too many characters I added it on last minute without checking anything else. Sorry! I feel bad for all of you who spent all that work on a fan-character and it's no longer eligible. I just have too many.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sonic and Tails were playing the Sims on their Game Cube.

"Has anyone noticed that this sort of video-game reference usually comes from what games the author is playing?" Tails asked.

Sonic approached Tails' character and chose to Socialize.

"Sonic! Stop hitting on my character!" snarled Tails. "I'm tired of you turning my character gay! It's juvenile humor!"

"Ha, you said gay," giggled Sonic as he presented Tails' character with flowers.

"Please don't accept them, please don't accept them," Tails begged his character. The character accepted them. Tails roared with anger.

Meanwhile, Knuckles was upstairs, on (probably not a real site). His eyes lit up (more like twitched briefly) as he saw something that attracted his interest.

"Whoa! An interview with 50 Cent about his new album!" Knuckles grinned, clicking on the link. The video showed 50 Cent sitting with a visibly intimidated white host.

"So," the host stammered, "what's the title of your next album, and when can we expect it out?"

"Oh, my album will be out late 2007," 50 said. "It'll be called Magical Ponies Fo Real."

The host suddenly looked much less intimidated. "Magical Ponies Fo Real? Aren't you worried that your (snicker) more hardcore audience may not appreciate the subject matter?"

"No, see, that's the thing," 50 Cent explained. "See, I've already proven that when I'm trying, I can be real hardcore, more hardcore than everyone else. But on this record, I ain't even trying to be hardcore- I'm singing about these ponies, right? But even so, my record's gonna be even more hardcore than anyone else."

"Right," said the host, plainly trying not to laugh. "What… er… what (chuckle) will the… heehee… cover artwork be? More pictures of you looking intimidating?"

"Nah, man," 50 Cent told him. "It's gonna have me with a big peace sign painted on my vest, riding a pink pony with wings. And we'll be cruising on a sparkly rainbow, and both the pony and I are gonna have do-rags and platinum grills. And there's gonna be flowers everywhere…"

A single laugh barely escaped the host's lips.

"And the first single's gonna be 'Candy Shop, Part Two,'" 50 said. "But this time, it'll actually be about candy, and yummy fudge, and…"

The host keeled over laughing. Knuckles, disgusted, shut off the computer and stood up.

"What about the crime-fighting squad we were going to set up?" Shadow questioned, kicking a hacky-sack around.

"Oh yes," said Sonic. "Well, since I'm always the star of everything, I'll be the commander-in-chief, so-"

"I think I should be in charge this time," said Tails quietly.

Shadow, Knuckles and Sonic looked over at him with tender compassion. How could they have overlooked their small friend for so long? They had overshadowed his accomplishments, repressed his hopes, stifled his-

"Hahahahahahaha!" chuckled Shadow. "Being in charge is male work, Tails. You just wouldn't make it!"

The small fox looked downcast. "Well, guess I'll just be the sidekick with all the wacky inventions…"

"That you will," Knuckles said. "We have to have names, though. I vote that the crime fighting squad will be Knuckles and the Idiots."

"How about Faker and the Intelligent People?" suggested Shadow.

"Good idea," Knuckles said, causing Sonic to go scarlet with anger. "So Faker can have his lucky day after all. Now, we all need names. Sonic here can be the Blundering Wonder…"

"What!" bellowed Sonic. "I will not stand for this! We should just use our regular names and-"

Knuckles socked him in the mouth. "Tails can be the Short Cohort…"

"What's a cohort?" Shadow asked.

A dictionary fell through the ceiling, conveniently opening to the right page. Knuckles brushed plaster off of it (not noticing it had landed on Sonic's head and smashed him through the floorboards) and read.

"Cohort… um, this is pretty long… er… a sidekick," he shortened it up to.

"OK, good," Shadow said. "And I'll be the-"

"Stupid Chef," Sonic finished.

"Why that?" Shadow growled.

"Well, after the guy who played Chef on South Park quit, we need some Chef character," Sonic said. "But the main reason is that one time when you tried to make olive oil smoothies."

"Don't forget the butter-on-pickles hors d'oeuvres," Tails added, shuddering at the memory.

"Let's make a deal," said Shadow craftily. "I'll go by the name Stupid Chef if you go by the name… Grizzly Sweetheart!"

"NO!" roared Sonic, his fists clenching so tightly that his gloves crinkled. "I thought we promised never to bring that up! NEVER!"

"What happened?" questioned Knuckles.

"Well, I was trying to learn hypnotism about a year ago," grinned Shadow, "and I tried it on faker over here. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, I was convincing him that he was deeply in love with a grizzly bear in the forest out back-"

"One thing led to another?" snarled Sonic, frothing at the mouth. "That was entirely intentional!"

Shadow grinned.

"Don't do it! Please!" begged Sonic. "Anything but a flashback!"

Knuckles held Sonic back while Shadow remembered what had happened.

Flashback…

The woodland creatures fled in terror. The bear was running through the woods again, and he was definitely going to eat whoever was unlucky enough to be out in the open. But when the bear stumbled by them without so much as looking at the few of them who could not hide, they became curious. It seemed that today, the bear was the one being chased instead of the one doing the chasing.

Sonic burst out of the trees, holding a massive, lacey Valentine's Day card in one hand and a box of chocolates in the other. His eyes were strangely glazed over, and Shadow, watching from the top of a tree high above, was giving him commands through hypnosis.

"Be mine, my love!" Sonic cried heartbrokenly. "I adore you with every fiber of my being! Have this token of my affection!"

The bear snorted in horror, its eyes widening with fright. It continued to stumble through the undergrowth, the hypnotized hedgehog right after it. The forest animals began to follow, having a good laugh at the bear, while Shadow followed while having a good laugh at Sonic.

End flashback…

After Sonic had finished beating Shadow to within an inch of his life, everyone agreed that Grizzly Sweetheart was not the best choice for a name.

"We'll name him 'Bear Lover' instead!" beamed Knuckles. "Just kidding."

"But that doesn't solve the problem of my name," Shadow objected.

"Right… you can be Menacing Morty," Knuckles grinned. Shadow's eyes narrowed ominously, and just as he was about to rip Knuckles to shreds, Sonic gave him a small chocolate. The issue of his stupid name was totally forgotten as Shadow leaped upon the candy.

"So," Knuckles smiled. "Faker and the Intelligent People- a team consisting of the Blundering Wonder, whose secret identity is Sonic the mild-mannered hedgehog…"

Sonic muttered under his breath.

"Menacing Morty, whose secret identity is Shadow the mildly bad-tempered hedgehog…"

Shadow smoldered with rage, having eaten the chocolate by now.

"The Short Cohort, whose secret identity is Tails the mildly idiotic fox…"

Tails was about to protest, but Sonic pinched him.

"And Knuckles… whose secret identity is Knuckles the Echidna," finished Knuckles gleefully. "Together, we will stop any crime, prevent any disaster, keep any-"

They heard a loud scream from outside.

"Let's go check on it later," everyone said at once.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Fan characters next chapter! But don't send anymore!

Oh yeah, some of you asked about the Friendship thing from Mortal Kombat… OK. Wikipedia says it started in Mortal Kombat II but was also in Mortal Kombat 3. It consisted of doing something friendly to an opponent (autograph, snowman construction, etc.) instead of a Fatality. It was partly meant to mock the parental outcry that resulted with all the intensely gory Fatalities from the previous games. However, to perform a Friendship you would have to meet requirements like never block or only use several moves. There ya go.