Kendall told me he had to go home to change and so I went with Carlos to the auditorium to be early, little did I know, a full hour early. For some reason, Carlos was acting really weird while we were sitting there and I guessed it was because what I was wearing was a little awkward, I mean I never found time to change out of my tinnie-tiny shorts and high converse, and even I had to admit, the glasses were strange on me. I hated them, but being blind wasn't really an option, so here I was, trying to hide my thighs while Carlos kept awkwardly moving from seat to seat. Finally, after ten minutes, I was fed up with the silence and broke the ice.

"Are you okay Carlos," I tried to be gentle, but when he didn't stop moving around, it became increasingly hard, "You're acting really strange." Finally he came to sit next to me, but he still couldn't look me in the eyes.

"I've been thinking a lot lately, and it just feels strange right now to be alone in the same room as you," he said it kind of bitter, but I didn't understand why he was being so cryptic.

"Well, why don't we talk about it so we aren't always so, awkward together, for the rest of our lives. I'm your friend and your best friend's boyfriend, so let's talk about it."

"Fine, I've been thinking a lot about James lately and I wanted to know about him with you. What was your first kiss like? That kind of stuff."I was desperately trying to stifle a giggle, but it was too late because he noticed and glared at me.

"Our first kiss was so. Super. Stiff," I remembered that moment in the car were we just kind of pecked each other's lips, "He kind of told me he loved me even though we just met and then we tried to kiss, but it just didn't feel right. It lasted like five seconds before we agreed to never do it again and then by the next hour, we broke the promise trying it again." That day was a very interesting one for me because James was the hardest thing for me to read. The only sure thing I could say about him after that was that he was really, really gay. Then again, I wasn't someone who could really talk.

"Okay, that was disappointing, but were there any that made you just want to never stop, it felt so good."

"Yeah," he was being honest with me so I decided to be honest with him, "it was right after we got out of the play. I was trying to tell him I loved him and then all of the sudden, he swept me off my feet with this really passionate kiss that made the world just disappear. It was like it could go on forever, and that's when I knew how much he meant to me, because you don't feel that way about someone you don't love."

"Oh"

"But I've answered your question, so it's time to answer mine; James was kind of a flaming homophobic closet case, so why didn't you ever say anything to him. The reason he latched onto me like he did was because when he knew I was gay, he didn't feel lonely anymore. I don't think anything would have made him happier than knowing he wasn't alone before I showed up, so why didn't you do anything."

Carlos looked away grimly before starting, "I kind of always knew James was and to some extent, Kendall, but I never realized it in myself. If I ever thought a boy was good-looking, I just credited it to curiosity and moved on. I really didn't realize that I was attracted to James until the eighth grade when we were working on a project together at his house. He was in a flirty mood that day and I always like when he was flirty because he likes to flatter you when he's feeling frisky," that was one of those very clear memories for me, "but that day, I liked it a little more than flattery. All I could do was just stare at him which he thought was hilarious. I told him it was because I was 'trying to do new hairstyles,' and he bought it, but I knew it was more than that. The best part was, when he walked me home, he kissed me on the cheek before leaving and I'm pretty sure it was just because he was so happy that day, but it meant so much to me. I just layed on my bed, rolling around, thinking about how awesome it would have been if it had went a little farther than my cheek and that's when it all clicked. I was gay and there was absolutely no way around it. The next couple weeks I tried to get myself interested in girls to see if maybe I was wrong, I mean I could be Bi, but nothing, nothing at all. All I could think about was James. So after a long time, I kissed him back on the cheek to show that I kinda liked it and it became our thing; when ever he'd take me home after hanging at his house, he'd kiss me on the cheek and that lasted for a long time, until one day when my mom came home early. He was walking me up to the steps and then he kissed me on the cheek and I blushed really bright, but when I walked into the house and he walked toward his, my mom was standing by the window with her hands across her chest. She just started screaming when she saw my blush and I got really scared.

'My son's a Faggot; he's damned to hell, I'm damned to hell, how could you do this Carlos, how could you do this to your family,'"

The way he was yelling was frighteningly real, but I didn't dare disrupt him because it was so interesting. I always thought that Carlos was genuinely the one afraid of gay people in the group. I kind of thought he was just stupid and fell in love with James out of jealousy, but the story he was telling was so real that It forced me to rethink everything I thought I knew about him.

"I told her that I wasn't gay, that it was just a joke that she didn't understand, but she just wouldn't stop screaming. 'Jesus doesn't love homosexuals Carlos; you can't go to heaven living that lifestyle because it's the greatest sin. You hurt Jesus when you kiss other boys, you hear me, you put another nail in his hand.' It was just all so overwhelming that I broke down and just started crying and she didn't say one single word to me. She walked into the kitchen and I heard her call Mrs. Diamond:

'I saw your son kiss mine and I just want to say, I don't know how you are raising that kid, but this won't be happening ever again.' Then buzzing

'Well, Mrs. Diamond, I'm sorry for breaking the news to you, but I agree, maybe it's best if we do separate our boys for a little while until they get over this whole, thing, that they do.' More fucking Buzzing.

'Thank you, have a nice day too. Peace of Christ.' She turned around to me before grabbing my arm and forcing me to go up the stairs, 'Now go in your room and think about what you've done and we'll talk about it when your father gets home.'

I was scared when I was just sitting in my room, but I made the decision to come out to my father and just face the consequences, but that wasn't as easy as it sounded. 'Carlos Garcia, how the hell are you going to get any were in life if you're a mooching homo. You can't just depend on everyone else because you're making a lifestyle decision. You're straight Carlos, hear that. You are straight and that's that. Got it.'

And then I told my dad to fuck off and that I liked other men and there was nothing wrong with that and then for some reason, I decided to add that there was no god. My mom just sat on the couch crying, but my dad stood up and got in my face. 'I don't know what's gotten into you, but it's leaving. You are my straight son and you will get married to a WOMAN and have lots of kids with her and one day, you'll look back on all this and laugh. Hear that. You will laugh at how ridiculous you're being.'

So then I said something to the affect of, 'I can't have kids if I'M THE WOMAN in the relationship' and then he slapped me across the face hard. My dad was a cop, so he knew how to make things hurt and I'd never felt pain like that before. I fell on the floor and they both just left the room and I slept on the floor that night. That was one of the worst nights of my life. The next week they transferred me to a different, Christian school and I stayed there for my whole ninth grade year, hardening myself to the world. I decided that I could never be out in this town and if I couldn't then no one else could, so that's when I started to beat kids up for being 'too gay.' When my parents saw that, they were so happy they let me go back to my old school with Kendall and James, but being around them didn't make a big difference. Instead, we all started beating kids up together cause we were so bitter about not being ourselves. James was the only one who ever felt bad after it and we knew why. We always knew why, but it was forbidden to talk about. Then you showed up in that soda shop with Camille and you had the confrontation and all James could do was stare at you. He couldn't take his damn eyes off of you and that upset me because he used to look at me like that. Like I was the only thing that mattered in the world and so I made a decision. You'd go away like all the rest. So I got everyone, except James, riled up to go beat the shit out of you and when we did, it felt really good. It felt good to eliminate competition, especially competition as beautiful as you, but James just wouldn't get into it and it upset me more, but when he said he was going to, rape, you, I knew it was over. I knew he wasn't going to hurt you one bit and that's when I knew our weird relationship was over, and I hated you more. Every moment he would talk about you, I hated you. I hated you down to the pit of my stomach. I just wanted you gone and then I saw how Kendall watched you too. And I formed a plan. If I could get Kendall to go after you, then I could have my James back without saying the forbidden words and so, that's when I spiked the punch you were going for at the party. I told Kendall that the best way to make you his was to start off with sex and build a relationship from there and he believed me. He'd had a boyfriend before and he still freakin believed me he was so blinded by you." He swallowed really hard, obviously not wanting to say what he had to say next, but I had to know.

"So, what the hell happened next," I asked, curious as to know why Carlos was having trouble getting it out.

"I was the one who took the picture of the blow-job you were giving Kendall cause I thought by outing you and Kendall as a couple, James would get mad and be over you."

This time I swallowed hard before going, "Oh," and looking at the ground. I don't think I could face Carlos right now.

"I'm really sorry about that, by the way, but it was a heat of the moment thing and I was so upset at the time and of course, the plan backfired. For some reason, it made James love you that much more and I just gave up and stopped looking. When he came out to make you happy, I just cried. I cried because he never loved me enough to try to find me. To come out for me. He never offered to take me away like he did with you. He never took me away on lavish trips or sang to me. I was just the boy he could kiss on the cheek at the end of the day. And that pain forced me to just want to go away and never look back. Then I got a call and everything changed. Kendall came back to town and I saw my chance again. Little did I know what would happen that night. One of my biggest regrets is not being there to save James from what was happening, but it's too late for that right now. And I blamed you for it all at first. It took me a really long time to see that this wasn't on you, but on me. That when I said 'hate's okay' by doing the same thing they did, I was making things worse and that's when I officially came out to the town, but you already know that. You've seen the rest and you have happiness again, but I don't and that's the last question I want to ask. Will I ever be happy again?"

I still couldn't look at him, but it'd be cruel not to answer, so I started, "It takes a long time because your heart feels like a million pieces of glass that don't fit right. But one day, you find the right person and you feel that glass come together again. It'll never be completely the same for you. There are times were things won't feel right, but you'll be happy. And maybe you'll move on, because honestly, I haven't fully yet." He smiled a little before coming up and hugging me. It was an awkward hug, but it felt good to really get to know Carlos. Carlos made me realize something; that for all of my bitterness about all that's happened to me, I was very lucky. My parents always excepted me, even if they didn't want too, but he wasn't that lucky. And I saw that he needed to get out of here just as much as I did, so I made the decision that day that he was a true friend. And he was a great one at that. This would strengthen our friendship, but then the doors swung open and Jenny flitted into the room with a giant box in one hand and a giant bag in the other and I knew the moment was over. Great while it lasted though.

"Oh my goodness Logan, you still look incredible," she smiled a little; "I really should be a designer shouldn't I."

Then a familiar voice rang out from behind me, "Yeah, you should," Jenny clapped after hearing Jo say it and Carlos ran down to help her, but I was so frickin excited that Jo WAS BACK. Again. "Hey Bambi, I thought we were over with the whole androgyny thing."

"Yeah, I did too before the football team ruined my outfit today."

"And you didn't have a spare at all; that's just foolish."

"Ha. Ha. It wasn't funny."

"What, Dak likes you that much."

"Oh, Dak, yeah I won't be dealing with him ever again."

"And why would that be Bam Bam."

"Tell you about it later, but now, I have to faun over you." Jo had a new haircut; shoulder length, platinum color with a bang. She looked amazing.

"I knew you'd love it, but you have a play tonight Glasses," and with that, we raced down the stairs to the dressing room.

Author's Note: I felt like I needed a chapter to focus on Carlos more and here it is, so for anyone wondering about how he felt through all of this, enjoy. But, since we're so close to the end, I'll give you a hint, Carlos finds someone after all. I know it kind of ends abrupty, but JO's back officially. Yay! Luv Ya. XoXo.