Sonic Insanity

Here's the fan character chappie! I can't include them all right away, so bear with me. I won't list which ones are used- figure them out yourself!

Also, I have some news. I'm going to a wedding on Friday and I won't be back for my usual update time. However, as soon as I get back I'll update. So, don't get upset if I take a little longer to update. I should be able to update in 7 to 8 days instead of my usual 5.

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It was a sunny day in Sonic's sixth-grade classroom. Shadow was busy writing his memoirs in the corner, weeping very noisily every few seconds and narrating it out loud at the top of his voice. The teacher did not seem to notice. Sonic, who was trying to concentrate on taking notes (which Shadow wasn't doing) was slowly getting angry. Finally, he snapped.

"Teacher?" he asked.

"Sonic! What have I told you about talking in class?" the teacher growled.

"…that shifty-eyed dog was so precious to me!" sobbed Shadow very loudly. "Why, Basil? Why'd you have to leave me?" He began to scream with anguish, noisily ripping pieces of paper and gnashing his teeth. "WHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?" he bellowed as loud as he could, directly in Sonic's ear.

"Teacher!" Sonic asked.

"Sonic, stop disrupting class!" said the teacher angrily. "It'll be a detention next time!" She winked at Shadow, who winked back and continued screaming.

Sonic fumed. So they were in this together! Of all the nerve… he glanced over to see what he could do. He could do the rest of his studying at home. Nearby, Tomo the Chameleon and Knuckles were passing notes back and forth. Sonic began to burn with curiosity. Quickly putting out the fires all over his body, (he was 'burning' with curiosity, get it? Har de har har har…) Sonic quickly intercepted one of the notes that Knuckles had passed to Tomo. He read it. It said:

Back in Kansas those chickens took all the snowbound times from days forgotten by the citrus illustrations

of Sonic's dairy farms.

Sonic was confused, to say the least. "Knuckles, this makes no sense! What does it mean?"

"Oh, pardon my metaphorical language," grinned Knuckles, elbowing Sonic in the ribs and not stopping. "You see, since Tomo and I are so united against you, we've developed a code to criticize you so we won't get in trouble!"

"Not that we would, anyway, since the teacher is paying us to do it," Tomo smirked, carving a pattern on her desk with her samurai sword. Nearby, Espio watched angrily.

Sonic, however, was even more angry. Knuckles was now elbowing him in the ribs with the force of a jackhammer. Eventually he got so angry that he picked up Knuckles and…

"Darn, it was just a dream," Sonic sighed, waking up. Since it had been late at night, they had decided to fight crime in the morning. He might as well set a good example by going down to the Batcave… er, the basement, and getting his costume on. Fortunately it wasn't anything too ridiculous. Sonic slid down the long fire pole that would take him down to the basement. It ended a good three feet over the floor, and Sonic fell in a costumed heap.

"Ready to go?" inquired Knuckles, who was standing by their crime-fighting car (of course) along with Tails and Shadow.

Very disgruntled, Sonic took the wheel and they drove off.

"Well, what do we do now?" asked Tails as they coasted by a bank robbery. "Should we just look for crimes?"

"Let's monitor the police scanner," Sonic said. "You just have to put your radio to the right frequency…" He reached for the radio, but Knuckles slapped his hand away and turned the radio to a rap station.

"KNUCKLES!" bellowed Sonic. "We're supposed to be looking for crime!"

"Screw that, Snoop Dogg's the man!" said Knuckles proudly, jamming to the beats.

Shadow and Tails managed to restrain Knuckles while Sonic adjusted the radio. Something fuzzy came through.

"…and this is shaping up to be one exciting round of Pick Daddy, folks. Rouge is in the lead with a straight flush, but now John Paul's coming up the circuit…"

"She's with another MAN?" Knuckles' face turned purple.

"No one ever said that," said Tails, wondering what Pick Daddy was and hoping to try it with Cream some time. "Turn it again, Sonic."

Sonic fiddled with the radio.

"…and in other news, there's been a robbery at the general store just down the street…"

"Guys! Here's a crime we can investigate!" Shadow cried.

"Just kidding!" the radioman said grandly. "But, the bank has been robbed, and the getaway car is cruising up Shadow's Mom Avenue with three cop cars in pursuit…"

"Let's get them!" Sonic bellowed, ignoring Shadow's splutters of rage. He gunned the engine and drove up to the car. Tails used some sort of binoculars that had no way of working in real life to identify the people in the car.

"Bob the Tortoise," Tails reported. "Not that bright, somewhat easily confused… hates me, just like everyone else… sigh…"

"Who else?" Knuckles asked.

"Um… Edda 'Ed' the Squirrel, makes good pizza, occasionally throws people as weapons…"

"I had a trademark on that!" shouted Sonic, reaching out the window, grabbing a pedestrian and throwing it at the car ahead of them.

"…and he admires me!" Tails announced.

"So why are these people working together?" Shadow wondered.

"Well, Bob's probably trying to lure Tails into a trap, and Ed wants to steal his flying machines," Sonic concluded. "But why rob the bank, then?"

"Um… maybe they needed a lot of money in order to buy Tails' mom-" began Shadow.

"MY MOM IS A SAINT!" roared Tails. "HOW DARE YOU INSULT-"

"-for her services as a cook," finished Shadow. "Then, they'd hold her for ransom from Tails!"

"Too much talk! I want to shoot something!' snarled Sonic. He pulled out a gun and tried to steer one-handed, firing endlessly out of the car. Although he never hit the robbers' car, he did seriously injure a good 300 people and pumped bullets into buildings everywhere.

"I'm bored, think I'll step out for some fresh air," Knuckles announced, getting out of the moving car. As the car zoomed past, the door came off in his hand. Knuckles was left in the dust, holding the door. He suddenly had an idea.

Knuckles ran as fast as he could after both cars and flung the car door at Sonic's car. It exploded in a huge fiery ball, sending a tiny grain of gravel into the exhaust pipe of Ed and Bob's getaway car. Their car choked and sputtered and pulled to a stop, where the police caught it.

"A well-won victory," Knuckles said hopefully as a burnt, furious-looking Sonic advanced on him.

"Victory! Victory?" howled Sonic. "What an idiot you are!"

"Fat, am I?" snarled Knuckles, looking furious.

"Um… I didn't say that," said Sonic, temporarily losing momentum. "But, you completely destroyed our car and only mildly damaged theirs, and the cops caught them anyway! Now, not only have we made no captures, but we have no car!"

"We could use my pimp car," suggested Knuckles. "By that I mean, my hookers and I sit in the car, and you all wear roller skates and hold on to the back bumper."

"NO!" hollered Sonic. He bent his legs to jump at Knuckles, and a blast of energy whizzed over his head. "What the…"

"Curses!" muttered Molly the Mouse, seated on top of a building. "Well, another try, then… there's no way he can escape my spells! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Get her!" hollered Knuckles, all anger towards Sonic forgotten. He picked up Sonic and threw him on top of the building, where he easily tracked down Molly and brought her to the police.

"She tried to kill me, officer," he explained angrily, clutching Molly by the throat.

"What? No I didn't!" Molly said.

"Yes she did!" howled Sonic. "She cast a spell at me! It hit the ground over there!" He pointed to the large scorch mark on the ground.

"Oh, I see," said the police officer, winking at Molly. "Well, turn her over to us, and we'll decide the punishment."

Sonic, who was very tired of all this corruption, picked up Molly and threw her into the distance like a football. Immediately he was surrounded by police officers with guns.

"Knuckles, help me out here!" he demanded.

"Who is this guy?" asked Knuckles to Shadow.

"No clue," Shadow said. "Throw this criminal in jail, officers."

"I'm your friend! You share my house!" Sonic roared.

"Uh, I have no clue what you're talking about," said Knuckles, covering Tails' mouth with his hand.

Ten minutes later, Sonic was in jail.

How great, he mused bitterly. His friends had betrayed him! Now he had no hope of getting out, unless someone paid his bail. Knowing Amy, she probably would. Feeling a little better, Sonic sat down. Then he realized that the restraining order meant that Amy couldn't pay for him. Sonic put his head in his hands.

"What are you doing?" asked a dry voice.

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I put in as many fan characters as I could: Ed, submitted by AgodofIrony, Tomo, submitted by Chaotix Extremist, Bob, submitted by Cheesemonger, and Molly, submitted by molly-mouse616. That's only 4 out of many... but I'm working on it. Please review!