I'm sorry this took so long. I had to decide wether to stop and wrap-up, or make this much, much longer. I opted for wrapping up. That being said, I have decided that these two have more story to tell. So as soon as I'm finished with a little juicy Rosalie & Emmett novella called, "Shop Woman," I'm coming back for round two... so please make sure I'm on your author alert!

Thanks to HollettLA & TheOtherBella, for dealing with my indecisions and helping come to the right one. That and of course, wrangling all my commas, word usage, and general grade school mistakes.

As some of you figured, this almost the end. One more chapter after this, then a short epilogue.

James is in this chapter. I just want to say this: He doesn't rape, kidnap, molest, torture, kill, maim, injure, or so much as touch Bella... so no stressing!

I don't own, I just play.

Chapter 21, Fresh Start

BPOV

My heart broke and re-mended itself many times over during our conversation that night. He told me about shutting down. He told me he called his mother out of desperation. He told me that somewhere deep inside, he realized he could no longer push away what precious little family he had left. He told me that it was because of me that he was able to understand that. Even if we had stayed away from each other forever after our fall-out, he would have always been grateful that for that.

When his mother arrived, he told her everything. To his surprise, she sat and listened and took everything in. There were no comments, just the sound of his own voice. When he was done, she had tears in her eyes. He didn't understand at first, but she was simply overwhelmed; overwhelmed that he called, overwhelmed that he opened up, and especially overwhelmed that he found love. She admitted, with shame, that she never thought love was possible for him.

Esme wound up staying with Edward for nearly a month. In that time, Esme had single- handedly redone the entire apartment. She was sure that through the power of interior design, Edward's life would somehow, magically, fall into place. It wasn't quite that dramatic, but even Edward had to admit that something about having a space that was so "him," made him more at ease. I admitted, in turn, that I was ashamed that it hadn't been me to help him claim his own domain.

"It was really good to see her again. I needed her and she was there no questions asked. We still have shit we need to work on. As for my father… I can't go there yet."

"Why is it so much harder to face your father than your mother?"

"I wanted to be him. He had it all. He was handsome, successful; he had the beautiful wife, the wonderful house. I wanted people to look up at me like they did him. I wanted to save lives because that's what he did."

"He was your hero."

"Ya, he was. When everything went down the way it did, the image shattered for me. I felt so fucking betrayed by him. He was supposed to be perfect."

"No one's perfect."

"Had to learn that the hard way."

"I want to tell you something that I've never been able to admit out loud before now."

He looked at me expectantly.

"I ran away from Santa Fe. I ran away from the pain and the anger. I never faced it, not once. Everyone around me was so awed of my 'bravery.' It was bullshit. I just simply couldn't deal. I couldn't look at the desert and not see her. I couldn't pass a shoe store and not think about the sandals we bought there together. So I ran. I ran as far away as I could."

"Why New York?"

"No awe inspiring sunsets, no vast spaces, no dried chilies in the shop windows. Complete anonymity. There isn't a brave bone in my body, Edward. I run, hide, and shut down when things get bad."

"That's bullshit."

"No, it's not."

"How many people do you think have the balls to stand up to me?"

"Alice does."

"Alice is from Mars and we all know it."

I couldn't help but smile. I thought I was the only one who knew her dirty little secret.

"Edward, I stood up to you because I was fed up with myself and my life."

"How the hell does that make a difference? You said it yourself - you never let me win. You stood your ground and you wouldn't let me be a coward. That was brave, Bella. Not to mention you came here after finding out that I'm a head case. Nothing stopped you. Not the ghosts, not the scars, not my sparkling personality."

"I just wanted a change."

"You just don't see yourself, do you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think you're beautiful?"

"I have my moments. I know I'm pretty."

"No. No moments... always. You're always beautiful, even puffy-eyed with a dripping nose."

I blushed.

"There are mere handfuls of women, maybe fewer, who would have had the patience and determination you have when it comes to me. I'll never take that for granted."

"Well, we're a perfect match because you don't see yourself, either."

"Oh, please, Bella," he answered sarcastically.

"You're strong. You have this indefinable sex appeal that makes me weak-kneed. You're generous to a fault. You're faithful, smart, and there are mere handfuls of men, maybe fewer, who have the heart and patience to deal with my issues. I'll never take you for granted either... never again, that is."

After a moment of heavy silence, he broke the tension.

"Hungry? I could really go for some Dan Dan Noodles."

"What?"

"About a week after I got back from Santa Fe, I had Alice get me Dan Dan Noodles. Silly, right? I just wanted whatever I could have of you. You said once you loved them, so..."

"If possible, I just fell a little more in love with you."

"Get ready to shout my name from the rooftops, then."

He picked up the phone, dialed a number by heart, and started speaking Chinese! When he hung up, he looked incredibly smug.

"What just happened here?" I said with a goofy smile on my face.

"I kind of became obsessed with those damn noodles after that first time. Alice was getting annoyed about constantly going down to Chinatown, so she had a little talk with the Chinese place a few blocks away. It's not Big Wong's, but if you've got a hankering, it does the trick."

"Are you telling me that anytime I want, I could have you order me a container of Dan Dan? Not to mention I get to hear you speak Chinese too, which, oddly, was a turn on?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying." he said proudly.

"Will you excuse me, please?"

I walked thorough the kitchen, down the hall, past bedrooms, the dining room, the living room, and through the French doors, until I was on the balcony overlooking the city. I could hear Edward behind me. I spread my arms out wide, tilted my head back and yelled at the top of lungs.

"I love Edward Masen!"

I could hear him laughing behind me. It was a wonderful sound.

"It's Cullen, remember?" he said quietly.

I turned around to find him smirking at me.

"To me, you're Cullen, but to the world, you're Masen. I won't ever betray that."

"Can I kiss you?" he asked as earnestly as he had the first time we kissed.

"Yes."

Unlike our first chaste kiss though, this one was slow and confident. There was heat and want, but also reverence in that kiss. When his arms wound around my body after, I let him hold me to him. We rocked and swayed together, following some mutually felt, yet inaudible, beat.

"Food will be here soon."

"That's the only thing that could break me away from you right now."

He snorted.

"Not sure if I should be touched or insulted."

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Edward ran off to the door, leaving me on the balcony to marvel at the new plants, new chairs, tables, couches, and fire pit. Esme was amazing; I couldn't wait to meet her. I shook my head... I was thinking of Edward's and my future again. I never would have thought it, either. Just hours before I was contemplating moving back to Santa Fe, leaving New York and Edward forever. What a difference one Polish grandmother made. I would never be able to repay her. I'd try though. In my head a saw a delicate silver and white pearl necklace, maybe a hand hammered cross at the nape. Something simple, elegant, and incredibly beautiful, just like her. I knew I had the pearls, I was pretty sure there was a strand at the workshop... the cross, well I could have that made, or maybe Sue could find one for me...

"Bella, its cold out here."

"Hmm?" I was picturing a particularly elaborate silver clasp that I had been saving for something special...

"Bella?"

"Ya?"

"Noodles, Bella."

"Noodles? Oh! Noodles! Yes, let's eat!"

"Where were you?" he asked as he led me off the balcony.

"Just picturing the necklace I'll be making for Lydia. You're not still angry at her are you?"

"Not exactly angry, no."

"She did the right thing. I know it seems like she betrayed you, but it was what I needed to hear."

"I know that. It still stings."

"Fair enough."

"But don't worry, she still has a job. She's too... important."

"I completely agree."

In the kitchen, two large bowls were filled to the brim with broth, noodles, and other goodies. A pair of chopsticks and a bottle of Tsingtao were waiting for me too. We sat across from each other and slurped and sipped our meal in silence. We didn't need small talk anymore. We were way past that. I knew we were going to be okay when I realized that our combined silence wasn't uncomfortable anymore.

I went to my apartment that night. He didn't kick me out or anything, but I didn't think either of us was ready for that much intimacy just yet. Things between Edward and I were mending. We were slowly learning about ourselves again. We were also learning what it meant to be "us" again. We hadn't gotten past hugs and kisses and I was fine with that. It was what we needed. We needed slow and steady. We needed calm and easy and that's exactly what we were giving each other.

Although things with Edward were getting better, I was in an odd place. I had quit my job. Although things with Rosie's, Alice's, and my business were warming up, it wasn't hot enough for me to be financially stable. I was paying for rent, electricity, food, and everything else with a small bank account and things were getting sticky. I was going to need a part-time job and that just sucked. I loved having the time to work on my jewelry and the business. I loved doing what I wanted when I wanted. I really loved not being around horny delivery guys all day, too. Although, I did miss seeing Jake every day.

Jake started to com to the occasional Sunday brunch with the girls. They loved him, of course. It was pretty hard not to. It turned out that Jake was thinking about getting out of the delivery business. It was a kid's sport and while there were guys who forced themselves to continue into their 40's, at 33, he was tired of the traffic, crashes, and idiot losers he worked with. On top of that, he and his current boyfriend, Seth, a High School drama teacher, were getting serious. Seth hated the idea of Jake hurling his body through NYC traffic everyday, too. I didn't blame him, I'd heard of one too many dislocated bones in my years at the dispatch office. Not really having anything other than a strong body and a pretty face, Jake had decided to become a personal trainer. It was perfect for him.

All around me loose ends were being tied up. Emmett and Rosie were moving in with each other and were looking for the perfect place. Alice and Jasper had decided on getting married the way they wanted to and having a large party for all of their family and friends after the fact. The wedding was going to be on Edward's balcony. There were going to be 20 people, only the closest friends and family. That Edward had agreed was a surprise to me, but knowing Alice, she had used some sort of Jedi mind trick on him. Come May 28th, there would be flowers, a caterer, a red carpet, a justice of the peace, and table and chairs set up for the event. Alice was all atwitter with planning. She was having her dress made and Rosie and I were scheduled for a massive shopping trip to find our bridesmaid dresses the second weekend in May.

It was great to see the world around me settle and ease into happiness. I was getting there, too, but there were still so many balls up in the air, I got stressed at times. I tried my damnedest not to take it out on Edward, but he always seemed to know exactly when I needed some ice cream to settle my nerves. I was going to need Jake's services by the time my own life had figured itself out. There were one too many pints of Ben and Jerry sitting on my thighs.

It had been just about seven weeks since Edward and I had made-up when I walked into the Starbucks in Chelsea. I was showing a new boutique Rosie's and my latest collection. It had gone well and I was craving an iced mocha as a treat for a job well done.

"I'll take a Venti Latte and put them both on this card, please. Thanks." Said a man's voice behind me.

I turned around to see a handsome, tall, blonde guy who looked familiar. I couldn't place him, though.

"I'll give you a hint," he said as he winked at me.

"Okay..."

He quietly sang, "Jem is truly outrageous, truly, truly, truly outrageous."

"Oh my god! Robin Hood! Umm... James! Right?"

"You got it, Bella."

"Wow. How did you recognize me without - "

He cut me off, "Without the stilettos, tiny dress, and makeup?"

I rolled my eyes. "Right. I'm just Clark Kent today."

"Don't you mean Jerrica Benton?"

"Okay, now I'm impressed. How on earth do you know that Jem is Jerrica's alter-ego?"

"Three older sisters."

"Ahh, well that explains it."

"VENTI AND AN ICED MOCHA!" yelled one of the baristas.

James went to grab the drinks and took them to a table.

"You have a minute, right?"

"Umm, yes, I suppose. Will you let me pay you back for the mocha, though?"

"Nope."

"Didn't think so."

"So, Jem," he smiled, "what have you been up to? And please tell me the boyfriend is gone?"

If he weren't so easy and charming, I would have flipped him the bird and walked out with my mocha. I just didn't have the heart to be rude to the guy, though.

"My friends and I started an accessories company and Edward is still around. Very much so, in fact."

"Well, I'm not going to pretend I'm happy about that, but congrats on the biz."

"Thanks... I think."

He laughed easily.

"You're welcome. I'm not used to being turned down."

"Hmm. Listen, not to be rude or anything... but you're wearing an expensive suit, you have a briefcase, and you're probably a lawyer or something. I'm not exactly Jackie O over here."

"Funny, too. Damn. Wish I'd found you first. This Edward is a lucky bastard."

I simply waited for his response. I was curious. I wasn't straight-laced or conservative. Must have had something to do with the twenty shades of red and orange in my hair.

"I'm not a lawyer. I run my own hedge fund. Don't let the suit fool you, either. There's a full chest piece under this shirt. I own a Harley, not to mention a few other toys. I like redheads. I also like curves. Plus, I'm a sucker for brown eyes."

"Careful, you're about to overstep your bounds."

"Sorry, really. I don't like the word 'no'. I respect it, but I really don't like it. Listen, I'm a good guy, I'm just cocky as hell and, when I see something I like, I do everything I can to get it."

"Well, you can't get me. I'm taken. But I'll keep an eye out for any curvy redheads, I promise."

"Thanks. Here take my card. I'm not being a dick, promise. If you need some help with the new business, let me know, okay? It's the least I can do for coming on as strong as I did."

"That's decent of you, James, thanks. I'll be sure to send any future curvy redheads your way."

"Deal."

As a friendly gesture, he put out his hand. I put mine out in return and we shook. After that, we took our cups and went out separate ways. I didn't think I'd ever be able to handle someone that cock-sure, but I could see why women would flock to him. I knew why he was never turned down.

My little run-in with James was just the confidence boost I needed to run over to Edward's and kiss him. The closer I got, though, the more I wanted. Kissing just wasn't going to be enough.

EPOV

One moment my life was pointless, the next I couldn't help but smile. It didn't matter how annoyed or angry or sad I was, because she was right. She fought for us every time. All I ever did was try to sabotage and try to make up for my mistakes. She knew everything. All of my disturbing little secrets and even so, she still wouldn't give up. In fact, she came and fought for us again because of those secrets. I had no illusions that life would be perfectly smooth, but I knew we'd never be running away from each other again.

It was late afternoon when I heard her walking through the apartment. I knew the rhythm of her steps. I could see her hips moving with every foot fall. Alice's steps were quick and light, as if she was always late for something. Lydia moved slower, with a heavier sound. But Bella sauntered and swayed as she moved. I was on the phone, but I knew she was about to walk through my office door. She still had her keys after all that time apart. She was finally learning to use them, too. No more bell ringing. It was like she belonged there, which she did.

"It's generous, yes, but two point five would be more generous."

She stepped into the doorway, saw me on the phone, and mouthed if she could enter. I waved her in and she sauntered and swayed to the chair across from me and sat down. There was something I had wanted to ask her since before we left for Santa Fe. It was a long time coming, but I was still tripping over my own words. Things had been great, we were moving slowly and I didn't want her to think I was jumping into something too quickly.

"Of course you can write it off, Lenny. Right... I understand... so we have a deal...? Two point five...?"

I wanted her with me every morning though. I knew we hadn't been together since we made up, but I didn't care if took another three or four months. Just having her with me every night and every morning was going to be enough for me. For the life of me though, I couldn't figure out how to bring it up without feeling stupid or coming across as desperate.

"Great. I'll let them know they can expect the transfer sometime this week... You too... Talk soon, Lenny."

I hung up, rolled over to her in my chair, leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"Afternoon, beautiful. How did the meeting go?"

"Pretty good I think. I won't hold my breath, but they seemed impressed by what I showed them."

"They should be impressed, you and Rose are amazing."

"Aww shucks, mister."

I took her hands in mine.

"So, not that I'm complaining, but why the visit?"

"Well, I had an interesting afternoon and it made me realize that... umm... I..."

"You're not usually this nervous... what's going on?"

Instead of answering, she stood up and sat back down on my lap.

"I miss you."

"I'm right here."

"No, I missyou."

To further explain her point, she laid a searing kiss on me, biting my bottom lip as she pulled away.

"Wow."

She giggled.

I pulled her to me, licked my lips, and kissed her like I had wanted to for the past week. As we were making out I couldn't help but wonder what in her "interesting" afternoon was spurring her actions.

"Beautiful?" I said between kisses.

"Yes?"

"What happened this afternoon?"

She pulled away in order to speak.

"Remember Halloween?"

"How can I forget? It was one of the hottest nights of my life," I admitted. My dick seemed to remember, too. It was getting hard at the memory; Bella's radiating heat on my lap didn't hurt, either.

"Mine, too." She admitted. "Remember that guy, James?"

"James?" I asked, trying very hard to concentrate on her words as all the blood was leaving my brain to travel much further south.

"Robin Hood."

"That douche-bag in tights?"

She laughed a little, "Ya, okay, that douche-bag in tights."

"What about him?" I asked, my attention slipping.

"I ran into him at the Starbucks I went to after my meeting. He paid for my mocha."

That's what Bella said. What my blood-drained, Neanderthal brain heard was "An unmarried, good looking guy - without issues - who finds my woman hot, paid for her coffee and tried to take her away from me."

She continued from there. "I told him we were still together and he respected that. But... can I be honest?"

NO! FUCK NO!"Yes." I said much more calmly than I felt.

"Knowing that he still liked what he saw... well, it kind of gave me the confidence I needed to come here and straddle you."

"I wasn't enough?" I asked half jokingly, also half insulted. I had to remind myself to NOT jump to conclusions. It never ended well for us.

"You're more than enough, it just took a little push for me to think I was enough again."

"Fuck that."

I pushed my groin up, rubbing against her crotch. She was wearing a pair of dress pants, conveniently thinner than jeans.

She gasped.

"You feel that?"

"God, yes!"

"That's what you do to me, Bella. Always. I'll always want you. I'll always want to pummel any guy who looks at you... or, for fuck's sake, buys you a goddamn mocha." I said grinding into her.

"It was nothing... I brushed him off. You know it's only you..."

"I know it, but he didn't. I trust you, it every other man on the planet I don't trust."

"I should be turned off by the macho shit," she said more to herself than me.

It wasn't the way I wanted to ask - horny, hard, and desperate for her to be naked - but we had never been "correct" or "normal."

She was unbuttoning her white shirt. I hadn't seen so much as her bra strap in over a month. It was damn fucking distracting, but I needed to say it before I lost my nerve. With her fingers about to reveal her amazing fucking tits to me, I blurted it out.

"Move in with me."

"What?" she asked. Her fingers stopping in mid-unbuttoning.

"I wanted to ask before Santa Fe but I didn't want to overwhelm you. Good job, huh?"

She seemed stuck, frozen. My body seemed to realize that my brain needed blood again and my dick softened.

"I want you with me all the time. I want to wake up to you everyday."

She looked panicked.

"Breathe, Bella, please."

She took in a gulp of air.

"Why now?" she asked.

"I like knowing that no matter how many men want you, it's me you'd come home to. Also, nothing in this world makes me feel as good as you do."

"Shit."

"I'm sorry, this isn't how I wanted to ask. Actually, I didn't know how to ask... but it wasn't like this," I rambled.

She stood up with her back facing me and took a few steps.

"Christ, Bella, I shouldn't have said anything. Listen, we can take this slower. But I'm not sorry I asked. I want you out of that shitty apartment that you pay too much for. I don't like knowing that there are only a couple of flimsy locks keeping you safe. Let me take care of you a little, okay? I just want to keep you with me."

There was no answer from her, but when her blouse fell to the floor and she turned around in a flesh-toned bra, her nipples poking through the thin, almost see-thru fabric, my dick was hard in a second.

"Okay."

"Okay?" I asked, blood pumping between thighs.

"My lease is up in August, I can move then."

"Fuck that. Tomorrow."

"What about my lease?"

"Consider that shit paid."

"I can't let you..."

I cut her off. "Yes, you fucking can. Now come here."

She sauntered back over to me. I grabbed her hips, pulled her close, and took a hardened, covered nipple into my mouth. The sound she made had me growling. Her hands went to my hair, which was much longer than it had been in years. She grabbed and tugged a little. It felt fucking amazing. My hands traveled up the curve of her hip, past her waist, and up the expanse of her back. When I felt the clasp of her bra, I fumbled - it had been a while. Soon enough though, it was unhooked. I bit down on her nipple gently, pulled on the fabric with my teeth, tugging. She spread her arms and let me pull away the sheer fabric from her body completely.

Hard, dark pink tips surrounded by creamy, round flesh met my eyes.

"Let's go."

"Where?"

"The bed. I'm not going to make love to you for the first time in months in my office."

"Office first, then bed."

To prove her point, she walked to my desk, pushed aside all the loose paper and random pens, and then sat on it, waiting for me. It was like a cheap porno, but ask me if I cared? She was pulling off her shoes while I pulled off my shirt. She unbuttoned her pants while I unzipped my jeans. I pulled my pants off while she shimmied out of hers. When her pants fell away, she was left in a pair of sheer black pantyhose, a pair of black panties beneath. She looked so wicked, so positively delicious there.

I pulled my boxers down with my jeans and stepped out of them; my ever growing hard-on sprang free. I couldn't help but grab my length and pump it while staring at her. What was it about nylons on a woman that was so outrageously sexy? She bit her bottom lip while staring at my hand work over my dick. When her hand dipped beneath her hose and beneath her panties, I thought I'd lose it.

I won't lie. I'd had hundreds of fantasies of what it would be like to be with my Bella again when we got back together weeks before. I thought of sweet things, slow things, and gentle things. Standing there watching her touch herself beneath her lingerie while I jerked myself off... there were nothing but hard, fast, and desperate things flashing before me.

First on the list? I wanted Bella's taste in my mouth. It had been too long. Taking a pillow from the chair and placing it front of Bella, I sank to the floor. She moved her hand in anticipation.

"Don't you fucking dare. Keep touching yourself, beautiful."

She threw her head back and moaned at my words. I kneeled before her. I wanted her in those fucking hose for as long as I could keep them on her. So I did the only thing I could think of. I grabbed at the nylon by her crotch, ripped it with my fingers, reveling in the pure heat that met my knuckles. With shaking fingers, I pulled aside the simple black fabric of her panties to expose her pointer finger, working at her own nub.

I wanted to lick her. I wanted to suck on her until she begged me not to. But being that close to her heat, to her smell... it had been too long and I wouldn't last. I stood up, pushed her further back onto the desk, barked at her to move her hand, then in one swift, forceful move, I pushed myself into her. I growled. She gasped and whimpered. She was so fucking tight after so much time without my dick. I actually had to think about stock prices to get myself under control.

When I felt her squirm around me, her hips and ass wiggling beneath me, I pulled out and slammed back into her to still her body. I did it again, savoring the absolutely wanton sounds coming from her mouth. The fabric of her panties rubbed against my shaft; the elastic didn't care how gently it scraped my flesh. The feeling was intense.

Bella grabbed her tits and squeezed, letting her fingers dig into the softness there. When she hissed from the pain, I doubled my efforts. Faster, harder, faster, harder.

"Fucking come for me, Bella."

Her hand flew to her pussy. Pushing aside various fabrics, she let her finger continue what it started. Lubricating her finger with whatever slickness was on my shaft, she rubbed. I was ready to fucking pop, but I wouldn't, not until she did. It didn't take long. We were both wound so tight. She cursed and convulsed as her orgasm hit her. She arched her back, her tits thrusting toward the ceiling. With a roar, I came hard and quickly.

When I knew I could stand straight and my legs weren't shaking anymore, I pulled out. I took a few deep breaths before I scooped Bella up. Her arms found their way around my neck and all was right with my world.

When we reached the bathroom, I set her on the counter. She winced from the cold marble but adjusted. As she peeled the stockings and panties from her body, I put on every shower head and let the room steam up. When I felt a small, soft body hug me from behind, I turned around in her arms and bent down to kiss her. I gently walked her to the shower wall, soaped up my hands, and washed her. No sponges. I needed to feel her, every part of her. When it was time to clean her sex, I couldn't help but make her come again, against the wall, writhing against my body.

I took her against that wall. My body wouldn't wait any longer. Picking her up, her legs wrapped around my body as I fucked her pressed against the tiles. It was quick and exquisite. We washed each other again before drying off and climbing into bed.

A woke up to a wet warmth on my dick. I threw off the covers to find Bella sucking me. What a way to be woken up. When I was rock hard, I pulled her from me and entered her slowly, gently. We savored each other well into the morning, not wanting our joining to end. When we felt as if we were too close to coming, we would pull apart, calm down, simply touch and whisper. When we were ready, I would enter her again, slipping in, luxuriating in her slick heat. We let each other come as the sun rose over the city. There more declarations of love than I could ever remember.

A/N

I needed that.

Reviews are almost better than shower sex ;-)