90210: 2012

"There's my man." Marco reached out and touched at Teddy's face tenderly, cupping it in his hands and staring into the bold, blue, mournful eyes of his boyfriend, he looked up into those vast, watery eyes and almost lost himself, could feel himself sleeping into their embrace and then he stopped, and focused his own eyes, piercing through to Teddy's core, admiring him but regarding him – at a distance, from the distance they would have to take from now on.

"Is this real?" Teddy asked nervously, and Marco simply stroked reassuringly at the back of his neck.

"This is me," he countered – there was no point in distinguishing what was reality and what was fantasy, that would spoil the moment, the last real moment they would have together, "this is us – this is what it meant…to me at least…what knowing you meant. Do you remember the first time we met?"

Teddy let out an uncertain yet unprompted laugh, "Sure, I smacked you in the face with a tennis ball."

"It was unconventional," Marco smiled unreservedly, beaming with bittersweet love and adoration to be able to share these precious moments, "we were unconventional, at first you just wanted a hook-up…you wanted it to be a one night thing, but I held out hope, I said no at Spring Break – because I trusted that you'd come back to me, and you did…even if it took sleeping with your old roommate to show it to you," Teddy laughed nervously again and Marco lifted his hand from the back of his neck and held Teddy's left-hand lovingly, not tightly but with enough pressure to show he cared – if only as a representation of a fraction of the amount of love he had for him, "there've been good times and there've been bad times – but I never doubted you, even through our dark moments you were always there…my Knight in shining armour." He could see the tears forming in Teddy's eyes, threatening to break free and cascade down his face at any moment – but he couldn't let that happen, he couldn't let that tarnish this perfect moment.

"Why do you have to go?" Teddy prodded desperately, feeling as though the veil was being drawn back and his hold on the moment, on the present they were sharing was being torn from him.

"I'm not going, I'll never leave," Marco returned more forcefully, leading Teddy across the clean, immaculate hospital room and settling on a sofa, resting his head against Teddy's chest, leaning in so that his head rested against his beating heart, hearing it thump reassuringly, "anytime you need me you know I'll be here for you, in there," he said nuzzling against his chest to indicate his heart, "and in there," he bobbed his head to point at Teddy's heart, "even when you've moved on – and you will," he added before he received a protest, "because I want you to, because you have to – I'll always be here to talk to you or to help you in the dark times."

"I'm scared," Teddy voiced and Marco turned to look into those intoxicating, indigo eyes, so full of fear, so full of remorse, so full of terror – for someone that had always inspired such strength and fortitude Marco could see that the bravado was breaking down, that his shell had fractured and was falling away piece by piece, thought by thought as his brain continued to process what was happening around him, how his world was collapsing, "I don't know what to do without you – we were a team remember," he looked Marco in the eyes and the first tear escaped down his face, "we'd be together for ever, have each other's back…we'd win everything we entered because we're both so competitive and both so attuned to one another, if my heart skipped a beat so did yours, if you couldn't sleep neither could I…we were…we were perfect together."

Marco laughed and looked into Teddy's eyes deeply and touched at the side of his face again, bringing him to focus upon Marco's own dark, resolute, controlled eyes, "It…it might be hard to process right now Teddy but Soulmates don't always live forever, people change, people grow – it might feel like perfection what you have with me right now, but someday you'll look back on this and realize how far you were from it," Marco smiled at him weakly, for the first time his own strength faltering as he felt the pain in his chest, the blood slowly trickling out of it as his body gradually closed-down, his vital organs ending their necessary functions, "you're destined for better things, but I'm so thankful to have known you." Marco leaned across and kissed him, softly on the lips and then Teddy felt himself crying, crying as he never had before.

Mrs Salazar hugged at his chest as Teddy felt Marco's hand slip away from him and the sterile hospital room cleared, it was dark again, night had fallen beyond the windows of the hospital and there was a single, painful, heart-wrenching tone droning through the hospital room. A Doctor was saying something but Teddy wasn't paying attention; he was looking at Marco – at his boyfriend's body, his motionless corpse lying on the bed, so serene, so tranquil, as if nothing had happened. As if nothing had ever gone wrong, as if they were still together somehow and Marco was just dozing because he'd worked his ass off at one of his jobs or at Soccer.

Teddy looked down at Mrs Salazar and gripped her tightly in an embrace, he had lost a boyfriend, she had lost a son, he could feel her tears beginning to stain his shirt and wet it but he didn't care, nothing mattered anymore, the shining light of his life had been extinguished and it was all gone, it was all over. He tuned back to the sounds of the room and felt a sob escape from him as he heard the Doctor speaking.

"Time of death, ten forty-six pm."

.

"How long has he been in there?" Silver asked as she nervously allowed her eyes to linger over the clock, 10:50, and then flickered back to Ivy – had the moment been, she should know shouldn't she? She should know whether something like this had happened, whether someone close to her had died…or should she not? There should be a sign, she should know, she should have felt something. She had come as soon as she'd landed, to be here, to be close to Teddy in his time of need.

"About ten minutes," Ivy shrugged and then wiped at her eyes, still wet and bleary after a brief descent into tears, "he was holding strong out here but once he comes back…I don't know Silver…I mean this might actually kill him you know."

She nodded receptively – she had dated him, she had known him inside and out – apart from him being gay but now she had gotten back to that almost forensic knowledge of what made Teddy tick, of how his body and mind worked, how he lived and how he carried on living – how he might carry on living after this was however cast in the shadow of a looming question mark. In all honesty she didn't know, she'd gotten past her mother dying but as cruel as it sounded her mother hadn't always been there for her, it was in a twisted way like losing a distant relative like an Aunt or a Cousin that you never spoke to – Marco had been a for more permanent and dominant part of Teddy's life. She wasn't even sure she could have dealt with it if something had happened to Navid, if something still did happen to him.

"You should…you should go," Silver suggested, "He won't want people crowding him."

"You know him best," Ivy conceded, she hugged Silver, and then pulled back, "just call me if you need any help or Dixon or any of the others, he needs you right now." Silver watched Ivy go and then settled into a chair facing the corridor to Marco's room, she tried to think of something to say – it needed to be compassionate, caring, warm, supportive and at the same time balanced by the gravity of the situation…but words failed her. What did she say to him? Sorry your boyfriend got shot and died? Sorry he'll never be in your arms again? Sorry you'll never kiss him? She didn't have anything to say to him, nothing sensible, nothing strong, nothing supportive, she was at a complete loss, she looked up as she heard footsteps coming along the corridor and she saw him, he was walking and he wasn't crying – his eyes were wet and bloodshot but he seemed somehow…resolute…against the storm, she stood up and straightened.

He reached her and then she opened her arms in what seemed like an extraordinarily friendly gesture for what had happened, but then she saw it – the emotion tugging at his façade, and then he was gushing, tears streaming down his face as he collapsed into her and Silver simply steered him toward the chair and hugged him, protectively, and sat there allowing him to pour out all his emotion onto her, and at that moment she felt a strange pang of pride. She was proud of him, because he hadn't done Marco's memory a disservice, he had held his composure until he couldn't any longer and now he was letting it all out – or some of it, she knew it wouldn't be as simple as letting out this first burst of sadness: but it was the first step. She lifted his head and plucked a tissue from her bag, wiping his tears as he waited and then urged him to stand and walked him out to his car and then halted as she spotted two Police Officers, walking up the hallway.

"Are you Teddy Montgomery?" one of them quizzed.

"He is." Silver interjected, she could already see where this was going and she didn't like it.

"We need to ask you a few questions about your boyfriend, could we do that now?"

Teddy was about to talk but Silver leaned across.

"His boyfriend just," she searched for a sensitive phrasing, "just…passed away, he needs some time…look just come by his Apartment tomorrow, until then he needs to rest…it's very…traumatic."

She didn't wait for the Officer to affirm what she said and brushed past them, steering Teddy out, downstairs and into her car in the lot, she was thankful tonight that she'd traded in the Moped for a Saloon – it wasn't as cheap but at least she could actually look after him this way. She settled him in the passenger seat and pulled away, looking at the mirrors and then breathed a sigh of relief, she looked over and he was fast asleep – the exhaustion had overcome him, she just hoped that when he came back to her he would be in the same mood, devastated but not angry.

She couldn't believe the officers either – how idiotic did you have to be? He'd just lost his boyfriend and they think he's in a fit state to question them? Why question him anyway – what would he know exactly? None of it made any sense…it was so unfair…so cruel, Teddy was the most compassionate, caring person she knew and he had had the person he cared most about in the world torn away from him, ripped away from his arms just in the beginnings of real love, true love – the kind of love that led you to marry a person. She looked towards the sky and at the sparse night-time traffic, dwelling gloomily upon how many other people in those cars around her had gone or were going through the same experience as Teddy. How many people had lost someone close to them?

.

Light was filtering through the drawn blinds into Silver's house, Teddy allowed his eyes to flicker open and immediately became aware of his surroundings – he recognized the house implicitly, it was…Silver in a building, quirky, exotic and somehow at the same time intelligent, bohemian but brainy – it was the kind of place that a spirit like Silver was most comfortable. Unfortunately it did nothing to assuage his inner sadness, he could still remember slipping away from Marco and watching him be lost forever, he sat up groggily and realized he was still wearing the same clothes he had been for the past few years – although he was stripped down to his briefs and tee now: had Silver done this? He couldn't remember much of the night before.

He stood up expectantly as the door opened and recognized Adrianna with Silver, the two chatting to one another in cheerful yet subdued tones, they looked at him and immediately fell silent, he frowned – this was exactly what he didn't want, Marco had been a huge part of Teddy's world but he didn't want them to stop – even if it was out of respect and love for him – they hadn't really known Marco and to Teddy's mind it made no sense for them to make such a sacrifice for him: they had lives to lead too and he knew Marco wouldn't want them to be fake sadness or mourning – that was wrong, completely wrong.

"Hey," Adrianna greeted uncertainly, "we were just out getting some breakfast," she produced a bag from a bakery, "croissant – your favourite right?" Teddy nodded and Adrianna crossed to the table with him while Silver bustled into the kitchen with some new found energy and produced some plates and cutlery for them to eat, completed by a second trip which returned jams and butter to the table. Adrianna bit her lip – a sign Teddy had come to associate with her not wanting to say something or being unsure of what impact it would have, "You seem, composed?"

Teddy nodded again – there was no point in airing how sad he truly was, that was something he had to deal with on his own, not something he had to dump onto his friends or weigh them down with – they had been good to him in supporting him thus far, he couldn't ask them for more than they'd already given him, they'd given up time to do shifts with him: it sounded cynical but he knew it was true, and he loved them all for it, but it wasn't right. He should be able to do this on his own – he would do it on his own.

"Did you sleep okay?" Silver prompted, taking a bite out of a piece of croissant smeared in apricot jam as she regarded him, trying to get a read on how he was feeling.

"It hurts but I'm dealing with it." He replied simply.

Adrianna exchanged a nervous look with Silver, then she gingerly extended a hand to Teddy's and touched at it – as they might have done as teenagers, "You know none of us expect you to hold it all in Teddy…we're your friends you know? You can talk to us, you should talk to us…I know we can't help and we didn't know Marco as intimately as you did but we're still here to talk or just to listen or to comfort…you know-"

"-I get it," he replied, suddenly realized how harsh it had sounded, "sorry – it's just…like you say you didn't know Marco…and I know to you it seems like the right thing to do to make a big show of it and to be here for me but if anything…I just don't wanna be crowded…you guys have already been so great, I mean Silver you flew home from Italy and Ade you took time off of work just for the sake of coming to spend a few hours at the hospital with me…you're all sacrificing so much and somehow that doesn't seem right. It isn't what Marco would've wanted for me, for you…if he could see us now this isn't what he'd have wanted…I don't mean to sound ungrateful either," he added hastily, "its just…that's just how it is."

Silver nodded, chewing it other mentally as well as physically as she ate another mouthful of croissant, "We can respect that, but please talk to us, even if it's just to listen, we want to make amends and we want to be here for you, Teddy no-one expects you to do this on your own, and you shouldn't it…it isn't healthy."

"Okay but just…just remember that there are things that I'd like to reflect on alone…stuff that I can't really discuss with you…intimate things…memories that I want to go over in my mind and refresh…things I have to do…there's a lot on my mind." He admitted sincerely – the sadness was the dominant thing, the feelings of loss and tragedy, but there was also the voices saying he might have saved him if he'd done something different or the roles might have been reversed and then there was the other talking about the Funeral and how that would play out, whether he should make an effort with Marco's Mom to organize it, or let her do it – did he offer to pay for it?

"Sure – but we can help with that," Adrianna said in what she hoped was a reassuring voice, loss wasn't something she was accustomed deal with, especially not so relatively close to her, giving up her baby had been hard but that wasn't loss like this, this was permanent, "and we want to Teddy – it isn't any trouble, the Station has said I can just work when I want to so I'm always here, and so is Silver, Dixon, Liam, Ivy, Annie – everyone's here for you Teddy, just say the word."

"Thanks I guess," he said with more appreciation than the statement might have normally merited, he looked toward Silver, "have…have the Police called again?"

"No but I brought you here anyway…to give you some privacy, I guessed they'd call at your place so I thought I'd make sure you had some time…it isn't much but I thought it might be enough to give you time to deal with even a little bit of your pain – even if it eased any of it then it was worth it…you don't need some Cops harassing you about it." She was careful not to mention the actual words – she didn't want to cause any unnecessary pain.

"Thank you," he paused at the knock at the door and Silver rose to answer it, Teddy listened to it and then paused, "I'm in here." The officers crossed the threshold – two of them, tall and built – the epitome of what one might imagine the courageous Police Officer to be.

"We're truly sorry for your loss Mr Montgomery," the leader of the two, a brunette with short, cropped hair intoned, "but we need to take a statement from you if that would be possible," he paused for a moment as if deliberating, "maybe I could just give you a ride home and I could take it there? Do you mind getting a ride back yourself?" he pressed his buddy who shook his head deferentially.

"Sure…that'd be fine," Teddy said calmly, "just let me get my stuff together."

"I'll help," Silver said moving off to help him find his clothes. Adrianna watched them go and then her eyes flickered back to the lingering Officer – his partner had left them to it – she looked into the Officer's eyes and she saw genuine compassion, something she hadn't honestly been expecting, not that she doubted individual Police commitment to separate cases but he certainly seemed…more in touch with the situation than she'd imagined. He was probably only a couple of years older than them and he had a twinkle to his eye – something, something that although she couldn't be certain she thought she recognized. There was something more than compassion there although she couldn't be sure what exactly that was.

.

Navid paused to examine the spreadsheet – the profits all seemed in order, except a glaring hole where some money from the Shakira video shoot should have been – he cursed having been taken in by his Uncle, having lost Silver and all his friends over it and paused to consider how far he had fallen, he opened the task and looked down at the collection of pills stored in containers…would he end it all, could he, was there anything that was still worth living for?

. . .

Hope you liked Chapter 3,

Reviews and responses appreciated and as always welcome,

Acrobat

X