A/N: Me no own, you no sue.
Tourniquet: Chapter 5 - Anywhere but Home
Within a little over a week, Toby had almost fully recovered and was ready to go home. He tightly held Mrs. Lovett's hand as they walked out of the building and outside to were a carriage awaited them.
It was a rather dreary day in London. Large, dark clouds had rolled in and a steady rain was falling, making a dull, monotonous sound on the cobble stone streets. Mrs. Lovett climbed into the carriage after helping Toby in. The carriage jerked forward, and they started their trip back to Fleet Street. Toby slid closer to Mrs. Lovett. He rested his head on her shoulder and closed his eyes.
"You tired dear?" Mrs. Lovett asked. Toby nodded sleepily.
"Well, we'll be 'ome soon, and you can get some sleep then, all right." she said, ruffling his hair.
The carriage pulled up to the shop with a halt. The horse pulling the carriage snorted and tossed its head, not taking to kindly to the bit being pulled so hard in its mouth.
"Knock it off you dumb brute!" the driver yelled. "I've had enough trouble with ya! You keep it up and I'll have you sent to the slaughter house!"
Mrs. Lovett helped Toby out of the carriage and onto the sidewalk. The rain was pouring down.
Toby turned his head toward the sad looking dark bay colored horse pulling the carriage. The horse, an older creature of about medium height. Its head hung low. You could see its back bone, hips, and ribs sticking out. Its legs were caked in mud, but you could still see that it had a white hoof and sock on its left hind leg. On the center of its forehead was a white, lightning bolt-shaped marking.
"Poor fellow." Toby muttered. He knew how it felt to be treated so poorly.
"Come on Toby, let's get inside." Mrs. Lovett said, pulling him by the hand. He turned around and let her lead him away, taking on last look at the dark bay horse. The driver snapped the reins, which sent the horse struggling to a trot and off down the street.
Toby looked up at the second story barber shop that loomed over head. He stopped dead in his tracks. He let go of Mrs. Lovett's hand and took a few shaky steps back.
"Toby, 'wots a matter dear?" Mrs. Lovett asked.
He kept looking up at the barber shop, a look of sheer terror in his eyes.
"Oh Toby, he's gone dear. He left over a week ago. There's nothing to worry about." Mrs. Lovett said
Toby shook his head. His tears mingled with the rain that was falling on his face. Mrs. Lovett put her hands on his shoulders.
"Its all right darling, he's gone." She said "There's nothing to be afraid of, and besides, I would never let him or anyone else hurt you ever again. I promise."
She had made the same promise to him before, and he ended up almost losing his life. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, not wanting to ever let him go.
"Shh, Shh, there's nothing to worry about. Everything is going to be fine." She slowly let go of him and wiped the tears from his face.
"Let's get you inside before you catch a chill." She said. Toby nodded solemnly and let her guide him inside.
Mrs. Lovett opened the door to her pie shop and they walked inside. Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust.
"Well, I sure have work cut out for me as far as cleaning goes, huh." Mrs. Lovett said jokingly.
Toby wasn't paying attention. He was slowly walking around the shop. It seemed like forever since he had last been in there. He tried to remember the last time he was in the shop, but his mind kept drifting off to that night in the bake house.
"Come on dear." Mrs. Lovett said "Let's get you dried off a bit and then you can get some rest."
After he had changed into some dry clothes, he climbed into bed to get some much welcomed sleep. Mrs. Lovett tucked him in and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
"Now if you need anything, just shout, all right." Mrs. Lovett said.
"All right mum." Toby said as he closed his eyes.
Mrs. Lovett figured she probably wouldn't be hearing from him. He was still on a regular dose of laudanum, which made him rather drowsy, so she guessed that he wouldn't wake up until the next morning.
She gave him another kiss and walked out of the room, quietly closing the door behind her. With the free time she now had, she decided to do some much needed dusting.
Later that night Mrs. Lovett was in her room, sleeping soundly. Toby, on the other hand, was restless as an onslaught of his most dreaded memories filled his mind. They started with his earliest memories from the workhouse where he was beaten senselessly even if he hardly did anything wrong; to when he worked for Pirelli where he wasn't treated any kinder. Thoughts memories though seemed distant and foggy compared to his newest ones. He could clearly remember the dimly lit cellar bake house; and the smell of death that hung heavy in the air. He could still feel the cold, silver straight razor against his throat. He woke up with a start in a cold sweat and screamed bloody murder.
Mrs. Lovett woke up and rushed over to his room to find him sitting up in bed with his knees against his chest, crying. She rushed over to him and put her arms around him tightly.
"Oh, Toby, what's wrong deary?" she said
He didn't answer her and continued sobbing even harder. Mrs. Lovett stroked his back soothingly, trying to calm him. She figured that he must have had a nightmare.
"Shh, Shh, Shh, its all right sweetie. It was just a nightmare, but its over now. There's nothing to be afraid of. I'm right here. Nothings gonna harm you darling."
He seemed to have calmed down a bit after that. Mrs. Lovett continued stroking his back and talking to him softly to comfort him.
She felt so bad for him. She couldn't imagine how he felt, or how traumatized he was. She just wished that there was more that she could do to help him. She wanted to be able to make the nightmares go away, and for things to go back to the way they were.
After a few minutes Toby had almost completely calmed down.
"All right dear, how about you try to get some sleep, okay. It's late." Mrs. Lovett said. She was exhausted and desperately wanted to go back to bed. The clock in old St. Dunstan's church chimed 4 o'clock in the morning.
Toby shook his head and wrapped his uninjured arm tighter around her. He didn't want her to leave.
Mrs. Lovett sighed and rested her head on his. She loved him to pieces and had great sympathy for him, but she hadn't had a good nights sleeps in a few weeks and it was starting to catch up to her.
"All right, how about to sleep in my room tonight." She said.
Toby nodded and Mrs. Lovett guided him into her room.
He climbed into bed next to her and eased his head onto the pillow. Mrs. Lovett put her arm around him and let out a deep sigh.
Hopefully the rest of the night is uneventful. She thought to herself, hoping to get in at least a few hours of sleep.
A loud clap of thunder followed by a bolt of lightning sounded from the rain storm raging outside. Toby let out a soft whimper and curled up closer to Mrs. Lovett.
"It was just thunder, nothing to worry 'bout. Go to sleep." She said yawing.
Toby knew that there wasn't anything to worry about, but that didn't stop him from being afraid. He used to be afraid of hardly anything, or at least he didn't show it. After that night in the bake house, though, even the smallest things frightened him.
He pulled the blanket closer around him, trembling.
Mrs. Lovett sat up in bed. "Don't be afraid, sweetie. I told you before; there is nothing to worry about. It's just your nerves. You just need to get a good nights rest." She said as she stroked his hair.
"If you need to leave the world you live in," she sang softly, "Lay your head down and stay a while. Though you may not remember dreaming, something waits for you to breathe again. In my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby, I lie inside myself for hours and watch my purple sky fly over me."
Toby closed his eyes and the sweet lullaby finally coaxed him to sleep.
A/N: *The horse is based off of my dad's horse Cody. Unlike the horse in this story, though, he was never abused, but a while back he got really, really sick and was at the equine hospital for about 5 weeks; and well he kind of looked like the horse in the story. Cody is doing much better now and is back to his own fuzzy, loveable, tub of lard self. J
**Lyrics are from 'Imaginary' (version 1 from 'Origin'). They belong to the amazing Amy Lee of Evanescence