A/N: Sorry it took me so long to post, dang writer's block! I kill you! It happens. I have an announcement for you:
I would like to give a very special thank-you to my best friend Kayla who was a MAJOR help in writing this chapter. Kayla, thank you soooo much! You're one of the very few people who can finish my thoughts and keep me from going completely insane. Thank You so much! I love you girl! How about a big round of applause for the 'mazing Kayla! W00t! Kayla you're the best! =~D
Me no own, you no sue.
Tourniquet: Chapter 6- Salvation
"Monster…monster…killer…villain …monster…killer. Monster…killer…killer. Killer. Monster. Murderer. Killer. Killer! Killer! Monster. Murderer. Killer. Monster. Killer…monster…Sweeney… Sweeney… Sweeney!" The ghostly voices whispered constantly in Sweeney Todd's head as he walked down am old, deserted, dirt road on the outskirts of London. He'd been aimlessly wondering around the outskirts of London, and other rural areas like a lost soul for the past few weeks. He had gone to clear his head and get away from London and the ghosts it harbored. He had thought of what he had done and how he hurt both Mrs. Lovett and Toby.
Sweeney was in a very unconscious state of mind. Though he was walking, he couldn't feel his legs move. He didn't know what he was doing; he kept pondering what he should do, where he should go, what his life would be like in the future. He thought about things he had never thought about before. He didn't know why he thought those thoughts. He tried to become numb in his thoughts and feelings, like he did so often after he deported by the judge. He then began thinking about his wife; the look on her face as he was being taken away; he look of hurt, anguish, and fear of what would happen to her and Johanna since he was gone. He though about how he felt as he sat in that lonely jail cell, so far away from home; not knowing if he would ever see his Lucy and Johanna again.
His thoughts then shifted to that night in the bake house as he and Mrs. Lovett went in search of Toby. He remembered when they found him hiding behind the furnace; the look of terror in his eyes as he tried to make a run for it. He remembered the look in Mrs. Lovett's eyes as she pleaded for him to spare Toby's life. He had merely tossed her aside. He did not take very kindly to people getting in between him and the thrill of murder. He had not pity as he pressed the razor against Toby's throat. He was so close to killing him, until Mrs. Lovett intervened. She had knocked the razor out of his hands as she screamed at him to stop. He had quickly picked the razor back up and pinned her against the wall. He was so close to killing her also until she blurted out that the judge was coming. He then quickly stomped out of the bake house; full of rage and in anticipation of killing the judge, leaving Mrs. Lovett with a nearly dead Toby.
He had no pity on them. Ever since he was shipped off he the only pity he had was on himself. He had become so self centered, only caring about his problems, only focusing on getting his revenge.
Now he had it. He should feel good; all his problems were over, right? He should be able to move on with his life; but deep inside something felt odd, wrong. He had gotten his revenge, but now what? What was left for him to do? The thought of revenge had completely consumed him, but now it seemed he had nothing to live for. He felt completely empty and without purpose. He sat down on the edge of the road and contemplated this. As he sat there he thought of everything he had done since he came back to London. The horrible crimes he had committed. Was it really right to waste all those innocent lives, just to get at one person who had wronged him over a decade ago?
He shook his head. Why should he care about them or anyone else for that matter? The only people he had ever cared about were Lucy and Johanna, and now Lucy was gone and Johanna had run off with Anthony.
As he thought about this though, he began to feel very strange. He began to feel something he had never felt before, or at least not in a very long time; a feeling of pity and sympathy for others. He began to feel pity for all those innocent people he slaughtered and for their families who were left to wonder what happened to them. He felt pity for Mrs. Lovett. She had done her best to help him in any way she could, but he had taken no notice of her and went on with mourning his dear Lucy. He even felt pity for Toby, who would now have to live with the physical and emotional scars for the rest of his life.
Sweeney shook his head again. He couldn't understand why he felt like this. He tried to cancel it out but it just became stronger and stronger. He realized that deep, deep inside him somewhere through all the hate, anger, angst, and rage, part of the loving, caring Benjamin Barker was still there, desperately waiting to come back; no matter how hard he tried to fight it.
After a while of raging an internal conflict he decided that he just couldn't ignore these feelings he had. He stood up and decided that he was going to do something. He was going to turn his miserable life around, and hopefully have some chance of salvation.
He then started walking down that barren, desolate road and put his plan into action. This was completely and absolutely out of character for Sweeney Todd, a man who had grown to hate the world and its inhabitance with a passion and would more than happily kill anyone who made him angry; but for some reason it actually felt, good.
He traveled down the road to start the first part of his plan; confront Mrs. Lovett.
Dun, dun duuuuuuunnnnnn. Has Sweeney really changed his ways, or will he go back to his same hateful self? Queue dramatic music!
Oh, this chapter is based off the Alice Cooper song by the same name. I love Alice Cooper. 'He's hot, he's sexy, he's alive!' Who knew a man who wrote a song about dead babies, could be so funny.' 'He's the king of your kind, what ever kind of mutant you are. All hail, Alice Cooper!'
The beginning of the chapter is based off the beginning of 'Legal Assassin' from Repo! The Genetic Opera, which I do not own, I wish I did though, I love Repo. Oh well.