- Chapter 19 -

"The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain."
~ Jennifer Aniston

For a very long moment, after Fauna had told everything, she waited for Maxim to speak. He still had his back on her, unmoving, silent, hands clenched into fists, as though ready to punch at anything, or at anyone.

She told him everything.

Horace had been a very persistent lover of hers but she never felt the same way for him. And his persistence only made her more annoyed by him, as she had done all she could to avoid him. Unfortunately, his persistence had drove him to the point where he ravished her in the fields out at night when he got the chance. And when she went home to her aunt, she cried her heart out and said what happened.

The young man's parents were furious of course, after having found out from Fauna's aunt, who demanded justice. In which, it had then lead to the agreement that they should be married, and for Horace to take responsibility on what he had done. Fauna simply agreed reluctantly. Like any other girl, she had dreamed to be married to the man she loves. But that dream won't happen because of Horace, and although the young man was truly sorry for what he did, promising to make it up for her, she knew that she could never find anything in her to forgive him full-heartedly.

She looked down on the red rose she still had in her hand. It was beautiful, ignoring the thorns, the rose was beautiful. If it were Horace, he would have given her a necklace, a ring, a beautiful dress that was suitable for a princess, or even precious stones. But Maxim, he gave her a single, red rose, which he probably picked from a bush he found outside...It would seem that she'd rather choose the rose over any other precious stone.

When once again she looked to him, she found teary dark eyes fixated at her.

He was weeping silently. All those time that he wasn't saying anything, he was weeping silent tears. It was so silent, she was certain she never heard not even a soft sob or a whimper from him. She didn't even saw his shoulders shaking as a sign.

"You were engaged to be married for quite a time when we first met?" he said to her, the tears already falling from his eyes and on his cheeks, but he didn't seem to mind, as he advances towards her.

"I didn't saw it coming," she tried to say, once again finding herself backed against the wall. "I-I just fell for you."

He got within a foot away from her. "You lied to me."

"No," she shook her head. "No, Maxim I..."

"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!" he shouted at her, his fist slammed hard on the wall, as his face was then mere inches from hers.

Her widened eyes only showed how much she was afraid of him at the moment, compared to those of his frightful eyes which only showed rage. But with the tears, it also showed so much pain.

"Maxim, I didn't want to hurt you," she managed to say, unable to hold back her own tears.

To her sudden surprise, Maxim took hold of the rose in her hand, and griped on it, as though he meant to crush the flower little by little in his hand.

"A wise friend once told me," he began, his eyes hidden behind his dark hair dangling on his face, "that he thinks of love as a rose. That no matter how beautiful it blooms, it will always have thorns, to hurt you."

Slowly, he loosen his grip on the flower, and let it fall to the floor, as they both looked down on his then bleeding hand, having two thorns still stuck on his palm.

"Don't get me wrong," he spoke again, his gaze fixed on his bleeding hand. "I can feel the pain in my hand, but that's nothing compared to the pain I'm feeling here." He then took her hand to place it on his chest, indicating to the beating organ that resided there.

A tear fell from Fauna's left eye, as the only words she could tell him were, "I'm sorry, love. I'm sorry."

Maxim only shook his head and turned away from her, walked off towards the door, and went out of the house without a word.

As soon as it was apparent that Maxim's presence was no more near, Fauna dropped to her knees, burying her face in her hands and letting her tears finally fall without holding back.

It was already late at night, and both Balthazar and Veronica were as worried as Merlin was about Maxim not having returned to the castle yet. But it was only Balthazar who went looking for the eldest apprentice.

The thirteen-year-old blond boy had went to all possible places that he knew or at least thought where he could find his best friend. First he went to that particular tavern where Maxim would go drink liquor without Merlin's knowing. Then he went to Maxim's home, where the old family friend, the blacksmith Carlyle, told him that Maxim hadn't even passed by. Balthazar even went to the hill behind the house to make sure.

When he was already having thoughts of giving up and just go back to the castle and announce that he was unsuccessful, he remembered that there was another way that he could find his best friend - magic.

He focused his energy and concentrated on conjuring up a black cloud above the atmosphere, careful not to create a thunder storm. It was a somewhat tracking spell, which can only be use on magical devices, such as a sorcerer's ring or power source. And in Maxim's case, the sword.

As soon as the cloud went into motion towards a particular direction, Balthazar followed and found himself being led back to the castle. At first he thought that perhaps Maxim had already returned, but he wondered greatly when the cloud went into another way and passed the castle, leading him to the forest behind the castle.

It only made sense when he got far enough to the lake that was supposedly found there and saw his best friend seated on the grassy ground, a bottle of wine in one hand, and by the looks of it, the bottle was almost half empty. When he got close enough, he noticed that his best friend was also seemingly drunk already.

At first he didn't think speaking was best, but eventually, Maxim noticed him and immediately threw the bottle of wine into the lake.

Balthazar smiled subtly. "Too late. I already saw it, you know." He then sat beside the older apprentice.

"You're not going to tell Merlin, are you?" asked Maxim, looking to Balthazar.

Maxim already smelled of wine, but Balthazar ignored it and just replied. "No. I won't tell."

The older apprentice only nodded then looked away. On one hand, Balthazar took a moment before asking.

"But, will you tell me about it? About what's wrong?"

Balthazar waited for a reply, and it didn't matter to him how long it would have to take, as his best friend looked on, far off the distance, with a very sad look in those dark eyes. Although the sadness was there, it was still unclear of what exactly was going inside Maxim's head.

"She's getting married tomorrow."

The words caught Balthazar by surprise, and although he had a pretty good idea who the 'she' was, he just had to ask. "Who's getting married?"

Dark, sad eyes squeezed close, as a tear fell. "Fauna..."

Balthazar opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. He didn't know what to say, so once he opened his mouth again, he tried to be truthful instead. "Maxim, in truth, I don't know what to say," he started. "I haven't went through such a thing with a girl..er..yet."

"If you're lucky," replied the older apprentice, falling on his back on the grassy ground, his gaze on the night sky, "perhaps you never will."

"What do you mean by that?" asked the blond, his brows furrowing.

"Love is a wonderful thing," Maxim was saying as he rolled over his side, turning his back on Balthazar. "That's why it hurts like hell when it stings you. If you know what I mean by that."

The only thing Balthazar could do was smile sadly with understanding. Or at least he was trying to understand.

Two minutes later, none of them dared spoke again, and they were both silent, a silence that was only broken until Balthazar heard a somewhat soft snoring. He scooted a little closer to his best friend and realized that said friend had already fallen asleep. Again, Balthazar smiled as he decided to to lie down on his back, staring up on the late night sky.

"Looks like there would be two of us not coming back to the castle tonight," he said, directing his words to Maxim, though he was certain that he was not heard. When he turned his head to look at the back of his dear brother by bond, shoulders rising and falling repeatedly, he said a few words before going to sleep, "I'll be here with you till morning comes, Maxim. I won't leave you. That's the least I can do."

Balthazar finally closed his eyes and went into a dreamless sleep...

When the boys went back to the castle in the morning, Merlin was already waiting for them by the huge doors to the front entrance. They've caught sight of their master when they got close enough at the gates, but as they have also noticed, Merlin didn't look angry with them at all.

"Good, you both returned," greeted Merlin, a subtle smile on his face, with Veronica suddenly appearing behind him, and ran towards the boys to greet them both in a great big hug. "Why don't you two have breakfast inside, and Horvath, you can go home after."

Both boys looked up to their master with wondering looks, but only Maxim spoke.

"Go home? But it's not home visit yet. I remember."

"I know." Merlin walked side by side with his first apprentice as they all entered the castle. "Carlyle came here last night, when Balthazar went out looking for you. He said you should come home, but nothing was mentioned as to why."

Although wondering greatly, Maxim was very much assured with himself that nothing bad happened. Because he would have been told personally if that was the case.

As was told, after breakfast, Maxim went on his way home, riding on the black stallion that Carlyle gave him. But as he unmounted his horse, he was surprised on how quiet it was the moment he stepped inside the fence. He walked on slowly to enter the then opened front door to their house and immediately saw Carlyle leaning his back on the wooden wall, arms across his chest, head bowed.

The blacksmith only noticed Maxim entered when the youth spoke his name.

"Oh! You're here," said Carlyle, pushing himself off the wall. When he came to clear lighting, though he was smiling, his eyes were red.

"Were you crying?" asked Maxim, quirking up a brow.

Taking in a deep breath, Carlyle approached the youth but stopped within two feet away.

"I..don't know how to say this," the blacksmith started to say. "See, it's about your mother."

"What about her? Is she alright?" asked the youth, sudden concern appearing in his features. "How is she? Is she here?"

Carlyle swallowed hard, his gaze not meeting Maxim's eyes since the moment he approached. "She's in a..better place now. Or so they would say."

This time, Maxim's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Carlyle, what's wrong? Tell me."

Shaking his head, the blacksmith once again took a deep breath. "She's gone."

He heard it loud and clear, but Maxim still asked, "What?"

The blacksmith jerked his head towards the direction leading to Ulla's room. "She's inside. You should go and see her."

Hesitantly, Maxim went to the room with slow steps, and almost didn't want to believe his eyes when he got to the door. There was his mother laid on the bed, pale as white, very still and unmoving, her hands placed on her chest. He approached with teary eyes and knelt on one knee, carefully placing his hand on hers, and his breath was caught up in his throat when he felt how cold her hand was.

His tears fell more as he placed his glowing tip of his sword over their hands, slowly focusing his energy on it as he closed his eyes. Then, the information came to his head piece by piece till it became very clear. He snapped open his eyes.

Meanwhile, Carlyle waited outside, wanting to give Maxim all the time that the boy needed. Until a huge plasma bolt hit the wall opposite the room where Maxim just came in. The blacksmith quickly ran for the room to see what was going on and saw the youth on his feet, one hand extended holding the sword with the blue jewel on the hilt glowing bright. The look on the youth's eyes were deadly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Maxim asked as he approached.

"Maxim, what are..."

"SHE WAS SICK!" shouted Maxim, cutting off Carlyle. "I felt it under my spell! Why didn't you tell me!(?)"

"Yes, she was!" replied the blacksmith. "She was sick for a week. Maxim forgive me for not telling you, but she didn't want you to know."

"I am her son! I have every right to know!" roared the youth, coming in within a foot away from the blacksmith, who stood his own ground under the youth's rage of pain.

"And she's your mother," said Carlyle in a calm tone. "She didn't want you to worry about her, Maxim."

They stood there for a moment, staring each other down, until Maxim broke away from the stare, bursting into silent tears, his hands clenching into fists. The only comfort Carlyle could give was to held the boy close, as he listened to those sobs that were made under his arms.

The funeral of Maxim's mother took place later that day, with Ulla's corpse burned on top of a heap of woods and hay. But Maxim wasn't there present at the burning, and Balthazar may have had the idea as to where his best friend could be. Balthazar, having Veronica following closely behind, wasn't wrong in climbing up the hill behind Maxim's house, where the older apprentice was indeed found, staring at the distance. The tree beside him was in flames.

Coming up from behind, Balthazar took one look on the tree before casting his gaze back on his best friend.

"You did that?" the blond asked, while Veronica only kept quiet.

The older apprentice looked over his shoulders but didn't say a word.

"Listen," Balthazar started again, "I may not understand the pain you're going through right now..."

"No, you don't!" said Maxim, turning around to face his colleagues, causing Balthazar unable to finish. "You don't know what it feels like."

"But I do." Veronica stepped in, taking a step forward. "I've lost everything in one day. I understand your pain, Maxim."

"Pain?" roared the older apprentice. "I'm not just in pain, Veronica! I'm angry!"

"Angry at what?" asked the blond. "At whom?"

"You can tell us," chimed in Veronica. "We're your friends."

"NO!"

With that shouting response, Maxim cast a fire ball at the already burning tree, only causing the tree to be inflamed more, as the flames roared up higher than before.

"Horvath!"

Merlin's shouting voice came all of a sudden, causing all three apprentices to look towards their master.

"What are you truly angry at?" the sorcerer said, directing his words at his first apprentice.

The youth didn't answer.

"Tell me, I'm your master," Merlin insisted.

Still no answer.

"It would be best if you let it out."

Squeezing his eyes close, Maxim turned to face the tree, shooting at it a plasma bolt, as he roared, "NOBODY TELLS ME ANYTHING!"

The tree bursted into more flames, as it finally fell on its side.

"Fauna was to be married, and I didn't know until it was too late," Maxim was saying. "My mother was sick for a week and I only found out when she's already dead!"

Slowly, without Maxim's knowing, his master was approaching him from behind.

"They said they didn't want me to know because they didn't want to hurt me. They didn't want me to worry. But not knowing till it's late hurts more! It hurts more! It's not..."

"Horvath.."

Turning around only to find his master standing in front of him, Maxim looked up with wide, teary eyes.

"It will be alright," said Merlin, a look of sympathy on his face. "We're still here." He gestured a hand to his two other apprentices who was still there, standing and watching in silence.

Maxim wasn't able to stop himself from wrapping his arms around his master's waist, as he cried on said master's shoulders.

Returning the embrace, Merlin whispered softly, "It will all pass. We're here for you. I'm still here for you."

It wasn't long before Veronica joined in, leaving Balthazar standing alone, watching in silence, as a tear fell from his eye.