Chapter 4

My eyes fluttered open as black orbs roamed the room. No one is here. Not even Sasori. Great. Now I can be with myself. Alone once again. Even though I have friends around me, I still feel lonely. I may be sometimes cheerful but deep inside, I'm quiet. I don't often talk. I became like this when I reached high school. This should be the most happy stage of school life. But I guess, I can't be too happy. And because of my silence, some people tend to think that I'm not easy to get along with. But I proved them wrong. I can socialize well. Some classmates even said that I'm so cheerful. I usually keep a façade face in front of the world. Even my family doesn't know about this. They don't even know I have problems. I just keep them inside until it hurts. I just solve them on my own. Bullshit. I'm tired already. I can't disappoint my family, especially my mother. Fear crept over me. Oh shit. I'm not a nerd!!HEY, do you think I'm a freak? I don't care anymore. I'll forget all of my problems at home and at school coz right now, Sasori is already in front of me. Another problem again.

"What are you staring at? Stop spacing out and MOVE. You got 15 minutes to get ready." I heard him say. I hurriedly went to the bathroom. Why does it have to be so time bounded? Ugh, just like the pile of projects that I have. Sigh, I'll forget them anyway. I finished fixing myself when I saw a note on the dresser.

When you're done, get your breakfast at the kitchen and meet me outside the base.

Sasori

"Fuck you", I muttered. Darn! I cursed again. I often get reprimanded whenever I say those words and such. Like the hell I care. I went to the kitchen and saw Deidara. " Good morning, un." "Oh, good morning too, Deidara-san." I tried to smile and he bought it. I grabbed a piece of bread and a banana and went to my way. I arrived at the mouth of the cave. There was Sasori, looking oh so bored. "Follow", I followed him to a field. He gave me a kunai. "Throw it to that tree." I did what I was told. It didn't even touched the tree. He rolled his eyes and picked it up and handed it to me. Then it just went on and on. Imagine how tiring it is to retrieve the kunai for about a million times. Heh, he got tired also. "Run around that pond. Give me 20 laps." Damn. Who does he think he is? I raised an eyebrow and ready to protest but his glare silenced me. I sighed in defeat. I'm not a good runner so I tire easily. I just finished the 5th lap and I almost fainted. " Stop. That's all for today." My sweat is dripping down my face." Next time, I want you to finish it within 15 minutes." What?! What does he think of me? My mother doesn't even let me clean the house or lets me carry heavy bags.

Inside the Base: Living room

My legs hurt and my feet sored. I never ran like that in my whole life! I rested my legs at the table beside the sofa and closed my eyes. After awhile, something cold was put on my feet. "I know it's unbearable." Sasori said while sitting beside me.

--

The next day, we came out training again. I've never spoke a single word yet. Ah, so quiet. "Throw it like this." Sasori held my hand and helped me aim the kunai. It flew perfectly to the tree. "Now, you need to hit the target without my help. Understood?" he said. "…." He rolled his eyes. "Najia, you need to talk." I refused to talk as long as I'm going to hit the stupid tree with this stupid kunai. I tried avoiding his gaze. Then suddenly, I was painfully forced to look at him. He held my chin in an angle I can't look away. " From now on, I'm going to be your new danna. And you're going to do what I tell you to do. Now speak!" he harshly spat. " Ha..hai..Sasori…err..danna" I stuttered. "Good. Now I want a good throw" I concentrated at the tree and breathed deeply then threw the kunai. The kunai hit the target perfectly, just like what he did. " See, just concentrate". I saw a satisfied smirk on his face. "Oh yeah, whatever" I thought. I continued for a few more hours and then let me run again. After awhile, we stopped for a rest. " Aren't you going to talk again?" and with that, he walked away angrily. "You're not going to have your dinner and you're going to sleep outside, unless you decide to talk." Damn it. Why should he be so, so, ugh! "I'm sorry for insubordination" I bowed my head a little. He stopped and faced me. " Tomorrow, I'll teach you chakra control and the basics. This is all for today." And he turned around and walked away. "Class dismissed" I whispered. Good thing he didn't hear.

I thought Sasori has gone off so I sat down a rock and silently sang a simple song,

"Why do you have to go

And make things so complicated?

I see the way you're acting like somebody else

Makes me frustrated.

A life's like this you

And you fall and you crawl and you break

And you take what you get

And you're turning into

Honestly and promisly I'll never

Gonna find you fake it

No no no ."

"See, you've got a wonderful voice. And you only keep it to yourself, you're so selfish." So Sasori was still there! I feel my cheeks burning. "You're still there. I thought – " I was cut off by Sasori. He pulled me inside the base.

The next day, "Sasori-danna" taught me all the basic techniques a ninja must know. But first of all, he taught how to control chakra. Well, it was fucking hard, but I learned it anyway. Somehow, I got Sasori to be satisfied with me but still has problem with my muteness . To sum it up all, I accomplished ll the lessons for today. Well I took it seriously enough.

"It seemed like you've finished earlier today" he said while dusting his hands off his cloak. This is my time to shine…I thought. "Uhm, Sasori-danna, can we finish tomorrow's lessons today?" Whoa, that was long! " Oh, you can talk", he said sarcastically, "Hmm, fine." Then we trained again. I think I'm losing weight a little. "Huh..huh..huh.. Good, I'm finished" I whispered as beads of sweat trickled down my face and body. " Since you finished tomorrow's lesson, you can take a break for 1 day" he said. A small smile crept on my face, but I didn't show him. "Thank you" I muttered.

It was already evening, I took a bath and ate biscuits and many other foods. Then I stayed at my..er..our room, rather. I lay on my couch, just then Sasori came in. He sat on his bed. Silence. He just stared at me while I stared at the ceiling. "What's the matter?" I didn't reply. I know he won't understand. " Najia tell me, you can't keep it all to yourself." Well I'm keeping everything to myself all my life.

He came to me and grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to sit up. " What do you want?" I screamed, clearly annoyed." I remembered I asked you a question. I demand for an answer." I just looked down. Then he grabbed notebook and a pen and held it to me. " what's this?" I asked. " It's where you can write your feelings. It will help you feel better." I got the ntbk and pen while Sasori left. I looked at it, opened it and scribbled down.

Hey, by the way I'm

Pathetic and ugly. I got lots of assignments for our class and I can't finish it

because I'm stuckin this damned place!! We haven't passed our investigatory project, how bout my grades? SHIT! My pet cat, I haven't feed it yet. My parents, I know they're worried bout me . They love me and I love them too.

Why do I feel different? I don't understand! I wanna scream!

I'm not fashionable. Not talented, but talented. You hate me and I hate you too. I need pineapples!!

I want to sing, I want to laugh and smile. I want to play with our little pig under the sun, pathetic isn't i?

I want to do art. I want to draw, color and paint. I want to cook. Gosh, I'm so stupid. I want to hug someone but I can't. Somehow, I feel sad because I know I'm alone .

Fix me I'm broken.

After a while, Sasori came back. "So, let me see it" I hugged the ntbk closer. "Oh, come on, I'm just trying to help" I hugged it even closer. "Do you want your stay to be pleasurable or not?"

"….." He tried to have it but I ran away from him. He cornered me, I animatedly hissed like a cat while hair standing on end. He attached chakra string on me and controlled my body. He got my ntbk. While he reads it, I sulked in my couch. I stared at the wall. The only thing that gives light is the lamp shade. "You're not alone", I felt arms around me. It was Sasori. I felt his comforting warmth. I could not take it anymore. Tears run down my face. I faced him and hugged him back. He looked at me with his endearing eyes. "Shh..stop crying" he wiped my tears away. He carried me bridal style to his bed

"Saso..sniff..sasori..danna…I'm so sorry, sniff..I cried" Tears started to fall again. " Shh.. every thing's gonna be fine." Sasori comforted me and rubbed circles on my back. " Thank you" I said as I slept in his arms.

End of 4th chappie!! Please review my darling readers! Muah!!

Choco Maribel