Warning: excessive language, sexual themes (and actions), things of the like. SasoDei.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
Note: I use "hmm" as Deidara's speech impediment, so I'm (almost) sorry if it makes things harder to understand while reading. Also, for black Zetsu, his words will be underlined while he's speaking. Hidan's "Puppet Fucker" phrase is explained in this chapter, so all of you that wanted to know how human I made him (Sasori, that is), enjoy! I hope it doesn't go too much against any expectations...
Can I Love You?
Chapter 5
Shit, Dei... If you only knew how much I want to... but I just can't. I want to make sure this isn't just a fling, as most would call it. I want to wait. Even though I hate waiting with a passion, for Deidara, I think I'll let this one time slip. I want this to last. I don't want it to end up resembling his version of art- lasting only a second and leaving nothing but destruction in its wake.
"Dei... I.. just can't. I'm sorry, but I can't. It's not that I don't want to, damn, how I want to... but I just can't bring myself to do that to you. I just fucking met you today for cryin' out loud! It's rushing things too much. I hate waiting, but... I want this to mean something, Deidara. I don't want this to end horribly and blow up in my face. I.. I am so sorry, Deidara-kun." I ran. I literally ran down the hallway, out of the school, and to my house. The whole time, I was trying to ignore the sad, confused look that had taken refuge in those beautiful blue eyes the very second I said "I can't."
I curled up on my couch, burying my face in the cushion. I'm pathetic. For a person like me, who has erased countless enemies- even mere annoyances- from the face of this earth, to be afraid of being rejected... it's pathetic at it utmost pure. Shifting slightly, I watched as the faint sunlight reflects off of my arm. How will he react if I tell him the truth? When I tell him the truth? Will he be disgusted? Don't think about, Sasori. Just go to sleep. And, for once listening to the little voice in my head, I did. I fell asleep gazing at the wooden and metal joints and carved, almost plastic "skin" that was the majority of my body.
"N- no! Not again! Don't take them again! Just let me be happy! Let me have them. Please! Just let me have my parents' bodies. Let me make them eternal so I may see their faces once more. Don't take them from me again..." Squinted eyes, one half open, stared at me. The wrinkled skin and drooping features seemed to force their supposed 'wisdom' on me.
"Why? You may create something horrible with them. I will not allow you to do this, even if you are my grandson."
"Chiyo! You evil old witch! Give me back my parents, damn it!" All my anger, all my hate, all my bloodlust and other foul emotions were directed solely on her. I saw her cringe slightly before that vile mouth of hers opened one more time.
"I will not. You will find someone or something that will replace your parents. Do not despise me for this, please, my little Scorpion. Just give up on making your parents into puppets. I will not allow it." Rage boiled within me. How could anyone ever be more important than my parents?
An image of Deidara flashed through my mind's eye and my nightmare changed.
Deidara's POV
Why was he sorry? If anything, I should have been the one apologizing. I was the one that told him to fuck me. Of course, I understand what he wants. I don't want us to be meaningless, either, but... Sasori-danna's just so hot.. Oh well. I'll give him some space. We'll move on with our... relationship... when he's ready. "I just want my Danna to be happy, hmm..."
"Yo! Blondie! What the fuck's up with yo- Wait a fucking minute. Where the Jashin-damned hell is Puppet Fucker? He just fucking leave you? Damn... of all the crazy ass shit in the world to do, he went and did that." Hidan came from the hallway he had walked down earlier, the bright and slightly less psychotic grin on his face turning into an evil-looking scowl when he didn't see Danna anywhere. Was I really staring after him for that long? Or does Kakuzu-san and Hida-kun just have really quick sex? Doesn't matter. Hidan turned around and started yelling at a seemingly random doorway. "Hey, 'Kuzu... we're gonna go get that damn wooden dumbass fucker and bring him back here to Blondie, okay? I fucking knew you'd understand!"
Kakuzu-san stepped out of the doorway looking just as disheveled as Hidan- mask skewed and clothes rumpled. "Damn it, Hidan. I told you not to call me that. And Sasori's probably wanting to be left along right now, idiot. Honestly, I wonder at times how you can be a high priest if you're this stupid."
"Umm.. Hidan-kun, hmm... why do you call Sasori-danna 'puppet fucker,' hmm? He doesn't actually have sex with puppets, does he, hmm?" How would that even be possible? Never mind. Ignore it. Don't think about it. Eww... I thought about it.
"Oh, that? It's 'cause the fucker has made puppets since as long as I can fucking remember. He even made a few that looked like himself. But the real reason is 'cause of an accident the damn heathen had a few years ago. His whole damn house burned down. The fire killed his parents before he could find them to get them out, and while he was looking for them, I guess some boards or something fell on him and destroyed his arms completely and fucked up his legs pretty bad. He's got burn scars all over where his actual skin still is. I think his grandmother was the first paramedic there, so she took him to the hospital and did the whole surgery herself. She connected the remaining nerve endings to the prosthetic limbs of one of Sasori's puppets, and a few weeks later, he was moving around like normal. Plus, he can fucking control things like puppets. It's cool and all, but damn if it ain't freaky." I knew my mouth was hanging open in shock. Sasori-danna... was part puppet? No fucking way!
"Is that true, Kakuzu-san, hmm?" Thank Kami, my voice didn't waver.
"...yes. But he's extremely self-conscious about it. That, and his pride would be hurt if he ever found out that we told you. If you have any qualms with it, learn to deal with them by the time he tells you himself. He cares about, Iwa-kun. Don't hurt him, or you'll have the whole damn Akatsuki after your ass in revenge. Now, I'm going to the Student Coucil meeting. I need to make sure nobody took any money." And so he walked off, muttering, "...stupid bastards. They don't even know that I'm taking money from Student Council to help run Akatsuki... Fucking dumbass school programs..."
I sat down in the hallway and let my thoughts mull over what I had just learned about my Danna.
Time skip: a few months later/ Sasori's POV
Deidara has been so distant. I know that it's more than likely my fault, but... I don't like it. I want to be able to- no. Stop thinking like that. I don't need that kind of problem in school again. Focusing back to the matter at hand, I need to know why he's been pushing me away so much these past few months.
"Brat... Just how long do you plan to keep on avoiding me? It won't last forever, you know. I'll still be here, and I'm not leaving you." It was the truth. Dei had passed his initiation easily (stealthily getting rid of the leader of a different school's main gang... of course, he did blow up the kid's car, laughing as he ran off yelling about how that was true art), and he was my partner now. Regardless of whatever kind of problem he was having, I wouldn't leave his side.
"Danna... I.. I wasn't meaning to avoid you, hmm. I was just trying to give you some space, so we could move on when you were ready, hmm. S... Sorry, Sasori-danna, hmm." Damn that boy. He looks too cute! The light blush on his cheeks... fuck. You know what, screw it. Screw waiting more than this. It has been fucking months, and that's the longest it's going to ever be.
"Deidara, look at me. Close your eyes." I laughed at the glare he gave me. "I promise I won't do anything to hurt you, okay? Just don't open your eyes until I tell you to." His eyes fluttered closed and I took his hand in mine and led him down the hallway. We went through the library, into one of the offices, and through the back door in the small room. We were in a fair sized room that I went to when I just needed to get away. It helps to have a cousin whose father runs the damn school. Thank you, Gaara's dad. I made Dei sit down in one of the chairs and took off my shirt. And, no, I was not stripping for the hell of it or because I wanted to fuck him- though I really did want to- I did it so I could finally show him my biggest secret. I stood directly in front of him, fighting the urge to put my shirt back on and cover the round burn direcly above my heart and the scars that clearly showed where the real me gave way to the wood and metal and plastic.
"Dei... open your eyes. Please, don't hate me. I know it's probably horrifyin-" my verbal self mutalation was cut short by Deidara's mouth pressed firmly on my own.
"Danna, you could never be horrifying, hmm. You're beautiful. But, you aren't the only one with a secret, hmm." What the hell was he talking about?
-Okay! fifth chapter, done! I think this may just be the longest chapter yet. Sorry if you were expecting a lemon, or other kind of citrus fruit, bu I just could bring myself to write it. Yet, that is. Let me know if it was any good, please. If my pride would allow me, I'd beg, but I'd be begging to a computer and... You know what, screw my pride. I am now officially begging. Review or pm me if you have ideas for future chapters, and I'll try to incorporate them. Until then,
-Akari's Blood