I realized I forgot to mention theyre kind of OOC , but its not in a bad way at least I don't think but enjoy and thanks for the reviews.
It was the last period and Clare sat in Pre-Calc with her giant gray hoodie on with her hood up. She had the headphone buds in her ear not really paying attention to the lesson considering everything was pretty simple to her. As she was going through the music list on her phone, she felt it vibrate and a message icon pop up. She clicked on it and saw it from Eli.
She weakly smiled to herself and opened it,
Hey, I was wondering can we hang out at the park today? I need someone to vent to if that's okay with you :/
Eli
She didn't have anything planned like always so she quickly responded with a Sure, what time?
Is right after school okay?
Eli
Yup that's fine ,and bad boy texting during class.
Clare
I can say the same for you.
Eli
She smiled and bothered to respond, she chose her song of interest, tugged her hoodie up more to cover herself and leaned against the wall, waiting for the bell to ring.
XXXX
Clare was walking to meet up with Eli in the park. There was only one major park in that neighborhood so she knew exactly where to head to.
She waited patiently sitting against a tree until she heard a low voice speak up, "Hey."
She looked up and saw it was Eli, "Hi, how are you?"
"I'm alright and you?" He asked sitting down.
"I'm okay." She said, taking the earphones out of her ear and stuffing it in her hoodie pocket.
"What happened today that you needed to vent?" She lowly asked in hope of comforting him.
"It's not a big thing, I don't know why I freaked but I just tried making a friend today, it was a girl and I just thought it would be easier to be friends with a girl. She completely rejected me thinking I was hitting on her saying 'go for someone your own type emo boy.' I don't understand how they judge me when they don't even know me." He said tugging his hair, clenching his jaw.
"Eli, calm down." She said pulling his hands from his hair.
"Do you know why she would act like that?" He asked.
"Well maybe she's so used to guys hitting on her that every guy that comes up to her, she thinks is trying to get with her. And as for her being rude and judgemental, that's probably just who she is. "
He nodded, "Anything happened today with you?"
"Not really, I don't try to talk to people so I don't get hurt. I don't bother to put in the effort anymore. I' have you to talk to so that's enough for me."
Eli nodded in response, "When's the next time you are going to see Ms. H?"
"Saturday I believe."
"Mind if I accompany you?"
"Nope,not at all." She smiled.
"Okay, I'm gonna head home now, See you Saturday Clare."
"Bye Eli."
XXXX
Clare was lying stomach down on her bed, roaming her laptop that night. She was listening to music clicking on random videos here and there that the website recommended. She clicked on one and instantly fell in love, the name being When she cries by Britt Nicole. The song only made her feel more depressed at the status of her life. She grabbed her scissors out of the draw and went back on her bed.
She pulled her sleeves up and looked at the already fading scars. She was planning on getting better but she was slowly backtracking. She bit her lip and she put pressure on her wrist with the interior of the scissors and slowly slid it across, a tear falling down her cheek.
She fights to find her way…..She hides and tries to pray
The tears continued to pour down her face as she slit her wrist again, putting more pressure on it, being careful not to cut too deep.
Maybe making me bleed will be answer that could wash the slate clean
She wiped her tears slitting her wrist once more before throwing the scissors across the room. She grabbed her hand towel and held it on her wrist, pressing down lightly on it. She closed the laptop and lied down on her bed.
She wonders why, does anyone hear her when she cries
She wiped her tears some more, made sure the bleeding stopped before pulling her sleeves back down to cover the scars. She cuddled in her huge, cold blanket and her eyes fluttered closed into a deep sleep.
XXXXX Saturday.
They had another session was Ms. Henderson that day. They vented about different things happening that week that frustrated them or added on to their loneliness or hate for themselves. Clare still hadn't told Ms. H about her cutting. Though she desperately wanted to, to get help; she wasn't comfortable enough to share her deepest secret. But she needed help and she knew it.
Eli was still in her house after Ms. H left.
"Can I show you something?" She asked.
"Sure." He said. She took a deep breath, got up from the couch and walked upstairs to her bedroom. Eli awkwardly sat down on her bed and Clare retrieved the scissors from her draw. She sat down and showed him them.
"Uhm why are you giving me scissors?" He questioned.
She point to the bit of blood on the scissors to see if he would get the hint.
He looked at the blood and back at her, "You cut?"
Unshed tears filled her ocean blue eyes and she nodded.
He put the scissors back on her desk and sat back down on the bed, "Why did you tell me that?"
"I just thought maybe you'd understand. I'm sorry for even showing you." She said and wiped the tears building up in her eyes.
"It's fine, I just-its nice to know someone trust me enough to tell me that. Does Ms. H know?"
Clare shook her head, "I don't know why, I just can't tell her. My body won't let me."
"You really should because that's really dangerous. How long have you been?"
"The beginning of the year, when my parents divorced."
Eli nodded and hesitantly took her hand. He used the other hand and began to slowly lift up her sleeve until she quickly pulled her arm back, "What are you doing?"
"I just wanted to see it."
She shook her head and let the tears that had been forming for the past two minutes fall down her face.
"Please." He asked.
"Why? So you can judge me? Tell me how disgusting and useless I am? How I can die? I already know that so I don't need to hear the lecture from you." She yelled, now standing up at the point.
"Clare, sit down." He said at a lower whisper. She shook her head and began to pace the room, tugging her hands through her curls.
Eli sighed and stood up lifting his sleeves fully up, to reveal his arm to her.
"Clare, look at me."
"Leave me alone." She said.
"Clare, please." She looked at him, wiped her tears that had blurred her vision and looked at him, "What?"
He moved closer to her and showed her his scars which were right below the bend of his arm. She looked at it and looked back up at him, back down at the scars.
"Why do you do it so high up?" She questioned.
"Because my wrist would be really obvious, at least I think so, so I don't do it there."
She nodded, "How you long have you been doing it?"
"Since last year." She nodded and sat back down on her bed, "I'm really sorry."
"Its okay, and as you can see I don't think it's disgusting and I don't think you're useless."
She nodded and took a deep breath, "Can I show you a song I found?"
"Sure."
She grabbed her laptop and went through her itunes, "This was the song I listened to when I last did it."
He nodded and waited for her to look for the song. She clicked on it and they sat back on her bed, listening to the song.
As the song was coming to an end Eli commented, "I don't listen to music like that but it's a really good song, I see why you like it."
She nodded, "I like it a lot."
"But shouldn't it make you not want to cut?"
"I know but it doesn't."
He nodded and closed her laptop, placing it on the floor next to her bed. "I know I'm being a hypocrite but I don't care, but when you do it you have to make sure you don't cut too deep."
"I know that, but there's no way for me to really know."
"You can feel when you're going too deep, just please be careful. I can't lose my only friend."
She nodded, "You should be careful too."
He nodded in response, "I know. I'm gonna head home tomorrow, tomorrow do you want to like go hang out. We can go out to eat or karoke or something, I just really need to get my mind off a lot, is that okay?"
"Yeah that sounds fun, just let me know what time and I'll come."
Eli nodded and got off the bed walking to the door, "Be safe." He advised referring to her weaknesses.
She faintly smiled and nodded, "You too."
Next chapter they're going to hang out and theres a big secret next chapter coming out for one of them. Review