5. P R E C A U T I O N S
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Volturi.
Of course they were coming back.
Of course they would never leave me alone . . . would never let Edward and I be.
The light airiness of the afternoon, the high spirits of preparing to live with Edward forever . . . it all fell away, leaving me with nothing but the bitter truth:
I was doomed. We were doomed.
I had not realized that I had lost consciousness until I was suddenly very aware of Edward's lips on skin, my name a soft lament of his breath.
I slowly opened my eyes, absorbing all that I could; the hard, stone composure of his expression, the taut line of his jaw.
"It's late," he murmured, his hand gently tracing the curve of my cheek. "Charlie will be worried."
I nodded robotically, slowly sitting up. I was surprised by the odd, weightless feeling that settled in my limbs. Edward seemed to sense this, and slid his arm around me, supporting my weight as I attempted to stand.
I barely noticed Alice in the corner, still as a statue, her eyes tightly closed. Meditating, I realized . . . hoping to find another future, another fate . . .
The ground felt dangerously near. I closed my eyes as the room swerved, only vaguely aware of the stone arms that caught me.
I was very aware, however, when the owner of the stone arms pressed his lips to mine. My eyes fluttered open, surprised at the intensity of the kiss. It was enough to set my heart racing, my blood boiling . . . even now, when I knew what was coming . . .
"Bella," Edward's voice was strong, firm. "I promise that we will find a way out of this. There's always a way. Never give up hope." His hand cupped my chin, lifting my face so that I could see the overwhelming declaration that touched his honey eyes; they burned with intensity, as if he had never spoken words with more truth to them.
Did I dare to feel hope? It was hard not to – easy, even, to believe that we would escape another nightmare, dodge another bullet.
But hadn't I learned before that hope was sometimes a foolish thing to hang on to?
I caught a sudden movement out of the corner of my eye; Alice had shifted in position, wearing a contemplative expression. "Not entirely unavoidable, maybe . . ." She shook her head, muttering.
Hope filled Edward's eyes, then, his hands grasping mine. "You see, Bella? All is not lost."
But again, I could sense a certain lack of confidence in his words.
The ride home was long and quiet. I was grateful that Edward could not hear the fear that rampaged through my mind, leaving violent scenarios in its wake.
In every scenario, though the contrast between each was wild, one thing rang true : it was inevitable that my forever with Edward was going to be ripped away from me.
I closed my eyes, sinking into the leather of the car seat. Why now? Everything had been going so perfectly . . . we were going to be married . . . I was going to become one of them . . .
I wasn't aware of the tears that had pushed their way out of my eyes until Edward had brushed them away, his hand soft and gentle. "Please don't be afraid. I swear to you, Bella . . . I will protect you. The Volturi will not harm you."
I wanted to believe the words; I ached to believe them.
But it wasn't only me that I was worried about.
What would happen if the Volturi took Edward, first? What if . . .
I shook my head. No. I would not allow myself to think that way. I would simply treasure each moment that Edward and I had together – for any moment could be our last.
"Would you be opposed to joining Charlie and I for dinner?" They were the first words I had spoken in a while, and in result, my voice was dry and cracked. Edward smiled lightly, his hand still resting on the curve of my cheek.
"I can't really join you for dinner, Bella . . . but I'll sit with you, if that would suffice." The dry humor in his voice had been for me, I knew; he wanted me to smile, to hold faith in his promise. And so I pulled my lips into the strongest smile that I could manage, hoping to make my expression lighten.
"We have to desensitize Charlie, after all. Get him use to the idea of spending time with his future son-in-law." That, and the fact that I refused to let Edward out of my sight. If the idea of separation had been uncomfortable before, it was now intolerable.
He studied my face for a moment, his eyes penetrating my own. I kept my features blank, hoping that my eyes wouldn't betray me.
He laughed lightly after a moment, the car pulling into the familiar driveway.
"Charlie's worried already, of course. Afraid we'll elope." He grinned. "I'm sure you wouldn't be opposed to such an idea?"
I considered the idea for a moment, though I knew that he was merely joking; he was still attempting to lighten my mood with humor. Eloping was suddenly an attractive idea; after all, the sooner the better . . .
Instead of spinning scenarios of my impending death, my mind instead imagined the alternate future, and how it would play out. The sooner we were married, the sooner Edward would be able to change me . . .
And if I were changed sooner, I wouldn't have to worry about the Volturi.
After all, why else would they be coming to kill me? Obviously, this had to do with my mortality.
I was instantly soothed; the solution to the problem was so simple. Why hadn't I thought of it before?
I knew bringing it up now would immediately darken Edward's mood, and that wouldn't be helpful – not now, when he was about to join me inside of the house. I instead packaged the thought away for later, when we would be alone . . .
I groaned inwardly. I knew how that conversation would go. Never out of fear, Edward had told me, when the similar situation had come up all but a few months ago.
No. I would make him understand – surely this was a justifiable solution, for such a reason?