7. T H E O R Y

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For the next few weeks, time passed disconcertingly quickly. Alice continued to assault me with a rapid fire of assorted wedding arrangements…you never would have thought that details like napkins would be important to a wedding, but according to Alice, such detail was crucial. I knew better, though; she was trying to distract me from thinking about the Volturi.

But while discussing flower arrangements and hor d'oeuvres was now part of my daily routine, it did little to help keep my mind from straying towards unwanted thoughts. Each day felt more like a ticking bomb, declaring how much time I had left until the Volturi's arrival.

"Listen, Bella," Alice had told me earlier today when I had asked about an update; any sort of news pertaining to what might happen. "Right now, everything's too vague for me to really give you an answer. But that means that they're indecisive; the second the future is clear, I promise to tell you. Now, would you hold still while I do this? You're only making things harder for yourself."

And so I sighed as I always did when I received such a response, and allowed her to make what felt like the thousandth adjustment to my gown.

Edward, however, seemed a little more preoccupied with the future. Although he didn't think I knew, I often saw him glancing at me with clear concern etched onto his face, as if the Volturi might burst through the door at any moment and steal me away. He kissed me more often and more passionately, and held me tighter in his arms; it was as if he valued every moment as our last.

I was sprawled across my bed that night, my chin in my hands, Edward sitting on the floor with his back pressed against the wall. I looked at him thoughtfully; he was staring at the ground, his eyes unfocused, a frown etched into his face. It wasn't hard to guess what he was thinking about.

"It's not too late, you know."

He jolted back to reality, and quickly glanced up at me. "For what?"

"You know what for." And he did; of course he did. Our ageless argument.

"Bella," He stood up slowly and I rolled over so that he could join me on the bed. "I'm not

going to lie to you; with everything going on, don't think that I haven't considered it."

I looked at him in shock; he had considered it? That couldn't be right…

Unless Alice was keeping something from me…

Edward sighed. "It just seems like…things would be easier if we would just go ahead and make the change. Don't think that you don't make sense to me Bella; in fact, in this scenario, your offer seems highly irrefutable. Why put off the inevitable? I'm all for making you safer…"

He held my hands in his now, and his eyes locked onto mine.

"And the more I think about it…Well, I'd hate to lose you because of something as frivolous as wanting to preserve your soul - which, in comparison, means nothing compared to the loss of you, all of you - especially when we are so close to leaping the final hurdle."

"Edward…you know that I'd be willing to drop everything and do it now. You know that."

He sighed again, and looked away.

"I do know that. But I also feel, partly, that doing so would be so…final. I would do anything to keep you human for just a little longer…simply because I feel that you have loose ends to tie up in your life before I steal you away."

I frowned. "There are no loose ends that can't be tied when I'm changed. I honestly believe that."

"And, Bella…I haven't forgotten your request."

Ah. I felt the white-hot heat spread from my neck and upward.

Because he was right. While I would give anything to become a vampire at this very moment, I would also give anything to live out that one last human experience first…

"I might…be willing to make an exception, Bella." His finger lightly traced the curve of my cheek, a drastic contrast to the fire beneath my skin. "Begrudgingly so, but all the same…"

I inhaled deeply, trying to clear my mind. Of course I wanted it; I wanted it with every fiber of my being. There was no doubt that Edward…would be amazing. It was hard not to let my thoughts wander, to drift lazily to the scene that I had so often imagined; Edward gently removing my gown as his hands crept beneath the fabric, his touch fire and ice at the same time…

It would be especially hard to tell him what I needed to tell him next.

"Contrary to what you might think…it's not always about me, Edward. I've gotten used to the idea of our time being after the wedding…I've even grown fond of the idea."

It was true. What had seemed deathly embarrassing months ago now seemed entirely tolerable, as the wedding date drew nearer. I somehow liked the idea of making it official; and although a man in black had little say in the matter of whether or not I was Edward's and he was mine, it would still be amazingly nice to hear it, regardless.

Edward smiled, his eyes warming in a way that made my heart flutter. "Have I finally gotten to you, then?"

I laughed lightly. "I have. And I'm willing to wait - I truly am - unless there is something that you've been keeping from me."

He looked puzzled now, the smile slowly withdrawing. "Like what?"

"Every day I ask Alice whether or not she's seen anything else, and every day, she tries to distract me…"

He didn't answer me for a long moment, and his silence was enough to accelerate my pulse in anticipation. When he finally spoke, he seemed to be very careful in the way he chose his words.

"She hasn't been lying to you, because she hasn't…seen anything, per se. The vision remains the same; the Volturi guard, arriving, at some unknown time…"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "But…?"

He smiled grimly. "Carlisle thinks that it is very telling that the Volturi themselves aren't coming along. He thinks it means that a change is taking place…something big."

"And what do you think?"

"I think he's right. The guard…Jane, in particular…their thoughts aren't quite like Aro's, for instance. Aro enjoys collecting power so that it is always in an available position; he likes to know that he has all of the aces in his hand. He might not be willing to use it in all scenarios, but it comforts him to know what he has in his deck."

"And Jane? The others?"

"They adore power. Not just having it; using it. You've seen how much she enjoys using her power; and how angered she is when it doesn't work. Vampires like Jane enjoy causing people pain, simply because they relish the idea of being above someone, of crushing them…"

"So, what do you think that means in relevance to what's happening?"

"Let me finish. People like Jane, with an offensive power especially, believe that it is foolish not to use it at all costs, as a necessary method of gaining everything that they want; in their case, domination."

"So…the guard members are tired of having a backseat role?"

"Precisely. They've had enough with Aro and his antics; they're tired of simply possessing power, when they have a chance at actually using it."

I took a moment to absorb the information. Jane herself was leagues more frightening than Aro…and if it was truly domination that she sought…

"But I would have thought that the Volturi were coming to punish us for not yet having turned me…if your theory is correct, then…?"

He shook his head at me. "Our best guess is that they're coming for our 'coven', and not for you. Of course, seeing as you might pose a threat to them once you become one of us - you've seen how much Aro would have liked to have added you to his collection - they might think it wise that they get rid of you in the process."

I could not stop myself from shivering. Edward's hands were suddenly cradling my face, his eyes intense. "But we wouldn't let that happen; Bella, you must understand that!"

And I did. But that wasn't what was bothering me.

Our best guess is that they're coming for our 'coven', and not for you…

I could not bear the idea of having anything happen to any of the Cullens…they were my family now.

And Edward…

"If they came tomorrow…would you be ready for them?"

It wasn't an easy question to ask, and Edward seemed to have trouble answering it; most likely because he was debating over whether or not I should hear the truth.

"I don't know," he whispered, his eyes having trouble meeting mine. "I really don't know. That's why I'm so worried. About you. About everything."

I nodded, and positioned myself so that I was curled up against his chest. "You need to be ready. I need you to tell me that you all will be ready in time."

The next answer was difficult for him as well: "I can't tell you that, and be telling the truth. There is no way of knowing when they will be arriving…and there is no way of truly knowing if we will be ready."

We didn't speak after that, but as I grew too tired to stay awake, silent tears streamed down my cheeks; Edward didn't notice.

"You need to be ready. I can't lose you either, you know."

The catch in my breath gave me away. As I slipped into what was sure to be an array of troublesome dreams, he pulled me closer to his form, his lullaby for me soft in my ear.

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It's been a while, but I'm back! (:

(Please excuse the poor formatting for this chapter…I'm using Microsoft Works now, which seems to not work in quite the same way as Microsoft Word…ah well. Seriously though, it SUCKS.)