You are very brave for this task…
Yes, that's what the Allfather may have thought, but he could not have been more incorrect about me. I was not brave for this task. I was a coward. What woman wouldn't be? What woman would be brave enough to marry a man whom she had never known in her life, purely so that they could produce a powerful offspring who could aid in bringing peace to the realms? What woman would be brave enough to leave her home, her loved ones, and her life behind to a completely different world? None would.
I knew I shouldn't have dawdled in gathering my belongings, but I couldn't help myself. I couldn't help but look over every tiny trinket in my possession and allow the memories of their origins to flood back to my memory. I couldn't help but let the tears fall as I reminisced on my childhood…my adolescence…my home. What saddened me most, was the issue of what exactly to bring. I couldn't bring all of my belongings to Asgard, as I am expected to adapt to their lifestyles, and fashion. I am expected to leave anything belonging to Vanahemir tonight.
I absentmindedly fingered the tiny locket that lay around my neck. It was a gift my Father had received from the Light Elves of Álfheimr. It was bestowed upon me for good luck, however I got an eerie feeling that its luck was fading. This locket will be my only memory… Suddenly I froze, as the familiar sound of my Fathers voice echoed through out my mind.
"I would speak words with you, daughter. Before you depart from this realm."
I turned around and found him standing in the doorway of my chambers, looking weary and terribly sad. His hands were folded gracefully in front of him, and I could feel his aura all around him – as he did his best to cover his feelings of sadness. Upon seeing his familiar face, all my questions from only moments ago came spilling back into my mind.
"Father, why have you allowed this to happen to me?" I said, rather quickly. "This is all so sudden… I've only met the man only moments ago! I mean… An arranged marriage? Father… What have I done to deserve this?" I hopelessly stared into his eyes, searching for an answer to any of my questions.
He sighed, and averted my gaze. "Rowen… This marriage has been planned since your birth. In fact, it was the sole purpose of your birth." My heart sank like lead straight into my stomach. For a moment, the entire world around me seemed to have frozen as I processed this latest blow. Since birth? The sole purpose of my birth was to marry a stranger of Asgard in order to strengthen an alliance that was stronger than any made in the entirety of the nine realms?
"W-what?" I breathed, staring up at my Father in utter disbelief. "You're…You're lying. Surely, you are lying!"
He shook his head, slowly, "I am afraid not, my child. When the Master Loki was born, the Allfather told me and your mother of his unusual talents. He thought he may have been blessed with Vanir traits, as he is keen in sorcery. This baffled your mother and I, as he had no such access to our traits. This got the Allfather thinking… The Nouns had always prophesied that the first born child of your mother and I would be the strongest Seer that Vanahemir has seen in centuries. Your birth was already highly anticipated, and with Master Loki's such strong and unique gifts… Well… You can imagine what the Allfather thought."
My mouth was hanging open in horror at my Fathers words, and hot tears were building up in my eyes. "You knew… You knew I was destined for this life from the beginning?" He nodded. "Why didn't you tell me? Why? Why wasn't I given time to…prepare? How could you have kept this from me for my entire life?" My voice had risen to a shout, and the walls echoed of my last statement.
"I was protecting you. If we would have told you your path from the beginning, you would not have been focused nearly as hard as you were when you did your training on your abilities. We could not risk-"
"Could not risk what?" I shouted, "You couldn't risk me being an embarrassment to the family? To Vanahemir? You didn't suppose that perhaps I would study harder?"
"Rowen, you would have done all in your power to stop this. You know it to be true." As much as I did, I could not bring myself to admit it.
I was nothing more but a pawn: a powerful pawn to be moved around the chessboard of my life by the Allfather and my parents. Yes, I knew my birth had been prophesized by the Nouns, but this? This was impossible. It had to be, it must be!
"So I was just another prop, used at the Allfather's expense? Just another prophecy, a prediction made up by the so called 'powerful' women in Álfheimr!" My voice was steadily rising, as my anger and frustration spread through out my veins like venom, "A prediction, not even a person, used to bring together an unnecessary bond at the will of an old man?" I was shouting now, and my Father's eyes were filled with sadness as he stared after me.
"Rowen, no, you do not understa-"
"Oh, I understand perfectly, Father," I spat, feeling my anger rise, as it aligned itself with my powers, "You willingly stood aside while the Allfather auctioned off your first born to his magical boy." My hands were clenched into fists now, and I could feel the veins in my head pounding with my frustration, they were pounding with magic. "You, who claimed to have loved me and raised me to be loyal to this realm, just to tell me that it was all for naught. That it was only a fantasy."
"Rowen, please…"
"No!" I shouted, "You filled my head with fantasies! You told me I would be the greatest Seer Vanahemir has ever seen! You claimed that I would one day rule as you do, and you lied! You lied to me!" I could feel the sudden hatred for my Father and for the Allfather rising in my chest, beginning to reach its boiling point. My powers were building up in my mind, taking over my conscience and manipulating it into a rabid monster, hungry for vengeance. My hands clenched tighter together, and just as I was to unleash the wrath of my mind and my powers onto my Father, I was suddenly blasted backward, the wind knocked out of me and my mind lost of all power.
"Enough!" My Father shouted, the sound of the blast echoing about my chambers and the Silver Halls outside. "I shall not discuss the matter with you any longer, Rowen. Leave. Leave these Halls. You shall not keep the Allfather waiting any longer."
I looked up at my Father, my hatred and anger draining out of me and being replaced with searing guilt for what I was about to do to my Father. Tears were streaming down my face, and a painful silence filled the chambers as I remained on the floor, staring down at my Fathers feet. I slowly rose, but refrained from looking my Father in the eyes. How could I after what I had done? I had never lost control of myself or my powers in decades, yet, here and now, I was willing and more than ready to attack my Father with my own mind. He had sensed it, of course, and had to stop me, yet why not stop me sooner if he knew all along what my anger was driving me to do? I wiped away my tears with the palms on my hands and walked over to the door of my chambers, where my Father stood, his chest rising and falling dramatically. I stopped in front of him.
"I am truly sorry, Father," I whispered, too ashamed to look him full in the face. "Forgive me for my actions. I am sorry for disappointing you." I was about to walk away from him and into my new future with the Allfather that awaited me in Asgard, but my Father put a hand on my shoulder, stopping me.
He sighed deeply, "No, Rowen. It is I who is sorry. You are right. I did lie to you, but you must understand that it was to protect you, to save you from growing up with out a childhood. To save you from growing up dreading this day. I thought keeping you in the dark would only make you happier, for I thought ignorance was bliss. How wrong I was! I shall forgive your outburst, if and only if, you can forgive me."
My eyes overflowed with tears as I could no longer hold in my emotions of grief and sorrow. I flung my arms around my Fathers neck, and wept into his long, silver hair. He embraced me in a loving hug, and patted my head, softly.
I know you doubt the Allfather, Rowen. His voice rang through out my mind, But he is correct, you know. You are brave enough for this task. I know it. Asgard is lucky to have such a strong and intelligent woman as their new princess. You shall make Vanahemir proud.
But I wish to make you proud, Father. That is all I want out of this. It was true. I didn't care if I eventually fell in love with Loki, or if we spent the rest of our lives in a painful silence, never speaking to each other. All I wanted was to make my Father proud. I felt him smile against my hair, and he gave me another pat on the head.
You have, my child. And you will only continue to do so. I pulled apart from our embrace to find my Father smiling proudly at me. His eyes still possessed traces of sadness, but they shone with happiness.
He gave my arm a squeeze, and led me out of the doorway into the Silver Halls. I couldn't help but reminisce on my childhood, and what it was like growing up in these mysterious Silver Halls. Every memory I had about Vanahemir seemed to rush back to me with each step that drew me nearer to my new life with new memories to be made. Though I found it difficult to see past the sadness that filled me, I thought I felt a tiny gleam of excitement stir in my heart. Or perhaps that was just wishful thinking?
When we finally rounded the corner that led to the Hall where my Fathers throne sat, the Allfather stood at the entrance, with his two sons, who were curiously looking around.
The Allfather greeted me with a comforting smile, "Asgard awaits you," he said. At this, Loki turned his head in my direction and met his gaze with mine. Something about his eyes was so…different. I wasn't sure whether I was to trust him or fear him, but I was sure to find out soon enough.
After a moment, I turned and looked at my Father, while my Mother stood a few inches behind him, tears glistening in her eyes. I ran up to both of them, and threw my arms around their necks, while a few silent tears fell from my eyes once more.
I'll miss you so much. I thought to both of them, I'll never forget you.
My mother's voice replied to me first, You are ready for this, my daughter. If the fates bring us together again, I will rejoice. You are ready… She gave me a tight squeeze. After my Mother and Father released me, I stared deeply into my Fathers eyes.
Never forget Vanahemir, Rowen. Though your new home is Asgard, never forget where you're true home is. He smiled at me, and leaned in to kiss my forehead. I felt his love spread from the kiss on my forehead, down to the tips of my toes. It felt as though he had just wrapped me in a warm blanket, a blanket of his protection.
I gave my parents a final bow, and turned on my heel, ready to face Asgard. As I walked forward towards the Allfather and his sons, I instantly felt intimidated by these men. All three looked down at me, all with such different expressions. The Allfather was beaming at me through his white beard, while a soft smile played on Thor's lips and excitement shone in his blue eyes. Loki, on the other hand, had an expression that I couldn't decide on was either nervousness or annoyance. His lips made a thin line, and his eyes bore into mine with the strangest expression shining in them. I nervously bit my lip, and broke our gaze, once again feeling frustrated with the Allfather for blocking my connections in order to attempt to see what Loki was thinking under his dark, slicked back hair.
Our footsteps echoed through out the Halls as the Allfather lead the way out of our modest Palace and out into the warm day on Vanahemir. As we reached the outdoors, I took in the sights and sounds around me, the realization that I would never see such things again dawned on me quite heavily. I gazed up at the blue sky, and silently prayed to the Goddess Frigga to aid my saddened heart. The Allfather led us out onto the final stone steps that lead out of the Palace grounds, where a large circle lay imprinted on the ground while strange markings made up its circumference. I tilted my head, inspecting this strange object, when I heard a chuckle from my right.
"You have never traveled by the Bifröst before, have you?" Thor asked me. I shook my head sheepishly, which made Thor chuckle again. "Well, it's not entirely the most pleasant way to travel," he said, smiling, "But it gets easier along with time." I tried not to look as nervous as I felt, but I knew I was failing.
"You stand here, dear, next to Loki," the Allfather said, pointing at a spot in the strange circle that was directly next to the mysterious Loki. I nodded and moved next to him, feeling his eyes pierce into my face. I kept my eyes on the Allfather, awaiting my next instruction.
"How does it work?" I asked, looking nervously to Thor.
"Heimdall." He replied, excitement brightening up his face.
Before I could open my mouth to ask what he meant, I felt a rush in my stomach. I looked down and a bright light was enveloping all four of us within it. It was almost blinding, and though it made my eyes water to leave them open, I simply couldn't shut them. I suddenly felt as though a strong but invisible force was pulling me upwards and sure enough it was. My feet left the ground, and before I could even look back to Vanahemir, it was gone with the flash of bright colors, while a high pitched whistling of the wind rang in my ears. I couldn't tell what was going on exactly, but from what I could gather, we were moving fast, very fast, and through space. I looked around, and I saw the constellations fly by my eyes. I tried to make them out but we were moving much to fast. The whirling of the wind grew louder and louder, and I tried to look for Thor, Loki or the Allfather, but all I saw around me were crimson, emerald and gold streaks. I tried once more to look around me, to see what or where this force was doing all this, but just as suddenly has it had all begun, it stopped. Solid ground rammed itself from under my feet and my knees buckled under me. I fell to the ground, only it wasn't ground that I fell on. It was a hard floor. I stared around me and saw that I was in a circular room, a brilliantly gold circular room where the floor was black and white, while a beautiful mural was painted on the walls of this place.
My head moved rapidly around as I processed all that I was in, until I froze. A man, a giant of a man stood in front of me, holding a sword that was almost my height. He was dressed in fine armor, and held the sword in front of him, as if it were a staff. I couldn't see his face, as his helmet covered most of it, but what I could see were his eyes, which were the rich color of gold. Suddenly, he gave a soft laugh.
"Is this the Vanir?" he asked in a low voice that rumbled the floor.
"Yes, Heimdall," said the Allfather, walking over to him, "This is Rowen Arnginerr." Heimdall bowed his head to me, and I returned it, only to realize after my gesture that I was still on the floor. I got up quickly and smoothed my dress, hoping that I didn't look as ridiculous as I felt.
"Heimdall is Asgard's gatekeeper," The Allfather explained, "An enemy has never slipped past his watch. He controls the Bifröst, and does so well." At the Allfather's words, Heimdall bowed his head, smiling proudly. "Now," Odin said, smiling at me, "Onward to Asgard."
AN: I'm sure you guys all notice the parallels between Loki and Rowen as far as their upbringing and their pasts go. This will come into play in later chapters. Thanks for reading! :)