MacKenzie – Straight-up
By Mickey

STORY STATUS: Completed 10/2/2007

WORD COUNT: 1,169

AUTHORS NOTE: Many thanks to my beta reader, Cyn. It's always kinda irked me a bit that most (though not all) writers tend to cast MacKenzie as an evil, manipulative, bastard whose out to get O'Neill. I just don't see it. He certainly isn't a favorite of mine, but I don't see him as a bad guy. Here's my take on how MacKenzie feels about Jack.

The nerve of that man! Does he seriously think being a Senator gives him the right to come in here and tell me how to do my job? I mean really, coming in to my office like that, trying to act like he's my friend and we're just having a casual conversation. He came in all calm and cool at first and started off seemingly innocently by asking me about my personal opinion of O'Neill and his ability to function as an officer, as the leader of SG-1, and as the second in command of the SGC. After a few minutes of vague answers or silence in response to his questions, he moved on to asking about O'Neill's progress and when he'd be starting sessions with me about the incident and what my recommendation would be. Of course, I couldn't tell him even if I wanted to.

Which I don't.

Honestly, did he really think I didn't see through his act as soon as he mentioned the colonel's name?

When the buddy-buddy approach didn't get him anywhere he became progressively more irate until he actually demanded that I recommend Colonel O'Neill be committed to a psychiatric institution. If he knew me at all, he would never have even attempted that approach.

No one tells me how to treat my patients.

Then he started ranting about reckless the colonel is and how he is doing such a great disservice and so on to the SGC. He called O'Neill an arrogant, self-serving, son of-a-bitch (among other things) who is using the Stargate to further his own agenda (can you say paranoia?). The only "agenda" Colonel O'Neill and the other members of SG-1 have is to protect this planet.

He didn't look too happy when I said, "Mister Pot, meet Mister Kettle." I wish I'd had my camera handy. I would have loved to have gotten a picture of his expression at that. Talk about priceless.

Yes, yes, I know. Not very professional of me. Even I have my moments. I believe even O'Neill would have liked that one. Probably would want copies of the pictures. If I'd managed to get any that is.

As for Colonel O'Neill, we've had our differences in the past, particularly when it comes to psychiatric matters - and specifically when it comes to my having Daniel Jackson committed - but I can't say that I hate the man. I'm not really sure where Kinsey got that idea from. The fact is, I respect the colonel. I have rarely met a man so willing to sacrifice himself, if necessary, to save others. Even people who doesn't know or like. That he does it without having a death wish is all the more amazing.

Yes, I know his commanding officer at the time, General West, chose him for the original trip through the gate because it was supposed to be a suicide mission. From what I've read of the original mission reports and the report by the psychiatrist who did his review upon his return, and from what I've seen in my time here, that O'Neill is long gone.

I'll admit that he and I will never be buddies, pals, best friends, or more than co-workers for that matter. Sure, I like him well enough, though I know the feelings are not mutual, but I know I will never go to his home (nor will he ever come to mine) for a friendly visit. Nor we will ever have a beer together at the local bar. And that's fine with me.

I don't take O'Neill's attitude towards me or my profession personally. I've seen his records concerning the psychiatric care he's had in the past and I can't say I blame him. Some of those men shouldn't be allowed to council a telephone pole never mind a soldier. I realize he may never forgive me for what he considers a serious mishandling of Doctor Jackson's case when I had him committed, and that's fine too. I realize, given the nature of what these people deal with everyday, I may have jumped the gun but, given the information I had at the time and given the fact that none of the other members of SG-1 were affected, I stand by my decision. Whether any of them believe me or not, I'm glad I was wrong.

I know how our first session will go. He'll come into my office, plop on my couch, and declare himself "fine". I will, as always, patiently explain to him that he is not fine; that no one could be after dealing with what he was put through. He will spend the remainder of that session staring at me in silence as he fiddles with everything and anything he can get his hands on. The next couple of sessions will go similarly until he slowly reveals just enough to get me to clear him for duty, throwing in just enough sarcastic remarks to cover the hurt and fear he does such a great job of covering up. I've learned just how far I can push before he clams up completely.

Although somewhat grudgingly, I must admit he is remarkable well-adjusted considering what he's been through. I've had men committed or whom I have recommended undergo long term treatment, some of whom I'm working with now, who haven't experienced half the horrors Colonel O'Neill has. Some of his demons come from things that have happened in his personal life. The death of his father when he was still very young, the loss of his beloved grandfather a few years later, and the tragic death of his son just barely scrapes the top of the barrel of heartbreaks he's endured. The fact that he has retained the ability to care so deeply about others, especial perfect strangers, is truly amazing.

Much as I would love to gag him at times, as I'm sure the general would like to do as well, there is no way that I can, in good conscious, recommend O'Neill be committed when I haven't even spoken to him yet. Knowing him the way I do though, I doubt this time will be any different then the others. I know everyone has their limit, their own breaking point, and that O'Neill will eventually reach his if he keeps this up, I just pray this isn't that time.

He's a stubborn, often condescending, infuriatingly closed-mouthed (when it comes to dealing with his thoughts and feelings after he's been hurt or tortured), smart-assed son-of-a-bitch. Knowing what I do about his past, I'd say he's earned the right to be that way. To a certain extent, anyway. The fact is, we need more men and women with his compassion and dedication. I will not be a party to Kinsey's agenda. I will not, in anyway, be a party to any plan that includes trying to remove O'Neill from this command. His team, the members of the SGC, hell the whole planet, needs him.

I wish him well.

TBC