Chapter 21: Confidence
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The next morning, Lin Qiang stared at a monstrous stack of metal chopsticks, knives and spoons.
"Polish those," said an old woman with dishpan hands so bad they looked more like hawk talons than human hands. "I'll be back later."
Lin was still staring at the stack after the woman had left. She didn't know how to polish anything. She was sick, too. She felt like throwing up on these assorted metal objects instead of polishing them. The very sight of them had made her sick.
"What are you up to?" Sura asked, coming up from behind.
"I'm supposed to be polishing all those things, but I don't know how," Lin answered, still studying the silverware.
"Was it a command or a suggestion?" Sura asked with a smirk.
"A command." Lin sighed. A command meant she didn't have to think.
"How long did they tell you to work at it?"
Lin stiffened, and then she smirked, too. "They didn't tell me how long."
"Do you even have to do it now?" Sura asked, picking up one of the chopsticks delicately between two fingers.
"No, the lady didn't say so." Lin smiled fully.
"So we can conclude what?"
"That I don't have to do this!" Lin was almost hopping up and down with excitement.
"So, let's sit down and have a talk," Sura said, still turning the chopstick over in her hand.
"All right!" Lin flopped to the ground, smiling expectantly.
Sura dropped down, too, and locked eyes with the other woman. "If you were given the chance to fight, how would you do it?"
Lin blinked. "But fighting is bad! It makes things messy!"
"What if someone attacked you?" Sura asked, looking around to make sure no one was watching.
Lin pictured the scene in her head. A guard would come charging towards her, and she would back away, giving herself enough space before the attack. She would crouch slightly in preparation, and she'd decide whether to pin the legs, just the arms, or both. "I would make sure they were unable to move. If given the proper tools, I could pin them to the wall before they had any idea what was coming."
Sura saw that Lin was staring into space. "Who taught you to do that?"
"Nobody. I taught myself. I was bored." Lin locked eyes with Sura. "I was left alone a lot when I was a kid, so I decided to throw things. I got good at it, and the rest is history." Lin shrugged.
"What did you do with your talent?" Sura prodded.
"When I went to school, I met a girl who was interested in those talents." Lin stared at the chopstick Sura was still flipping carelessly in her hand. It was like she was becoming transfixed. "She took me to her house. It was a big house. I remember she introduced me to the best friend I ever had. And I think she had a brother." Lin's eyes lit up at the mention of the girl's brother, though quickly the light faded. "But for some reason I can't think of what they looked like. Any of them. The girl, my best friend, or the brother." The concentrated, determined look on Lin's face dissolved. "But that doesn't matter."
"Yes, it does!" Sura sat up, putting a hand on Lin's shoulder. "You're losing your identity. You need to try to remember!" A thought occurred to Sura. She pressed the chopstick into Lin's palm. "What does the feel of this in your hand say to you?"
Lin looked up at Sura, then back down at the chopstick, closing her fingers around it. "I— I want to throw this." Lin sprang to her feet, enjoying the rush it gave her and ignoring the dizziness that threatened to overwhelm her; just the anticipation was enough to keep her strong. But it did not satisfy her for long. She spotted a tea strainer with holes that would just be big enough. She picked up the strainer and threw it. Her sharp eyes isolated the hole that was in the best place, the chopstick crossing the air as soon as the thought crossed her mind.
Sura's eyes widened at the sight of the porcelain tea strainer stuck to the wall with the sharp chopstick through it. "How did that feel?" she asked distantly, knowing the prompt was necessary but not completely recovered from the sight.
"It wasn't boring!" Lin had a jubilant grin on her face. She whipped around, snatched up more utensils and threw them at intervals, making the sign of Fire on a nearby cabinet. She laughed.
"That was great, Lin! Just— keep it down. We don't want someone to interrupt." Sura didn't want to end her friend's fun, but it wouldn't be funny if this progress were lost, too.
"Right. Quiet. Nobody should know where I am or what I'm doing. I'm as silent and unseen as a shadow." Lin's voice softened, deepened, evened out. She turned to Sura. For a moment, her eyes registered only glee at the release from drudgery. Then, she half smiled. "Thank you so much, Sura." She reached over and gave Sura a tight hug.
"You're welcome, of course. But we can't just let anyone know you're doing this."
"I promise—"
"What is this?" It was the same guard from yesterday. He was staring at the symbol of the Fire Nation on the cabinet.
"Just showing some patriotism. Something wrong with that?" Lin took an aggressive posture, her eyes in ferocious slits, readying herself to enact the real reason for her gift.
"No, nothing's wrong." The soldier backed away. Suddenly, a throwing star flew through the air and landed next to Sura. "That's for yesterday!" he yelled.
Lin stared at the throwing star. Quickly, she noted that it was dull. It wasn't meant to kill but to stun. But it was still a throwing weapon. Moving like a catapult's arm when released, Lin's body bent gracefully as she pulled the throwing star from the ground. "This is for every day of your sorry life!" she yelled and threw it at the man. It lodged in his armor between chest plates. "Is that clear?" Lin asked dryly. She straightened, regarding the man, her muscles still ready to spring into action again if needed.
The guard tried to look casual as he tugged on the throwing star. It wouldn't move.
Lin smiled at him. "Don't play with those things if you don't know what you're doing."
Sura was looking from Lin to the guard. She hadn't known Mai was capable of coming through like this. But maybe it was time to put a stop to this before—
"You'd better get out of here now." Lin stalked closer to the guard.
"I have the power here, not you." The guard didn't sound so certain any more.
"Oh, really?" Lin grabbed a handful of knives. "Last time I checked, I was the one who could aim."
The guard looked at Lin one last time and then bolted from the room, tripping on some ice in the doorframe as he went.
Lin stared after him. "Will they believe him?" she asked.
"Probably." Sura sighed, coming out of her reverie. "You're going to get in trouble."
"It was worth it," Lin said wistfully, plucking knives from the cabinet door.
"Well, we should get out of here either way. He'll be looking for us here."
"Sure!" Lin felt a surge of excitement at the thought of rebelling. "Where are we going to hide from the rules?"
Sura smirked at Lin's exuberance. "Just follow me. And keep a low profile!"
Lin grinned. "I can be stealthy! See?" Lin took a few steps—completely silent ones. She stopped near the door. After taking one quick look at Sura, silently requesting permission, she slowly eased the door open.
"You're good. Did someone teach you that? Or did you teach yourself how to sneak around, too?"
"Just like with the knives," Lin said, "I was bored. I wanted to escape. So I did."
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"Slowly," Sura instructed, "one foot at a time."
Lin concentrated on making her motions fluid. "It's like sneaking," she commented, more to herself than Sura. "One at a time, controlled, graceful."
"That's right. Have you ever done this before?"
"I don't think I've ever seen this much ice before!" Lin laughed. "Your waterbending thing is so amazing." Lin looked over at Sura, and then that realized she didn't know how to stop. "Sura!" she cried in terror. What if she just kept going and going until she knocked into something? How would she get up again?
Sura raised an eyebrow at her. "What's wrong?" Then Sura noticed the erratic movements Lin was making. She sighed. "I'm sorry I forgot to teach you how to stop." She skated over to her friend, stopping a few feet ahead of her. "Just put your feet at an angle, like this."
Lin examined Sura's feet, skating a circle around her until she'd seen it well enough, and finally stopped. "Right?"
"Right." Sura smiled. "You're a natural."
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That evening, during her daily treatment, Lin looked at the general with a renewed pride. "You can't tell me what to think," she said. "I'm my own person. If I had a knife with me, I could kill you right now."
"I don't doubt it, Lin Qiang," said the general, pacing closer to her, menace rising in his eyes. "I've seen your work. However, now you are a slave of the Order. You are no longer your own person. You work for us, do our bidding, and will never escape."
"Says you," Lin shot back.
"Everything I say, you must do."
"Only in your dreams," Lin said with just as much force and menace as was being aimed at her. The light was making it hard to concentrate on her resolve, though, and it was slipping.
"I need Lilly Powder over here!" the general called.
Lin watched as a man approached with a vial. She remembered only now that they would always feed her this before she would lose herself under layer upon layer of lies. She squirmed. She yelled. She bit the hands that were trying to force the powder down her throat. But her protests were in vain.
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Sura entered Mai's room again that night. This time she brought rags, planning to use them to mop Mai's forehead as needed.
"How many times do I have to kiss you before you understand that I find you attractive?" Mai, soundly asleep, asked with a smirk.
Sura chuckled. At least it was a happy dream this time.
"I don't care about your scar. Actually, I take it back; I think it makes you look better. So just stop worrying!"
Sura leaned against the wall. She only needed to interfere if Mai had a nightmare. Why should she end this dream? It was probably healthy.
"Are you addicted to worry?" Mai chided gently. "I'm telling you, just calm down, Zuko! I love you!" Mai squeezed a pillow.
Sura restrained a laugh. "You two are so cute," she whispered.
"Go away, Ty Lee," Mai muttered.
Now Sura did laugh. So Mai had a friend who genuinely talked to her like that back home? The Fire Nation court was becoming a far more solid image in Sura's mind. She sat cross-legged by the door. "Sweet dreams, my lady," she said.
"No more teasing, Ty! Can't you see we're busy?" Mai turned over in her sleep.
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Many thanks to the people who were kind enough to review: gloomy maiko lover, hoot48, imsunprincess54, Kimjuni2, and TheGobe.