Chapter 23: Desperation
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"The Fire Lord and the Avatar are approaching with their friends," a tall guard with a burn scar across his nose announced. He stood in the governor's office.
The governor glanced up. "Well then, it appears our plan to simply degrade the Fire Lady won't work. Cancel today's dose of Lilly Powder. She'll be taking cinchophen today."
The guard bowed formally, and then hurried off to the herbalist to deliver the orders.
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"Did I hear you right? The governor wants me to overdose someone on cinchophen? But that will take forever. If he's trying to kill someone, he should do it with something that'll take less time."
"I don't ask questions, I just deliver messages."
"Then I'll just get on it," the herbalist replied with a shrug.
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The lantern travelled endlessly along its track before the woman's eyes.
"You follow orders without question. Orders are the only thing you respond to."
"I've heard this one before," the woman said, trying to stay calm. "I believe you've told me so many times this week. It's getting boring."
"You're not supposed to talk back. All of this treatment should have changed you more."
She forced something of a smirk. "I guess you just don't know people as well as you think you do." There. That sounded fittingly demoralizing. Lin hoped that the haughty manipulator got the message.
"I will have no more of your defiance!" The general firebended the lantern's light, brightening it, drawing a whimper from the woman, who was restrained beyond escape. The general smiled. "What was that you were saying?"
"I was done talking." The girl's voice trembled a bit, but she still had defiance in her eyes.
"Then it's time to break you." The man signaled to a guard standing nearby. "Lilly Powder?"
"Um, not today, sir. Today we have some real poison."
"Killing her, are they?" the general muttered, and then glanced back at the woman. "I suppose it was only a matter of time."
Lin watched the men. They were too far away for her to understand what they were whispering to each other, but she didn't like that they had something besides the ordinary stuff, which she thought she may have been getting used to.
"I'd still like something to get her to be submissive."
"With all due respect, have you tried beating her?" the guard asked as he handed over the package.
"Good idea." The general turned back to his subject.
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"So you were talking back to him the whole time?" Sura asked.
"Yes," Lin's monotone replied. "I was out of line."
"I should say so," Sura smiled bitterly. She was treating Lin's cuts and bruises. "I'm proud of you."
"Rewarding detrimental behavior is an incorrect action," Lin commented.
"Stop talking like that," Sura said impatiently, jostling Lin a bit.
"Vocal functions are performing perfectly. Why should I stop behaving as told?"
"Because you sound fake!" Sura insisted.
"My grammatical selections are perfectly logical. I see no reason for you to dislike them."
"You don't sound like a person. You sound like a book. A bad one, too."
Lin's eyes flashed for a moment, silver fire flaring up. "You disapprove of my speech and liken it to bad literature? I do not need to associate with you." Lin stood up, pulling away from Sura.
"Stop!" Sura scolded. "I need you to snap out of that! Start acting like a person, Lin!"
Lin huffed. "A person may speak as I do without scolding."
"Not if she wants to reclaim her former memories and get back to her life where her husband is waiting for her!"
"Husband?" Lin turned around, examining Sura with a discerning eye for the first time that morning.
Sura's eyes flashed excitement. She'd gotten through! "Your husband loves you and he's going to come rescue you!" Sura was lying through her teeth. She was not sure that the Fire Lord would actually come. But Mai needed to hear this. They were practically killing her.
"I do not have—"
"You are married to a very handsome man," Sura almost shouted. She'd never seen the Fire Lord, but other servants had, and, more importantly, Mai had talked about him. "He has a scar on his eye."
A layer of glassiness disappeared from Lin's eyes. "The scar," she muttered. One hand twitched up to the left side of her face, covering her left eye and left ear.
Sura was even more excited now. She hadn't mentioned which side the scar was on! She watched Lin's body language intently.
"It was… a punishment… his father… was a monster… like his sister…" The glassy look was completely gone. "Zuko!" she screamed. "Where is he?" Her head whipped around. "Where am I? Why aren't I with Zuko?"
"They took you away, Mai," Sura said, trying to keep calm. This was both thrilling and terrifying. It was good that she'd gotten through to Mai, but the way she was acting didn't look promising. "They've got you here where Zuko can't find you."
"Zuko's gone! He left me! He won't come back!"
"No, he didn't leave you, Mai!" Sura rushed to hold her up. "They stole you from him!"
"He wasn't there to do anything!" Mai's body was twitching.
"He was going to come back, he didn't expect—"
"He never thinks about what will happen to me!" Mai sobbed. "He always assumes everything will be fine."
"It will be! He's going to come for you!"
Mai's head hurt. What was going on? She was full of grief, which she understood, but these needles in her brain? She couldn't explain those. "Ow," she moaned.
"What?"
"My head hurts!" Mai announced, and suddenly her teeth started chattering.
"I'll fix it, Mai! Sit down! I'll fix it!" Sura was getting more and more concerned, seeing her friend's face contorted with pain. She helped Mai drop gently to the ground, bending water around Mai's head. "This is incredible! It's like the brainwashing is fighting back!"
Mai's eyes met Sura's for a fleeting moment. "Fighting," she ground out.
"Yes, it's fighting. It's attacking your brain."
Mai gripped Sura's wrist. "Fighting. Me. I am." She closed her eyes, hoping her message had gotten through her body's infuriating inability to allow her to say anything past two syllables at a time.
"You shouldn't. We need to heal the wounds in your brain before I'll let you fight. All right?"
Mai grimaced. "I'll… be… Lin… right?"
"That seems safe for now," Sura said, feeling sick.
Mai nodded, and suddenly the trembling in her body stopped.
Sura's job became so much easier that she almost didn't have to do anything. "Lin?"
"Yes, Sura?" came Lin's weak voice.
"Take a nap," Sura commanded.
"Yes, Ma'am." Lin collapsed onto her mattress, and was asleep in an instant.
Sura sat nearby and kneaded her temples. Now she was getting a headache.
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Lin awoke to distant voices. They seemed to be discussing her.
"I want her dressed up nicely. If you can do her hair and makeup, too, that would be good. Then we'll need to convince her to stand somewhere and not move."
"That will be fine," said the voice of a middle aged woman. "I used to work for her parents. She's used to it."
Lin sat up. "My parents?"
"Shut up!" The middle aged woman slapped Lin. "Her mother used to do that, too," she said proudly.
Lin touched the stinging spot on her cheek. Had her mother done that a lot? Who was her mother? Lin's eyes shot wide open. She had no idea who she was or where she'd come from! This was a terrible catastrophe! This was—
"Look at the little idiot, staring into space!" the guard laughed. "Just get her ready for presentation."
Lin knew somewhere deep that all she had to do was wait for it to end.
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Zuko's heart seemed to be beating at twice its normal speed. He was flooded with anger, frustration, and the need to knock down anything that even suggested it might keep him from seeing Mai again. The guards were too slow. The door was too heavy and the irritating creaking sound it made as the guards opened it was grating on the thin rope holding up the box full of explosives known as Zuko's temper.
Aang put a hand on Zuko's shoulder, hoping that would ease some of the tension. "Zuko, it's all right. We've almost found her."
Zuko turned his steady glare on Aang. "I know we're close. What's making me angry is the fact that I have no idea what they've done with her! We should be storming this place, or sneaking in! We shouldn't just walk up and ask for her!"
"Diplomacy first, Zuko," Aang said calmly.
"Were you diplomatic when someone stole Appa? Not from the stories I heard."
Aang's hand jerked away as if Zuko had burned him. "That's true. I should've remembered that it's painful." He set his eyes ahead, stilling his own sympathetic surge of fury.
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"Welcome, honored guests," the governor said smoothly when they'd reached his office. He rose to bow to everyone.
"Where is Mai?" Zuko yelled. He then tried calming himself down, but didn't really succeed.
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Sura had been watching the guests from around the door's edge. Her heart leapt; the Fire Lord was here to save Mai! Now would be the time for escape! Revenge was also near.
"Sura, we need someone to bring tea to the Fire Lord and his friends," said a fellow servant. "You have been requested to do the honor."
Now, Sura would be having none of that. The Fire Lord needed to see his wife. Soon, too. Sura's eyes flicked around the room and then the hallway, and then she went to the kitchen in search of Mai. Where could Mai have gotten to? She was half afraid that Mai was in the servants' quarters. Then Sura saw her. Lin was standing against a wall, looking like a marble statue, except for the occasional blink.
"M— Lin!" Sura reminded herself to use the name Mai would respond to.
Lin heard her name. This would be something important, hopefully. Part of her was so bored. Even doing the job of standing very still was not fulfilling.
"Lin. Take this tray to the governor's public office," Sura said in an authoritative voice, hoping that would get Mai moving.
Lin ran to Sura, arms out for the tray. She slowed down, not wishing to appear too eager, but still, movement was so invigorating!
Sura grinned; her plan would work! She continued, "Once you have served the tea, wait till they have finished, then bring the tray back."
Lin bobbed her head, wishing she had the ability to say anything besides, "Yes, Ma'am," which she promptly shot out before flying across the hall, still managing to be graceful about it.
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"Mai? Would you be referring to your wife, Fire Lady Mai?"
Zuko's anger flared up again at the delay. "Yes," he grated out between his teeth, a low growl escaping with the word.
"She was here. Earthbending thugs escorted her here in a trap. Once they were dealt with, though, the Fire Lady wasted away under the strain of depression. We are very sorry to inform you of this."
All the color drained from Zuko's face. His heart seemed to stop. Had he just been told, by this man who was completely composed, that his wife was dead?
"He's lying!" Toph said angrily. "Mai isn't dead."
The governor eyed Toph coldly for a moment, before Zuko directed all attention back to himself.
"You were trying to tell me that Mai is dead, when she's not?"
"She's close to death," the governor replied, staring right into Zuko's eyes.
Toph knit her brow. She knew that hadn't been a lie. But she didn't want to say something. If she were asked, she would.
"Let me see her!" Zuko demanded. His hands, planted firmly on the governor's desk, began to burn holes into the wood.
Katara discreetly put out Zuko's fires, but remained silent. He had a right to be angry; she just didn't want him to burn down the room—not as long as they were all in it, at least.
"I'm afraid you can't do that," the governor replied. "We sent her away."
Everyone's eyes shifted to Toph.
Toph bit her lip and hung her head. "He's telling the truth."
Zuko roared and overturned the desk, grabbing the governor by the collar. "How could you let her travel in such a condition?" He threw the governor against the wall. "How could you keep her from me?" Zuko stalked closer to the governor, daggers of fire forming in his fists. "How dare you keep me from my wife?"
The governor put up his hands coolly. "Would you rather we let her stay here in that condition, with no proper healers? How foolish do you think I am?"
Zuko was getting angrier than ever now that none of his violent outrage had managed to make this man break. He still didn't know where Mai was, and, on top of that, he was being told she was sick. "Is Mai really sick, Toph?" Zuko growled, speaking a bit more gently now that he was addressing a friend.
Toph paused. "He seemed to think so," she said.
Zuko crumbled. It had been inevitable, but now that it came, it was demoralizing. He'd been doing so well. Now, as he sank to his knees in defeat, he knew that he was finished. Mai was somewhere, wasting away to nothing, and there was nothing he could do, because he didn't even know where she was.
"Does anyone desire refreshment?" asked the gentle, timid voice of a servant girl.
"Do I ever!" Sokka grabbed a fruit tart from the girl's tray. "Hey," he asked with his mouth full, "are these rose petals?"
"I wouldn't know," the servant girl said quietly.
Zuko slowly turned to examine the servant girl. How could anyone think about the intricacies of food at a time like this? Why hadn't the world stopped?
Her makeup was flawless, Zuko noticed. She had her shiny black hair pulled up elegantly, with pins close to her forehead, as if to pin back bangs. She looked like a fine doll to be put on display. It disgusted him. A girl like that didn't belong amidst the chaos. If he had anything to say about it, she wouldn't be anywhere outside Ba Sing Se. But—there was something about her— "What are you doing here?" he demanded.
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Lin looked at the man. She suspected him of making the mess that she was currently standing before. He was disheveled, and looked as if he had just lost something. A quick examination confirmed that nobody had cut off any of his arms or legs, as she had first suspected. As to his question, she wasn't sure how to respond.
"Lin Qiang! What are you doing away from your wall?"
The same question, if phrased differently. Lin's brain fought furiously for an answer. "Yes, sir," "No, sir," "Very good, sir," and "Thank you, sir" would be useless in such a situation. What was her actual reason for being there, anyway? How had she felt standing against that wall? "The wall was boring," she replied.
The mouth of the governor fell open to reprimand her.
Zuko leapt from the floor, ripped the tray from the servant girl's hands, giving it to Sokka, and lifted the girl into his arms. "Mai!" he cried with joy. "You're okay!" He couldn't believe it had been so easy! There she was in his arms, real as real could be!
"Mai's back! You really are back!" Topekaia giggled hysterically.
Lin screamed. She couldn't hold it back. This strange man was hugging her tightly, fiercely, and the girl was laughing as if insane. She tore herself out of the man's arms and streaked out of the room.
Zuko reached after her, as if his outstretched arm would bring her back. He heard her yell, "Sura!" and saw her take the arm of another servant girl, dragging her off at something close to breakneck speed. Was she trying to protect this other girl from him? Was this some sort of sick joke she was playing on him? Mai had never acted this way towards him before. There had to be another explanation.
"I'm sorry about that one," said the governor, rising.
Zuko heard him through a continual hum in his ears.
"She is very pretty, but has no social skills. We usually keep her—"
"Standing against a wall?" Zuko turned on him. "You've been keeping Mai standing against a wall? For how long? Have you been feeding her properly? Where is she sleeping? Has anyone hurt her?"
The governor put up his hands. "More likely, she's distantly related to the Fire Lady. She is called Lin Qiang. We take good care of our servants here. Don't mistake that."
Zuko was still off-balance after hearing Mai scream and watching her run away from him, but he had enough sense left to look to Toph.
Toph sensed his movement. "He's lying about treating her well. Everything else is true."
Zuko stalked closer. "What have you done to her?"
The governor eyed Toph again. "She's a look-alike. Besides that, she's not a brave one."
"I repeat: what have you done to her?"
"Exactly what we do to every other servant who lives here. No worse, no better. Why should we? Just the fact that she looks like the ailing Fire Lady—"
Zuko turned on his heel. "I'm going to find her."
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"Sura!" Lin called.
Sura had been watching from the doorway. Upon seeing her, Lin ran up to her, grabbed her arm and pulled her along. When they'd reached the servant's quarters, Lin stopped and gasped for breath. "Someone's here! He thinks my name is Mai! And he gave me a hug! I'm scared!" Lin's eyes were wider than they had been for years.
Sura quickly came up with a plan and said, "It's okay. He probably didn't know you were a servant and thought you were an important dignitary. But you know what to do when the Governor has visitors—which he obviously does—don't you?"
Lin blinked. "What do we do? Stay out of the way?"
"No, you clean." Sura started taking the hair pins out of her friend's hair.
"What are you doing?" Lin asked nervously.
"I'm going to get you ready to clean."
Lin twitched. "But—"
"Trust me. It's the perfect way to make up for the mess in the governor's office."
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