A/N: THANK YOU if you reviewed, SHAME ON YOU if you did not. And AmineBabe88 – it is gonna get more angsty, just warning ya now! Enjoy!

Chapter Ten

The thinking took a long time – more than twenty four hours, in fact. Rikku would be fine by now, and as far as he knew hadn't come looking for him again – either that or the secluded spot he'd found was more isolated than he'd thought. Auron was not stupid – it did not take him long to sift through and distil his thoughts, and he'd considered every angle of the problem, and every inch of every possible solution. The only glitch was that there were only two ways out of the problem. One; he was wrong – which he knew he wasn't – and Rikku did love him. Two; he left Besaid. One was now inconceivable, and ignoring the heartache, he concentrated on Two. Two created a problem of its own. Namely: where would he go?

Like a flash of lightning, the answer came to him.

When he got back to the village, he headed straight for the Commsphere. It was a few moments before the person on the other end answered. "Auron!" a female voice answered, her voice clearly delighted. "How can I help?"

"Does your offer still stand, Giia?"

--

Two days after Rikku woke up – bitterly disappointed that Auron hadn't been there – the Legendary Guardian hadn't been seen anywhere. Well, that wasn't strictly true; everyone else had seen him, had had conversations with him, made sure he was getting on okay…but Rikku was beginning to think that he was actively avoiding her. And she couldn't for the life of her work out why, and it was killing her. Forget the kissing him plan, first she was going to punch him, then she was going to demand an explanation. What in the world could change in the space of twelve hours? When he'd turned up…just like in her dreams…everything was going to be perfect… Damn it, she'd seen it in his eyes; he loved her! It had made her want to sing, that hope in his eyes – something she'd never seen there, and never dared to dream that she ever would. The idea that that hope was there because of her was an indescribable feeling. Did she have the power to give someone so utterly beyond despair hope?

But now…it appeared she didn't. She loved him – she was more certain of that than she was of anything, and in that moment she'd been certain that the feeling was reciprocated. But I guess that was just the sake… The idea that he didn't love her made her want to find a corner and cry silently. But she'd become good at hiding her emotions. Until she was alone. Then the wall crumbled. On the third night running she hadn't seen him, Rikku decided to take the initiative – when everyone else had gone to bed, she crept to Auron's hut. Pausing at the door, she took a deep breath before lifting up the flap. To walk inside with a tiny cry of dismay.

It was empty – the bed seemed huge, and obviously hadn't been slept in at all. She walked inside slowly, crossing to the chair where Auron's trademark red coat lay folded. In the heat it wasn't much help, she reasoned. Though he hadn't taken it off in Bikanel, she thought. She definitely would have remembered if those delicious arms had been on show… The brief amusement faded, and Rikku went to sit on the bed, taking the coat with her. Sitting, she lifted the heavy material to her face – and sniffed. With one deep breath, she lost all composure. Her face crumpled, and she muffled her sobs in the coat. Thankfully, the material was thick enough so that no sound escaped, but the force of her despair shook her entire body, and when she finally stopped – because she no longer had the breath – the red weave was soaked with her tears. Forgetting where she was, Rikku curled up on the bed, still holding white-knuckled onto the coat. It was the only part of Auron she had.

She couldn't have known how hard it would be for Auron to come in, hours later, and have to cradle her body in his arms, walk across to put her back in her own bed. She couldn't have known how much his heart would clench, how difficult she'd made it for him to leave, or just how many doubts she'd stirred up with her presence. At no point did she wake up, not even after Auron had laid her in her own bed, and pulled the covers over her.

Why had she gone to his hut? Why was she holding his coat? Had he been wrong? Did she still… No, he decided. She was only there because she wanted to make sure he'd understood, wanted to make sure that he hadn't taken offence. How could he take offence to her moving on with her life?

He lingered for a moment, then allowed himself a moment of weakness; what was probably the last look at Rikku he'd ever have. He bent and brushed her lips with his own. "Goodbye, Rikku," he murmured.

He did not sleep that night.

The following morning, he sought out and said goodbye to each of them in turn. Like the night he'd returned, the morning of his departure all their reactions were different. Wakka and Tidus were disappointed, of course, but lingering sentiment meant that they trusted Auron's judgement. Lulu seemed inexplicably disappointed not with his departure but in him – he got the feeling she was only one who had begun to understand why he was leaving – and Yuna was distraught. "But, Sir Auron, you've only just got back! And I…wanted to talk to you about so many things…"

Despite himself, curiosity was piqued. "Things?"

Yuna shrugged. "Well…about my father, mainly. Things we never talked about on my Pilgrimage…"

Guilt was swiftly becoming the emotion most familiar to him. "I know, Yuna. And I'll answer your questions, I promise. I am not going forever."

She nodded. "I guess…um, have you said goodbye to…Rikku?" she asked nervously.

Auron hesitated for only a moment before nodding. "I have." Even if she wasn't awake to hear it…

Yuna smiled. "Good." She moved forward and embraced him swiftly. "Don't be a stranger."

"No. Farewell."

With that, he turned and walked from the village, cursing himself for a coward every step of the way. Rikku wasn't even awake yet, and he was stealing away like a thief in the night. All because he couldn't find the courage to look in her eyes as he was cutting himself off from her. He glanced at the sun – well on its way up the sky. Rikku would be waking up soon, if she hadn't already. He increased his pace. He'd arranged to meet Giia in Luca, and the ship left in less than half an hour. He had to make that boat.

He almost did, too. One foot set firmly on the wooden surface of the dock – and he heard what he'd been dreading.

"Auron!"

He stopped. Took a deep breath. Turned. "What is it, Rikku?"

She skidded to a stop, clutching her side. "I heard…you were leaving…today…" she panted.

His face remained impassive. "That's right."

"You didn't even say goodbye," she accused quietly.

"You were asleep…I didn't want to wake you."

A frown crinkled her pretty features. "Well…where are you going?"

"To see the world," he answered.

"Why? I thought we…" Her voice trailed off, sad and quiet. Still, her eyes remained locked with his, silently completing the question.

Thank the fayth for sunglasses; letting her see the expression in his eyes now would just be dangerous. He tilted his head up slightly, and Rikku blinked when the connection was broken. "That was a long time ago. We're different people now."

"I-" She broke off. She was a different person now, but not in a bad way, right? Older, wiser…sadder. But the night he came back, she was sure…

"Ship's waiting," he said, looking at everything but her. Sky…sea…sand…anything…

Her mouth opened. Had she changed that much? "You're- you're not just going to disappear, are you?" she asked nervously. "I mean…you'll call, right?"

Auron made a mistake. He looked at her. She didn't have tears in her eyes, she just looked confused. Well too bad. He wasn't going to explain it to her; wasn't it obvious enough? He wasn't going to stick around while the woman he loved was happy with someone else. He'd had enough self-sacrifice for one lifetime. Still, years of training himself to ignore his impulses were almost overwhelmed by the urge to take her in his arms. Instead he folded them. "If I have time."

"If you have time?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Yes," he said flatly.

"But, surely, Aur-"

"Goodbye, Rikku," he said, turning away and walking onto the gangplank before she could get another word out. He couldn't handle her calling his name again, and as if knowing this, she didn't try. It…sounded different when Rikku said it. Not as hard, not as rough, not as… Rikku said his name as if he were a man, a material, flawed, real man, with weaknesses and imperfections and emotions. Everyone else looked at a man and conjured a legend, fabricated perfection where there was none. He'd had that for so long he'd almost forgotten he was a man. And that was why he'd fallen in love with her. Because she reminded him how human and blemished he was, and loved him anyway.

But no more.

Auron walked deliberately to the other side of the ship, and did not look back at Besaid until it was only a speck in the distance. When he turned back to look, the beach was reduced to only a flash of gold, the island an emerald jewel in a sea of turquoise. And he could still see Rikku. Shutting his eye firmly against the mocking image, he turned his back on Besaid for the last time.

Softly, the wind carried away the sound of two hearts breaking.

A/N: Ok...I'm sure a lot of people are angry with me... Hides If you can find me, review ;)