A/N: Wow the last chapter got a really great response! Thank you so much guys! & I thought the best way to start the week was with another chapter (it's 10:37am here btw), so here you go & I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Eleven

It had been four whole months since she'd seen Auron, sixteen weeks since she'd spoken to him and one hundred and twelve days since she'd been close enough to inhale his scent. She felt like she had been, for two thousand, six hundred and eighty eight hours, slowly dying. She'd thought losing Auron would be the worst possible thing in the world – but this was so much worse. Knowing he was alive, out there and maybe with someone else could only be described as torture. It was like having acid bubbling away in her stomach; whenever someone mentioned his name she stiffened involuntarily and fought the urge to let all her questions pour out and demand some answers. The situation was compounded by the fact that once again, Rikku was singled out. Auron had been in touch with everyone else on Besaid, told them where he was, what he was doing. "I offered to fetch you," Yuna said apologetically to her, "but Sir Auron said he had to go."

Rikku swallowed. "I just don't understand, Yunie. What could I have done?"

Yuna hugged her. It hadn't taken long for the High Summoner to work out what was wrong with her younger cousin. She recognised that kind of despair, of losing the one you cared so deeply about. She couldn't imagine how lost she'd have been if Tidus had come back only to tell her he didn't want to be with her. "You love him, don't you?" she asked.

"Of course I do!" Rikku cried, breaking free of her hold and standing up, grief etched on her face. "How could I not?" She scrubbed the tears away and sniffed. "I just…what am I supposed to do now?" she asked. "Just go back to sphere hunting?"

"Have you told Auron how you feel?" a voice asked.

The two younger girls turned to see Lulu standing in the doorway, Vidina balanced on her hip. At the sight of his favourite blonde auntie, the baby stretched out his arms to her and gurgled happily. Even Rikku had to smile – the fact that Vidina always seemed to be happy to see her was basically the only bright spot in her life at the moment. Lulu let her take him happily, then sat down next to Yuna and repeated her question. "Have you told Auron?"

Rikku continued for a moment trying to ignore it and concentrated instead on convincing Vidina she'd stolen his nose. "Rikku!"

At the scolding tone, she winced. "No," she finally answered. "I haven't. But I mean, he must know, I… And I thought he might…"

"Perhaps he does," Lulu said kindly. "But, Rikku, if he thinks it's unrequited, then it's small wonder he won't talk to you."

"You think?" Rikku asked hopefully.

"I do."

"Ok…Yeah! I'll go and find him and then he'll have to listen to me," she declared. "Except…I have no idea where to start looking."

"He was outside the Mi'ihen Highroad Agency last time I spoke to him," Yuna said.

"Yes, I'll go call Brother and tell him to meet me at the beach, then I'm going to the Highroad!" Not one to waste time, Rikku left the hut quickly, almost running for the Commsphere.

Lulu stood up a moment later in alarm. "Rikku!"

The Al Bhed came back with a sheepish smile on her face. "This is yours, huh?" she said, handing Vidina back over. "See ya, little man!" she said, ruffling his hair. She ran off – Lulu and Yuna watched her go.

"She's terrified, isn't she?" Yuna asked quietly.

"Yes," Lulu replied, equally softly. "Terrified, and sad, and very in love."

--

Less than two hours later, the roaring of the engines of the Celsius could be heard from all over the island, and Rikku was climbing aboard, her normal bright smile firmly fixed in place. After Yuna's persuasion, Rikku agreed that she might need some company – if she found some particularly strong fiends, alone, she'd be in deep trouble. "Head for Bevelle!" she told Brother. Paine and Baralai had left the day after the party, saying they had some 'issues' to sort out – not a pseudonym for sex Rikku had ever heard before. Humph, she thought. Wish I was having 'issues'. Still, if she knew Paine, being around one person for too long would drive her crazy. She might be glad of the chance to get away for a while.

She was wrong – when she got to Bevelle, and managed to track down the Praetor of New Yevon, it was to be told through the office door (Baralai with a hugely embarrassed grin on his face), that he had no idea where Paine was. Rikku crossed her arms. "She's in there with you, isn't she?"

"Um, yes?"

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Well, just you tell her that she missed out on another adventure!" she said. "And also have fun," she winked, before turning and leaving the way she'd come. Once her back was turned, her smile slipped, and just for a second, she looked ancient in her misery.

By the time she stood on the Highbridge, she was grinning again, bouncing up and down slightly on the balls of her feet. When she got back onto the bridge of the ship, Buddy called her over. "Rao, Rikku. Barkeep cyoc fa haat du rayt du Luca vun cusa cibbmeac. Dryd ug?" (Hey, Rikku. Barkeep says we need to head to Luca for some supplies. That ok?)

She nodded. "Cina. Yc muhk yc fa ku du Mi'ihen cdnyekrd yvdan." (Sure. As long as we go to Mi'ihen straight after.)

Buddy agreed, and Brother revved the engines as the Celsius rose into the air, heading full speed for Luca. It was blitz season again, and though there were plans for another stadium to be built in the Calm Lands, the one in Luca was still the only one in Spira. Rikku sighed. The town was going to be packed, and she never felt more lonely than in a crowd. For a moment, she caught herself wishing that Tidus hadn't come back – at least that way Yuna would still be with her, and Rikku would have a reason to stay cheerful rather than it simply being the only way she could get through the day. The will to keep up the charade though; that was slowly being eroded away. It wasn't as if she had anyone be cheerful for, now. No, she decided. Must not be bitter. Sysy wouldn't want me to be bitter. They're my friends. I should be happy for them.

"Helloooo, Mish Rikku," Barkeep said cheerfully as she walked in.

"Hey, Barkeep," she said wearily; Hypellos weren't all that good at distinguishing one human emotion from the next, so there was no point in faking a smile.

"What can I dooo for yoooou?"

Rikku looked momentarily at the rows of alcohol behind the bar. It would be so easy to get drunk right now. "Nothing," she said at length. "I'm fine thanks, Barkeep. Just need a rest." She had her own quarters, but all she wanted was a place she could nap, not a full-blown lie-down sleep.

"Shleeep tight."

It was as she was lying down that Barkeep called up, "Mish Rikku, telephone for yooooou…"

She groaned and rolled out of bed, then jumped down agilely from the platform and took the phone from the Hypello. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me," a female voice answered.

"Hi, Paine. What's up?"

"Sorry I missed you earlier – there was a…sartorial situation. What did you need?"

"Well, I'm going on kind of a little quest, just wondered if you fancied coming along?"

There was a pause. "I'd love to Rikku, but maybe in like a week or something? There are…still things that need to be said here first."

Rikku tried not to sound disappointed. Granted it would be less embarrassing to be alone when she found Auron, but she also felt like she might need someone to bolster her courage at some point. "Oh, ok…I mean, sure, you and Baralai have things you have to do and stuff…"

"I'm sorry, Rikku. What's this quest of yours anyway?"

"I'm going to track someone down. For, uh…Rin! Yeah, 'cause Rin wants us to find someone who owes him money and um…yeah…"

Paine did not sound as if she believed it for one moment. "Where are you headed now?"

"Luca. Barkeep needs supplies and then we're headed to the Mi'ihen Highroad. That's where Aur- this person was seen last."

"Well if you wait a few days in Luca I'll come to you?" her friend suggested.

"Actually I think Brother wants to get going as soon as possible. He's been getting pretty antsy lately."

"The shock of losing Yuna, no doubt," Paine replied dryly.

Rikku laughed. "You know, that's probably it," she said, striking a pose, even though she knew Paine couldn't see her. "Anyways, I gotta go, Paine. Call me when you're ready for the adventure and we'll come pick you up, ok?"

"Alright."

"And don't have too much fun in the meantime, you hear?"

"Bye, Rikku."

"See ya!" She put the phone back in its cradle and sighed. "Thanks Barkeep." Walking over to the ship's internal radio fixed on the wall she pressed the number for the bridge. "Brother? How long till we get to Luca?"

"Cdemm yhudran veja ruinc, gaab ouin byhdeac uh!" (Still another five hours, keep your panties on!)

"Oui'na yh eteud," she told him matter-of-factly. (You're an idiot.) Letting go of the button, she climbed the stairs again. This time, she only got to the top step before Barkeep called her down again.

"Mish Rikku, telephone for yoooooou!"

"Urgh." She turned around. "Who is it?"

"Mishter Cid!"

Knowing she'd have to talk to her father or he'd just keep calling, she went back down to the bar. "Pops?"

"Rikku, how are ya? Listen, don't forget, I need ya help sortin' out the shields! Damn things still ain't working properly, none of the engineers have the foggiest what the hell's wrong with 'em!" New Home was due to open in another two months, and her father (understandably) had invested heavily in defensive technology – including huge energy shield generators. Unfortunately, the technology was based on ancient machina, and there were bugs in the programme that nobody seemed to be able to fix.

Rikku sighed. She knew she was a good engineer, but she wasn't a miracle worker. "Pops, I keep telling you, you don't need me, you need Shinra. He's the genius on board."

"Now don't be stupid, Shinra's just a kid!"

"Yeah, that's what he keeps saying…" she muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing, Pops. Listen, the Celsius will be coming to Bikanel just as soon as we're done with other stuff, ok?"

"Other stuff? What other stuff? Or are you not Al Bhed anymore?" he demanded.

Rikku immediately fired up. "Pops, you know how important my heritage is to me, don't you dare start questioning that!"

"Alright, alright, I ain't questioning you, girl, calm down. Hey, I heard the other one of Yuna's guardian's is back, what's-his-name, Sir somebody. That true?"

"It's Auron, Pops, and yeah, it is true. So what?"

"Well, make sure he knows about the reopening party!" Cid exclaimed. "Hell, I'd invite all of Spira if I could-"

"Then why are you bothering with all the defences?" she asked.

Cid neatly ignored this. "-but don't think they'd all fit… And also, y'know, tell everyone else that they're welcome to bring anyone they like. You gonna be bringin' Gippal?"

"No, Pops, how many times? I broke up with Gippal, remember? He's just a good friend now."

"Well, alright then. You're too picky if you ask me, same as your mother, she was always-"

"Clearly not, Pops, since she married you!" Rikku spat, then slammed the phone down, fuming. How dare he forget Auron's name? How dare anyone forget what he'd done for Spira? Twice! She knew he wasn't perfect, but he was sure as hell closer to it than most people she knew! "Cuh uv y…" (Son of a…)

Still muttering, she decided to give up the idea of sleep and just go read some more in her room. There was a book of ancient white magic she'd come across, and it contained many long forgotten spells, some incredibly powerful and older than Sin itself. The next chapter was devoted to a spell that, of course, Rikku had heard of, but rather than simply stating that it was forbidden to cast, actually told the reader how to cast it. The idea of having such an intimate knowledge of magic was thrilling – the spell was the only white magic in existence that was sufficiently powerful to convolute the border between life and death. It was actually something that most Spirans would have heard of, if only in a very twisted, mythological kind of way.

She was still absorbed in the book when they landed just outside Luca, and didn't even notice until Buddy radioed down to her room. "Rikku, we're here. Barkeep's got a list of stuff for ya."

"Yeah, on my way."

A/N: Poor Rikku trying to be brave. Maybe things won't go from bad to worse. Maybe. Review please!