A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews, I appreciate every last one of them. But please, there was a little Auron-bashing that tbh I thought I was a bit harsh, so I'm gonna defend my man (in my dreams). Anyway, I didn't mean to paint him (or write him) as being at all cowardly – he's not, he's AURON for heaven's sake. But speaking from personal experience, really manipulative people can do that – someone I thought was my 'friend' did it once, and honestly, everything gets turned on its head. People who really are your friends start looking an awful lot like your enemies and vice verse. BUT in the end your real friends forgive you – if you grovel enough.

Hopefully, that's cleared up some of what I was going for, sorry if that wasn't clear before. But Auron's not gonna start grovelling yet, and it's gonna get worse before it gets better ;)

On with the penultimate chapter!

Chapter Nineteen

They found her about a day later, still sprawled out across the steps of the ruins in Zanarkand, her skin still so pale she looked like a corpse. It wasn't helped by the fact that there was no heartbeat. Nothing Yuna did could rouse Rikku from the coma she'd fallen into, and in the end they just had to carry her to the Celsius and hope she'd wake up eventually. She did, about twenty-four hours later with much muttering and confusion. When she finally regained full consciousness, she seemed oddly disappointed. "Oh. I'm not dead. Am I dead?"

Paine and Yuna, who hadn't left her side, hugged her joyfully. "No. No, you're not dead, Rikku."

"But…" She looked up, a wild hope dawning inside her. "That must mean that he didn't get married!"

They exchanged a look. "Well, no, he didn't. But he still might, we don't know. I read your letter on the way to Djose, and we got there in time to stop it."

"Oh." So he would have gone through with it, then. "You didn't tell him why, did you?"

Paine shook her head. "We didn't."

Rikku gave a sad smile. "Good. Don't." She tried to get up, but found she was still too weak to stand.

Her friends pushed her back down. "Rikku, you're still not well enough. You were practically dead when we found you."

"But-"

"No buts. Just rest."

She heaved a sigh. "Fine. So…I take it the wedding will still go ahead, then. I mean, you guys stopped it once, but you can't do it again."

"We can and we will. Wakka and Tidus and Kimahri are all there now, stopping Auron from going anywhere near Giia."

"No." She shook her head. "I don't want you to do that."

"Rikku, if he gets married you'll die."

"I know, but…if the wedding stops, it has to be because he's realised something isn't right. Not because he's been told."

"Rikku, you do realise that as a man, he isn't going to realise anything on his own." (A/N: No offence, guys)

"No. If it's meant to be then it has to happen on its own."

"Rikku-"

"No, I mean it. Can I just rest now, please?"

They exchanged looks of dismay, but did as she said and left, leaving Rikku to curl up on the bed again, her tears soaking the pillow. Her brain was screaming at her. What the hell am I doing? Do I want to die?

No, but it has to be love. If he comes to me it's because he loves me. Not because he feels obliged to. The less he knows the less it'll hurt him.

So protecting him from pain is more important than my life?

Yes. I love him. Nothing is more important than that.

Though they all protested against it, Tidus, Wakka and Kimahri did eventually leave a very pissed off Auron alone, with each of them trying and failing to convince Rikku to tell Auron the truth. She remained adamant, though, and stayed strong and pale for the next several days.

The only thing she asked was that they go to each of the main sites along the Pilgrimage road, starting from where she'd joined it. The Moonflow, Guadosalam, Thunder Plains, Macalania, the Calm Lands, Gagazet and finally Zanarkand. In each place she'd request a little time alone, and the others all retreated to a discreet distance while Rikku closer her eyes and remembered. The steps along the journey that had taken her closer to Auron. The first time she held a serious conversation with him. The first time she studied the shape of his mouth and wondered what it would feel like against her own. The first time he'd covered her with his coat while she slept. The first time she'd woken in his arms. The first and only time he'd ever kissed her. The place where she'd never gotten the chance to say goodbye.

Visiting each one gave her a sense of closure. Fatalism had come over her. There was nothing could be done now. This was the way it had to be. She loved her friends, but it was obvious that they couldn't see, or know, what she felt. Protecting Auron was the most important thing in this world or the next. He had needed saving, and she had been there to rescue him, and the price she paid for that was that she would never have a rescuer of her own. For the millionth time, she uttered the sentence that had become her mantra. "So be it."

---

In contrast to Rikku's quiet, resigned days, the next week for Auron was anything but. During the day he was fine, going about his business the way he'd always done – it wasn't until night came, and he lay down to sleep, that the true turmoil that lay beneath the surface came through. Night after night, he had the same nightmare.

He's opposite Giia, standing with the priest, and getting married. Finally. But something's wrong, because as soon as it's his turn to say his vows, the Temple darkens like there's a storm indoors - with a light that he vaguely recognises behind him. He says them anyway, and that's it. The light grows brighter. There's a sob from behind him. And he turns to see Rikku there. Her green spiralled eyes are full of accusation as she gazes back at him. "How could you?" Her voice isn't angry, or indignant. It's just very very sad.

"Rikku?" He utters her name with confusion - because behind her are the steps. The twenty-seven steps that lead into the Farplane. Even as he watches, she places her foot on the first of them. He repeates her name, now with an edge of panic to it.

Her hand goes to her heart and she sighs. He runs to her side, ignoring his bride. "How could you, Auron?" she asks again - and the words are like he's being comdemned to hell, but he still doesn't understand.

"How could I what?"

Her eyes flutter closed now, then open again as she looks up. There, at the top of the steps, are Jecht and Braksa. "C'mon, kid," Jecht says. "We're all waitin' for ya. Not like we've got all of eternity here." He chuckles at his own poor joke and beckons - but to Rikku.

"Time already?" she asks with the ghost of her old smile. A pale, shredded parody of the Rikku that he-

Braska nods with less levity than Jecht. "It's the way it has to be, Rikku. He's made his choice." His mouth is compressed into a thin line, his eyes hard as he regards his former guardian. Every line of him radiates disappointment. No, worse than that. Betrayal.

The first tears he's cried in fourteen years begin their slow tracts down Auron's face. Rikku doesn't bother wiping them away. Something, somewhere primal inside him, begins to know. "Rikku, please, I-"

Her voice is flat now, her beautiful face expressionless. "You killed me, Auron. I trusted you with everything I had. And you...killed me..."

When she takes another step upward, he is unable to stop himself, and grabs her arm. At the touch, she crumbles. Like burnt paper that still holds its shape, the life is draining from her before his very eyes. She falls to the ground rather than allow herself to fall into his arms. Then she stops breathing, and won't wake up when he calls her name and lifts her body up from the cold stone floor. Because she's dead. No heartbeat, no warmth, no life. She looks like a grotesque wax work figure of a human being, because no one who was once as alive as her should look so empty now.

"Oh gods," he says, over and over again, "What have I done?"

Above, Braska and Jecht both stretch out their hands. The flickering, translucent glow of the pyreflies begin - knowing what they mean, Auron grasps for them urgently. Only to have each and every one slip insubstantially through his fingers. Rikku's form appears between her uncle and one-time enemy - and without another word, without another glance-

They're gone. Into the horizon of forever.

The dreams would always have the same outcome; he'd sit up sharply in bed, breathing as though he'd fought a hundred Sins all at once, soaked in cold sweat, and terrified down to his bones. The fear and the guilt wouldn't go away until daybreak, no matter how ridiculous he told himself he was being. He did not understand…how could someone like Rikku – who she had turned out to be – hold such a power over him? It was almost like being Unsent again, except this time it wasn't the call of the Farplane that drew him, but her.

No. He would not allow this…this thing, whatever it was, to rule him, he thought on the sixth night. Tomorrow, Giia and I will be married. It is what I want.

He said it aloud, hoping that would make it more convincing. "It is what I want."

That afternoon, he had a visitor – not one he was all that happy about seeing at the moment either. Tidus seemed to know this, since his normally bright and enthusiastic grin was markedly absent. "What do you want?" Auron asked before he opened his mouth.

Tidus swallowed nervously and scratched the back of his head. Then he cleared his throat. "I wanted to tell you something…about-"

Auron glared at him, daring him to say the name. He was a hairs' breadth from turning away in disgust.

Tidus seemed to decide that it was worth it. "Rikku," he said firmly.

"Then it had better be damned good," he growled.

"It's the truth," the boy said quietly.

"Then spit it out," he said.

Instead of answering, he drew out a piece of paper from an inner pocket, and handed it to Auron. He took it with a distrustful glare and then unfolded it. When he recognised Rikku's handwriting, he looked sharply up at the blond. "What is this?" he demanded.

Tidus shrugged helplessly. "It's…the truth," he said again.

"That three days ago you weren't allowed to tell me?"

"Rikku didn't want us to."

"What's changed?"

"Nothing. She doesn't know I'm here. That's addressed to Yuna."

By the time Auron had finished reading the letter, he was struggling not to rip it apart. He'd never read a more manipulative, scheming, calculating, clearly fake display of emotion in his life. Did she honestly expect him to believe that? It was so contrived, even down to the obviously fabricated tear drop stain at the end. He pushed it back at Tidus in disgust. "Tell her she'll have to do better than that."

Funny, in all the years he'd known Tidus, he'd never seen him so shocked. So utterly beyond disbelief. "What?!" he finally spluttered.

"It's completely unconvincing, Tidus. You can't honestly expect me to buy this."

If Tidus' expression was anything to go by, he clearly had expected him to believe it. "But…Auron, when we found her, she was almost dead. She didn't wake up for almost two days!"

"Because I'm getting married and because of a spell that has only ever existed in myth and legend. Apparently she's a liar as well as a coward," he said dryly. He managed to suppress a wince at borrowing Giia's words.

From being disbelieving, the younger man now looked only disappointed. "You really believe that?" he asked quietly.

"I have no reason not to," he retorted.

"She loves you, Auron. And there was a time that would have mattered to you." He shook his head and took a few steps away, then stopped, turning his head. "You were always more like a father to my than my old man was. For ten years, you were there when I needed you. And right now I don't recognise you."

Before Auron could say anything, Tidus walked away, leaving the older man angry and confused – though at who…he couldn't have said. The dreams got worse that night – no matter how much he tried to deny it, there would always be some part of him that revered Rikku as a giver of light – once the only source of illumination in his dark world. And that part was getting stronger, harder to push to the back of his mind. He did, though. Lifetime of self-sacrifice, after all.

And finally, finally, he was here. He'd made it. Djose temple. Giia. Priest. That was all; all there needed to be. He took a deep breath and hesitantly returned Giia's (somewhat triumphant, he noted) smile as the Priest spoke.

A/N: Mwhahahahaha! The cliffhanger strikes again!