Disclaimer: I do not in any way shape or form own NCIS, or its characters. Though I do borrow them, else you wouldn't be reading this would you?
By the time they had convinced Ziva not to kill Tony for pulling a face at her Abby had gone back to her lab and someone had collared the Director.
A machine was beeping as Gibbs, Tony and McGee entered the lab. Abby was nowhere in sight, but her music was on. Then she came bouncing her way through the doors to her 'office', she tapped a button on the machine now having a beeping fit at anyone who would listen, and sitting on her stool quieten the music.
"Now then, good and bad news. See if you can guess which is which. Option one; there was alcohol present in three of the four cups. Option two; but it wasn't enough to suggest anything above slightly wobbly walking. And I now have reason to think it wasn't alcohol, or at least not just alcohol."
"And you have determined this how?" She eyed the new comer with dislike.
"Sorry not too good with names, but I 'determined' it the only way I know how; science. Well I didn't, but that very expensive machine Tony is lent against, did." Tony sprang to stand on his own feet when she said this. Ziva however looked unsatisfied with this conclusion.
"How many languages do you speak?" The question threw Ziva for a moment, but she quickly answered; "Seven, why?"
"What about the unspoken languages?"
"Err, no. Again why?" Instead of answering her Abby looked at Gibbs.
'When is she leaving?'
'Don't know. Why?'
'I don't like her.'
'Abby just put up with her, please? For me?'
'For you?' He nodded. She smiled, put on a smile and returned to plain old English; "I got to that answer by running my blood, looking for anything which is not normal in human blood. What is your name?"
"Ziva David." Abby gave her thumbs up and returned to making sense of lots of numbers and letters.
"Ok so we've established how you got the answers, now what are the answers?" Gibbs didn't want to stand around all day whilst Abby decided whether or not see could put up with Ziva.
"Arhh, why can't I just keep prattling on like normal? In fact forget that. Anyway I found absolutely twiddly diddly, squiddly piddly squit, which I was sorta expecting. I mean if you were going to drug some one you wouldn't use something that could be traced after twenty-four hours max, would you? But what about something that erased everything not normally found in blood? So it would erase all traces of everything admitted to the body in the twenty-four hour window, including probably more pain-killers than is quite sane." She waited for it to dawn on someone what she had just said. She didn't have too long to wait. But who answered was a surprise; no one had heard the doors open and close, or notice Ducky come to stand with them.
"You know there are tests being done to find a way of doing just that, my dear, but I don't think that they'd gotten that far yet. Though you never know with privet companies." Ducky looked at the computer screen carefully. "But it seems that someone will be a very rich person before to much longer. There is absolutely nothing-unusual showing up. This would put the official governing bodies of sporting events under great pressure to find a way to detect and combat this new drug." Ducky seemed to be absolutely intrigued by the results, but Gibbs wasn't. "But it could also give the criminal world the upper edge. If it covers over drugs right from the moment it gets in to the blood then the amount of date rapists will rise, and rise fast."
Gibbs started for the door, but a shout made him pause.
"I'm sorry."