Title: Home (Multichapter fic with 35 parts)
Beta: un-beta'd D: D: D:
Warnings: bondage, torture, prostitution, explicit sex, drug use, attempted rape
Themes and Tropes: exploration/adventure, outlaws, bottom!Spock
Summary: Jim is heading towards a personal crisis. Their mission is vitally important: to find a new home world for the Vulcan race in the face of alien opposition. Soon it is clear that there is only one planet that will do. To secure the mysterious planet Jim must play his hand perfectly, but guilt at not having been able to save Vulcan and the responsibilities of captaining the Enterprise are wearing him down. Determined to be professional, he forces loneliness upon himself until a kiss he shares with his first officer changes everything.
"Life is short," Spock said.
Those words brought the tight feeling back to Jim's chest and he hugged Spock again. If he'd lost Spock … the idea that he might never have seen those eyes again pained him beyond belief. The excitement he felt paled in comparison to a sudden wave of raw urgency that broke over him.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek or any of its characters, Paramount does, and didn't create them either, Roddenberry did.
– Home-Part 33 of 35 –
Jim paced his quarters. Spock still wasn't back on board; he'd stayed on the Excalibur after the review had been cancelled. Most likely the Vulcan scientists had many questions about what had happened down on Saketh that he needed to answer. And as soon as Spock told them about the home-stones, then things would move quickly; they might be drawing up plans for a colony on Saketh right now. Or maybe he was in a meeting with Patel.
Jim balled his hands into fists. How was he meant to relax while he was stuck in these quarters, totally out of the loop, and completely useless to anyone? He couldn't; he'd had enough of that in prison.
This ship had been his home, but it wasn't anymore. Hopefully it would be again once he'd recovered, but there was no point spending a moment longer stuck in these quarters. He stopped his pacing and made himself presentable before sitting down at his desk.
"Kirk to bridge. Lieutenant Uhura, please put me through to the Vulcan delegation on the Excalibur."
It was time to give up the Enterprise-he had to sort out his immediate future.
The leader of the Vulcan science delegation, Sklek, accompanied Jim to the doors of the Excalibur's conference room, while the other scientists remained seated-they'd probably be up all night discussing plans for the colony, Jim thought.
"And finally, Captain Kirk," Sklek said, as the doors opened, "on behalf of the Vulcan people, I would like to express my gratitude to you once again."
"I'm just happy to help," Jim replied with a grin.
And he was. They'd talked over the plan in rough, but assuming he got the doctor's approval, they'd start setting up a temporary camp on Saketh as early as tomorrow.
The minute the door slid shut and he was alone in the corridor his thoughts turned to Spock though, who hadn't been in the meeting. According to the other Vulcans he was in sickbay, where his wife was in a critical condition. He walked over to the nearest terminal, brought up a map of the Excalibur's layout, then started walking towards sickbay.
He remembered the tiny woman with her mass of shiny dark hair, but he hadn't known that she'd come to Saketh with Kroth. Bones had explained how Spock had suffered more due to his telepathy, so if his wife had been in the Katric Ark too, she would've suffered equally.
Jim quickened his pace. When he arrived he scanned the room for Spock. At the back of the L-shaped sickbay he found him sitting next to a bed, hunched over his wife's form, one hand on her face. Opposite him on the other side of the bed was another Vulcan in a similar position. Doctors and nurses circled the scene, waving their tricorders and medical scanners over the three figures.
"She didn't enter a healing trance," someone said, stepping next to him.
It was Patel's first officer, Isabaev. "It's something Vulcans can apparently do to repair serious damage that even our modern medicine can't get a grip on."
"How long have they been trying?" Jim whispered.
He knew from Chapel that Bones hadn't slept until he'd been able to stabilize Spock enough to allow his body to take over and enter the trance—it had been important to get him into one as soon as possible, she'd explained.
"Ever since she arrived," Isabaev replied. "They failed and had just given up when Spock was released by your Doctor McCoy and came straight here. As her, um, husband?"
Her eyes searched his face, but he didn't care to explain anything to her right now.
"Well, um, yeah," she continued, "they thought it was worth another attempt, since apparently they have a special telepathic connection." Isabaev closed her eyes. "She'll die if she doesn't enter one soon. Her brain was too badly damaged."
Jim swallowed. "I understand," he rasped.
"How're you?" she asked. "The surviving pirates here have brain injuries that are about as bad as yours; though the severity varies with species of course, but the human ones…." She looked him up and down. "I was here when they woke up. One of them described it as having 'half-died'."
"It's not a bad description," Jim said softly, but didn't go into more detail.
They watched the scene a while longer in silence.
"I'm better now, though, thank you," he said eventually. "Will you let me know if she survives?"
Isabaev nodded. "Of course, Captain."
With a nod and the smallest of bows in her direction, Jim retreated from the scene. He wanted to get as far away as possible, as guilt at his own reaction to all this wrapped itself tightly around his insides. In his mind's eye he saw her, coming out of a shop smiling, laden down with her new purchases. On the pirate base she'd seemed to be nothing more than an innocent civilian; she didn't deserve this horrible fate she'd been caught up in. For that alone he should be hoping for her survival.
But that wasn't the thought that was foremost in his mind; no, his reasons were more selfish. In order to survive their time of mating Vulcans needed to be bonded telepathically to their partner—and there was no way in hell he was letting anyone, not even Spock, near his mind. So she had to survive! Just the thought of someone entering his mind telepathically caused his heart to race.
He reached out to steady himself on a nearby medical cart.
"Are you alright?" a nurse said, rushing over.
"I'm fine," Jim waved him away.
"You're hands are shaking, sir."
"I'm okay," he repeated more forcefully and stood up.
One foot in front of the other; don't sway, he repeated to himself until he got to the door. At that point he didn't care if the nurse was still watching him or not, and increased his pace, causing him to trip as he burst out into the corridor. Luck wasn't on his side; he collided with Patel, who'd been about to enter.
"Captain Kirk, are you alright?"
Jim wiped the sheen off his brow and pulled his shoulders back. "Yes, it was just a bit warm in there. That's all."
He knew Patel wouldn't buy that, but he fixed the other Captain with an 'I dare you to press the issue' glare.
"So …," Patel shook his head slightly. "Well, I'll be going down to the planet tomorrow, zero eight hundred hours, so the Vulcan scientists can see it first-hand. I think you should be present too. It seems you had good reason to charge into the Katric Ark the way you did." Patel bit his lip. "And I also heard just now that you're planning on spending your recovery period on Saketh."
Jim nodded. "I'll be there. Just send me the co-ordinates. Captain."
He inclined his head and walked away, but it was a battle to stay upright as his heart was still running a marathon in his chest. It's okay, he repeated over and over, no one's ever going to get into your mind again.
The next morning, as Jim was getting ready to head down to Saketh to meet with Patel and the Vulcan delegation, he finally received a message from Isabaev—Spock's wife had passed away.
Jim walked to the transporter room, his senses numb to the bright lights of the corridors and the sound of crewmen greeting him. When he finally materialized on Saketh it was on the beach that they'd first beamed down to. Captain Patel and Spock were talking to the Vulcan scientists by the bank of blue flowers that had first caught Spock's attention.
"And once again, I assure you: the pirate threat has been neutralized," he heard Patel say.
Jim started walking towards them. He could see that the smile on Patel's face was fake as the man looked beseechingly at Spock.
"Ah, Captain Kirk," Patel exclaimed. "I'm glad you were able to join us."
Damn, why didn't his fingers do what he told them to? Jim looked at them sternly and tried to get them to form the Vulcan salute. It shouldn't be this hard!
He gave up. "Well, I'll have time to practice."
The Vulcans returned the gesture with ease; then Sklek addressed Spock.
"So the pirate threat is eliminated?"
"That posed by this group of organized pirates is, yes," Spock answered.
"But there might be other pirates—unorganized ones?"
"Affirmative."
Patel turned his eyes on Jim. 'Help', he mouthed. Jim simply shrugged. Then he took pity on Patel though and stepped over to him.
"I'm pretty sure they've already decided to colonize Saketh, whatever the risks," Jim whispered, holding a hand in front of his mouth to shield the sound from the sensitive Vulcans ears, although he knew they'd probably still hear him.
"So I've heard. But what if they change their mind after they read the reports in full?"
"I think Spock has already filled them in on everything that's relevant."
Jim took a step back to study Patel. He was suddenly struck by a memory. A few months ago he'd walked past a mirror in the gym and caught a glimpse of his reflection—what he'd seen then had been a man whose guilt and worry was visible in the lines around his eyes and in the slight slump of his shoulders, just as was the case with Patel now.
"We will visit the underground city next," Patel announced.
"I am afraid I will not be accompanying you then," Spock said, bowing his head in an apologetic gesture. "I must meditate first, before I enter there again."
"Understood," Sklek replied. "We ourselves have meditated extensively in preparation so that we will not be afflicted as you have been."
"I think I'll give it a miss too," Jim said to Patel and the captain nodded in understanding.
As the delegation walked towards a shuttle that was a fair distance away along the beach, Spock took his place at Jim's side. The other Vulcans were not far enough away yet for Jim to bring up all the things that he wanted to talk about, or to ask Spock how he was feeling about his wife's death. He searched for something else to say.
"So, 'afflicted'? Like what happened to you the first time you went into the mountain?"
Spock nodded. "I do not believe the Katra's influence is confined to Vulcans, but yes, that is what he was talking of. It is something that had never happened to me before in the Katric Ark on Vulcan. However, I realize now that this ark is dominated by some very powerful spirits from before Surak's time. I believe it is also their presence that may have set off the burning of my blood, which I had not experienced since I was seventeen."
Jim watched as Patel and the Vulcan delegation got into the shuttle. When they had taken off he reached out for Spock's hand and entwined their fingers. Gently, he pulled Spock along the path they had first taken when they'd arrived on Saketh. Spock followed easily. Soon they were in front of the first inscriptions they'd come across.
"Do you remember the sunrise?" Jim asked, turning around, so he could see the small valley and estuary beyond.
They were still holding hands.
Spock squeezed tighter. "The odds were against us both surviving to be able to stand here again. I am learning that when I am with you, such odds do not mean very much."
Jim grinned in response. "I do my best."
Then he turned to Spock, his face more serious and finally looked into the brown eyes.
"How are you? Isabaev told me your wife died. What was her name?"
"T'Gallachea. The likelihood of any Vulcanoid withstanding such a telepathic storm were marginal at best unless able to enter a trance within the first thirty-two hours." He paused for a moment. "How are you coping with the brain damage?"
Spock hadn't answered the question, but then he had asked him how he was feeling; the Vulcan was probably suppressing the hell out of his emotions just now. He'd have to be careful not to annoy him; he didn't want to push Spock over the edge.
"I won't lie. It's been terrifying. And depending what indictors we use to assess my memory loss … it looks like I might still be missing between fifteen and thirty-five percent of my autobiographical memories. I'm unlikely to ever get them back. But Bones has managed find out about some new therapies and if they go well, I might be able to recover from this; at least get my brain running smoothly again. I'm sure you know all this already, but I've been thinking that I'll stay on Saketh and make myself useful here while you take care of the ship until I'm back."
They didn't say anything for a while as they looked out into the valley together, each of them lost in their own thoughts.
Jim knew he'd need the next few months to seriously think about this relationship. They'd been friends, close friends, so he knew that he was very important to Spock; but that thought was only a small consolation considering how he'd ended up hanging his heart out on the line here. Spock had just admitted that the Katras in the Ark had set off the burning in his blood-and when had they first kissed? Exactly after Spock had first been exposed to them. Not before.
He'd wait and see how things were between them when Spock's hormones had calmed down; away from the Ark, away from analyzing any stones brought back to the ship from it … away from Saketh. If this relationship didn't last then the very least he wanted to gain from it was a closer friendship with Spock.
"I'm sorry about the way in which I stopped the inquest-," Jim said then halted himself when he saw anger flash across Spock's face, which had been perfectly composed until then.
Quickly he took a step back.
Spock rounded on him though. "Jim, she was an innocent civilian. It's my fault she was brought into this and died!"
Oh. Jim willed his heart to calm its beating again. He should've realized that after all that had happened in the last few hours that Spock's mind would currently be occupied by more important things than how his lover had stopped some inquest.
"I'm sorry, Spock." And Jim was. "I can imagine how guilty you must be feeling, but it wasn't your fault. It was Kroth's."
He watched on as the alien boxed away his emotions again, burying them deep inside.
"I'm not going to stay on the Enterprise. It's not that I want to leave you alone during all this, but I don't think I can stay aboard while on leave. It just won't work." He reached out to squeeze Spock's shoulders. "But I'll be just a call away. Always. I love you."
Jim choked out the last three words.
Spock caught his lips in a kiss, but he didn't return those three small words; Jim hoped the Vulcan didn't notice the tension in his muscles, especially those in his back, that this one-sided profession of his feelings had caused in him.
Jim arrived in the rec room slightly out of breath. He hadn't meant to keep Bones waiting, not after the argument his friend had just had with his ex-wife. But he'd been worrying unnecessarily that Bones would be on his own; already Chekov and Uhura were sitting next to him.
Uhura was gently rubbing his friend's back, as Jim took a seat opposite them at the table.
"How does zis make you feel?" Chekov asked.
"Sometimes it makes me wish I'd never been born, as then I wouldn't've had to deal with any of this," Bones said, the honesty in the statement painful to listen to.
Jim saw understanding in the young ensign's eyes and was struck by how much the young man had grown up. Chekov was no longer the innocent Russian whiz kid he'd been at the Academy.
"Thanks for listening," Bones said, smiling weakly.
"How are you, Bones?" Jim asked.
"I feel a hell of a lot better now. Thanks for being there for me, guys. This really helps a lot."
Jim studied him carefully, but despite his friend's admission, he looked aright. A memory tickled his consciousness. Something Bones had said, something like 'you learn to live with it, or you don't graduate from med school'. That had almost certainly been in reference to the death of patients, but still, the sentence resonated with him—because this here, right now, was Bones dealing with all the shit that came his way.
He wanted to hug Bones-and Uhura and Chekov for being there for him. But he didn't; he did put on a big smile for them though. It would have to be enough.
"Captain, may I speak to you in private for a moment?" Spock asked, his eyes following a crewman just passing them in the otherwise empty corridor.
"Yeah, sure," Jim answered. "Now's a good time. We've just finished transporting down some tents and temporary lab units-."
Spock didn't let him finish. The minute the crewman disappeared around a bend he pulled Jim into one of the small, unoccupied science labs nearby. Then he activated the lock on the door.
Jim grinned. "Hey, you lied! You don't plan on talking to me, do you?"
His lover narrowed his eyes and pressed Jim up against the nearest bulkhead. A frantic quarter of an hour later Spock left the science lab looking as impeccable as ever; Jim was a shivering mess of disheveled hair and clothing though. While he was trying to work out the quickest path from this section to his quarters so he could warm up under a thick blanket, Uhura passed them on the way to her quarters. She greeted them, but he could feel the concern in her eyes boring into the back of his skull until they reached the turbolift. When they were in it, Jim pressed the manual override to bring it to a halt.
"Jim? Are you alright? Should I call for Doctor McCoy?"
"Huh. No. Our love making session was just a little chilling, that's all," he said, narrowing his eyes slightly.
He shouldn't be angry at Spock. It wasn't his fault that the onslaught of the Katras had left his blood burning stronger than ever, and he did want to help him out … but that was the crux of the problem: he couldn't turn Spock down knowing how much the guy would suffer if he did. But he also wondered if they'd even be in a relationship at all if it weren't for crazy Vulcan hormones.
"Is that all you wanted to tell me?" Spock asked.
Jim slouched back against the turbo-lift wall. "I'm vacating my quarters tomorrow. You're free to move into them if you like-I'll leave my command shirts hanging in the wardrobe for you. Don't worry though, you can get hold of me any time until the Enterprisebreaks orbit."
"Vulcans do not worry."
"No, 'course not. Wish I could be like you and not deal with this kind of shit."
"You are referring to your emotions?"
Jim re-engaged the turbo-lift controls. This conversation wasn't going anywhere. When they got to deck six and the doors opened Spock placed a hand lightly on Jim's chest.
"Yes, Spock?"
"How do you usually deal with your emotions?"
Jim sighed. "Go look after the ship. I'll look after myself."
Spock slowly dropped his hand, letting it brush Jim's civilian shirt on its way down, before pressing his fore- and middle-finger against his lover's.
Once the doors had closed behind Spock, Jim stared at them. "Go look after your ship," he whispered.
A few seconds later the computer prompted him for a destination.
You either learn to deal or ….
He'd never thought such statements applied to Captain James T. Kirk, but maybe it was time to admit that they did.
Jim hurried through the corridor towards the door, but once he reached it he paused to try and straighten out his hair a bit. Spock could kill him later for this.
"Lieutenant Uhura?" he asked as he pressed the chime.
The door opened.
"Captain? Is everything alright?"
"Um. Could I come in?"
"Of course." She quickly stepped out of the way to allow him in.
"Would you like to sit down?" she asked when he didn't say anything.
"Ah, I guess that might be best."
They took a seat on the red lounger in her room.
"I heard you'll be staying on Saketh," she said.
"Yeah. I'll have my tent set up down there by tomorrow morning at the latest."
"Kirk?"
"Mh?"
"You've never come to talk to me like this before. Somehow I find it hard to believe you couldn't find anyone else to talk to about tents." Amusement lit up her eyes. "I'm sure Spock would listen to you if no one else."
Jim suppressed the urge to wring his hands. "Yeah. Spock."
She leant forward. "I'm listening."
Was she expecting to hear how he was worried about crew's possible reactions to the change in command? How much he'd miss the Enterprise? He wasn't sure.
"I'm in a relationship with someone."
"That's … certainly not what I thought you were going to say. But go on," she said with a warm smile.
"I don't want to just drag you into this. It's not cleared with the admirals, because I can't see them approving it. So, I'll let you decide-."
"Go on, Kirk!" she laughed. "If anyone knows what it's like to have to keep a relationship hidden, it's me."
"Yeah. Exactly." He looked down and scratched the nape of his neck.
No going back now.
"I'm in a relationship with Spock."
He didn't want to meet her eyes, but she'd been silent for too long now. When he sat himself up straight, he saw that she'd closed her eyes and was pinching the bridge of her nose.
She bit her lip and sighed. "Who else knows? Doctor McCoy? Scotty?"
Her voice was formal; she was doing an admirable job of staying professional. He couldn't tell exactly what she was thinking.
"No. Well, I think Bones knows, but I don't think I told him. I can't remember, really. I know he said he didn't want to know."
Silence.
"I guess you want me to leave now?" Jim said eventually.
"How long? Captain. If I may ask? No, sorry, that question was out of line."
"Um. It's fine, really. Remember when we discovered the Katric Ark? After that. Well, kind of it. It's complicated. I'm sorry-I know it's not been long since you two broke up."
He ran his hand through his hair, ruffling it up again. It was then that Uhura's neutral façade cracked.
"It's been a fair few months," she said. "I'm just … ."
Jim let her find her composure again.
"Nothing is ever simple with Spock," she said softly.
She let her hands fall to her lap and relaxed her posture. "Believe me, Kirk. Again-I know."
He knew she did.
"Can I ask a question in return? It's incredibly personal, I realize, so feel free to chuck me out. Really, feel free." He smiled wryly and waited for her to nod before forging on. "Did he ever tell you that he loved you?"
Her eyes opened wide.
"I'm sorry, Uhura, I shouldn't have asked."
"Yes," she said quickly.
Jim fought the feeling of nausea in his stomach. But in an instant Uhura had moved closer and was squeezing his biceps.
"But only once. In all the time we were a couple, he only told me once. And in the very next sentence he told me that he'd be leaving. He was going to resign his commission to be with the surviving Vulcans."
"Thank you for sharing that with me, Uhura."
He took her hand and squeezed it tightly. It was still an awkward atmosphere in the room; how could it not be?
"I know it's far from easy, being in love with him," she whispered. "Spock isn't human. And he never will be."
Jim nodded. "Yeah, I know that."
She took a deep breath and stood up. He followed suit.
"Good luck, Jim."
"Thanks. I know I'll need it. So … it's 'Jim' now, is it? Does that mean I get to call you Ny-?"
"No. It's Uhura," she snapped in reply.
He held his hands up and grinned. "Fine, fine. Just asking."
The breeze was crisp and slightly salty that morning, since it was blowing in from the ocean. It had been a nice thing to wake up to, Jim decided as he surveyed the map in his hands. The base camp as well as those places where they could safely camp were marked out by the red dots, which were spread far and wide on this peninsular. That would mean a lot of hiking as the terrain wasn't suitable to land a shuttle craft on. The only shuttle they had would be parked at base and only used in emergencies (or when Jim wanted to practice flying, something he was looking forward to a lot).
Ensign Li approached him holding a PADD. "Captain, there's a message for you."
"Let's see it, then."
It was from Doctor Sargoni, congratulating him on securing a planet for the Vulcans and asking him a few general questions about Saketh. Jim grinned. He wrote a few quick lines about the climate and the plants, adding that he looked forward to meeting him in person when he arrived on Saketh where he'd be able to put his services to use caring for all the Vulcans, both female and male. There was a lot more he wanted to say of course, to tell him about the stones, but he was sure Sargoni would hear soon enough.
Li took the PADD off him again and left with a quick salute, which made Jim smile. He walked in the opposite direction to her, back to base, where he spent the next hour rechecking the food supplies and making sure they had everything else they might possibly need. Apart from himself and five of the Vulcan scientists, two geologists from the Excalibur would also be staying on the planet.
They had enough materials to build a few more structures, should they find the time. Mostly they'd be hiking, setting up their tents, collecting samples and taking them back to base to analyse until the first supply ships arrived. He was interrupted in his musings when he heard the angry voice of his doctor.
"Jim! You're not meant to be stressing yourself out organizing this! If this is how you're going to act, I'm going to order your ass back onboard."
"Hi Bones, good morning to you too."
When Bones saw the huge grin that was plastered across his patient's face, he stopped.
"Sorry, what were you saying, Bones? Something about me being stressed?"
"Well," Bones grumped, but Jim's relaxed posture and easy good mood had taken the wind out of his sails, "you're normally tightly wound when you're organizing a mission. Hmmm. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself here though."
Jim laughed. "Thanks Bones. Was I such a terrible captain?"
"That's not what I said."
"I've been feeling a lot better the past few days," Jim said.
"Yeah, you look a lot better too. And you've only spent three nights here! Jim, we head off on a new assignment tomorrow. One last check up? I want to go over the treatment plan with you again, and also make sure Lieutenant Grey hasn't forgotten how to administer your medication-just in case you can't…."
"It'll be fine, Bones."
"I know kid. Don't know how you're going to stay sane living with these Vulcans though, but it was your choice." His friend smiled at him fondly as they sat down on some metal crates to talk.
Spock stood up from the Vulcan meditation mat on his floor and pulled Jim up with him, their hands still clasped. The kiss Spock gave him then was the most passionate Jim had ever received from him-clearly his lover wanted to make the most of their last night together. Spock sucked on his lips, biting the lower one, and placing an arm around Jim's waist, pressing their groins together.
The kiss ended and Jim put his arms around Spock's neck. "Now that's something I could get used to."
Jim kissed his way from Spock's ear down to his neck, tasting the soft skin there, searching for those places he thought might be most sensitive. He ran his teeth over those areas—no reaction.
"It is really logical to control your body at all times?" Jim asked.
"It is."
"I thought you might say that," Jim said, smiling all the same.
"But you desire to know how you affect me?"
"I'll live," Jim said and planted another kiss on Spock's neck.
He then leant back and grinned at Spock. "You have to control yourself, don't you?"
Spock nodded.
"That's not uncomfortable, is it?"
"There is no need to be concerned, Jim. I am perfectly used to suppressing my emotions and controlling my body. You touching me does not cause me additional discomfort."
Something about what Spock had said was setting off alarm bells. Jim pulled back quickly, leaving his hands on Spock's shoulders though.
"I always thought it was easy for Vulcans to control themselves." He gave Spock a hard, measuring stare.
"It is for Vulcans."
Jim silently regarded his half-human lover for a while. "Do the good days outweigh the bad days?"
"It is illogical to think of life in such a way."
That was a 'no'; he knew it was. Something of his disappointment at this revelation about Spock's lack of happiness in his life must have shown on his features for Spock kissed him again.
"We have talked long enough," Spock said in a low tone.
He gave wry chuckle. "Yeah, sex. What are you going to do when I'm not here?"
"You are here tonight—that will have to suffice."
Jim extracted himself from the embrace. "Well what if it isn't enough … , I don't want you being distracted on the bridge, so I want you to promise me-."
"Jim-."
"No, don't stop me. You don't know what it'll be like once I'm not here anymore. If you need any more 'help', Spock, please, go ahead. I wouldn't want you to suffer. Just try to stay away from the crew, ey? Hopefully you'll get given some diplomatic assignments … ."
"Stop. Jim. Please."
Spock extended two fingers. Jim sighed, but he pressed his own to Spock's.
"Being with you is of course my preferred way of dealing with my problem, but if any issues should arise in your absence," his lover said firmly, "then I will be sure to seek out Doctor McCoy. Although I believe I will find his healing hands to be a poor substitute for yours."
Ha, Jim thought, that will make Bones happy, having to deal with Spock's raging hardons—not. Although, … no, just don't let your mind go there or neither of them will ever forgive you. And right, yeah, sex.
He didn't know how he'd get it up now, but he couldn't deny Spock when he clearly needed this. And he'd probably find his appetite for sex again soon; like, as soon as Spock took off his shirt. With that mental image in mind he grabbed his lover's wrist to draw him towards the bedroom.
It was very early in the morning, but there was still one person he had to see before he left the Enterprise: Bones.
Sickbay was quiet, the monitors made only the occasional beep to let everyone know they were still functioning in case there was an emergency. And in space the next one was always around the corner.
"Only for you, kid, would I ever get out of bed and raise a glass of Scotty's finest this early in the morning! Cheers," Bones said, "to the new Vulcan homeworld—Saketh! A blasted waterworld in the middle of a lawless sector!"
Jim grinned, took his glass and downed it. "Hey, it's water!"
"Yup! You're on medication. So let this be a reminder to you not to touch any alcohol."
"I'm pretty sure none was included in any of our supply crates. Spock probably made sure of that." Jim chuckled.
"Feel free to tell me to shut the fuck up by the way," Bones said, "but I'm curious. I can't help but notice you're still sleeping with someone… ."
"You still haven't told me, how do you kn-?"
Bones raised a hand. "Doesn't the girl get jealous of how close you and Spock are?"
He was studying him closely. Jim decided to be a little Vulcan. He couldn't raise an eyebrow menacingly, but he did know how to glare.
"That's a 'shut up', I take it?" Bones said.
"Yup," Jim replied. "Though I know it won't actually work on you."
"Well, I pity the gossiping crewmembers it might be aimed at one day. Here's to discretion. I think we should drink to that too," Bones said.
It had been odd staring at the small screen in the temporary lab, seeing Spock sitting in the captain's chair, wearing a gold shirt—one of his, he was sure. Now they'd said their farewells and the Enterprisehad gone to warp. She was probably already approaching the edge of this sector.
He kicked some pebbles from the dirt path on the way to his tent. Inside it was a crate with a PADD on top. Whoever'd thought that beaming a crate directly into his personal tent was the idea of the century was going have their ear chewed off when he got the Enterpriseback. He'd have to disassemble half the tiny tent to get it out!
The PADD blinked—one unread message.
Dear Jim,
Please find uploaded onto this PADD the annotated lecture notes of all the courses I attended at the Academy. I hope you find them useful.
I will be sending you regular updates on the happenings onboard the ship. Enclosed in the case are various gifts from your friends. I hope you enjoy them.
Yours,
Spock
The items inside the crate were carefully laid out on top of a bright blue science shirt. A small lump formed in Jim's throat as he pulled it out, making sure the other items weren't damaged. He held onto it tightly with one hand as he took out the other gifts one at a time.
There was a bottle filled to the brim with a clear liquid. A handwritten note attached to it read: 'Doctor McCoy said you'd already lost enough brain cells, but I reckon what he doesn't know can't hurt him. Scotty.' Then next there were some pruning shears, a knife, and a pair of scissors; clearly from Sulu. Those would come in useful on Saketh. Uhura's present to him was a book printed on paper, much thumbed through, with creased pages and notes in the margins—'Basic Vulcan Grammar and Vocabulary'.
When he pulled out a bottle of sky-blue liquid he felt his stomach protest; the last time he'd encountered this stuff was in Vig's and Isamb's lovely company. He read the note from Bones that came with it. 'So here's the rest of that blue stuff. This is so you've got something to offer those Vulcans when you get bored of discussing the many wonderful applications of pure logic.'
So that left a tritanium spanner, the thickets safety gloves he'd ever seen, and a vial of something luminescent yellow. What the hell were these for? If that yellow stuff was what he thought it was, then you'd have to be mad to want to deal with it, although it would explain the gloves.
He put the vial down quickly; it couldn't be anything else. And there was only one person this could've come from-Chekov. Well, modifying the shuttle's engines would make sure that he did test his engineering skills to the maximum and would make learning to pilot the small craft more fun, he couldn't deny that.
When Jim stepped out of his tent, armed with a tricorder, ready to explore Saketh's wilderness, he felt warm and fuzzy all over. Warm, mostly because he was now wearing an additional layer of clothing-the blue science shirt felt soft against his skin.