Chapter 4: Troubled Soul

"So how's the case going," Olivia asked her partner the following day.

"We've got some leads but you shouldn't worry about that now."

"It's all I can worry about Elliot," Olivia said trying to choke back her tears.

Elliot placed his hand on Liv's. "Hey, we're gonna catch the guy I promise." Changing the subject Elliot added, "So I hear you might be getting out of here."

Olivia used her free hand to wipe away some tears. "Um, yeah. The doctor's say hopefully by this afternoon."

"That's great. I have an extra spare bedroom in case you want to crash there."

"Thanks but I'm not going to live in fear Elliot. My apartment is fine. So what can you tell me about the case?"

"Liv…"

"I have to know Elliot. Don't shut me out please."

Elliot took a deep breath. "He's raped before. His first was a little over ten years ago. He wore a condom then but there was a consistency with the hockey mask and the words you told Munch. Then some cases surfaced from six months ago with the same M.O. except he didn't use a condom with those two victims."

"You think he got careless?"

"I don't know maybe. The doc seems to think he has some kind of connection with the four of you."

"So you're saying I was targeted?"

"I wouldn't jump that far just yet but right now it's a possibility."

"Well find out."

"We will. We're gonna get this guy Liv."

"You don't know that."

"We've got a starting point. You can't give up yet."

"Where've you been," Fin asked as Elliot got out of his car. Fin was waiting on a porch.

"With Liv."

"How is she holding up today?"

"She's a mess." Elliot looked up at the door. "So is this the place?"

"Yup, home of victim number one, Madison Frye." Fin knocked on the door. He knocked again and a woman close to Olivia's age answered. "Sorry to bother you ma'am. I'm detective Fin Tutuola, this is my partner Elliot Stabler, and we're from the Special Victims Unit. Are you Madison Frye?"

The woman hesitated. "Nobody… nobody here by that name. You must have the wrong address."

Suddenly a man came to the door. "Honey who is it?"

"No one hon, just salesmen. We're not interested," and with that Madison shut the door.

"Well that was a waste of time," Elliot said as the two made their way down the block where they parked their cars.

"Detectives," said Madison from behind them. The detectives turned around. "You said you were from Special Victims."

"That's right," replied Elliot.

"I'm sorry about earlier, my husband doesn't know about my past. I changed my last name to Montgomery after the attack. I haven't been called by 'Frye' in a long while. You coming to me has something to do with my case doesn't it?"

"Maybe we should take this to our precinct," said Fin.

"I'm not going anywhere," replied Madison.

Elliot looked at the woman. "Mrs. Clemons, we believe the man who raped you ten years ago has surfaced."

Madison crossed her arms. "Are you certain?"

"Yes ma'am," replied Fin.

"Mrs. Clemons," said Elliot, "Do you have some place you can go?"

"Um, my husband owns a winter home up in Vermont."

"We don't want to frighten you," said Elliot, "but now may be the time to take a family vacation.

"But before you do," Fin interjected, "Do you remember anything at all about what happened, maybe something the police didn't may have gotten that stood out somehow?"

Madison looked at her surroundings. She didn't know if anyone may be watching but she wanted to be certain even if she couldn't see them. She then reached in her coat pocket and handed a cassette tape to the detectives.

"This is a recording I have of that night. At the time I was working on a project for a communications class. I had just changed the tape when I got home so it was on the night he attacked me."

Elliot's phone rang and he answered. He stepped away from Fin and Madison.

"You never gave this to the police," Fin asked.

"I did but at the time they couldn't do anything with it since they didn't have the right technology to get an authentic voice from the one he made with the helium balloon. Maybe you can use it now."

Elliot returned and smiled. "Thank you for your help Mrs. Clemons."

Madison let out a small smile. "Detectives, find him. Don't let him hurt anyone else."

Elliot waited until he saw Madison go inside.

"It's a little too late for that," Elliot said to his partner. "That was Cragen: we just got our 5th victim."

"Damn."

By the same time the detectives had been with Madison Clemons, Olivia fidgeted with her keys and made her way inside her apartment. The crime scene had been cleared but there were still a couple of messes from the assault. Not bothering to turn on the lights, she went over to the fridge and grabbed a soda water, then hit play on her answering machine and took a seat on the couch, reaching for the blanket that draped over it, draped it over herself and put her feet up.

'Hey Liv, its El, just checking in. Hope you're okay. Call me.'

'Olivia, its Dr. Wong, if you ever need to talk call me.'

'Hey Olivia, its Casey, heard what happened. I promise I'll prosecute this guy to the full extent once we get him and we will. Call me.'

Olivia didn't mind that her co-workers were worried about her but so early into her abuse she was now reaching a point where she wished they would all back off. She knew they meant well but she refused to see herself as a victim- at least she hoped to not see herself that way. Maybe the sense of feeling like a victim wouldn't go away until the situation itself went away.

The next message played.

'Detective Benson, this is Dr. Callahan from Mercy General Hospital. You signed out AMA before we could tell you the results from the tests we ran. I won't discuss them over the phone but please call me as soon as possible so we can talk. Let me help you with this. Call me.'

That was the last of the messages.

Olivia didn't need a doctor to tell her what she all ready knew. What she had failed to tell Elliot and Munch when they had talked to her was that she had been ovulating at the time she had been raped. Having to talk about the rape was bad and shameful enough. To have to admit that she may have been impregnated by her rapist was something she knew she could not deal with. It was bad enough having to think about it.

It was one of the reasons why she signed out AMA despite her release having not been till the evening, she wasn't sure if she was ready to hear her test results. Olivia knew she was doing everything she told victims not to do but it was different when you became the victim yourself.

It took a while for Olivia to get out of her thoughts when she could finally be coherent enough to hear her cell ring and then a knock at the door.

"Liv, its El, open up."

Olivia stayed in her place. All she wanted was to be left alone. Couldn't people grant her that much at least after all she had been through? Of course not. Her situation was exactly why she wasn't being left alone.

Elliot knocked again and still Olivia refused to get up and answer. It didn't take long for the knocking to stop. Olivia could see Elliot leave due to the lights in the hallway, his shadow getting further and further away from her door.

Tears streamed down Olivia's face. This was the first time since her attack that she did not hold back her emotions. She let them flow freely consuming the darkness and constricting her vision.