I'm sorry this is late. I almost forgot about it today... I've been going through a real life nightmare of my own. Literally. Therefore, I don't have much to say about this chapter.
Dedicated to: Etiena. You inspire me to write. Thank you.
Disclaimer applies. If I owned Bleach, I would've made Aizen change hair colors four different times, just because.

It felt so good. Everything was going perfectly, and she was the happiest person alive.

Okay, so maybe that was too cheesy.

But she was definitely elated. She smiled wherever she went and laughed at the smallest things. Her brother's scowl softened whenever she was around, and her sister practically danced with joy at the thought of becoming an aunt. Nothing could bring her down.

Everything changed when her babies died inside of her. She was feeling fine, their kicks telling her that they were growing—but then, to her surprise and shock, they stopped. There was nothing. Karin began to feel cold inside and ran as fast as she could to the Fourth Division.

She woke up hours later with her sister crying by her side, her brother nowhere to be found, and Toushirou standing stoically in a corner of the room. In tears and through a lot of blubbering, Yuzu told her that she had lost her babies. They were dead, dead, dead, and on top of that, she would never have any children.

Karin cried and cried and cried and cried some more, and then began to bleed crimson flowers. Bleed everywhere. It seemed as if every scar on her had cut open and was bleeding anew, and the pain was overwhelming. Yuzu and Toushirou faded away, and she was all alone. Her heart stopped, and she was dead.

—x—

Karin woke up crying. It took a few minutes to calm down enough to think straight, taking deep breaths. She couldn't stay in bed any longer. Dressing quickly, she ran from the Fifth Division all the way to the Tenth. Karin hadn't been there in years, if ever, but at the moment, nothing mattered.

As she arrived, panting, she took a moment to consider where she wanted to go. The office, she decided after some deliberation. Swiftly, she ran again until she reached her desired door. Karin knocked, not quite sure if she was expecting a reply, but she received one. Taking a breath, knowing that it was possible she wasn't welcome, she opened the door.

"Karin!" Toushirou exclaimed in surprise. "I wasn't expecting you…" His voice died and trailed off as he stood up from his desk.

She approached him quickly. "Toushirou, I know maybe you don't want to see me right now, but I needed to see you."

He blinked, astonished she thought that way about him. "First, calm down," he told her, walking towards one of the couches. She followed and sat next to him. After a few minutes, he spoke again, turning to her. "What made you run to the Tenth Division at four in the morning?" he asked quietly. Toushirou knew she was upset, so he was trying to be gentle. The last thing he needed was the rest of the division to wake up because of a fight or her breaking into hysterics.

She began to cry, though she was fighting back the tears. "A nightmare. They're coming back and they're always about children." Karin looked up, locking her eyes with his. "They always die, without exception. That's the worst part. Why do they always have to die?" she asked, her voice cracking.

Tentatively, he placed a hand on hers. "I've been having those too," he said, remembering the dream of two dead little girls and a bleeding boy. He didn't know what else to say to her, but telling her about that would make her feel worse.

"Did my captain talk to you?" she asked unexpectedly, as if she was determined to pretend that her nightmares weren't bothering her. The circles under her eyes told differently. "She asked me what I thought about her insane idea of us pretending to be married."

"Hinamori did bring it up at the meeting yesterday." He looked at her. "Do you want to go through with it?"

Yes, I love you; I want to, I want to be married for real… "Well, if only to finally clear the clouds hanging over everyone. We need to restore the peace around here." Her eyes looked pained. "Toushirou, is there any point to this?"

"I don't know. Is there ever a point to things like this?" Toushirou's eyes reflected hers.

"Tell me what was decided at the meeting. Captain didn't say anything when she got back, and she said she'd talk about her idea. It involves me; I have to know." She scooted closer to him.

He closed his eyes and sighed deeply, but began. "Besides that the Captain-Commander is greatly considering the idea since Hinamori displayed a very advanced kidou spell, nothing was decided. A few of the other captains are for her idea because of it. Are you aware that she created a spell to mimic pregnancy?"

"No," she whispered in a low voice. Captain really has been thinking this through.

"Well, not only did she do that, she told us that she came to the conclusion that this choice we have to make isn't truly in existence. Our zanpaku-tou made it up because they were worried that what happened hundreds of years ago would happen again if they didn't do something about it. That's what Hinamori believes." It seems so believable that I just might think that way too.

Karin's eyes widened. "And it just might have," she choked. "If we had just a regular relationship, we'd be dead by now. We would have been taken by surprise by those Hollows and we'd have been destroyed. Just like the last time this happened to Soul Society." She glanced at him, a pleading look entering her eyes. "But that doesn't mean the same now! We've been warned; we know what to do in case we get attacked. You and I can still love each other, can't we?"

He looked at her, struggling to contain his emotions. "Karin, are you sure you don't want someone normal? Are you sure that this is what you want, to fight for your life because of us?"

"I'll admit that I wanted a normal relationship, but Toushirou, ever since I was six, I've been dreaming of you. I've loved you since I was alive. I never had a chance at normal." Karin took his hand. "Please. I know you care about me. You've been dreaming about me for decades; you were dying to meet me. You can't tell me that you want to let that all go, because even if you do, I will appear in them again." She said it with so much force she was shaking.

Toushirou remembered. He remembered the welling of delight when he would find her in his dreams, the love he began to feel shortly before he met her in person. He recalled the fun adventures they had, the comfort it brought him when he was lonely. I don't. I don't want to let it go. I've been trying to protect you for years; it hasn't worked. Is it because I was afraid you'd die again and I wouldn't be able to save you the second time? Is it because I don't want to think of lives being lost before they live? "I think… I think that Hinamori's idea is… the only thing we can do."

Karin nodded in agreement, her tears dried and her eyes fierce. "Let's do it."

Emotional!Karin. It was short, but intense. I guess. The next chapter is probably also going to be short, seeing as I haven't finished it yet. Tension is rising...