It had been a week of searching through mental facility and mental facility before he finally located a 'L. Mitchell' at a house on the edge of town. Or more like a neighborhood. But Kendall knew it was urgent that he see the boy to get his closure and move on. This wasn't because he had any feeling for the boy at all, he just needed to make sure he was safe and doing better. Any good, concerned citizen would have done the same and Kendall knew it. He wasn't gay; god condemned the choice of the gay lifestyle and he knew he had not chosen to be gay, because he wasn't. It wasn't gay to lay in bed, unable to sleep because you're thinking about a kiss with a boy, or having a dream about hot sex with a male hooker.
Because Kendall Knight wasn't gay, it just wasn't possible.
But still, he needed to see the boy from the camp again because it was the only thing that could help him to accept what happened that day. He had to make it clear to the crazy boy that the kiss meant absolutely nothing and didn't change anything in him. That his beautiful brunette hair or skinny figure was not always on his mind now, because it wasn't.
Logan sat on Fender's bed listening to him expertly play guitar while Jennifer sang; Fender refused to talk, but he seemed to speak through his beloved instrument. It was like it was his mouth speaking and Logan loved it. Logan had always loved music and finding two people with his same problems who were the same way was comforting. Jennifer was the complete opposite of Fender though; she would never be quiet and continued to just talk on and on, even when it was too herself. She'd slip in and out of different accents, while speaking, or take on different traits of a certain group of people for the day. Logan enjoyed her company, but at times, all he wanted was silence and that wasn't something that she could manage. So he still spent half of the day by himself, but he spent a lot of time with them now; and they loved to sing together. Fender with his guitar, Jennifer with her angelic voice; it was truly amazing for Logan to experience, but he never intruded or tried to insert himself in the beauty cause he knew he'd ruin it. He wasn't any type of singer and so he just played the part of their audience always, but it didn't mean that Jennifer didn't pester him to join them.
"Come on Logan," the girl said, her curls bouncing up and down as she jumped to get Logan up.
"No, I have … things to do back at my room anyway," Logan replied, getting out of his spot in the bed to head for the door.
"I don't believe you at all," Jennifer retorted with her arms across her chest and a pout on her lips.
"I have to go."
"Why won't you ever just sing with me, I'm sure you'd be incredible?"
"I will, but I have to go to my room to watch, Ellen, yeah Ellen."
"Riiigggghhhhttt, I'm supposed to believe that."
"I'm serious, I've got to go, but you shouldn't stop, have fun, I'll come back later," Logan rushed out of the bedroom and down to his own and turned on the TV. There was no internet allowed in the facilities so as to not set off anyone's progress.
The program was very specific on when that would be allowed and it wasn't time, so instead, the 90's style, outdated bedroom had a small TV with a Boom box plugged in behind the bed, sitting on the table on the opposite side of the bed from the night stand. Logan loved to listen to Gwen Stefani, so he had all of her 'No Doubt' and solo albums sitting on top of his player which he frequently used like everyone else; music was a bond most people here had. The neighborhood resembled a period piece, being built and styled in the mid nineties and being frozen in place because it was cheaper that way. The newest things to be brought in were converter boxes for the bedroom television sets and maybe a new bed here and there. Logan liked it, it felt homey to him, or at least more like a home than the one he'd had his whole life.
He did think it was weird thought that he of all people was a High School drop-out because he loved to learn so much, but he didn't mind anymore. He continued to study and get ready so that as soon as he got out of the house, he could go back to school and finish the right way. He was going to be a doctor; he didn't care how hard he'd have to work. That's when he heard a knock at the door and got up to open it.
Kendall looked the small boy over and lost all his resolve and everything he had been preparing to say; he had came to tell Logan that he felt absolutely nothing for him, but that he wanted to make sure he was alright. He wanted to see if he was okay; that was all. But the boy caused the world to disappear around him. He didn't know what to do when the innocent eyes began to search his own, but he felt a sudden urge that he'd never had before.
He smashed his lips into Logan's and wrapped his arms around the dark-haired teen's waist to draw him closer. Kendall tried to gain permission to enter his mouth with his tongue, but Logan was being stern, keeping his lips shut tight, so Kendall gave up and just licked his lips. After a long time of standing in the door-way, they both finally went up for air and Logan then ushered him into the room. Kendall was impressed; his vision was a white room with a simple bed and a window with bars, but instead, there was a large open window covered by a Demi Lovato poster with a TV and a closet with a night stand and bright blue walls. The closet was small and the bed looked like a twin, but it looked like just an average kid's bedroom. This day was full of surprises for him. He took a seat on the bed when Logan finally turned and addressed him.
"Why are you here," Logan said, the anger starting to appear in his voice, but still slightly hidden.
"I, I was worried about you, and you, You've been the only thing on my mind for, for a long time now, since, since the-," he was having so much trouble while under the thin boys gaze; his eyes looked like conflicted seas of chocolate, asking for direction.
"The kiss," Logan offered, walking up to the bed and sitting next to Kendall.
"Look, I know that there is nothing I can say or do that could undo what the camp did to you, but you made me realize something about myself," Kendall said, ashamed to look in the eyes the boy that his father, the pastor, had driven insane.
"It's not your fault Kendall," Logan said sympathetically, "you didn't do it, they did."
"Yeah, but I feel so guilty about everything around you," Kendall responded, looking him directly in the eyes, "Because I think I have feelings for you. Not that I'm gay, but something about you strikes me like I've never felt before."
"Well, no one ever said you were."
"Yeah, but you kissed me and I didn't freak out; I can see how that would confuse you and I just felt you should know," Kendall said, knowing that that wasn't the whole truth, but never admitting it.
"Kendall, you hurt me more than you can understand," Logan looked away this time, "you gave me the best feeling I'd ever had and then stole it from me in the very same instant. When I woke up and you weren't there, I thought I'd died. You'd killed me."
"I'm here now," said Kendall defensively, "I just couldn't be there then, I wasn't ready."
"Kendall, I'm not just something you can try on," Logan responded, the frustration obvious this time, "I'm not your toy; you can't play with me just when you feel like it and then forget about me."
"I can't commit that Logan," Kendall replied, scared of how the boy would react, "I'm not like you, I'm not, that, and I refuse to choose to be. I just need to work out my feelings for you."
"If I'm just something for you to get over your feeling for other men, then get out," Logan yelled, standing up and ushering him towards the door. "I'm not in an emotional state to be messed with again," he said, the tears welling up in his eyes, "Leave, because you aren't doing this again. You aren't going to give me everything I want and then take it. I'll avoid it completely this time. So get out."
Logan wasn't going to end up as bad as last time because of emotions; he would simply move on and forget about the blonde boy completely.
"Fine, If you want me to go, I will!" Kendall got up from the bed and stormed out, slamming the door behind him and leaving the pamphlets on a table in the living area before leaving the house completely. He wouldn't be treated with such indignity when he was the sane one, but after leaving the person who seemed to rule his thoughts, was he?
Logan slipped onto his knees and began to sob while reassuring himself that he was better off; he didn't need the voices to cope this time, he had wonderful friends to do that. Jennifer came in a while later and helped Logan to the bed were she could rest him against her chest.
"What happened here Logie," Jennifer said sympathetically while running her fingers through his dark hair, "Who hurt you."
"No one," Logan whimpered out, "I just felt really sad."
"I know you better than that Logan," she said, kissing the top of his head like a mother would, "was it that boy you told me about. Kendall."
"Yes," Logan responded sobbing, letting the painful waves hit his chest while hugging Jennifer's stomach tight, "He came by about an hour ago and then he, he, I don't want to talk about it anymore."
"I swear, if he ever comes back, come get me because I'm gonna rough him up so bad," she finally got him to smile when he looked up at her, "but it's Wednesday and Top Model is on, so can I watch in here."
Logan giggled a little before handing his friend the remote, "Sure, I'll bring us up some dinner." He was wiping tears off his face while Jennifer got comfortable in his bed. Quickly, he traveled down stairs into the kitchen when he saw the stack of papers sitting on the table in the center of the room. Logan went over to them and picked them all up when he realized there was scribbled hand-writing scrolled across the paper on top.
'Logan Knight'
'Logan Mitchell Knight'
'Kendall + Logan'
'Mr. Kendall and Mr. Mrs. Logan Knight'
'NOT GAY' was what the very last scribble said, but the notes certainly advised against that; Logan folded the paper in his hands and put it in his pocket before checking the rest. All the rest had the same things about the camp and the church and the pastor and his family, so Logan did the thing anyone with a slight grudge would do. He put them all in the bottom of the trash can while serving himself and Jay the macaroni-n-cheese, which the nurses had delivered at six for the rest of the house. It looked like everyone had already eaten because it was almost empty, but Logan made sure to leave a little in case someone forgot. He would hate to make someone else feel left out.
Kendall put his foot to the pedal of the car as he sped away from the neighborhood, but something inside of him was screaming for him to stop. To pull the car around and go right back there and take that boy in his arms and never let him go.
Because he realized in that moment that something very deep connected the two of them. He didn't have to be gay to like another boy specifically. He decided that obviously he was Bisexual and that's how he could ever like the petite teen. Not gay, but Bi and that was fine with him, but somehow he knew even that wasn't true. He took a sharp turn into a small pharmacy before running inside and buying a few things. He wasn't losing Logan before he had gotten him yet.
Logan and Jennifer were both finishing their dinner when they heard the door knock again and Logan went instinctively to get it. He swung the door open and there was Kendall again, leaning on the frame with a smirk and an arm behind his back.
Pulling the rose from behind him, Kendall looked deep into the smaller boy's eyes and simply said, "I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are." *smirk*
Author's Note: So I don't know if you've realized it yet, but their thing in this story is cheesy pick up lines which I fell in love with while going through a list of them for chapter one. My boyfriend laughs at me, but I think they are totally cute. I'm going to address this one last time just to clear up any final confusion, but the whole story is in 3rd person, it's just my first time to write something like this. For everyone that actually answered my Logan rant question, I have to say, I tried to reread it and I still don't get it at all. Have no idea how I wrote it. Okay also, I've worked out a schedule for posting and don't hate me, but I'm only putting out three chapters of this story a week. The reason is, I just finished writing it and I want it to last at least a month so I can take a break and get ahead in some other stories that'll pop up soon. So expect a post on Tuesdays, then Friday, and then Saturday. No times anymore. I like for everything to be on a schedule; so really, it's just easier for me to do it like this. Sorry. I really hope you won't quit the story and can still love me. Cause I love you all a lot; thanks for your incredible responses and kindness, you all are truly the best audience a writer like me could have. Love Ya. XoXo.