I'll Follow You Home – A Zutara Story.
Meeoko
Summary : Sequel to 'Eventualities Are Inevitable'. After being captured by a group of Fire Nation radicals and uncovering a secret plot to destroy the Avatar Cycle, Zuko and Katara must work together to find a way to stop the Sila Vatra before Sozin's Comet arrives.
Spoilers : Puppet Master, Day Of Black Sun part 1 and 2, Western Air Temple, Fire Bending Masters and Boiling Rock part 1 and 2.
Author's Note : Hey guys. Tried to get this chapter up as quickly as poss. I've been having a bit of writers block recently. To get the creative juices flowing, I wrote another little Zutara one-off and when I'd gotten the writers bug back, I managed to finish this one.
This chapter was a particularly difficult one. There's lots of angsty stuff in this chapter, as you'll soon see and I had to work out the kinks in some situations so that it would make sense.
Katara sighed.
Everything had been decided.
She had only the rest of the day to spend with her friends before they were all split up again.
Katara wondered briefly if this might be the last time they saw each other.
What if one of us doesn't make it back?
After the meeting was over, Katara had tried to catch up with her father and Sokka, but they had waved her away sadly, saying that they had much to do in a very short space of time.
She vaguely wondered if she should talk to Zuko, but he also seemed to have disappeared.
So she had waited. For almost an hour, she had sat down on a log around the campfire with her knees pulled up to her chest. She thought hard about everything that was about to happen and everything that had led up to this moment. For a while, Katara blocked everything out and just left herself swimming in her own thoughts and worries.
Perhaps this is the sort of thing Zuko thinks about whenever he just sits and says nothing.
"Katara?"
Looking up from her log, Katara noticed Aang standing in front of her, rubbing his arm nervously. She hadn't expected to hear from him after he had been so indifferent with her earlier. But Katara was relieved.
At least he was speaking to her now.
"Hey Aang. What's up?" she asked, trying to force a smile despite her mood.
"Can I just...can I talk to you for a minute, Katara?" the young boy asked, sitting down beside her.
"Of course you can. Is everything okay?"
Katara noticed that the Airbender wouldn't look at her. He was twiddling his thumbs impatiently.
"Katara, I just wanted to say a few things before...before you leave tomorrow. We've been friends for a long time now, right?"
Why won't he look at me?
Katara nodded, trying not to let her worry show. Aang continued.
"Well, it's just...well, you and Sokka have really helped me through a lot of stuff. I mean, if it weren't for you guys, I'd still be in that iceberg. The world would be a little worse off if you hadn't...hadn't helped me realise what I was supposed to do. And now that you're leaving...well..."
Aang trailed off, unsure how best to finish his sentence. Katara thought that she understood what Aang was trying to say.
"It's okay, Aang. I know what you're trying to say." she soothed "You and Toph and my brother...you've all been my family for a while now. If it weren't for you, I never would have learnt Water Bending or got to travel the world."
"That's part of it." Aang replied, his voice barely above a whisper. "But what I wanted to say...I mean...you Katara, you especially...you helped me to be everything that I am now. I never thought that I'd have to let you go, but..."
Oh no. Does he know about me and Zuko? Is he going to...finally tell me how he feels?
"...when you and Zuko got captured...I didn't know what to do. We looked everywhere. Nobody had seen you, no idea where you were. The longer you were away, the worse I felt. It felt like every day you weren't here, a little part of me died inside. And after all that time and all that searching, without a single word or clue...I thought...I thought you were dead, Katara."
Katara bit the inside of her lip, trying not to cry. But she remained silent as Aang continued. She didn't know what to say to him.
"Katara, there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time now."
Oh no. He's going to tell me...what am I supposed to say? What should I tell him? What about the comet? What if I hurt him?
Taking a deep breath, Aang readied himself and continued. It seemed as if telling her this was physically draining him.
"Do you remember when we were in Ba Sing Se and I went to go see Guru Pathik? He told me he could help me to master the Avatar State? Well, to master it, I had to do something. I had to let go of someone...someone I loved. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't let go. I couldn't let go of you, Katara."
Katara felt a single tear sliding down her cheek. She turned her head away from Aang and looked down at the floor. The tear fell from her face into the dirt below.
"Aang...I-"
But the Avatar simply held up his hand, effectively silencing her. Katara was a little glad. She hadn't even been sure what she was going to say herself.
"It's okay, Katara. That's...that's not the end of it. When you were gone...when I thought that you were dead and that I'd never see you again, all I could think about was how I could change things."
He looked up at her and gave her the tiniest of smiles.
"I wanted to change things, so that if you were really gone, I could still avenge you. I could continue to do what you'd wanted me to. To help save the world. So I..."
Katara's face felt cold. Everything seemed a little darker and at the same time, a little lighter. She knew what Aang was going to say, before he even said it.
"So you let me go." she whispered.
Aang sighed and nodded. His own voice was just as small as her own, but he seemed to have something that she didn't. Certainty. Confidence.
"It wasn't easy. For days I didn't do anything. I just slept and cried. I didn't want to do anything at all. It felt as if the whole world had just...gone. So I just...sat there, waiting for something. I didn't even know what it was. Some days were hard and some weren't so bad. But I talked with Roku and he told me...he told me that my duty as the Avatar was not always easy. The there would be pain. But being the Avatar...being a person...it's all the same. Everyone feels heartbreak. Everyone feels sadness. So I realised that I'd have to do something about it, instead of letting the whole world down. I had to, Katara. I had to."
Katara sniffed. She didn't know why she felt so sad.
After all, she'd been expecting something like this. And deep down inside, she'd been hoping.
At least this way, she wouldn't be the one responsible for breaking his heart.
Although in a way, I still am...
"Is that...is that why you've been so distant with me lately?" Katara asked quietly.
The young boy nodded.
His eyes seemed completely clouded over, as if he could hear what he was saying, but didn't really feel or even understand it.
He's been feeling guilty. He feels like he abandoned me.
"So did it...did it work?" she murmured, trying desperately to change the subject.
"Did what work?" he asked her. Katara tried very hard not to fling herself down on the floor and cry.
"Have you...have you mastered the Avatar State?"
Aang sighed and kicked softly at a rock on the ground.
"I'm not sure. When I left Guru Pathik, he said that if I didn't release my seventh chakra, then I wouldn't be able to go into the Avatar State at all. But then in Ba Sing Se, before Azula...before Azula hit me, I was able to enter the Avatar State. It's just that after that...I haven't been able to. I don't know how any of it works. Because Roku said that if an Avatar was killed whilst in the Avatar State, the reincarnation cycle would end. But you brought me back. I asked Roku about it and he says that he doesn't know what will happen. Maybe when the time comes, I'll know what to do and I can go into the Avatar State. If I can, then that means that...that the cycle is still in tact."
Katara felt a little stunned. She hadn't even realized that Aang hadn't entered the Avatar State since the attack in Ba Sing Se. She suddenly felt an incredibly pressing sadness for this young boy. He had everything weighted on his shoulders, the whole world.
"At least the Fire Lord doesn't know you can't enter the Avatar State. That gives us an advantage, I guess."
Aang shook his head. He rubbed a hand over his eyes.
"I might still be able to. The Avatar State only ever activated when I was angry or upset. Maybe because I didn't master it the first time as I should have, it can only be activated like it did before. We'll really never know until I face Ozai."
Katara bowed her head, feeling ashamed.
All this time and he never told me. All of this, it's all my fault.
Aang continued, his gaze fixed intently on his feet.
"I just felt that I needed to be honest with you, Katara. Nobody knows how this is going to end. We might never see each other again and I...I just don't want there to be any secrets between us."
Katara's heart seemed to deflate in her chest upon hearing those words.
Inching closer to him on the log, Katara wrapped her arms around the young boy in a hug. She knew just how close she was to tears.
She desperately wanted to tell him about her and Zuko. No secrets.
But her better judgement won over.
I can't tell him. Not yet. He's not stable right now. I don't need to add any more stress on top of everything else he's going through.
Aang didn't stiffen as he usually did whenever Katara touched him.
Raising his gaze from the floor, he turned to face her and reluctantly returned the hug. His feeble, frail arms were lax around her shoulders, as if his heart wasn't in the hug.
"You're my best friend, Aang." Katara sniffed, forcing the tears back inside herself. "If I have to take down the Fire Lord myself just to make it back here, I will. Nothing is going to happen to any of us, because I'll make sure that it doesn't. We'll all be together again, Aang. When this is over, we'll all be back together again. I promise."
This isn't the end. It's just the beginning.
Katara felt a wet tear on her arm. Aang sniffed.
Suddenly, his limp arms clasped around her tightly, as if his life depended on her embrace. It was exactly the same kind of desperate, loving hug they used to share. When he rescued her from the Crystal Catacombs of Ba Sing Se, after the attack at the North Pole.
He doesn't resent me for this. He's just been feeling guilty. Thank the spirits!
Katara felt comforted that even though Aang no longer saw her the way he used to, he still saw her as a friend.
The sat there for almost a full ten minutes, locked in the embrace.
This is it. He's finally let go. This is the last time I will see him as a boy. When I see him again, he will be a man.
The moon had risen. The whole temple basked in the gentle light.
Rubbing at her eye's, Katara finally emerged from her room. She had been crying since her discussion with Aang.
Everything was changing now. Nothing would ever be the same again.
Will he ever be able to look at me the same way? To laugh with me? To talk to me?
Katara hadn't been crying because she was scared of what was to come, what Aang had said or because she had to leave him on such awful terms. Katara had been crying because of what she had lost.
My friend.
For a long time, Katara had always considered Aang to be one of her greatest friends. He had always been there with her through the thick and thin, making her laugh and crying with her. Without Aang, she would still be living at the South Pole with her Gran-Gran, not knowing anything more than survival and trying to pass the time. She wouldn't be the person she was today without Aang.
...and now, he's just changed. It's like a part of him has died.
It was as if a little piece of herself had been ripped away. Although she understood why Aang had had to do what he did and act how he had been acting, it still hurt. Never again would things be the same between them.
Even if they did manage to defeat the Fire Lord and win the war...even if they lived forever in eternal peace...would Aang still be able to talk to her as he once had? As her friend? Her pupil?
Will he be able to talk to me at all?
Katara stuck to the shadows as she headed up the winding marble stairs, towards her secret spot. She often went there to think and to be alone.
She didn't want anybody to spot her now – especially in the state she was in.
Her small footsteps echoed through the stone. The underside of her palm felt cold and damp as it skimmed across the walls. The breeze was chilling and the darkness of the temple was a little haunting.
Katara could hear the happy voices around the campfire. The group was making the most of their time together before they had to leave in the morning. Laughter followed her up the stairs and out into the open as she reached the end of the stairway and into the moonlight.
Vaguely, Katara remembered that she had sat in this very spot the night she and Zuko were captured by the Sila Vatra.
Everything had just seemed so much simpler back then. Everything had a reason. Everything had an explanation. And everything had mattered.
Learn Fire Bending. Invade the Fire Nation. Take down Ozai. It was all we knew. All we cared about.
Placing her hand on the bark of a tree growing out from the roof of the temple, Katara sniffed and rubbed at her eyes again, trying to dispel any thoughts about Aang, the upcoming mission, the comet or the Fire Lord.
"Katara?"
She jumped, darting her head around in a readied attack stance. For a moment, she couldn't see anything but the darkness. But when she looked hard enough, she could just make them out.
A pair of golden eyes, one squinted slightly, staring at her from the distance.
"Zuko." Katara breathed a sigh of relief. For an instant, her whole being had been flooded with fear, petrified that the Sila Vatra had returned.
"Katara, are you okay?" Zuko asked tenderly "Have you been...crying?"
Turning away from him, Katara leant herself against the bark of the tree. She tried to wipe at her eyes, although she knew it was a feeble attempt. They were red and puffy from crying and she couldn't help but sniff.
"I'm fine Zuko. Really. What are you doing up here anyway?"
She could hear his light footsteps in the grass behind her. But she still didn't look at him.
How long has he been standing there?
"I come up here sometimes to think. I was already here when you came up, but I guess you didn't notice me." he sighed, his golden eyes seeming to cloud over a little "Katara, are you...are you okay?"
Don't let him see you like this. You're better than this. Get a hold of yourself, Katara.
Katara tried not to look at him, as she tried to busy herself with picking away at the old bark of the tree. She tried to make her voice sound bigger and more confident, but instead it just came out as a feeble squeak.
"Stop worrying about me, Zuko. I'm fine. Why shouldn't I be?"
For a moment, there was silence. Katara tried to blink quickly, to force her tears back inside herself.
"It's okay, Katara. I know...I know what Aang said."
Instantly, Katara shot her head back around. She almost crashed right into Zuko's face. She hadn't realised just how close he had been.
Do you always have to move like a ninja?
"Were you...were you spying on us?" Katara snarled at him. She was utterly furious at the thought that anyone would listen in on a private conversation, especially one so personal.
Zuko immediately threw up his hands, defensively. He moved away from her, cautious of her anger. He had obviously taken note of exactly what she was capable of when she was in a temper.
"No, no! I wasn't eavesdropping. I promise. Toph told me."
Katara's face softened. But then as the message sank in, it hardened again. She raised her eyebrow, with her mouth hanging open slightly.
"Toph? How does she...wait - was she spying on us?"
Zuko sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. He looked a little uncomfortable.
Katara knew that he was still wary of his status as a friend among the group and he didn't seem to want to betray the confidence of the one certain friend he had.
"Nobody was spying on you, Katara. Don't blame Toph. She wasn't spying on you. She knew because..."
He looked at her a little uncertainly.
Katara's face was fixed. She didn't know what she should be feeling. It was if she had cried all of the emotion out of her hours ago.
She felt nothing, numb.
Zuko continued, if a little reluctantly. Katara felt as if he was keeping something back from her, but she didn't question it.
"...because she spent a lot of her time comforting him while we were gone. He told her everything. She went through the whole ordeal with him. She stayed by his side for days when he was talking with Roku. That's why everyone has been acting a little off lately. They had already started to say their goodbye's before we got back. Everyone thought we were dead, Katara."
Lowering her head, Katara could feel the tears reforming. She willed them, pleaded with them not to spill over. She didn't want to have to cry anymore.
How could this happen? I thought that nothing could break us, but now we're coming apart at the seams. We're all destroying each other from the inside out with guilt and sadness and lies.
"Things aren't going to be the same ever again after this, are they?" she whispered, her cheeks feeling flushed and clammy.
Zuko walked toward her slowly and timidly reached out a hand. Placing his palm under her chin, Zuko lifted her face upwards to meet his gaze. Katara felt silly and incredibly vulnerable.
I won't let him see me cry. I won't. Spirits strike me down if I do!
Leaning a little closer toward her, Zuko smiled down into her puffy red eyes. The warmth from his hand comforted Katara. It was almost like a shield, keeping her from all of the hardships of the world. It was simply from that touch and that look, that was the undoing of Katara's reserve.
Somebody cares. Zuko cares.
Hot, salty tears began to fall from her eyes and run down her cheeks. She cursed herself inwardly for letting him see her this way. Katara hated when people saw her crying. She had to be strong. She couldn't cry.
But Zuko's face was confident. He was smiling gently and his voice was certain and soothing when he spoke to her.
"Things may not always be the same, Katara. But with change, comes better and brighter things. When a seed falls from the tree, it sprouts its roots it and grows bigger. We're just going to have to do the same. We're going to have to grow."
Through her tears, Katara smiled.
I'm so glad you just said 'we'.
For a moment, Zuko had sounded like his Uncle. Of the few experiences Katara had had with the cheerful old man, he had always seemed earnest and kind.
In some small part of her mind, Katara was betting that Zuko was feeling very pleased with himself for coming up with something so wise. It just seemed like something that a guy would do.
Feeling the tears trickling down her neck and onto Zuko's fingers, Katara felt as if she were a little lighter after hearing Zuko's words. It seemed as if something had lifted from her chest that she hadn't realized was there before. It gave her something to hope for, something to strive for in these hard times.
I just have to grow. Move on and grow. And everything will be alright.
"Zuko. I just...I wanted to say...I..thank you." Katara stumbled over her words, looking away from him, though he still held her face in his hand.
His smile remained. Taking his hand away from her chin, he wiped away the tears from her cheeks with his thumb.
"Do you remember the last time you thanked me?" he smirked.
Sniffing, Katara pushed him gently in the chest, smirking back. The sadness that had made her heart so heavy was slowly lifting and drifting away, like a leaf caught in the breeze.
They both looked at each other. Katara's heart seemed to have reinflated itself and was beating faster and faster to make up for the lost time.
Or maybe it's just because of those eyes...those amazing eyes...
"You know, Zuko, you really aren't as big of a Jerk Bender as I first thought." Katara joked, smiling gently for the first time in what seemed like years. Zuko rolled his eyes, grinning.
"Oh, well thank you. And you didn't turn out to be half the annoying Water Tribe peasant I'd first thought either."
Katara looked up at him. She felt like her eyes were clouding over. He was so strong, so sure.
Everything about him just seemed so right. His smile, that look in his eyes. Even his scar didn't hold the same kind of memories for her anymore.
It was as if the whole world shrunk down to just him and her whenever he looked at her with those eyes.
It was always hard for Katara to concentrate on anything whenever Zuko looked at her like that.
Kiss me. Just kiss me...
"Zuko" she whispered. "I believe you just thanked me."
A small smile appeared on Zuko's lips that showed the canines of his white teeth. Katara couldn't help but think to herself just how handsome he was and her heart seemed to skip a beat.
"I thought you'd never ask." he whispered into her ear.
Pressing Katara's back up softly against the trunk of the tree, Zuko leant into her. Brushing a lock of hair from her eyes, he leant down and kissed her.
Katara's senses seemed to melt away as she wrapped her arms around his neck and drew herself into the kiss.
It was as if everything sank away deep into Zuko's touch.
When you kiss me, Zuko...nothing else matters.
She wrapped herself into his touch, his embrace. Zuko's hand rested on the small of her back, the other tenderly cupping her face. Katara tried to take everything in. Just for tonight. Before everything else could happen.
Before the worries, the heartbreak and the loss that was sure to come.
Katara ran a hand through his hair. It felt soft and the untidy strands that fell around his face tickled at her nose. She felt his skin under her palm, touching both sides of his face, the rugged, rough scar and the smooth untouched skin.
The old Zuko and the new Zuko.
She held him close, gently pulling at the back of his shirt, never wanting to let go. Feeling the warmth of his skin. Giving her hope, filling her with happiness and peace. It was as if Zuko was relighting the fire inside her, that had been dimming for so long.
Zuko's always warm.
For a single moment, everything vanished. There were no worries, no sorrows, no expectations.
Just her, Zuko and their kiss.
A single cloud passed over the moon. A gentle breeze rustled the leaves of the tree's above the temple, sending several orange whispers of paper falling down into the great chasm below, flitting delicately on the wind.
Somewhere in the distance, a bird called to its partner. The laughter around the campfire continued and the echoes of their already lost memories sounded dimmer and dimmer as they sank deep into the crevice below them.
Katara smiled to herself as she kissed him.
It's already beginning. We've started to grow.
Author's Note : Well, there you have it! Now you know why Aang was being so AANGsty (hehe, sorry smartcheer917 – it was too good not to add in).
A little dark, but there were some happy Zutara fuzzies stuffed in there as well.
Now we just have to worry about...dun dun duuuuun – the new mission!
And to anyone wondering about how the chapter ends - NO Katara and Zuko don't have sex. This was really their first passionate, steamy kiss, but for cryin' out loud people - Katara's only 14! Zuko's just going to have to take a few cold showers until she's old enough. P