It had been a while since Kendall had been staying over at the house and Logan loved every moment of it; just absorbing every part of Kendall was intoxicating for him. Each day, at around eight-thirty, the tall blonde would come over and spend his night with Logan. Sometimes they'd do homework and sometimes they'd just watch TV together, but no matter what, it made Logan feel incredible. Like he was the best thing in the whole wide world and Kendall wanted him to know that.
And each day he'd bring him gifts; one day it was a bag of Hershey Kisses and one day it would be a stuffed animal, but no matter what, it was his newest prized possession. And after buying Jennifer the newest Adele CD that the news was always talking about, he'd started to win her over a little. Jason, not so much, but Logan had faith he'd change his opinion too, yet today was different. Because today, Kendall was late.
"I'm so sorry Kisses," Kendall said, racing in the door after Logan had gotten it, "I had some problems at home, but I did get you this." Kendall pulled a plastic covered rectangle and instantly, Logan's whole face brightened up; he knew exactly what it was. And he was so excited. Logan grabbed the camera from Kendall's hands and unwrapped it as fast as he could to see it. He had always had a mild interest in photography, but no one would ever get him a camera to experiment with and this one was as good as any. The blonde looked amused when Logan turned the black knob and took a picture of Kendall on the couch. He didn't exactly understand why, but he didn't mind it either. He'd found a new hobby.
"Kendall," Logan said, climbing on the couch next to his boyfriend, "thank you so much; it's great."
"Yeah, I guessed that by your reaction, but why do you like it so much; it's a cheap, disposable camera," Kendall responded, kissing Logan behind the ear.
"I know, but I love pictures; it's like being able to keep little memories forever."
"Well, how about next time I come, I bring you a new camera so you can take as many pictures as you want."
"Okay!" Logan shouted excitedly, "I'm going to start now," and Logan sped off up the stairs as the click of used film filled the air immediately.
Kendall thought it was so cute how Logan was reacting to all this, but when he heard a knock on the door, he instinctively unlocked it to find something he desperately didn't want to see.
"What the hell?" Jo shouted in his face while pushing her way into the house, "Why would you buy a camera and bring it here of all places and what is this, complex, supposed to be exactly."
"Um, one of the patients likes to take pictures and I decided to help him out," Kendall replied coolly, "is that a problem Jo; are you actually jealous of mental patients." Then the flit of footsteps came down the stairs and the familiar chocolate eyes appeared before them, brandishing the camera.
"Cheese!" Logan shouted smiling to Kendall and Jo right before snapping the next picture.
"What the hell is he doing here," Jo said after seeing the crazy boy from camp, "have you been coming down here for him?"
"Jo, can we not talk about this right now," Kendall responded, seeing the distressed look on the brunette's soft face.
"No, we are going to do this now and the fairy next to us is going to explain why you have been spending all your time with him and not me," she commanded to the smaller boy who was cowering. "Did you not hear me psychosis; I said why has he been spending his time with you. He doesn't love you, he can never love you so if that's what he told you, then he lied to you. I command it, tell me now." She stammered, anger sliding through her voice like venom. "Are you deaf," she shouted even louder, the brunette with clouds in his eyes,
"No," Logan responded with his teeth buried into his bottom lip, "I hear you loud-and-clear."
"Then respond faggot," she screamed back, throwing her blonde curls side to side in frustration.
"I don't know exactly what to say," the brunette responded, still not able to look up at her.
"Stop this shit Jo," Kendall interjected, stepping up between the person he lo-liked, and her, "let's do this when it's just me and you; he has nothing to do with this." He gestured to a fearful Logan who was now sitting on the arm of the couch.
"Fuck off Kendall," she stated, staring daggers at the boy sitting in front of her, "he's the home-wrecker, he'll explain the damage. Thoroughly."
"I just don't know what to say," Logan whimpered, wrapping his arms around himself like he always did when he got scared. Kendall recognized that immediately while panic started to quickly set in.
"You don't know what to say," she spat out at him, "say that he's not here for you and he's never coming back."
"Then I'd be lying," Logan responded, still staring away, "And we're not allowed to lie."
"Oh, so schitzo can't lie anymore," Jo said, throwing her hands in the air, "when did loony homos like you start getting protection like this? You're worthless, hear me, absolutely worthless."
"Were you not listening Jo," Kendall shouted back at her, all the while Logan just stared at the floor, "Leave him the fuck alone. Picking on a menally ill person; that's what's worthless."
"If that's the best you could come up with to protect your little whore over here then you must not love him like I thought."
"He's never said he loves me," Logan shot back quickly before falling back into his chance.
"Oh, so I see he's playing both of us, who else are you playing on the side," she said cackling, "I guessed something like him just wouldn't do for you. If I wasn't woman enough though, why the hell would he be."
"Well, you're barely a woman in the first place," Logan interjected again, slightly out of character for him; Jo turned gave him a look that would scare a veteran.
"Oh, so now you can speak fag boy. So answer me."
"What's there to say; what do you want me to spit out for you."
"Fucking tell me why he's here with you. What, have you been fucking him to keep him from not leaving you, because there is no reason anyone would ever want to be around a piece of trash like you. Especially when the only useful thing you could do is die." She pushed the brunette to the ground from where he was sitting on the arm of the couch for some kind of response, and a response she got. The smaller boy looked up with a different expression.
"Tell him, tell the fag the truth" a gruff voice spat in the air before Logan threw his hands over his mouth and came back to reality. His eyes grew wide when Jo started to cautiously back up and go towards Kendall.
"What the hell have you done," Kendall growled when he saw Logan start to act-out, holding his hands over his mouth while different sounds exited his throat.
"I'm so, I'm so sorry," the brunette started to say when different words went into the air, "For once in your life, be a man; don't apologize to her, hurt her." "No Logan, just stay where you are and let someone call the doctor. Don't move." "Stop babying him, he'll be an adult soon and he can't be a pussy in the real world. It's your fault we're in this mess." "What mess, falling in love," "No, falling in love with another boy. I sure as hell didn't approve of it." Logan was on the ground in a ball with tears rolling down his now dormant eyes. Jennifer rushed down the stairs when she heard Logan talking to himself and she started screaming.
"What happened," she said, running up to Kendall and hitting him lightly on the chest, "Why is he on the floor harassing himself. What the hell did you do to him?"
Jo didn't move or speak, rather just staring at the boy on the floor in the utmost level of disgust possible.
"Out," screamed Jennifer into the female blonde's face, "get out of this house now. And you," she was pointing to Kendall this time, "Go get a nurse now. NOW!" Immediately, Kendall raced out of the door and started sprinting down the block to the final building. He knocked on the door furiously when the head nurse swung the door open with a scowl on her face.
"What is it," she said angry, "It's ten o'clock on a Friday night; this better be good."
"Someone had a relapse in the schizophrenic house, they're on the floor talking to themselves and, and writhing and crying. I don't know what to do" Kendall pleaded, tears flooding his eyes, "Please, I can't lose him, we need you now." The nurse threw a coat on quickly and started her car up before racing to the house were Logan was. Kendall thought that she was wasting time by taking the car, but he didn't think about it for more than a second. He needed to see Logan again. He needed to protect Logan from Logan. It was the only thing he could do. The nurse came in behind him to find Jennifer holding Logan's arms and body down and his head in her lap while he spat insults ever which way he could.
"Get off of me you no good shit," he shouted, crying and apologizing as soon as it came out, "Let. Me. Go." The nurse grabbed a needle out of her pocket and came up to the sobbing boy slowly, not wanting to startle him. Slowly, having Jennifer hold his arms in place, she inserted the needle deep into a bruised spot on his arm and his big, brown eyes fluttered to a close. Kendall watched in horror as Logan went out for the night and the nurse called 911 who immediately got what had happened.
"Look," she said, turning back to Kendall while treating bruises on Logan's body were he'd hurt himself, "You need to go with him in the ambulance; preferably I'd have Jennifer go, but I think it'd be dangerous to send her out right now. Take care of him okay, because he's one of our most exceptional cases. We've never had a patient get so far along in such short time and I don't want to see that get all undone." In an instant later, an EMS truck showed and loaded him onto a stretcher while Kendall climbed aboard, wiping tears away as fast as he could.
Logan woke up in an all too familiar setting with the white hospital bed and the children's show on the television, but this time, only one hand was cuffed to the bed. The other was free. But, were was Kendall; he had remembered him being there during the incident. Logan's head started to hurt when the voices tried to surface, but then he saw the flurry of blonde hair come into his vision.
''You okay Kisses," Kendall started, looking down at him, "you've had me worried all night."
"Me too," Ms. Hall interjected, "You scared the crap out of both of us."
"What happened last night," Logan said, having barely glimpses of all that went down. All that came to mind was the camera and flowing blonde hair.
"Logan," Ms. Hall started, "From the report we got from Jennifer and Kendall's testimony to the events, apparently Mr. Knight's girlfriend verbally harassed you until the voices came back to defend you. Kendall went and got a nurse while Jennifer held you down so you wouldn't try to injure yourself again. As soon as the nurse tranquilized you, they used the liquid form of your medicine and then got an extra dosage ready for you that's sitting on that table over there." Logan watched as the blonde rolled the table up to the bed. "Honestly, the extra dosages will cause you to feel drowsy more often, but it will also cage the voices. Your doctor said that you'll be back to normal soon enough, but for now, just rest."Logan quickly downed the water and the pill when Ms. Hall left the room again.
"I'm so sorry Kisses," Kendall started, "I'm just so sorry about all of this and you don't deserve all the shit I'm throwing at you and I just feel so guilty." Logan's eyes fluttered to a close as the gift of sleep started to drift over him, but he heard Kendall say one last thing. "I guess I feel so guilty because I think I might, well maybe, no, it's for sure because I think I might be in lo….." and then it all went to blackness.
Logan woke up to Kendall's face just a few feet away from his, feeling his dry throat gasp for air after extensive screaming.
"You okay Coco," said the blonde with a new nickname, "You were having one of those nightmares again."
"Yeah, I always do," Logan replied after examining Kendall in the chair next to his bed silently for a while.
"What is it?" the blonde interjected, slightly startling Logan in the bed, "Are you okay."
"Yeah, but-,"
"But what Kisses, I'll give you anything you want."
"But maybe it would help if you'd lay down with me for a little while; please."
"Logie, it's only three in the afternoon."
"Please!" Logan begged and Kendall gave up and got into the bed with brunette who was already falling back to sleep.
Kendall couldn't exactly sleep, but he didn't mind lying next to Logan because the things he was feeling before were rapidly increasing. He had never thought about really feeling real, real things for the petite teen, but right now, he was. He knew he'd been avoiding using love, but that wasn't because of his feeling. Well, it was, but he just wasn't ready to admit that to himself yet. He was thinking about all of their happy moments in the short time they'd been together and all the times the brunette had tried to say, 'I love you,' before chickening out and saying something completely different all together. And for the first time in a long time, Kendall could say he actually loved something back.
He loved Logan Mitchell. He loved Logan more than anything he ever loved before, but how was he ever supposed to admit it. Because by admitting it, it meant that he couldn't hide behind shrouds of 'confusion,' and 'maybe I'm just bi.' Kendall kinda knew a few bi people and he knew this much, he had no feelings when he was with Jo or any of the other girls in his life.
The only feelings he felt were with Logan and he knew what that meant. It meant that Kendall Knight, Preachers son and Red-blooded American, was gay. HE was GAY, GAY, GAY, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. And he didn't choose to be gay or choose to sin, because in the core of his stomach, he realized that he was born that way. That who you like isn't like what you choose as an ice cream flavor. That the gender you liked could be chosen just as much as your face could at birth. You have no decision in that process. So he was happy to have realized that with Logan by his side, but he was less than thrilled to have to tell anyone. But this just wasn't a secret that could go on forever and Kendall wanted to get the announcement out as fast as he could. And so he developed a plan that would out himself in the best way possible without ever having to say one word to anybody.
Kendall quickly pulled the phone out of his pocket and took a picture of himself and Logan in the bed before starting the text to Jo that would get out everywhere. When Jo was angry, she'd hurt herself in the process of trying to get revenge. And to her, probably the ultimate revenge would be outing Kendall to the world. Kendall, the son of the Pastor; how embarrassing for the family. He could already hear the church people's condolences to the Preacher who had lost his son to 'the gay agenda.' Ha! What was the gay agenda anyway; assless chaps and perfectly styled and colored hair. Real scary. It was funny how people could justify their bigotry sometimes, but Kendall came back to reality to finish the text. He could day dream about the response to his coming out later, but he'd actually have to do it first.
"Happy Ms. Taylor, this is what you've done to my boyfriend. Thanks. From you gay ex, Kendall."
He pressed send while laughing a little; Jo was going to actually do a favor for him and Logan. Then Logan's eyes fluttered back open to Kendall lying next to him.
"Kendall," Logan asked while whipping sleep from his eyes, "How long have I been asleep."
"Long enough to be the cutest thing alive in this world," Kendall said back, drawing the brunette closer to him and shutting his eyes to copy the beautiful person next to him. He was actually tired anyway, now. And so as soon as he put his head on the pillow, they both fell asleep in the tiny bed, smiles on their faces.
"Hey sugar, I know you like taking picture a lot for some reason right now," the blonde started, getting Logan's attention immediately. "And I wanted to know if you wanted me to buy a camera from here for you to document all this."
"You'd do that for me Kendall," Logan replied giddily, "you'd get me a second camera to keep my memories."
"I'd do anything for you Kisses, as long as I got to see you smile," the petite teen blushed before biting into his bottom lip and smiling back at the blonde next to him. At the moment, Logan knew exactly two things.
That he was in Love with Kendall Knight.
That Kendall Knight was in love with him.
Author's Note: So, how was it; I rewrote this same chapter like four times until I finally got it how I liked, so if it's super jumpy, it's because it's pieces of other versions with fill in it. Still, so far it's my favorite because I love when I finally get to bring the love word into these relationships. It's a great feeling to have, but I have a total tendency to jump-the-gun with it. Sorry if things just got interesting and then immediately got resolved, but it's foreshadowing. Almost everything so far has been on purpose. And I'm super sorry if I ever offend any of you guys (I'm a very opinionated bitch), so I really hope you can forgive me. Keep up your super awesome incredibleness and tell me what you thought. I know I say it a lot, but I crave reviews. They're like word crack if that makes sense. If it doesn't, doesn't make me love you less. Keep being you. Always. Luv ya. XoXo