Disclaimer: the Sookie Stackhouse Series is the creation of Charlaine Harris. Don't sue me Charlaine! I love your books.

II.

Fangtasia was loud and crowded as always. Pam took my hand, pulling me carefully through the crowds, toward the table that is always reserved for Eric. I tried to shut out all the music and the voices around me. I felt so nervous inside but then suddenly felt a distant warmth and… happiness. I was so unsettled by the contrast. This bond just never ceased to confound me. But I could clearly feel that this warmth was coming from Eric, after having days and weeks of my own… what, gray haze? It felt muted, distant, however.

Eric was sitting at his table with a bottle of True Blood, and was texting on a brand new bright red Blackberry. He glanced up as I approached and then motioned to Pam to leave. He pointed at the chair immediately next to him.

As I sat down, Felicia personally delivered a gin and tonic to me, along with a cautious, "Hi Sookie. Happy New Year." Felicia, who appears to think that she's only survived working as a Fangtasia bartender on my whim, looked at me to see if I thought the drink was okay. I made the effort to smile up at her.

"Thanks Felicia. Happy New Year to you, too."

Eric gestured that she should depart and she scurried away. He put down his phone and looked at me. He looked smashing, dressed in black leather pants, red silk shirt and the obligatory Viking belt. He just stared at me with those intense blue eyes. I blushed and glanced down.

"So, Lover?"

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. With a quick breath, I said "Eric, I'm so sorry about your messages. Sam told me you called and I know I didn't call back. I guess I… I haven't had my cell phone on for days, and Amelia took your messages but I didn't realize they were from you because I've been working every day and just got distracted and didn't even look to see who had called and…."

Eric cut me off at that point with a quick gesture that said "enough!" and just sat there looking at me intently. I felt like I was under a microscope. He started to speak and then stopped. Finally he said,

"Well, you're here now."

I raised my eyes to meet his. He looked… Gentle? Puzzled? Concerned? Was Eric concerned? I tried to wrap my head around that one, but felt like I was looking at him through a fog.

"Have your drink before Felicia starts to worry you don't like it and will be responsible for her doom" he said, smirking. Pam had once playfully told Felicia that I was responsible for the deaths of the three previous bartenders at Fangtasia and that she had better stay on Sookie Stackhouse's good side. That Pam….

Sure enough, I glanced over at the bar and saw Felicia, though busy mixing drinks, was glancing over in my direction with a clear eye on my glass. I sipped a bit and tried to find some sort of inner calm. Eric toyed with his phone but said nothing.

I looked up at Eric again. His blue eyes still looked at me intently, questioning.

"So, Eric, why was it necessary to have Pam drag me here after a long day's work? Do you have a job for me, or…" I trailed off.

Eric looked away, pursing his lips a bit and then said… "Sookie, I've been trying to arrange to talk to you for the better part of a week. I guess I just got to the point where I thought it was better for you to come here to be sure we could actually speak."

I was puzzled. "What do you mean by that?" I said, feeling apprehensive but slightly annoyed.

He put down his phone and looked me directly in the eyes. "Well, you wouldn't return my phone calls, so I had no reason to believe that you'd let me into your house. It seemed best to bring you to me."

I felt like snapping back that his invitation to my home had not been rescinded in some time, but thought better of it. I was already in the wrong with the business of not returning the calls, and there was no reason to provoke an argument over "being brought" to him. These vampires. I felt like property at times. My emotions were oscillating between being angry and trying to be pleasant.

Eric paused as if somehow absorbing or processing something. "I'm sorry if you're annoyed, but we really need to talk. I've been feeling…" he paused for a moment and looked at me sharply.

I had begun to feel immensely anxious, and my breathing shifted. Eric had mentioned weeks before, immediately after he had regained his memories of when he had stayed with me a year ago, that he wanted to have a "talk", come to "an understanding". I suddenly felt trapped, like I wanted to run, as if I couldn't possibly consider speaking of that time, or of my feelings, or about any "understanding". I felt… panicked.

Eric suddenly reached out and grabbed my hand. I jumped, and he glanced at me, with a very troubled look on his face.

"Sookie, what is going on with you? Why are you afraid?" He looked at me, probingly, as if he wanted to see deep inside me. I pulled my hand away.

"I don't want to talk. And certainly not in a bar. I've been in a bar every day for the past two weeks and I've had my fill, thank you." I glanced away from him, and even turned away, looking out at the crowd.

Eric replied, "Yes, Sam told me that you had been working a lot. Extra shifts. Why?"

I tried to collect my thoughts. I had already asked Eric more than once about the money that Sophie-Anne owed me for my work in Rhodes. I was unpaid and had lost a fair amount of my professional wardrobe and a number of personal items in the bombing of the hotel by the Fellowship of the Sun. On top of that, I had missed work time from Merlotte's and was far from where I wanted to be financially in terms of paying my taxes, insurance and other bills. Damned if I was going to ask again about my money, however.

"I've just been keeping busy," I said quickly, relieved that the subject had veered away from any "talk".

Eric was silent for a moment, as if considering things. He spoke quietly, "I have told Felipe that Sophie-Anne still owed you money for Rhodes. I think he'll pay the debt, especially considering the service you rendered him. In the meantime, if you're worried, I'll pay you and he can reimburse me."

"No! Absolutely not!" I said, more loudly than I had intended. Quietly I said "I'm not taking anything from you. If Felipe, pays good. If not, I'll be fine. You're not covering Sophie-Anne's problem for me. No way."

Eric nodded slightly. He knew I was proud when it came to financial issues. "However you wish, Lover, but it doesn't seem worth it if you are getting so stressed. I'm certain that Felipe will forward the funds. I don't want you to be worried about it. But that's not why I asked you here…"

Feelings of anxiety fought their way back to the forefront. Eric stood up abruptly and took my hand, drawing me to my feet. He turned and pulled me seemingly in the direction of his office. As we drew closer to the back of the bar, my feet felt heavier and I had a feeling of dread. I had missed Eric so much in the previous weeks and months. Our entire relationship had fallen into shambles at various points over the preceding year. Then between Rhodes and the Nevada takeover, our lives had been like a roller coaster. My heart had been all but broken about a year ago and I had not really healed. I had, however, tried steadfastly to move beyond it. And now we were going to talk about it? I felt like I had to get away. Literally.

"Eric?" I sounded uncertain. It was so loud in the club. "Eric!" Still pulling me forward, closer to the office. "ERIC!" He turned, and stood looking down into my eyes. He stroked a strand of my hair away from my face, with his hands on either side of my face. He bent his head lower and kissed me firmly. Part of me just wanted to melt, but the other part, the panicked part, seemed to explode.

I pulled away, much to Eric's surprise and said "I just can't do this right now."