Author's Note: *IMPORTANT* still in Kendall POV.
Jo walked into the clinic slowly that night, having flirted with the male nurse there enough to get in, but it wasn't as easy as she thought it would be.
"Hey good looking," she said to the man at the desk who was sorting papers quickly, "how's it going?"
"Don't you think you're being a little forward with that," the boy said, obviously young with darker skin than her own and a short hair cut, "I don't think we've met before."
"We don't have to have met for me to think you're hot," she responded, twirling her hair to try to get him to let her in without giving a name; she was probably one some kind of record after the boys previous relapse.
"You're really barking up the wrong tree right now," he responded, eyes still glued to his work and not her.
"Look," she said, reaching over the desk to read his name tag, "Carlos, Garcia, I don't care whose tree I'm barking up, I just want to go in there."
"That's all you had to say," the nurse, Carlos, said back, walking over to the door and opening it for her; she was stunned, she could just walk in?
"Wait, you don't need to know my name or who I am," she asked, putting her hands in the air.
"Look, it's late and I'm not in the mood to go into a lot of trouble," the Latino boy said while shutting the heavy door back quickly, "I'm a night intern nurse; I'm just trying to study, so if you don't mind, try not to kill anyone and leave me alone. I really don't want to be bothered right now."
Jo was still shocked, though she stopped questioning her fortune; she thought she'd seen enough hospital dramas to know that the hospital closes at like, eight and she was there at nine. Why had they let her in so freely? What if she was a psychopath? She didn't care though, because she desperately needed closure to ensure herself that the brunette wasn't dead. That she wasn't a killer and finally, she found the room that read 'Mitchell' on the door in bold black letters.
Opening it slowly, she was greeted by the boy she'd hated sitting in a rocking chair quietly, staring at the ground with glazed over eyes. "Hi," she said slowly, still slightly repulsed by his presence, but being careful not to set him off.
"Thank God you're here," the boy said back with a devious grin, "I've needed someone to finish me off for a while now and the last time I tried, they threatened me with the straight jacket." She stared in horror; this was not the boy's voice at all.
"What happened to you?" she said with a look of horror across her face.
"We succeeded," Logan responded laughing, "We killed the fag together; we got rid of his stupid ass finally and damn did it take long."
"I didn't do anything, this isn't my fault," she pleaded, not entirely convinced herself of her own argument.
"Yeah, and we aren't in a mental ward right now," the boy said back chuckling, "Face it honey, you're more at fault than I am. You and that preacher man are the reason he's dead now and you know it."
"You aren't dead," she responded, looking away, "you are right here in front of me; you're Logan Mitchell, the boy who ruined my life." There was a lot of venom in the last part of her sentence, but the brunette seemed to enjoy it that much more.
"Ooh," the brunette moaned out with his eyes closed, "I love it when people like you can justify their murders with the most ridiculous solutions. Did he ruin your life. That's not really a reason to kill them though is it. Let me guess, god told you too. No, nah, that's been used, what, he was going to kill you first. That would make sense, but that would also mean you're just as crazy as me. So no, what, you killed him because you were trying to help someone else. Wait; don't tell me it's a mixture of the three." He was laughing when Jo winced in pain at the realization that most of what he said was true, she was a killer for the most ridiculous reasons. When he read that off of her, he let out a loud hoot before finishing with, "Hah, it is isn't it. You killed him for those stupid ass reasons." He laughed even harder when he saw her wipe away a tear.
"I'm innocent, I didn't kill one damn person; you're sitting right here in front of me," she stated, desperately trying to defend herself from her own judgment.
"You are truly an actress," Logan spat back, "If you think you didn't kill him, then you must be putting on a show, because I haven't seen acting like that in a while."
"You hurt yourself, I had no part in this," she said with her nose in the air to not be able to see the boy in front of her, "All I did was tell you my feelings about it all, if you took it wrong that's your fault." Getting that out made her feel better.
"Don't talk to me like I'm him" the boy retorted, obviously angered at the girl's confusion, "He's dead, I drowned him myself as soon as you two pushed him in; if anything, you killed him with me." He smiled back at her before she started to tear up harder than before, her cheeks already dampening.
She started to rush for the door, desperately trying to escape the hell she had inserted herself into, "I didn't hurt him, you did, you're the killer not me!" She ran out as fast as she could, past the Nurse and out the door because she realized something very painful while talking to the crazy boy.
He was dead; she had been talking to a ghost, the shell of a beautiful creature that she had destroyed. And something hit her that scared her the most. There was only one repayment for what she had done. Blood for Blood. An eye for an eye. That's what the bible said and she still entirely believed in it.
How could she not, it had gotten her through so much else, but as she pondered it; had it really? As she drove home in her tiny car, she really looked back on her life with clear eyes. Her mother and father had had a bad divorce after her mother was caught with another man. Her dad had told her every day since then that the perfect woman was one that would 'shut up and cook.' And she'd always believed him and so after meeting Kendall, she had decided that she would do that for him. . Jo could shut up and do whatever he said as long as she was a part of his life.
Her father had always told her that that was the Christian way of things; the bible said so, it said to listen to your husband no matter what he said. It said that gay people needed to die. It said that divorce was wrong. But it also said that you could sell your daughter if she wasn't what you wanted. It said you could sleep with your children if you were worried about your bloodline. It said you could take multiple wives if one just wasn't doing it for you. It said a lot of things.
And she'd given away her life for that; a dusty old book and a drunk, lonely man she called her father. She had given away a promising life for some boy that she barely even knew out of fear of loneliness like her father. And look at the monster it had created. She was hateful and conniving, the very thing she feared the most.
And in all of the monster movies, the creature always paid for his crimes in the end. Was someone going to make her pay for her crimes? And so she made a decision that would change her life. Raiding her father's extensive pill cabinet, she knocked all of it into her purse and sat on her bed. No one would make her pay, but herself. And then she downed the first of the many bottles of pills she had collected. Her only judge would be herself.
Kendall was sitting in the cheap motel across the street from the hospital, trying to muster up the strength to do something, anything. So far, he hadn't been found, but that didn't mean he wasn't being looked for. And the voices in his head were screaming at him to do a hundred different things right now.
"You fucked up big time Kendall, why didn't you just kill her when you had the chance. I told you too; we had the perfect opportunity and now we're being hunted."
"No, No, No, you did the right thing by not hurting her; think of the consequences if you had actually done it. You'd be rotting in jail by now and surely you would have ended up in a padded cell in the end."
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Kendall said, agreeing with the reasonable voice.
"See, even you agree with me, it's just too risky; we'll go by the hospital tomorrow and see if Logan is okay. Maybe he's better. Maybe he'll recognize you again. Maybe, maybe he-,"
"For once, would you be quiet; look Kendall, we need to go find him, we have to find a way."
"You are not allowed to make plans, you always are so rash about everything and we need time for reason. Obviously that's not a strong hold on your part."
"Dear god, you're doing it again, you're being a giant bitch and trying to manage us again; look, haven't you fucked us all up enough."
"Don't speak to me like I'm bellow you when obviously, I'm the superior one of the two of us."
"Three of us"
"Fine, but as the voice of reason, I must advise against Kendall listening to you; you're ridiculous."
"Fuck off, we have to go, we have to get away from here and find Logan, it's vital."
"Please don't listen to him Kendall, you know better than that."
"Fuck that other twit, let's go right now. Now!"
"No, no, no, no."
"Why the hell no"
"Because I said so, that's not enough reason why?"
"Shut up, all of you, shut your damn mouths," Kendall yelled at the top of his lungs and immediately, the voices were silenced. He guessed he had more control over them than he'd previously believed; he had a lot more than Logan ever did.
How could his plan end up like this; he was simply supposed to run away with Logan, nothing more. And now, because of him, there was no Logan. He went over and turned the TV on, not wanting silence when he saw what was on the screen. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory; and what scene were they on, none other than the chocolate river. And who's beautiful, stunning eyes reminded him of seas of chocolate, but his Kisses.
His Kisses that he'd sworn to protect till the very end of time.
His kisses that he'd hold close at night and sing too when he was asleep because he was so blissful that he'd be so lucky to have someone like him.
His Kisses who'd blush and swoon every time he was around and charmed him.
His Kisses who he loved more than his own life.
And then Kendall understood the only thing left to do anymore. In a world where his Kisses no longer existed, he had no reason to either. Then the memory of the knife in his pocket came back to him. And his voices immediately piped in.
"Wait Kendall, don't do this, let's be reasonable,"
"That's it, that's our path to Logan,"
"What path, you think that death will get him to his boyfriend; you're sadly mistaken."
"Ah, don't listen to that bitch Kendall; you have the chance to do something big right now."
"He's right, killing yourself would be big, and irresponsible, and ridiculous, and selfish. Pretty big."
"Look, listen to me Kendall, here's the plan, here's how to get back to Logan,"
"Oh dear god, not one of your ideas, didn't I silence you about this earlier," Kendall found the voices arguing quite amusing in a bizarre way.
"Look, call the emergency people right now, and tell them this, 'I think I'm losing my mind, I think I might kill myself,' okay."
"What else are you going to suggest, he actually do it."
"Actually yes, Kendall, do it, do it and we can end up in the ward with Logan, it'd get us in and that's what we wanted wasn't it."
"That's insane."
"We're insane dumb ass; do it Kendall and we can find him again, we can be happy."
Kendall glared into the mirror across the room before stating simply, "I will be happy. Not you two, never you two. He's mine and I'll kill either of you if you try to steal him from me." There was silence from the other two voices. "Okay, let's do this." Quickly, he grabbed his cell phone and dialed 9-1-1 quickly and he heard the familiarity of an annoyed emergency operator.
"Nine One One, what's your emergency," the obviously ticked off woman on the other line said to Kendall.
"Um, my name is Kendall Knight," Kendall knew it was imperative that he put on a good show so she wouldn't think this was a trick, so he conjured up his voice and forced it against its will to threaten him, "I swear to god, I'll kill you right now fucker. You'll die if you don't get off that phone." The blonde was doing his best to have the voice imitate what Logan's would do so often.
"Is there someone else in there with you? Are you alright?" the woman side, obviously concerned after what she had heard on the other end.
"No, no, no one else, just please, help me," he pleaded, the thought of seeing his Coco exciting him more and more, "I think I'm losing my mind."
"What? Are you still there?"
"Please, send someone immediately; I'm going to try to hurt myself soon if someone doesn't show up." Quickly, he hung up while hearing the woman panic on the other end, but it didn't matter. He was taking a big chance and so, he got up and unlocked the door before sitting back down on the bed and drawing the knife out again. Slowly, he started to cut against his wrists lightly, having no intention of killing himself, but making it appear that way. The smell of blood made him nauseous, but he was determined to finish. Too late though, because it all got to him and he passed out on the bed, never finishing the final cut.
Author's Note: Two suicide attempts, only one will end successfully so stay for the final chapter which is next and guess who's coming back full time. Logie. Don't leave me yet, it's not over till the fat lady sings; Susan Boyle shut your lips. Because you know how much I Love big surprise endings and this has been absolutely no surprise at all. XoXo. Luv ya.