Chapter Twelve: Revelations
1084 days ABG
"Master...his body needs to rest. There's nothing you can do for him right now." At some point Honi had re-entered the room and her voice was quiet as she placed a hand on Kali's shoulder.
I could stay by his side for the rest of my life. But Kalinda nodded and rose, giving Stonewall'd unconscious form one last look before stepping over to Crest and studying the other man. His normal, jovial expression was restful, and she could sense that his body was still healing. She glanced at Honi. "I can never thank you enough for taking such good care of them."
The red-haired woman shook her head. "Master – Kalinda – that's what I do. You know that. Besides..." Her cheeks turned pink and she cleared her throat. "You said that you...care for him."
"I love him, Honi."
"Right." She sighed and smoothed out her hair, shaking her head in disbelief. "Love." Honi glanced from Kalinda to Stonewall and sighed again as her thoughts drifted back to a certain bearded Jedi.
Kalinda resisted the urge to roll her eyes; instead she turned for the door. "I'm going to speak with Master Altis. In the meantime, you should talk to your Padawan...she's still your responsibility, you know, and she needs you. She's losing her way. Besides, a student's place is with her teacher."
"I know," Honi replied, her eyebrows knitting. "It's just..." She sighed and her shoulders slumped. "I thought it would be different, Kalinda. I thought that it would be like you and I were."
"We're closer in age than you and Zara," Kali replied. "And when we joined forces you were much closer to Knighthood than she is." She gave the other woman a wry smile. "You have all the tact of a battering ram, Honi, but you're a fine Jedi. I know that you'll be a good teacher, too, but you have to work at it. Nothing worth having comes easily...and while I may have made it look otherwise, training you wasn't without difficulty."
Expression thoughtful, Honi exhaled and nodded. A few minutes later the two women slipped out of the room and parted ways, and Kali found Upala again, who gave her Altis' probable location: the library.
I don't think I've ever seen a library on a starship before, Kali thought as she approached the massive room. Situated towards the front of the Chu'unthor, the space reminded her of the Archives at the Jedi Temple only in the sense that they both held a vast collection of information. Like the rest of the Chu'unthor, the library on the praxeum ship seemed to be a collaboration of various pieces of furniture – from worn but plush couches to sleek desks and chairs – with workstations scattered between the rows of shelves that contained datapads and flimsies alike. There were long windows that arced around the sides, allowing patrons to get an almost panoramic view of the space beyond, and in the distance all she could see were stars.
For a few minutes she simply stood at the entrance, taking it all in and wondering how he'd managed to collect such a wealth of information. A quiet male voice gently shook her from her reverie as the Jedi Master rose from a nearby desk to greet her. "Kalinda. How are you feeling?" He looked the same as before, though his eyes were a little more shadowed than she remembered.
"Much better now, Master, thank you." Kali gave him a bow and gestured to the expansive room. "This is incredible...I've never seen anything like it."
He chuckled and indicated that they should walk; moments later he was guiding her through the shelves. "It's adequate, if not as comprehensive as it could be." They stopped before one of the windows and stood for a moment. The realization came to her that he was waiting for her to speak.
Kali inhaled, unsure of where to begin. Finally she gave him a sideways look. "Thank you for everything, Master. I'm not sure I can ever really express how grateful I am for your help...I don't think that the others would be alive if it weren't for your crew's assistance."
"The Infinity had to respond to an emergency in another system," he replied with a nod of acknowledgment of her gratitude. "But they called us. It wasn't luck that we were nearby, Kalinda."
She shook her head. "Luck or not, I'm grateful."
"How are the others?" Something in his tone suggested that he already knew the answer but wanted to hear her perspective.
"Zara's a little shaken, but healthy. The boys are the same, though I think they're going to eat every bit of food they can find." They shared a smile before her face fell. "The boy that Creon managed to get his hands on – Levy – well, I don't know what's going to happen with him." She hugged her arms to her sides and felt weariness drag at her body again.
"Kalinda, no one ever knows what the future will bring. The important thing is that he's among those who have his best interests at heart." Altis put a hand on her arm and indicated that they should take a seat on a nearby couch. It was good to sink into the thick cushions for a moment, and she took a few deep breaths to steady herself. When he spoke again, his voice was still kind. "And your men?"
This made Kali's hands tighten. "They're out of danger, but are still healing. Their armor only protected them to a certain degree...but Honi and Upala both think they'll make full recoveries. Milo's already up and about." She thought of his attention to her former Padawan and sighed inwardly.
Again, he nodded, but when he spoke his voice was hesitant. "Are the rumors about you and your squad true?"
Too tired to make a flippant remark, she only nodded. "They're partly true." She lifted her eyes to his. "Just Stonewall." Since she was unaware of what he knew, and since it didn't really seem like such an important matter in the wake of everything else that had happened, she explained further. "He's become Force-sensitive as well. I don't know how or why...and at this rate, I'm not sure we'll ever find out."
"Has he been trained at all?" Altis didn't seem surprised at the revelation, which gave her pause.
"I've been going over some of the basics: mediation, telekinetics, telepathy – we can speak to one another through the Force – some healing and a bit of lightsaber training. He's getting better every day...I only wish we had more time." In so many more ways than one.
"I see." He looked thoughtful. "What are you going to do now that your people are safe?"
Kali frowned and shook her head. "For now? I don't really know. I told the Council that the others need to rest and recuperate before we head back to the Core, but I'm not sure what will happen once we get there."
"Always in motion, the future is," he replied with a wry look that made her chuckle. "In any case, you and yours are welcome to stay here for as long as you need."
She nodded. "Thank you. Everything's been so hectic lately...I feel like I haven't been able to get a toehold on anything. It's good to stop for a moment and catch my breath." She glanced out the viewport and watched the stars; the Chu'unthor was at rest, drifting through the Metalorn system, but she could still hear the quiet hum of the sub-light engines far to the rear of the ship. What will happen to the boys when we reach Coruscant? Will they be sent back to Kamino? Can they go back to being regular clones? Should they? And what about Levy?
Her head was starting to ache. What have I gotten us into? And how will we all come out of it?
"You have always been welcome here; I can't turn anyone away, it seems. Even those who promise to eat me out of house and home." He gave her a grin which she was able to return despite the weight on her shoulders and the shadow over her heart.
They were silent for a moment before an icy realization began to ball in the pit of her stomach. It was difficult to voice her thought, but she managed. "You were right about the Council. The only reason I was able to find the boys was because Creon Dai took a Jedi Padawan. If not for that, no one ever would have found them."
He looked about as remorseful as she felt. "I wish I had been wrong."
"I know that the war makes things so difficult for the Jedi," she said. "But I can't understand their position on the clones. Those boys...they're just children. It doesn't matter how much training or growth-acceleration the clones have gone through, and it doesn't matter that the majority of the them don't desire anything more...at the end of all things, it's wrong to treat people like they're disposable. Like their lives have no worth." She winced and rubbed her forehead. "Everything about this is wrong."
Altis was silent for a moment. Finally he spoke. "What would you have done in the Council's place, had the choice to use the clones been on your shoulders?" It was the same question that Mace had asked her the last time she was on Coruscant; at the time, Kalinda had not had an answer.
She did, now. "The Separatists use machines to fight their battles...why didn't we? The Republic has so many resources...I don't understand why they didn't take advantage of them. It was easier, I guess, to use the clone army that was ready to go." Her voice had taken on a bitter tone.
"'Ready to go.' I suppose that puts it rather succinctly," Altis replied. "I have not met many clones, you understand, but the ones I did meet – save your men – seemed more than willing to give their lives for the Republic."
Kalinda shook her head. "The only things that makes 'my men' different from the millions of other clones are their experiences. Force knows I've tried to show them that they are more than just the summation of their training. But..."
"But you can't show them all."
"No. As much as I would like to." She looked out the window, at the stars, and thought of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. "I find that lately I'm not so happy to be a Jedi." Not until they left her mouth did she realize that the words were true, and she was gripped with a bitter remorse that was unlike anything she had ever felt.
The Jedi Master only nodded at the words, giving her a sad smile. "You are more than just the summation of your own training, Kalinda. And...there is more than one way to be a Jedi." She had no reply to that, so she simply kept her eyes on the stars. Altis regarded her for a moment more and she felt from him – of all things – uncertainty. When he spoke again, his words were deliberate. "I know that I told you before, Kali, but your father would be very proud to see what you've accomplished."
Jonas. She thought of her father and first master with a mixture of affection and remorse and her hand moved absently to the scar on her left knee. "I'd like to think so, too."
"Did you know that he stayed with me for a time?"
At this she looked at him. "He never mentioned it." Did he ever leave the Temple proper? He was always a model Jedi, despite the fact that he had a child. "When?"
"About a year and a half before you were born." Altis paused – seeming to deliberate about something – then reached into his pocket to pull out a small, leather-bound flimsi which he turned over in his hands as he continued speaking. "This is where he met your mother."
The words hung in the air before Kali frowned. "Master, my mother was a Corellian farmer's daughter who lived on a small colony in the Mid-Rim; his ship crashed there and he was badly injured...he ended up staying with her family for several months. Later, she contacted him and told him that I had been born and I was showing signs of being Force-sensitive. I met her myself when I was thirteen." The memory was clear: a dark-haired woman with eyes like hers and a bright laugh. "Her family was taken with an illness, and he thought that I should see her once before she died."
The Jedi Master nodded to himself and studied the flimsi for a moment. "I know what he told you, Kali, and while I didn't agree with it, I tried to respect his and your mother's wishes."
Kalinda grew very still and her voice sounded small in her ears, especially since she could practically hear the blood rushing through her veins. "What do you mean?"
"She was one of my students, for a time." He offered her the flimsi, which she stared at for a moment before reaching her hand forward to claim. "Kamala was one of those Force-sensitives that was not strong enough to be trained as a Jedi, despite the fact that she had a keen desire to learn. Eventually she found her way to me and spent some time here on the Chu'unthor."
The tone of his voice indicated that there was more, so much more, but Kali was only aware of the fragile book in her hands. The leather may have been a rich black once, but it was faded now, scratched and dented by age. The paper pages were fragile and filled with handwriting that initially looked like a jumble, but she thought that she would be able to decipher it with time. Time. The one thing I don't think I have much of at the moment. "And this was hers? I haven't seen a handwritten journal in...well, ever." She frowned at the book even as she flipped through the pages.
"Kamala had a penchant for antiquities," Altis said with a smile as he watched her fingertips smooth across the pages. "I think it's why she was so fond of me."
Kalinda studied the first page; her mother's hand – if it really was hers – was strong and fluid; she glanced at the date. About a year before I was born. Why would Jonas have lied about her? What possible reason would he have to conceal this from me? She took a breath and met Master Altis' eyes again. "Why are you telling me this now?" If she was truthful, she didn't really want to know the answer; however, the entire conversation was like being lead before a closed door that she knew she had to open, despite the fact that she was terrified of what she'd encounter when she crossed the threshold.
He was quiet for a moment, running his hand through his beard in consideration as he studied the stars beyond them. Finally he looked back at her. "There are two reasons. The first is your captain." At this, Kali sat up and stared at him.
"Stonewall? But..."
"You don't know why he can use the Force, correct?" She nodded and he indicated the journal. "There was a planet in the Outer-Rim that your mother and father studied for a time. According to their accounts, there were...strange energies that permeated the place that influenced the Force itself." He frowned, as if trying to recall some distant memory. "I believe that Mundali might contain some of the answers you seek."
"Mundali. Never heard of it." It felt as if her own voice wasn't working properly. She flipped the book shut and stared at it while he continued speaking.
"I'm not surprised. But the second reason is – in my mind, anyway – the simpler one: because you have a right to know the truth, Kali. Especially now, when you seem to be at a crossroads." He smiled at her and she nodded as her eyes remained fixed on the object in her hands.
It was almost too much to take in and for a long while her brain whirred in agitation. Mundali? Stonewall's use of the Force is linked to some backwater planet in the Outer-Rim? Her hands were trembling even as they clutched the smooth face of the journal. If only I had the time to read this...if only I-
Abruptly, she stood up, tucking the journal in one of her pockets. "Thank you for your help, Master Altis," she said to him. "I...I need to think about...well." She sighed and shook her head. "I have to talk to the others. Right now we must figure out what we're going to do next. I imagine Honi and Zara will want to return to their duties and I need to check on Weave and Levy again."
"My offer stands," he replied, rising alongside her. "You – or any of your crew – are welcome here as long as you like. We have room for everyone." He gave her a smile that she tried to return even as the journal felt heavy at her side.
Another thread of my life that needs to be untangled. Another missing piece of the puzzle. She nodded to him once more and slipped out of the library, her steps silent against the smooth floor.
It was the first time Stonewall had the dream, but it would not be the last.
They are on Japarran, the Outer-Rim world where they'd first kissed, sitting in a copse of fallen jessamin flowers. Kali leans forward to brush a multitude of small, white blossoms from his shoulders, smiling as she does so; she opens her mouth to say something but instead of her voice, all he can hear is a sudden, distant shouting, followed by an ominous rumbling and a faint but unmistakable vibration of the ground. Despite the fact that she doesn't seem to notice, he's reminded of a battle.
Alarm floods him as he looks around. "Kali, don't you hear that?" He tries to stand but his legs won't work for some reason, and he feels a brush of dread at the edge of his mind.
She smiles at him again; there is no fear in her expression and her voice is light. "It's the end of all things, Stone." Her hand lifts to brush more of the flowers off of him even as he hears the distinctive sound of blaster fire and feels the earth trembling, as though thousands of terrible things are approaching.
"We need to leave," he says. His heart is starting to race. "Kali..." Confusion followed by swift fear pierces him as he realizes that he's immobile and helpless in the face of certain danger.
In spite of all this, she's gotten to her feet already and is smiling down at him. "It's okay, Stone. It will be okay. I love you. No matter what happens, I will always love you." The sounds grow closer; he can see blue bolts scorching the trees. White-clad figures breach the jessamin grove, almost blending in with the fallen flowers and when he looks up at Kali, her hair is stippled with the fragile, funereal blossoms.
Panic clutches his heart as seeking shots of blue ring around them. Some part of his mind knows that they are searching for her, but she seems unconcerned. "Kali'ka, you have to leave." Again, he tries to struggle to his feet, thinking that maybe he can place himself between her and the others but his body will not respond to his brain's commands.
Kali's dark eyes meet his and he is gripped with a terror stronger than anything he has ever experienced. "Don't be afraid." Her voice is distant, and when he reaches for her, his hand passes through her skin as if she were a ghost.
As the dream ends, all he can do is watch as she is struck down. Around them, the entire grove begins to burn.
The music of the dulcimer trickled through the small room and reached the boy who was huddled in the corner, watching Weave with wide eyes while the older clone was seated on the floor across from him, his back against the wall. At first he'd played the notes of the song that Milo had uncovered, which had seemed to snap Levy out of whatever trance he'd been in, though he still had not spoken a word. But he'd stopped flailing and seemed calm – as much as anyone could be in his predicament, Weave thought – and he appeared to like the music well enough.
Weave tried not to look like he was watching the clone cadet as he played; instead he studied the curl of his hands around the frets of the small instrument, concentrating on the melody that emanated. However, his implant allowed him to see the small puffs of air that were escaping Levy's mouth with each breath and understand that, though the boy was nervous, he was gradually growing more at ease.
As he kept playing, Weave was struck by the conflicting emotions he could read from Levy's expression; he could tell that the cadet was terrified but also curious, and it hit rather close to home. He looks about how I feel most of the time. Surreptitiously, he studied Levy's arm. If I could get him to hold still, I might be able to remove some of it, or at least get a better understanding of what's happening with him. He cleared his throat, the sound making Levy's gaze meet his.
"How are you feeling, Levy?"
At first the boy was still, then after a long pause he gave a small shrug, though he didn't speak. His gaze never left the instrument in Weave's hand. Odd. Can he talk? I wonder if the nanos did something to his voice. It was an upsetting thought, but as he had no basis for proof, he set that concern to the side for the time being.
So Weave kept playing, almost idly, and spoke again after a moment. "Your brothers miss you. Do you remember them?"
These words made Levy roll his eyes and give Weave a look that said, of course I do, you di'kut.
Grinning, Weave started up a new song, and – after a moment – began to hum along with the melody. Levy watched him and slowly, so slowly it may not have been happening, he began to relax his posture. A few more minutes passed and he inched closer to Weave and the dulcimer, his eyes darting from the strings to Weave's implant.
The music never stopped.
After what felt like hours, Levy was beside him, still transfixed by the dulcimer. At one point he reached his hand out, not to the instrument, but to Weave's face. Levy's eyes were alight with curiosity and Weave resisted the urge to stop playing even as he felt a querying brush against his implant. Levy studied him, then looked down at his own arm with a frown. When Weave spoke, he kept his voice quiet. "I'm just like you, Levy. We're brothers, after all."
The boy's brows knitted but he nodded, then he sat back on his heels and continued to listen.
Since Weave was busy with the clone boy, Milo decided to take it upon himself to fix their comlinks. It wasn't a difficult job, seeing as the Wayfarer had more than enough spare parts to do so, and it kept him occupied while he watched General Tallis and her Padawan in the gymnasium. There was a wide open area in the center of the wing, beneath a massive transparisteel dome that opened up to the stars, and it was beneath this that the Jedi were sparring. General Tallis was a graceful warrior, her form was precise and aggressive, while Commander Zara was clearly still learning the finer points of defense, though she was strong in her own right.
Beside him on the bench, from their place along the wall, Traxis leaned forward, elbows on his knees. "Good move," he said as the Padawan blocked a feint from the red-haired Jedi. "She's not bad, for a kid."
"She's been training about as long as we've been alive," Milo replied as he tweaked the delicate circuitry on the device in his hand. Beyond them, General Tallis managed a fluid leap that brought her over the Nautolan girl's head, her green saber glowing against the backdrop of stars for an instant before she landed. She's about as graceful as anything I've ever seen. He noted how her red hair was already coming loose from the pins that she wore, then gave his head a small shake, looking back at the comlink.
Traxis nodded again as the commander managed a feint of her own. "Nice." He glanced at the clone cadets, all of whom were sitting in a line beside him. "See their feet? They never let their heels touch the ground so they stay light and springy. Helps with agility."
The nearest boy – Finn – nodded, then looked at one of the others. "Feel like sparring, Keo?"
"Sure." The lads stood up and moved to the far corner of the room; Traxis' gaze following their movements.
The two cadets that remained, No-Name and Risky, were engrossed in the Jedi's session and were holding perfectly still while they watched. Milo glanced up again just in time to see General Tallis and the Padawan cross blades once before leaping back from one another; he noted that the Nautolan girl had a smile on her face despite the fact that she was losing. The red-haired Jedi wore a mask of concentration.
Traxis sighed. "You too, huh?"
Milo pretended not to hear him and picked up another comlink. This one might be too far gone. Sethos really did a number on us, didn't it? He sighed and looked at his brother. "You're here as well, you know."
"Like I care about Tallis like that," the scarred clone replied, shaking his head. "I'm not like the rest of you."
"I know, but you don't ever really talk about it, do you?" Milo frowned at the comlink and pried open the backing, just in case he could salvage the power source. Nope. This one's farkled. "So, why are you here?"
At this, Traxis' eyes rested on the clone cadets, who had taken to racing each other from one end of the gymnasium to the other, the pounding of their feet against the rubberized floor echoing in the room. "Someone needs to keep an eye on the adi'ike, with the others lying around in sickbay or tied up with their own business."
"The captain and Crest can't help that they're injured," Milo replied, his gaze lifting to his brother. "They didn't ask to wind up unconscious in the infirmary of a strange ship. And have you seen Kalinda? She's trying to keep everyone safe...it can't be easy, you know? She's in charge of us, and them as well."
Traxis exhaled out of his nose. When he spoke next, it was in Mando'a. "I know. That's not the point...we went through hell to get these kids to safety and now what? What does Kalinda plan on doing with them? Ship 'em back to Kamino? You and I both know what will happen there."
Milo wasn't sure, not really, but he could imagine well enough. The Kaminoans don't like clones that are 'different,' and after what they've been through, these kids are sure to be labeled as such. He frowned in thought. "I'm not sure what she wants to do, but I'll bet she has an idea."
"Well, I haven't heard anything about a plan, so until I do, I'm going to make sure that they get some kind of...I don't know. Normalcy." Trax sighed again, and when he spoke there was a new bitterness to his voice. "Whatever that means to folks like us."
It was the tone more so than the words that made Milo study his brother. "What does that mean?"
A long pause, during which the boys continued to race and the Jedi's sabers hummed. Finally Traxis shook his head and kept his gaze fixed on the cadets, still speaking in Mando'a. "I'm just not sure anymore, Mi."
"About what?" He'd all but forgotten about the comlink in his hand.
"Seeing them acting like kids, like real kids, it's just..." Traxis exhaled again and frowned. "If they go back to Kamino – even if they don't get reconditioned – they'll be soldiers. That's it. That's all they'll ever be." Milo nodded, but it was more of a go on gesture than an agreement, but Traxis didn't speak for several minutes, his hand absently tracing the line of the scar on his face. "It's not fair. I've seen war, I've seen battles and death and blood...and I don't want them to have any part of it." He sighed again and sat up as if reaching some decision. "I want them to have the choice that I didn't."
Again, Milo was silent while he absorbed the words. Long ago they might have sounded like treason, but he knew otherwise, now. Kalinda's tried to tell us before, but now I think I understand. Finally he gave his brother a smile. "I think that's a good thing, Trax. But what does it mean for you?"
At this, the scarred clone gave a sardonic chuckle and shook his head. "Still working on that part, vod." He glanced at No-Name and Risky beside him, who were still engrossed in the Jedi's sparring, and spoke in Basic. "Why don't you go with your brothers?"
No-Name met his eyes; there was a moment where Milo wondered if he would refuse, but in the end he nodded and stood up, looking at Risky as the other boy got to his feet as well. Without a word they thudded off to join the others. Traxis watched their movements for a while longer as Milo fiddled with the comlink and tried not to be distracted by the red-haired Jedi. It's no good, you know, he told himself as he poked at a loose wire. Even if either of you were in a position to...do anything, she's nothing like Kalinda and you're not like the captain. Lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place.
Besides, you've made your decision; going backwards isn't an option.
"Choices," he said at last. "They don't seem so important when you think you don't have any." Traxis looked at him but said nothing. A few minutes later, Milo sighed to himself as the comlink lit up. "Another one working, at least." A glance beside him showed that there were four more that needed attention, so he set the working one aside and picked up another.
Beyond them, the Jedi continued to spar.
FYI: Woo! This is "officially" the halfway point! :D
So you can probably guess that all the talk about the planet Mundali relates to the third and final part of this trilogy, which is currently in the first rewrite stage. It's shaping up to be an eventful story, in more ways than one! (If the name sounds familiar, it's because Kali and Stone visited Mundali in my fic, Awakening, in the other "timeline." It's an "M" rated tale, but worth a look – I think – and Honi's in it as well!)
As always, I appreciate your reviews, comments, remarks, and speculations. If you have any questions about this story, or any of my work, please feel free to PM me!
Also: consider this a not-so-shameless plug for the latest installment of "The Misadventures of Shadow Squad" tomorrow! :P