Chapter Thirteen: At What Cost

1084 days ABG

"Vod? Hey, vod..."

Who is that? Who's calling me? It was an effort to convince his eyes to open, but Stonewall managed after a few seconds of determination. Everything was blurry and for a moment he wondered if he'd lost his sight.

"Hello, Stonewall? Come in, Captain."

After he blinked several times and the room came into focus, what he saw did nothing to ease his sense of disorientation: judging from the instruments and presence of medical supplies he was in an infirmary of some kind, but it everything was softer than it should have been, as if the edges had been sanded down. This isn't the Wayfarer or a GAR sickbay. Where am I?

A noise sounded to his right and he turned his head – slowly, as his muscles were stiff and even the small movement made him wince – to see Crest lying in a hospital bed, regarding him with amusement. "He lives. Finallly...I thought I was going to have to keep talking to myself."

Stonewall gave a deep inhale, assessing his condition and trying to pull up the last thing he remembered. "We were on Sethos, getting out of Creon's facility..." He glanced at Crest for confirmation; the bald clone grimaced and nodded.

"Yeah, I remember that little fiasco."

"The cadets..." Stonewall tried to sit up, but the sudden shifting of blood in his veins made him dizzy, and the throb of pain in his arms and shoulders was enough to keep him lying prone. "Are they okay? And the Padawan?" He rubbed at his forehead and tried to ignore the queasy sensation in his gut.

The bald clone managed a shrug. "Not sure. No one's been in since I've been awake."

Nodding, Stonewall closed his eyes and reached into the Force – still humming in his veins – to contact Kali. As he did so, an image of her smiling down at him, moments before she crumpled to his feet to the sound of blaster-fire filled his mind; he tried to ignore it. Just a dream. It wasn't real.

And then she was there, in his mind and he smiled. Stonewall? You're awake? There was relief in her voice, overwhelming relief, interlaced with joy. She didn't wait for him to reply. I'll be there in a moment.

He opened his eyes and glanced at Crest, who was watching him with a bemused expression. "She's on her way, isn't she?"

Stonewall chuckled and nodded even as he tried to push himself upright again; however, the moment he did so he felt his arms and legs tighten with pain, so he was forced to lie back down with a hiss.

"Tried that already. I guess fire and flesh don't mix so well."

With a sigh, Stonewall tried to shift on the sleep-couch – Not a bed? Strange – to a semi-upright position; while he was doing so, the door slid open and Kalinda strode in, her eyes locked onto him. He opened his mouth to speak to her but she shook her head.

"What in the seven hells of Tethys are you trying to do?"

"Yes, I am feeling better," he replied in a dry voice. "Thanks for asking."

She rolled her eyes and moved to him, all but pushing him onto the couch until he was lying on his back again. "You were in a bacta tank for far too long to even think about trying to get up right now, Stone." Despite the annoyance in her voice he could tell that she was worried and found himself wondering how bad it must have been. However, before he could speak again she glanced at Crest. "You both should keep lying down and resting. That's an order, in case you were wondering."

The bald clone leaned back and regarded her. "In that case...what's a guy have to do to get some food around here?"

Kali looked at Stone. "Are you hungry, too?" He considered a moment, then nodded. She made to get to her feet and rush out the door but he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him, ignoring the lance of pain in his arm. "Stone what are you-"

He silenced her with a kiss, feeling her body relax in his grip as she dropped to a kneel beside him; Crest made a noise of mock-disgust and shifted in the bed – presumably turning away – but Stonewall found that he didn't care in the slightest. When they parted, he smiled at her, pleased at the flush that had crept to her cheeks. "That was for saving our lives."

She laughed and leaned into him. "Not that I hope it will have to happen again, but I'm glad I could." After another moment or two she cleared her throat and glanced between them. "I'll be right back with some lunch; in the meantime, please stay put and try to rest."

"How are the cadets?" Stone asked, still reluctant to let her go.

"Everyone's fine," she replied. "In fact, now that you two are awake, I want us all to have a briefing of a sort." Her voice changed, became more solemn. "We need to figure out our next move."

We, not I. Stonewall nodded and released her hand. "Sounds good." She smiled at him again before slipping out of the room.

Crest sighed and crossed his arms behind his head, though he winced at the movement. "Back to square one."

Stonewall watched the door slide shut behind her and gave a quiet sigh. Again, the memory of his dream resurfaced and he tried to push it aside. But the image of her collapsing to the ground beside him, surrounded by white-armored troopers – clones like him, he was sure – would not leave his mind, and he felt a stirring of apprehension that he could not ignore. It was just a fever-dream.

Nothing more.

Traxis was in the cafeteria with the lads, watching them shoveling down lunch when he saw Kalinda streak through the room, her face set. The moment she caught sight of him she headed over; he watched as the clone boys sat up straight and stopped chewing. Impressive. Didn't think anyone had that power over them. "What is it?"

She inhaled. "Stone and Crest are awake; I want everyone to meet in their room in the infirmary in half an hour. We have a lot to go over."

He cast a glance at the boys, who were listening avidly, before looking back at her and speaking in Mando'a so that they wouldn't understand. Though how long that will last, I'm not sure. "What's going to happen to them?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," she replied, also in Mando'a.

Nodding, he leaned forward in his chair. "If they get sent back..." He frowned and shook his head at her expression of worry. "It won't be good. Take my word for it." The long-necks would just as soon toss them in the ocean for all they care.

She took a deep breath and nodded, glancing at the lads and giving them a smile. When she spoke again it was in Basic. "I see you've all been busy."

No-Name saluted her. "Kalinda, we've made a full recon of the gymnasium, as you requested."

Trax could see that she was biting her tongue to keep from chuckling as she replied in a serious voice. "And what is your report, cadet?"

He glanced at the others before looking back at the dark-haired Jedi. "We think you'll be pleased, sir."

"Thank you," she replied with a smile. "I hope I have a chance to enjoy it." She looked back at Traxis. "Half an hour? Can you tell Milo?"

He nodded. "Sure thing. Want me to let General Tallis and her Padawan know as well? Last I saw, they were all together." He lifted a brow and they exchanged a knowing look.

"Thanks, Trax, but if that's the case, I'll find them before I speak to Master Altis...I reckon he should be a part of this." She sighed and he could see the agitation in her expression.

Don't envy her all those plates she's juggling. He nodded again before glancing at the lads. "Then I'll let Weave know, and if you like, we can bring some food to the captain and baldy – if you need some more time."

She paused, but nodded after a moment of deliberation. "That would be very helpful...thank you, Trax. And thank you, guys," she added, glancing at the lads. "I'll see you soon."

And she was gone.

Traxis watched her leave then looked back at the cadets, all of whom were gaping after the Jedi. He cleared his throat. "You heard the General...clean your plates, then we'll bring the others some grub."

Zara stepped out of the showers and glanced around for Master Tallis, who was already in the corner of the gymnasium, conversing with Kalinda and one of her clone soldiers. Milo, she thought as she approached. The younger one. He's nice.

As her master caught sight of the Nautolan girl, she frowned, though the look was not directed at her, and turned back to Milo. "Are you certain?"

The clone trooper nodded; his own face was tightly drawn and he was holding a comlink. "I was testing the comms when I caught word...the Chancellor's been kidnapped by Grievous, practically right out of his office in the Senate. There's a skirmish going on above Coruscant as we speak."

The adults exchanged a look and Zara felt her blood chill. I've never met the Chancellor, but the other Jedi speak highly of him. She looked up at her teacher. "What's going to happen?" Her voice sounded very small in the wake of such news.

Master Tallis shook her head and ran a hand through her damp hair that she'd not yet pinned up. "I don't know, Zara. But I think that we need to return to the Temple...if things are as bad as they say, they'll need every Jedi they can get."

Kalinda's face was pale and she said nothing for a moment, clearly lost in thought. Finally she sighed and rubbed at her forehead. "Very well. I want everyone in the infirmary in about..." She glanced at Milo's chrono. "Twenty-five minutes. We have much to discuss."

"We'll see you there, Kalinda," Milo replied. "Don't worry; we'll get it sorted out."

She smiled at him and nodded again before turning on her heel and heading out of the room.

It was easier than Weave had imagined to persuade Levy to eat something that Ares brought, and as it turned out the boy had a voracious appetite; despite the fact that he still had not said a word, it was good to see him acting like a normal kid. Weave was seated beside him in one of the infirmary rooms, watching Levy and casually plucking away on the dulcimer. It was peaceful, in a strange way, and he found himself thinking over the boy's future.

What will happen if the Kaminoans get a hold of him again? Will they try to help him? The idea was laughable and he snorted to himself, causing Levy to look up from his muja-sauce with curiosity. Weave smiled and shook his head. "Nothing, Levy. Just thinking of something funny."

Nodding, the boy scraped the bowl with his spoon, eager to get every bite. Ares had also brought him a change of clothes and Weave had managed to get him to clean off much of the dust that had covered him, though he was not as filthy as the others had been. A result of Creon's procedure, I suppose. Weave suppressed a shudder and it was then that he knew with certainty that he could not let anyone else harm this boy. I can't do it. No matter if it means defection...some things are more important; I see that now. I think that Kalinda will understand. As for the others...

A chime at the door made him look up even as Levy froze, his eyes locked on the panel. "It's Traxis," his brother's voice replied. "And the lads."

"Door's open." Weave called out, then glanced at Levy. "Your brothers are here."

Levy swallowed and set down the bowl before moving to stand behind Weave, who noted that he kept tugging at the edges of his sleeve so that it covered his arm completely. When the others came in, there were a few moments of tense silence while the cadets regarded one another before one of them – No-Name, if Weave's memory served – stepped forward to his brother. "Lev? You okay?"

Silence. Slowly, Levy nodded. No-Name grinned and reached for him as if to grasp his hand, but Levy jerked away. Weave glanced between them, noting how the other boys looked doubtful. "It's fine, Levy. They just want to make sure you're okay." He watched as Levy seemed to consider something before stepping forward.

No-Name turned to the others. "Come on...it's still Levy. What's the matter with you lot? You scared of a brother?" The other boys cast wary looks at one another, but they stepped forward as well. There were a few more tense moments before someone made a joke and the sound of their laughter filled the room. Levy grinned and Weave noted the relaxed set of his shoulders.

Traxis caught his eye and the two men shared a knowing look before the scarred clone spoke in Mando'a. "He seems better."

"I hope so, but I don't know..." Weave made a helpless gesture even as the boys were murmuring to one another; it sounded like Risky was sharing the layout of the ship with Levy, who was listening with interest. He paused, then shook his head and looked back at the scarred clone. "I'm not letting him go back. I'm going to stay with him."

He wasn't sure of Traxis' reaction, but his brother only nodded, his expression thoughtful as he watched the lads as well. "I'm thinking along the same lines here. You know what the long-necks will do to them if we let them go back." He snorted and crossed his arms.

Substandard. Inadequate. Losses within acceptable parameters. Weave shivered as the language of the Kaminoans trickled through his brain, but he was heartened by the knowledge that he was not alone in his decision. After some cajoling, Levy had been persuaded to pull back his sleeve; all the boys were examining the implant and speaking in low tones. Though he didn't seem entirely comfortable with the attention, Levy looked happy to be with his brothers again, which made the knot in Weave's chest unravel a bit more.

So he looked up at Trax and continued to speak in Mando'a. "Are we ready to be deserters?"

His brother shifted his feet and for a long moment he didn't respond. The boys broke into laughter about something – Levy was grinning as well – and he nodded, once. "Ready as I can be, I guess. Never thought it would happen."

Weave changed the visual feed of his implant and studied Levy and the boys, checking for any abnormalities in their bodies. They looked healthy and happy. He glanced back at Traxis. "I guess that's how these things go. The only constant is change, after all."

At this, Traxis gave a chuckle. Several moments later he tapped his chrono. "Kalinda wants to speak to everyone in the captain and Crest's room. We're going to figure out what everyone's going to do."

Weave nodded. "Sounds good."

Thankfully, Master Altis seemed to have picked up on her thoughts, as he met Kali at the entrance to the meditation chambers, which were not far from the gymnasium. "The Chancellor's been kidnapped," she said as she hurried up to him. "By Grievous."

He nodded and held up his own comlink. "I just received word from the bridge." His face was pensive. "This is not going to end well, I fear. I tried to contact Yoda, to no avail. It seems that the battle is interfering with the planet's long-range communication systems."

Kali took a breath. "Master, I'm getting all of my people together...would you please come with me to the infirmary? We have a lot to talk about – even more now, it seems –and I think that you should be there."

"Certainly," he replied, lifting his hand to let her lead the way. They walked in silence for a moment before he glanced at her. "Your captain is awake, then?"

She nodded but said nothing.

Altis was quiet for another minute before he glancing at her again. "Before we go in there, Kali, I want to extend an offer to him, but I wanted to speak to you first: if he'd like to study here, he's more than welcome to do so. I could speak to the Council to get a sanction for him, so that he would not be labeled as a deserter."

"That's very kind, Master, but I'm not sure he'll go for it...he's committed to his duty with the Republic." Even as she spoke the words, she wondered at their veracity, a sentiment that the Jedi Master picked up on, given his reply.

"If my understanding is correct, Kali, he's committed to you." Altis smiled but lifted his hand. "It is an invitation, merely. An option." He gave her a look that missed nothing. "There are always options, Kalinda. For everyone."

Stone's been learning so quickly, but I'm limited to what I can teach him – especially with a lightsaber. Perhaps it would be a good thing for us to remain here for a time; he can train with a real Jedi Master – as he deserves to – and I can look into our Force-connection...perhaps investigate this planet where my mother and father journeyed, when the war is over. It was a tempting thought, indeed. It was also a comfortable middle-ground for her, as it meant that she would not be officially turning her back on the Jedi Order; her name would not be added to the list of the Lost Twenty. The Altisian Jedi were still considered a sect of the Order, albeit a fringe one, and their relief activities were sanctioned by the Council.

I could do this work. I could perform mercy-missions and still provide aid to those who've been affected by the war. Hope was a fragile thread that began to twine through her thoughts as she cast a sideways look at Altis. But it would be a massive change. And it would mean giving up so much that I'd always taken for granted.

She had a sudden, aching longing to talk to Obi-Wan about the whole matter, and found that she missed his steady presence as much as his calm counsel. But he's always been committed to the Jedi Order – the 'proper' Order – for as long as he's been alive. I doubt he'd be able to reconcile with my feelings on the matter, though Force knows he'd try. For my sake, if nothing else.

Her thoughts turned to the other members of Shadow Squad; she wondered what they would do if she decided to join the Altisian Jedi. I would never ask them – any of them – to give up their places, but I don't want to desert them after all we've been through; nor can I expect them to abandon their posts. Milo was leaving of his own accord and she was happy for him, but she felt anxiety for the others. I'll talk to them, see what they think, and go from there.

Again, she wondered what Stonewall would say. I hope he will understand. I think he will, if it means we could be together, really together...for what time we have left, anyway. Even though I'm older than him, I'll outlive Stone by many years. In her mind's eye she could see the withered face of an elder clone, a 'bad batcher' whom she'd met on Kamino and she shivered involuntarily. It feels like we'll be cheated of a normal life simply by virtue of genetics.

It was a reality that she'd tried to ignore until recently.

But now it felt like some hidden layer was cracking open inside of her even as a potential future swam before her eyes. Something akin to a normal life. I'm not sure I even understand what that means. Could it happen? Would he even consider it? Some small part of her brain laughed at the notion while another grew thoughtful. I think he'll follow me anywhere. But at what cost? It's a huge step, after all.

With a start she realized that she had been silent for far too long, and that Altis was regarding her as if her thoughts were written across her face."Thank you, Master. I'll speak to him." She nodded to the corridor. "Let's not waste any more time; we have much to do."

Shorter chapter today, but change is indeed in the air...

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