I'll Follow You Home – A Zutara Story.
Meeoko
Summary : Sequel to 'Eventualities Are Inevitable'. After being captured by a group of Fire Nation radicals and uncovering a secret plot to destroy the Avatar Cycle, Zuko and Katara must work together to find a way to stop the Sila Vatra before Sozin's Comet arrives.
Spoilers : Puppet Master, Day Of Black Sun part 1 and 2, Western Air Temple, Fire Bending Masters and Boiling Rock part 1 and 2.
Author's Note : Okay, people, it's the chapter you've been waiting for. Sorry again about the wait.
I just wanted to thank my good friend, Rooeru, who has produced yet another fan art for the fic. Round of applause for Roo, people! Whoo! The link is (as usual) on my profile, so go check it out and drop her a line.
According to Piacho-Master, this is not a feminist-friendly fiction lol. Too many strong female characters. And I want to apologise to ZutaraFan4, who I think went into Cardiac Arrest after reading the last chapter. XD
I think I should probably put more warning labels on this thing...
I also want to apologise if it's taking me longer than usual to reply to any of your reviews or PM's. My e-mail is apparently having a strike at the moment, but I'll try my best to get everything answered.
Zuko arched his body upwards in the saddle of the Emu-Horse, hoping to see directly over the hill in front of them and the coastal Earth Kingdom town that lay beyond it. Though he knew that he should be concentrating on the mission ahead of them, Zuko found that he couldn't quite calm himself down. During the two days that they had spent on the war balloon, he and Katara had been almost inseparable.
There had been no need to be secretive about it. Of course, Toph already knew and Chit Sang simply didn't care. Suki had also admitted sheepishly that she knew about their relationship, and had been immediately sworn to secrecy by Katara until the war was over.
Zuko could understand why. He wasn't exactly looking forward to telling Sokka what his intentions were.
He'll probably think that I'm just going to end up hurting his baby sister. Either that, or he'll be overjoyed at the idea of making me eat seal blubber the night before the wedding!
They had spent the previous two days in some sort of eerie calm. Neither of them were really used to it. Neither could remember a time that they had simply been around each other where it didn't involve a secret mission, training the Avatar, plotting against Ozai, or running for their lives!
So, when he and Katara were both thrust forward into the strange calming world, where only they seemed to exist, they hadn't been entirely certain how to act around each other. This initial awkwardness, however, had not lasted long.
Soon enough, they had begun talking. They had talked about the war, about Aang and Ozai. About what they would do after the war was over, though Zuko couldn't help but think it should have been 'if the war was over'. But after a while, all thoughts of the war and the hardship were forgotten and they began to talk about themselves.
Katara had told Zuko all about her childhood in the South Pole. About her memories and her friendships. The things that they would do with each coming of summer, how they spent their time and even her mother.
After hearing about the brutal death of Katara's mother, Zuko had felt an immense pain in his chest. He truly felt empathy for her situation – having lost his own mother to the war (though under completely different circumstances). Katara had cried, reliving the awful memories over and over again inside her head, until he had hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead. Soon, the tears had all been shed and they simply stood outside on the bow of the war balloon, looking out over the stars, as was their habit.
One day I'm going to find the man who killed her mother! And I'm going to make him wish he had never set foot in the snow!
The long and arduous two day journey on the war balloon had certainly been made a lot easier with Katara for company. Occasionally, Zuko would have to leave her to refuel the furnaces, or plot the next course of action, but it was not for long.
Poor Toph, however had not fared so well on the journey. She had spent the entire trip feeling sick and woozy, running back and forth between her room and the railing of the ship to regurgitate her dinner over the side. Zuko knew that Toph had a vengeful hatred for flying, and she made it clear to all that came near.
The most they had heard from her during their two days aboard the ship was when he and Katara had been eating together inside the cabin of the great war balloon. Katara had reached a tentative hand over the table and placed it on top of his. Toph had immediately made some loud gagging noises and stuck her tongue out.
"Geez! Will you guys give it a rest already? Seriously, that's just gross! Nobody wants to see you two all over each other all the time!"
Zuko had tried to keep in mind that the Earth Bender was just cranky because of her sickness, as she stormed off, slamming the metal door behind her, which immediately dented. From then on, they had tried their best to stay out of Toph's way.
Stop thinking about her. You need to think about the mission. You need to think about the mission!
But no matter how hard he tried, Zuko simply couldn't bring himself down from his high. To anybody who saw him, they would have seen the cool, neutral expression on his face that he always had, but inside, Zuko was dancing.
He still couldn't quite figure out what had compelled him to ask Katara to marry him on top of the war balloon. Perhaps it was his uncle, sending waves of good chi after him. Maybe it was the altitude that had made him a little disorientated and given him extra courage. Maybe it was his way of saying goodbye, if something bad happened to either of them. But no matter what the reason was, he was glad that he had done it.
Zuko tried not to laugh, remembering Toph's words on top of the volcano.
"You know, Katara, you're not allowed to marry Sparky without my permission!"
He wondered what Toph's reaction would be when she found out. Both Zuko and Katara had decided not to tell anyone of their engagement until the war was over. Though, Zuko couldn't help but feel the same awful little word popping up inside his head. 'If the war is over'.
He tried to brush the thought aside and just enjoy the clean air. Zuko had never really noticed quite how much he hated the air in the Fire Nation until returning there with Azula. It was always clouded and dirty, but out in the farthest reaches of the Earth Kingdom, the air was pure and brisk.
Now able to walk freely through allied territory, Katara had taken to wearing her Water Tribe clothing again. Zuko always thought that she looked exceptionally beautiful, no matter what she wore. But it was nice to see her so happy again. Here, she could be herself, without fear of the Fire Lord, Azula or the Sila Vatra. She could live without fear. Or at least, for the moment.
Suki had also taken the chance to change back into the uniform of the Kyoshi Warrior's and was clearly enjoying the familiarity. Even Chit Sang had exchanged his Fire Nation colours for dark brown ones. It suited him well and he seemed to enjoy his new clothes, striding around like a proud young boy, having just been given his first blade.
Zuko had also changed his own clothes to the Earth Kingdom style, so as not to arouse suspicion. Though they were too loose and he felt a little unsteady in them, he couldn't help but think back to his days as a fugitive. To his days as Lee.
Was it really as bad as I always made it out to be? Was I just holding onto my old life? Well, when it came to it, I guess I made my choice...
He bobbed up and down in the saddle of his Emu-Horse. As they broke over the ridge of the hill, Zuko could make out the rooftops of the Earth Kingdom town. A small line of smoke filtered up through the sky from one of the chimneys and the smell of the sea was still present. He had come to love the smell of the sea, as they'd been flying over in the war balloon.
Once, Zuko had loathed the sea and water of any kind. His experiences at the North Pole certainly hadn't helped. But recently, he'd begun to enjoy the calming sensation that seemed to accompany the ocean.
Looking over at Katara as she bumped up and down on her own Emu-Horse, Zuko tried his very best not to smile.
Maybe water isn't so bad after all...
"No, Avatar Aang." Iroh chided gently. "You must position your right arm closer to your chest. No, do not ball yourself up like that. You must forget your Earth Bending. Fire Bending comes from the breath, not from the muscles."
Aang sighed, trying feebly to correct his position. General Iroh had arrived at the Western Air Temple the night before and had been eager to begin teaching him. But he found that he just couldn't concentrate.
Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in and out, Aang thrust himself forward into the stance. An arc of flame burst from his fingertips and he span around in a semi circle, attempting to create the spiralling wall of flame that Iroh had shown him.
But he lost his footing and fell backwards onto the floor.
Iroh shook his head. Letting out a frustrated breath, Aang ran a hand over his smooth head. His heart beat quickly in his chest, but he knew it wasn't from his workout.
"Why can't I get this?" he breathed irritably.
Taking his arms out from his billowing sleeves and walking over towards Aang, Iroh reached down a hand. Pulling himself up with help from General Iroh, the Avatar looked down at the floor. He wanted to go and pick up his glider. To go and fly away somewhere for a while to help him think. But he knew that General Iroh would never allow it. It would be incredibly disrespectful.
"Something is troubling you, Aang."
Forcing himself to look up at his new Fire Bending master, Aang forced a small smile.
"Is it that obvious?"
The general nodded, smiling back. He guided him over towards a flat rock and sat him down. As Aang had expected, there was an assortment of tea pots and cups laid out on the rock. He smiled a little sadly. Iroh reminded him so much of Monk Giatso.
"Now, young Avatar." Iroh said gently. "I think that you and I need to have a little talk. If you cannot concentrate, then you cannot practice. And if you do not practice, then you shall only suffer defeat. Trust me, I know. I had the exact same problem with Zuko after his banishment, and look what happened. You beat him every time!"
He laughed a hearty laugh, his shoulders shaking. Aang wasn't quite used to seeing Iroh without his pot belly and he half expected to look down and see it shaking too. Feeling a smile return to his lips, the Avatar couldn't help but laugh along with Iroh.
"Zuko?" he asked, unbelieving "But he was always so determined."
Iroh shook his shaggy head, smiling fondly at the memory.
"Determined, yes. But my nephew was always one step ahead of himself. In fact, before we found you in the South Pole, he was having difficulty mastering the basics of Fire Bending." he chuckled, remembering the infuriated look on Zuko's face. "He demanded that I teach him something more advanced, because he had grown tired of failing."
Aang raised an eyebrow. He found it difficult to believe that Zuko had had trouble mastering the basics of Fire Bending. Whenever they had run into each other, Aang had been hard pressed to just get away with his skin intact. But he supposed, that everyone had to start somewhere. Even royalty. Even the Avatar.
"Now." Iroh smiled, pouring them both a cup of tea. "I think that you would benefit from a wonderful cup of Jasmine tea and a wise ear to lend."
Sighing, Aang lowered his head, though a small smile pressed at his lips. How was it that general Iroh always knew exactly what to say?
"It's just, I'm worried." he said sadly. "I'm worried about the comet."
"Ah. It is natural to fear death, Aang." Iroh sipped his cup of tea. "It is understandable that you are worried."
But Aang shook his head. He wrapped his hands around the warmth of the tea cup, letting the liquid cool.
"No, it's not that."
Iroh placed his cup of tea down onto the rock and raised an eyebrow. Aang felt foolish. Of course he should be worried about the come! He should be worried about Ozai. He should be worried about the world! But he wasn't.
"I know I should be preparing for this." Aang continued. "I know that it's silly, but..."
Iroh waited patiently for the young Avatar to continue. It was obvious that something was bothering him. And it wasn't the comet, the Fire Lord, or even the war.
"I'm worried that if I don't make it back," the Avatar mumbled sadly. "that the girl I like is going to suffer because of my mistake. I don't want her to get hurt."
The old general's face seemed to fall, though he quickly hid it again. It looked as if something was bothering him. Aang wasn't certain, but it looked as if Iroh was feeling...disappointed.
"I see." he breathed a heavy sigh, though he tried to replace it with a smile. "I can understand your concern. The Lady Katara is certainly a beautiful woman."
Aang looked up, feeling a blush colouring his cheeks. The General obviously hadn't heard.
"Uhm, Sifu Iroh." Aang felt his cheeks burning. "Things have...changed."
The General cocked an eyebrow, but in a manner that seemed pleasantly surprised. It seemed to Aang as if General Iroh knew something that he did not. For a moment, he was tempted to ask him exactly what it was that he wasn't telling him. But he brushed it aside in his embarrassment. It was certainly a long and complicated story to tell.
"It is not Lady Katara that your heart lies with?" Iroh asked, the hint of a playful smile at his lips. "Perhaps there is...another?"
Feeling himself cringing underneath the old man's gaze, Aang forced himself to smile.
"It's kinda complicated."
"Complicated, you say?" Iroh smirked, toying with the clearly uncomfortable Avatar. "Well, dear boy, in my experiences, the word 'complicated' has appeared rather often. I doubt that there is anything you can tell me that I have not already heard."
Feeling defeat coming nearer, the young Avatar swallowed his pride and felt his smile grow a little wider. There was simply no way he could avoid telling his Fire Bending Master for much longer, the old man was simply far too persuasive. And after all, Iroh had never let him down before. Surely he would understand.
"Well...you remember back in Ba Sing Se? When I was talking to you about the Avatar State and how I couldn't unlock my final chakra because...because I couldn't let go of somebody I loved?"
Iroh nodded, once again picking up his cup of Jasmine tea and taking a sip.
"I remember it well."
Unable to look the smug old man in the eye, Aang instead decided to pick up his rapidly cooling tea cup and take a sip. He didn't pass up the chance to practice his Fire Bending and immediately heated up the cool cup between his palms. He felt, irritably, that it was the only form of Fire Bending that he could do. His mind was simply too clouded to concentrate on anything more complicated.
"Well, the person that I was talking about was Katara." Aang rubbed a hand over his bald head. "Though, I guess you already knew that."
Once again, the old man nodded. Aang was beginning to feel rather small underneath his searching gaze and pressing silence. How was it that General Iroh could get him to speak so freely without uttering a single word?
"Anyway, when Katara and Zuko disappeared - when they were captured by the Sila Vatra, I just...lost it." Aang looked down at the stone, remembering the pain and anguish that he had felt. "I thought that I was never going to see her again. I thought that she was...she was..."
But he found that he couldn't bring himself to say the very last word. Those few weeks had been the worst of his life. He had felt as if his entire world was crumbling away between his hands. First he had lost his people, his way of life and then, Katara.
"I just gave up hope. I thought that she was gone." he mumbled, never once taking his eyes away from the stone. "And somebody...somebody brought me back. But when I came back, I just couldn't see Katara the same way anymore. Even when she and Zuko got back here, I just didn't feel the same. It was like it was gone! Instead, there was just...her. The, uhm...other girl.She saved me."
Iroh placed his now empty tea cup onto the stone they were sitting on. Aang's remained partly untouched and he stared at it sadly, as if it held all of the answers to his problems, but simply wouldn't tell him.
"I think I know who you are speaking of, Aang." Iroh said kindly, placing a large hand on the Avatar's shoulder.
Blinking in confusion, Aang looked up at his Fire Bending Master with questioning eyes.
"You do?"
The wise old general smiled, squeezing Aang's shoulder tenderly. Despite his worry and sadness, the Avatar found it difficult not to smile. It was as if Monk Giatso had been born again, into Iroh. It was as if they were one in the same.
"I do." Iroh nodded, the smile at his lips crinkling his eyes. "And I must tell you now that she is strong. Do not fear for her, my boy, for I am certain that she will endure throughout even the worst of times. Though she is yet young, she is strong willed and determined. What many people see as her weakness, I see as her strength." Taking his hand away from Aang' shoulder, Iroh pointed at his rear end, allowing a more playful grin to spread across his face. "Believe me, I know."
Aang's spirit seemed to half in weight as he felt himself laughing along with the general. Toph had told him before about her first encounter with Zuko's uncle.
"Got him right in the butt!" she had laughed, proudly.
"You should not blame yourself, young Avatar." Iroh smiled when the laughter died down. "You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You should not need to add the weight of an Earth Bender also."
"I just hope she knows how much I like her." he mumbled, with the smile still present on his lips.
"I am certain that she does, my boy." Iroh chirped. "There is little we can do that she cannot see."
Letting out a relieved and grateful sigh, Aang looked over at General Iroh fondly, momentarily blocking out the worries in his mind. No matter what happened after the comet, he knew that Iroh was right. Toph was strong. She would go down fighting. And he would be brave for her, he would endure. If not for the world, if not for himself or his friends, then for love.
"Thank you, Sifu Iroh." he smiled, feeling himself grow lighter. "You're always there to help me. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have a Fire Bending teacher right now. I owe you so much."
But Iroh waved a passive hand in front of himself, smiling.
"You owe me nothing, dear boy. It is I who owe you. Without you, I fear that my nephew never would have chosen the right path. I have you to thank for saving him...and for saving me."
Aang wasn't quite sure exactly what Iroh meant, but decided not to question him. Perhaps one day, if he lived long enough to have his own son, then he would understand.
Raising himself up from the slab of rock, Iroh extended his hand once again down to the boy.
"Now, I think that we should make use of the daylight whilst it still lasts. We have much training to do. Do you think that you are ready to try again, young Avatar?"
Clasping Iroh's hand tightly and raising up from his sitting position, Aang felt himself beaming. He could feel it burning inside of him – the inner fire. He was ready to begin learning. He was ready to face the Fire Lord, come hell or high water.
"I'm ready, Sifu Iroh."
Zuko slumped down against the nearest wall he could find, feeling his groaning muscles scream in protest. Ever since their arrival in the Earth Kingdom town, he had done nothing but rush around the stalls, hoping to barter for any supplies that they would need. It was a rather large marketplace, so needless to say, it had taken him quite a while.
They had split up after entering the small town, hoping to cover more ground in less time. Toph and Katara had gone to look for a place to sleep for the night. Chit Sang and Suki had headed off in the opposite direction, to try and learn as much as they could about the Fire Sage's Temple. It seemed that the Earth Kingdom townsfolk were more than happy to share any possible flaws or weaknesses about the temple or its guardians.
I don't blame them... Zuko thought sadly, hearing his own words sounding inside his head. "What an amazing lie that was. They don't see our greatness! They hate us!"
He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes as he rested against the cool stone behind him. His feet were killing him.
Zuko hated shopping. He wondered his on earth Uncle had managed to do it all day without so much as a complaint or a single blister.
Though nobody had been willing to give them direct passage over to the Fire Sage's Temple, Zuko had managed to trade two of the Emu-Horses for a boat. Really, he could see no other way of getting them all to the temple.
He would have to sail them there himself, if he had to. His banishment had certainly taught him a few things, though he hadn't thought to see it that way until the day of Black Sun. Zuko only hoped that the small dingy would be large enough to occupy all of them. Four teenagers and one fully grown man, plus a few supplies – it was going to be a tight fit.
Looking at the angle of the sun ebbing in the sky, Zuko gauged that he had at least thirty minutes before he had to head down to the docks to meet the man who wished to trade the Emu-Horses for his boat. He wanted to use his time well.
Just two days away. Two days until the comet.
Letting his breath catch up with him, Zuko wondered absentmindedly if the storm was ever going to break!
Even before their imprisonment at the Fire Nation Palace, he could feel it coming. At first, it had been sharp, searing pain that shot through the scarred side of his face and left him feeling shaken. But soon, it had died down to a dull pain. He had expected to feel nothing more of it after that. Perhaps he had already missed the storm whilst he was recovering in the White Lotus safe house? But Zuko had never been lucky, and fate certainly didn't intend on making an exception this time.
"My father says that Azula was born lucky. He say's I was lucky to be born!"
Before they had boarded the war balloon three days previously, Zuko had felt the pain in his scar begin to prickle once again. As the days wore on, it only got worse and worse. It left him with a pounding headache and a throbbing behind his eye, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it.
The storm was coming. And soon.
I just hope to Agni that it doesn't come when we're out at sea...
Despite the urgency rising in his stomach, Zuko couldn't help but think about Katara. He knew that he should be planning for the arrival of the comet and exactly what they were supposed to do once reaching the Fire Sage's Temple, but he couldn't.
There was always the slight chance that Hakoda was right. It might still be a ruse. A trap or a distraction to keep them from the real battle, but Zuko very much doubted it.
He had seen it himself. The Sila Vatra crowding around Nori's necklace like hungry animals, gleefully standing over it and letting their treacherous blood wash over it. There was no way the Fire Nation would go to such extents just to send them in the wrong direction! Though Zuko hoped that someone would prove him wrong.
The image of Katara's horrified, tearful face came back to haunt him as the Sila Vatra had desecrated her familie's most valued possession.
"That stone belonged to her. It belongs in the Water Tribe, where it should be! That necklace should have been passed to my family - to me! I can't just...just go!"
"That is part of my history. Part of my family! I can't let it drown in their blood!"
Zuko could see it written all over their faces. Suki, Toph, Katara – even Chit Sang! They were all thinking the exact same thing as he was. They dared not hope for the mercy of a wild goose chase. They knew that it was real and it was coming.
And that was why Zuko so desperately craved to be with Katara. It pulled at him like a physical longing. She was the cure to his ailment, the water to his thirst, the sun in the darkest of caves. And no matter how much he tried to deny it to himself, Zuko knew in his heart, that he should begin preparing to say something.
To laugh and pretend that it's all okay? To tell her that it's going to be okay? To say...goodbye?
Shaking his head irritably, Zuko tried not to think about the consequences. The sharp, scalding pain returned to his scar and he snarled, reaching for it instinctively. He kept his eyes tightly shut until the pain began to die down, though it never left him completely. It never would until the storm broke.
If he was going to head into the unknown -maybe even into death- Zuko wanted to spend his last few peaceful, precious hours with Katara. With the woman he loved.
I still can't believe I get to call her that now. If I'd said that to her a month ago, she would have Water-Whipped me off the side of the Western Air Temple!
He tried not to laugh at the irony – it hurt to laugh. The Fire Prince and a Water Tribe girl – mortal enemies, in love. When he was younger, he had been expected to marry nobility. But of course, he no longer cared.
Though, when Zuko thought it over, however, he realised that Katara was a princess, of sorts. Her father was the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe after all (no matter how small and unpopulated it might be).
It was a perfect union in an un-perfect world. Zuko decided that if they did somehow manage to defeat Ozai and finally declare peace, he wouldn't care how his people saw him. Wether they accepted him back as the banished and treacherous Prince, or even the Fire Lord – he knew that he wouldn't let his people's judgement affect his decision.
Looking back up into the sky, Zuko let out a heavy sigh when he realised that he was late for the meeting with the trading fisherman. Placing his hands underneath him, he pushed himself upwards and onto his feet, wiping down the dust on his clothes as he did so. He had dawdled far too long.
Feeling his eyes lower to the ground sadly as he walked along the dusty path towards the docks, Zuko couldn't help but utter the words that he was certain almost everyone else was thinking.
"Time flies when you think you're going to die."
"Hey Zuko, can I talk to you for a minute?"
Zuko turned his head in the direction of the noise, but didn't move from his spot on the balcony. Although the inn that Katara and Toph had found them was neither glamorous or plush, it was certainly comfortable. He hadn't moved from the balcony since arriving back from bargaining with the fisherman.
"Uh, yeah. Sure."
Beckoning Suki over with a nod, he turned back to look out at the stars. The swelling ocean lulled softly beneath the foundations of the inn, swirling in and out between the support beams before being sucked back out again. He took a lengthy breath, savouring every last lungfull of fresh air that met him. Who knew when he would be smelling fresh air again?
Suki walked over towards him, her light footfalls sounding on the sturdy wood of the balcony. Turning her back to the ocean and leaning against the railings, she tried to catch his gaze. He didn't meet her eye. It was rare that he looked anyone directly in the eyes. Except Katara.
"Pretty stars." she commented, feebly trying to strike up a conversation.
"Yeah. Pretty." Zuko replied, sounding equally as unenthusiastic. He had never been one for small talk.
"So..." Suki continued, looking down at her nails awkwardly. "Two days until the end of the world, huh?"
A chilling wind blew past, though Zuko barely noticed it. He just looked out into the ocean with dull eyes and even duller thoughts.
"Yeah. Two days. Lots of fire."
"Yep."
The silence stretched on. From the corner of his eyes, Zuko could see Suki beginning to squirm awkwardly. Silence had never been a problem for Zuko. If he needed to, he would just go back inside his mind, to his thoughts. They kept him busy enough.
"So..." Suki drawled.
"What's wrong?" Zuko asked over the top of her own voice, hoping to put an end to the useless conversation. "Do you want to talk or not?"
Stretching his palms, laid out flat against his crossed legs, facing upwards, Zuko tried not to let his temper flare. He wasn't in the best of moods. He had been sitting in the centre of the large support beam on the balcony, trying to meditate for almost three hours.
Two days. Lots of fire.
Though she tried to hide it, Zuko could see Suki fidgeting. Either something was bothering her, or she wanted to speak to him about something that made her uncomfortable. He knew that much. Crossing her hands behind her back and leaning heavily on the railing, she moved her mouth around awkwardly, as if she were chewing something.
Why are people always so nervous around me? I'm good now! Good!
"It's just..." Suki chewed over her words carefully. "...I don't know what to send back to Sokka. I know that I need to say something, I just...don't know what."
Looking down at the roiling waves beneath, Zuko nodded and tried not to look like Suki felt. He was facing the exact same problem.
Chief Hakoda had sent Hawky, Sokka's pet messenger hawk, after them with a message. It had arrived a little before they had, so it was Katara and Toph who had gotten to it first. Though Hakoda had avoided all mention of death or defeat, everyone who read his words could tell exactly what he wanted to say. Even Sokka's additional scribbled note at the end was riddled with hidden goodbye's, despite the fact that he had thrown in one of his usual good-natured jokes. Even the strange drawing he had added at the bottom didn't help to convince anybody (it looked like a picture of Momo, but Sokka had written that it was actually a self portrait of him giving them all a thumbs up).
How can everything change so quickly? This morning, I actually felt happy. But now...
Though everyone's spirits were down, they had all agreed not to send the reply message until everyone had considered their own replies and personal messages and had a chance to have their say. No one was taking any chances. They were saying goodbye, in case the worst was to happen. Nobody dared to read each others messages, it was too personal, too immediate.
Toph had of course, needed help from Katara to write her own message down. Zuko had immediately left the room, not wanting to intrude on the Earth Bender's privacy. Before stepping out into the balcony, however, he had caught the words, 'Aang' and 'parents'.
Even Chit Sang had written a letter, though to whom, they didn't know. It was left only to Katara, Suki and himself now. Neither of them knew what to write or how to say what they felt. Zuko didn't even know if he had the willpower to pick up the quill.
Uncle...he needs to know. But what do I say? And Katara. How can I tell her? What will I tell her?
Sighing, Zuko rubbed at the back of his neck. Stretching his legs out in front of him, he stepped down from his spot on the support beam to stand beside Suki, still looking out over the balcony.
"I can't answer for you." he said, a little more gruffly than he had intended. "Only you can tell him how you feel."
Lowering her eyes to the floor sadly, Suki nodded. She had removed her white face paint and armour and instead, stood simply in the green dress that accompanied the Kyoshi Warriors. It looked odd, seeing Suki in her warriors garb again. Zuko hadn't seen her dressed like that since he had burnt down her village in his quest to hunt Aang.
And I still feel bad about that...
"I know." she sighed heavily, turning to face the sea as well and leaning her arms on the railings. "I guess I just hoped that asking you would give me the answer I wanted."
"Why me?" Zuko asked, frowning slightly, but not once taking his gaze away from the stars.
"Sokka said that before you came to rescue me at the Boiling Rock, he got to know you a little bit better and that you talked about guy stuff and girlfriends." she frowned, deep in thought. "And apparently, something about a silver sandwich."
Zuko tried not to roll his eyes at the memory.
Silver sandwich...why did I have to say that? I need to stop trying to be wise, it just doesn't work.
"Anyway, my point is," Suki continued. "that he told you a little bit about me, right?"
"Yeah, he did."
He could see Suki beginning to fidget again, scraping away at the wooden railing with a fingernail. Clearly, she wanted him to do the talking.
"And?" she prompted, waving her hand for emphasis.
"And what?" Zuko asked, shrugging, feeling a little irritable. He was too wrapped up in his own problems at the moment.
Suki grunted, slapping her palm to her forehead. She pouted as she angrily replied, her voice growing a tone higher with every breath.
"Oh, nothing! Don't worry about it! It's not like I was going to ask you to tell me how he feels about me, so that I can see if he feels the same way I do or anything lke that! Not that I was going to tell him the things that I want to, like 'I love you', or 'I'll be waiting for you when you get back'!"
Suki began waving her arms in the arm, with a large scowl plastered on her face. But Zuko could see that she was beginning to lose it a little. Her eyes were beginning to grow glassy with an unshed coating of tears and her voice quavered. He immediately felt guilty for not telling her what she had wanted to hear.
It's getting to her. It's getting to all of us.
"You know what, Zuko, don't worry about it!" Suki fumed, pacing back and forward. "I'll just send him something a little less personal, shall I? 'Dear Sokka, Well, it was nice while it lasted. Guess we had a few good stories to tell. It would really stink if you got blown up or set on fire, but I'm pretty sure the same thing's going to happen to me anyway. See you in the Spirit World!'"
Throwing her arms down in defeat, Suki shut her eyes tightly and turned her back to him, no doubt trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over.
Now look what you've done! Why couldn't you just answer her question? Ugh! Why can't I speak to girls?!
Guilt washed over him and for a second, Zuko forgot his own anger and worry. Why had he expected to be the only person affected by this? If anything, he had the better deal – only one relative to tell (or at least, one that wasn't trying to kill him!). And now he had just confirmed all of the doubts and worries that someone else was having, simply because he was facing his own problems. It made him feel selfish and small.
He thought of Katara and how she had put aside her own worries and problems countless times so that she could help him. He could picture her, clear as day, looking down at him with saddened eyes, back at the Three Embers Inn. The words still rang clearly inside his head.
"You want to be strong for everybody and that's good. But when something happens. Something like last night, then we can all see that you're just as scared as the rest of us. You don't need to try and handle it all by yourself. Just let people take care of you for once, will you? I think that you've earned it by now."
Swallowing his pride and his courage, Zuko prised his hands away from the railing and took a deep breath. Even if he didn't know what to say, that didn't mean that he had to make it even more difficult for anyone else. Katara's voice continued to ring inside his head, scolding him.
"For the love of La, Zuko! Will you stop worrying about us long enough to see that we're worrying about you! Why won't you just let down your walls for once?"
Taking an uncertain step towards Suki, Zuko hoped to Agni that Sokka wouldn't take it the wrong way and hurt him if he ever found out, and he placed a single hand on her shoulder.
For a moment, she stopped shaking, if only briefly. Closing his eyes and letting out a sigh, Zuko thought back. He needed to fix this.
He needs to hear her feelings. If one of them doesn't come back...then they'll never have known.
"You mean a lot to him, Suki. Sokka wouldn't stop talking about you the whole way to the Boiling Rock. And he meant every word of what he said. I could see it on his face. I'm...sorry that I didn't tell you before."
Suki sniffed, bringing a hand up to her face to wipe away a tear. Her voice was barely above a whisper and Zuko had to strain to hear it before her words were lost on the wind.
"Do you think we're going to make it back?"
Though he had been preparing to answer that very same question all day, Zuko found he just couldn't give himself an answer. Shutting his eyes tightly and letting out a breath, he made up his mind. If he couldn't give Suki the words she needed, then he would give her the only thing he could. Hope.
"I know that you're going to see him again." he said softly, wishing he could believe his own words. "Because you're going to fight your way back. And if I know Sokka at all, then so will he."
The sea breeze blew past, sending his hair into his eyes. He breathed it in, hoping to calm his nerves. To stop time. Anything!
But no longer did the scent of the sea help to soothe him. It wouldn't be able to help them where they were going.
Nothing is.
Zuko froze when Suki suddenly turned around and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. He opened his mouth in surprise, but made no move to return her embrace. Though he knew perfectly well that Suki cared about Sokka, it still made him feel a little edgy to have the Kyoshi Warrior latched onto him. It had certainly taken him long enough to let Katara hug him!
As quickly as it happened, Suki pulled away again. He could see that her cheeks were puffy with spilt tears and her eyes red, but there was a small smile on her face. Determined to do the right thing, Zuko physically forced himself to look her in the eye.
"Thank you, Zuko." she said softly, the sad smile still upon her face. "I think...I think I know what to say now."
Zuko nodded curtly, still a little startled from her sudden rush of affection.
With that, the Kyoshi Warrior bowed to him and turned towards the doors of the inn. But before she reached for the door handle, she turned back around to look at him, the wind sending her hair cascading around her face and sticking to her wet cheeks.
"Zuko?"
"Yeah?" he asked, still feeling a little foolish. He felt like pounding his head against a brick wall for making such an idiot out of himself.
Sokka's going to kill me.
"Just make sure that you tell her. Tell her something, Zuko. Anything. But...just tell her."
With the smallest of saddened smiles on her face, Suki opened up the doors to the inn and stepped inside, the light from within momentarily lighting up the figure of Prince Zuko, standing on the deck with an open mouth and a heavy heart.
Taking a deep and lengthy breath, Zuko slid open the door, careful not to make too much noise or wake anybody up. After he had spoken with Suki, Zuko had spent a further four hours outside on the balcony, deep in thought. Even when it had begun to rain, Zuko had not moved an inch. When his body began to tremble and his teeth began to chatter, he had simply tried to raise his body temperature and had ignored it. Even when he felt a pair of eyes staring into the back of his head from between the screen doors of the inn, he had ignored it. It was only when he had began to feel his head lolling forward as he sat on his pedestal, that his mind really began to give him exactly what he wanted.
Judging by the position of the moon, Zuko guessed that it was certainly past the early hours. He doubted that there was even four hours of darkness left before the rising of the sun. But he didn't care. He had his answer.
Carefully, he stuck his head around the frame of the door. There, as he expected, was Katara, sprawled happily over the bed. She had obviously tried to stay awake long enough to see him come back inside. She was still fully clothed, with the bed sheets folded neatly underneath her and several candles still burning down slowly, their wicks nearly spent.
Allowing himself the pleasure of a small smile, Zuko walked over towards the bed. As gently as he could, he lifted Katara up into his arms, trying his hardest not to wake her. As he awkwardly pulled back the sheets and placed her back down onto the bed, she stirred, but only for a moment. Gently pulling off her boots and placing them by the bedside, Zuko pulled the covers over the sleeping Water Bender. She sighed happily to herself as she dreampt and Zuko couldn't help but look at her.
She's so beautiful when she sleeps.
Leaning down over her, he brushed back a lock of hair that had fallen into her face and kissed her lightly. Katara stirred again, but sighed happily and sank herself into the plush sheets. Smiling to himself, Zuko pulled off his own boots. But he didn't intend on sleeping - not quite yet. Sitting himself down at the desk in the corner of the room, Zuko picked up his quill.
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, remembering the words that had come to him so fluidly after sitting out for hours in the rain.
'Uncle. Father,
I've been thinking about what I should write for some time now. Perhaps this is a goodbye, perhaps not. I hope that it becomes a promise. If somehow I don't make it back to you after the coming of Sozin's Comet, then I can at least die knowing that I did something right. You told me once that you studied the cultures of the Water Tribe. Do you know the tale of the Black Ice Blade, Uncle? Because I've come to know it quite well, and I finally think I understand...'
Author's Note's : Bit of a filler chapter, I'm afraid, guys. But if I just jumped right into the action, you'd end up getting very confused. Hopefully, it fit the bill. I don't know...to me it just seemed a little - flat. Ah well, not every chapter is going to be action-packed, romantic comedy drama's.
This is the first time in any of my fictions that I have swapped the perspective to a character besides Zuko or Katara. But I thought that poor Aang should get a say in it as well. I mean, everybody's panicking about the coming of the comet and freaking out about whether they're going to come back or not – what makes him any different?
Either way, hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'm going to try and get the next one up a little faster next time.