Back from Germany, still in one piece, and oh gosh the produce choice over there! Why do I live in France? Haha, anyway, sorry for the wait, ta da, chapter 6.

Also, can I just say that the new format for uploading things confused the heck out of me.

PS. Violet apparently generates feelings of romance.

Chapter Six: Sacrifices Great and Small

A computer tucked under the massive screen reveals, in its files, the list of numbers available for an LEP operative to call should he or she find him or herself in need of aid. Artemis calls the 'Operations Booth Assistance Desk', guessing that this meant whatever poor shmuck trainee Foaly had taking calls for him.

'Hello, ah, bunker 25B907. Er... who's speaking please? There's no registered user for that site at this time,' the voice on the other end of the line is uncertain, out of its depth.

'Yes, I realise that. This is Artemis Fowl speaking. Be so good as to put me through to Foaly. Or Commander Kelp. And inform whoever needs to be informed that the People's public enemy number one is on the line, I want to speak to all of them. And be smart about it won't you? I'm rather pressed for time,' Artemis leans back on the hover chair, stretching his legs out and propping them on the console. Lazily, he reaches for a nutri-drink. Public enemy number one? He runs that sentence back through his head, frowning. There has to be better way of phrasing that.

'I... er, I don't know if I have authorization to-'

'Artemis!' Foaly's voice butts in, disconnecting the lab assistant, talking a mile a minute. 'How did you even find that fort, it's a total hole in the wall. And Frond have you got some fast talking to do, they picked Holly up a couple hours ago.'

'Is she alright?'

'Yeah, sure she is, it was just a bit of sun exposure, she's in the hospital recovering as we speak. Though, the fact that, apparently, she's been sleeping with you for the past what, couple months? isn't doing her any favours with the council,' Artemis can hear him bite into a carrot, 'I was worried about her doing something crazy like this one of these days. Of all the – what could she have been thinking? And you ... but I don't trust this line, give me a minute to - oh, never mind, Trouble wants in on this conversation too.'

The screen flickers into life, divided in half, Foaly on the left and Trouble, with several rotund, aging elves, on the right.

'Commander,' Artemis nods slightly, 'and Councilmen, I presume?'

The older elves say nothing, but Trouble returns his nod. 'Is this line secure, Foaly?' he asks.

Foaly taps a few keys, carrot dangling from his mouth, its green top flip flopping as he chews. 'Is now,' he replies around the carrot.

Artemis turns to the councilmen, smiling his vampire smile, 'I have been informed, councillors, that you have become desirous not only of my, let us say, discontinued existence, but that you have plans to penalize Captain Short for actions taken to prevent such an occurrence. Would I be correct in assuming this information true?'

Foaly whinnies, 'Wait, wait, wait a minute. Discontinued existence? Excuse me? Am I missing something here?'

The councillors ignore Foaly, looking Artemis in the eye, 'We are not at liberty to say. However, we may state, unofficially, that your planned release of the Persephone Project, a device constructed almost entirely with stolen faery technology, is viewed as distinct threat to our security, against which we are fully prepared to take all necessary action.'

'I see,' Artemis decides that now is not the time to debate just how 'entirely' constructed with faery technology Persephone really is, though he bristles at the implied slight to his inventive capacities. 'And is there any way that I might allay your need for this 'necessary action', both against myself and Captain Short?'

'Are you offering to make a deal?' the middle councillor raises his eyebrows.

'I am offering whatever it takes to keep her safe and happy and myself alive.'

Foaly gapes, nearly losing what's left of his carrot.

'You do realise what she has done is completely and utterly taboo? She betrayed – the very thought of one of the People engaging in, in.... it's repugnant,' the councilman face is distorted with disgust, and even Trouble looks vaguely ill. 'She deserved and deserves to be punished.'

'And is that why you chose to send her after me?' Artemis sips from the nutri-drink, 'For an innocent accident ten years and a once-close friend? Or were you hoping to drive her,' he chuckles, 'into my arms, as it were, so as to finally be able to accuse her of what you believed she felt?'

Foaly asks once more for elucidation and is once more ignored.

'Nothing of the sort,' but the councillor's eyes slide away for a second. He covers his guilt with bluster, 'That we could have ever believed such a... relationship... to be possible before this is preposterous! No member of the People in their right mind would even for a moment consider – simply friendship is ... The whole thing is beyond imagining,' the elf splutters. Gaining control of himself, he declares, 'Needless to say, she will be ostracised even if we choose not to act against her.'

'Hardly,' Artemis inspects his nails unconcernedly, 'At least, not if you don't tell anyone. You've only just discovered the, mmm, tryst yourselves. And I hardly think that illegal surveillance footage is common knowledge. But it is ironic, don't you think? All of this trouble from a people who pride themselves on how emancipated and liberal minded they are...'

'Every species has its limit,' the middle elf seethes.

Placing a calming hand on his colleague's shoulder, the older, more austere, councillor to the left speaks up, 'If, Master Fowl, you truly are willing to prove your usefulness and good-will to the People, we will perhaps be willing in turn to some sort of agreement regarding the granting of amnesty. For you both.'

'How charitable,' Artemis doesn't hide his sarcasm.

'Don't do yourself any favours there or anything, Artemis,' Foaly pipes up.

The councilmen share a quick, whispered conference and Trouble watches them uneasily before turning back to Artemis, 'Did they really send her to...?' his voice is soft, disbelieving.

Artemis nods.

'They know she could never...'Trouble closes his eyes, visibly pained. 'Oh Holly,' he says.

The eldest of the three approaches the screen once more. 'We have decided,' he smiles, 'to have you do some community work. The LEP have rather a large amount of old case files that need organizing. If you agree we will have an operative pick you up and take you down to the databank, whereupon someone will explain the process to you. You have one night, and one night only, to accomplish this.'

Artemis shrugs as though he found doing basic multiplication more interesting than the dignitary before him. 'If that's what you want.'

'Yes,' the elf replies. 'The shuttle will be there in approximately 17 minutes. Give you good day.'

And half the screen went blank.

Foaly is on his sixth carrot by now. Worry makes him eat. Pulling the vegetable from his mouth he looks Artemis in the eye, 'Alright. Okay. Artemis, what in Frond's name is going on?'

Artemis takes another sip of nutri-drink and clears his throat like a professor before a very, very long lecture.

Chix Verbal is determined to give the human his most frigid cold shoulder. And for the first ten minutes he manages to be, if not glacially aloof, at least quiet. But he's never been one for long awkward silences and half way through the ride back his curiosity gets the better of him.

'So, Fowl, you like, know Holly, yeah?'

'Yes, I know her.'

'Right, uh huh,' Chix fiddles with the dashboard a little. 'Then, I guess you feel pretty bad about kidnapping her now, don't you?'

'It was the best decision I have ever made,' which is, arguably, the truth. And Artemis is not about to tell this ridiculous green, begoggled creature before him that he's been feeling guilty ever since Butler put her body in a bag under that tree, oh so long ago.

Chix doesn't know what to say to that, so he switches gears, 'Sure, yeah, ok, but, I mean, like, since then, weird as it is, you two've gotten pretty close, right? Would you say that you, y'know, know what she likes?'

Artemis frowns, unsure where this conversation is going. 'I would. To a certain extent,' he amends. With Holly, you can never be too sure.

'Right, uh huh,' Chix repeats, chewing his lip. Now for the big one, 'So, then, would you say she'd like me better if I got a dye job?'

Artemis fights valiantly to maintain his composure, 'What, ah, colour did you have in mind?'

'Well, a couple actually, I was hoping you'd have some suggestions. It's just, I know that sometimes elves aren't too partial to the green,' he gestures to his face. 'And why else would she be playing so hard to get?'

'You mean dye your skin?' For the second time in as many hours, Artemis finds himself gaping.

Chix gives him a funny look, 'Duh. What else would I dye?'

'I'm sure I have no idea.'

'Well, then, what do you say? Will she go for it? I was thinking orange, it's really in right now. Or maybe a nice violet.'

The idea of an orange Chix is too painful to even visualize so Artemis hurries to respond, 'Violet. Definitely. Yes, I'm sure she'd love that.'

'Really?' Chix grins, 'Thanks man. Boy is that a weight off my mind.' He reaches over and gives Artemis a jovial thump on the arm. It hurts a lot less than one of Holly's. Artemis wishes briefly that he has chosen a wussier life partner.

'My pleasure,' he tells Chix. He smiles to himself, thinking of Holly's reaction to this particular anecdote. And then he frowns, not wanting to think that he may never get the chance to tell her.