Chapter Seventeen: Dulce Et Decorum Est
1089 days ABG
There's only so much inward reflection I can do before I need a break. Just over four days of space travel was starting to wear on Zara's nerves, as was the ceaseless meditation that her master was urging her to perform; however, she was reluctant to say anything, as tension had taken over the small ship, holding thick and fast in the recycled air. When she wasn't at the helm, all that Kalinda had done was listen to the HNN broadcasts and compare them with the feed from the GAR, which seemed a little redundant to the Padawan. What difference can it make? Surely they get their information from the same sources.
Presently, the two Jedi were seated at the helm and co-pilot's seat, watching the receding stars. After finishing yet another meditation session, Zara was reluctant to speak to anyone, as she was certain that any moment Master Tallis would turn around and tell her to meditate some more. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm bored. She glanced around the common area; Milo was seated at the table, thumbing through a datapad with about as much enthusiasm as she'd felt for meditation. At her approach, the clone glanced up and gave her a friendly smile.
"Finished your session for now, Commander?" Zara glanced at her master, who did not react to his words, then nodded. He seemed to deliberate before pulling out a deck of cards from his belt. "Up for some sabacc?"
"Oh." She paused and looked at Master Tallis again. "I'm not sure if..."
As if on cue, the red-haired Jedi twisted in her seat. "Sabacc?"
Milo nodded as he opened the case and began shuffling the cards; when he spoke his voice was careful. "Would you two like to join us?"
Both Jedi seemed eager enough; Kalinda flipped on the autopilot and stood up, stretching her arms before nudging the other woman. "Come on, Honi. All work and no play..." The Nautolan girl smiled to herself as her master nodded and rose from her seat.
Soon all four of them were seated around the table and Milo was dealing the cards. He cast Zara a look. "Have you played sabacc before, Commander?"
She tried not to glance at her master and nodded; moments later everyone was thumbing through their own hands. Master Tallis sat up and studied her cards with sharp eyes before glancing up at the others. "What are we playing for?"
Kalinda shrugged. "Just for fun, Honi. No need to get competitive."
"Competitive?" Milo asked, glancing at the red-haired Jedi. "Are you a good player, then?"
Zara and Kalinda exchanged glances while Master Tallis gave him an mild look. "Be thankful that this is just for fun, Milo." Her voice was easier than Zara had heard it in some time, and she noticed that the clone seemed to grow a bit flustered, as his face reddened and he looked down at the cards in his hand.
They wound up playing nearly ten rounds, seven of which Master Tallis won, her face set in rigid determination and her expression giving nothing away. She's good. Really good. Me, not so much. Zara lost – badly – but she found that her mind wasn't really on the game, especially when she took to surreptitiously studying the clone trooper. He's nice. They're all so nice. It's odd...you don't think of soldiers as being like regular people, but he's just like any other man right now. She thought of the clone cadets and tried not to feel a pang of longing. I guess I'll never see them again. I hope they'll be okay.
Milo was watching the red-haired Jedi with unconcealed fascination, which Zara and Kalinda did not miss, though neither of them said anything. Finally, as they had just started an eleventh hand, the comm began to chirp. In one swift motion Kalinda was at the station. "Emergency transmission," she said as she activated the message. "Voice-only."
"This is RC-6520 of Teroch Squad, requesting immediate assistance from any Republic forces in the area." The message – along with a comm code – was repeated over and over until Kalinda shut it off and dropped in the pilot's seat to pull the ship out of hyperspace.
Along with her master and Milo, Zara moved to the helm while the dark-haired Jedi reached for the comm to return the message. She entered the code and they waited through the crackling static until she could speak. "This is Republic vessel Wayfarer responding to your signal, RC-6520. We're able to assist you; what is your location?"
Through the static, a familiar clone-voice sounded. "Acknowledged, Wayfarer. We're on the planet Ambria..." He gave a set of coordinates and Milo moved to the navacomputer to enter them while Kalinda frowned into the receiver.
"Do you have injured?"
There was a pause, then a clipped response. "Affirmative, Wayfarer."
"We'll be there within a few hours, RC," she said. "Will you be okay until then?"
"Affirmative." Another pause. "Thank you."
Then silence.
The Jedi exchanged glances before Kalinda looked at Milo. "Not very talkative, are they?"
He was studying the encryption codes, brows knitted. "Not really, but see this? The RCs are an interesting bunch, from what I understand. They've interlaced their transmission with more information – as the emergency channels aren't always secure." He pointed to a series of codes. "Looks like their vessel was shot down by enemies after a mission went awry; they have one dead and one wounded. Out of four."
He looked up at Kalinda; Zara could almost taste her sorrow as she replied, almost to herself. "We'll be there as soon as we can."
"What can you tell me about Ambria, Zara?" Honi's voice was calm even as they approached the sulfur-colored world several hours later. From her place at the helm, Kalinda took a deep breath and tried to ignore the tightening feeling in her stomach as she angled the Wayfarer towards Teroch Squad's location.
The Nautolan girl looked thoughtful. "It's the place where Jedi Master Thon took Nomi Sunrider as his apprentice, as well as the site of a battle between the Sith lords, Darth Bane and Darth Zannah..."
It's also said to be a place ripe with Dark Side energy, Kali thought as she listened to the Padawan. I don't relish the thought of journeying here. But we have to help these men if we can. She cast a look at Milo, who seemed to be as tense as she felt, and he met her eyes. Neither one spoke.
Once the Wayfarer dropped through the atmosphere it was easy to tell where the commandos were located, as there was a massive pillar of smoke rising from the crash-site. Milo leaned forward as they approached. "Looks like they took care of whoever chased them here, at least." Indeed, aside from a smaller Republic vessel that looked to be wrecked beyond repair, there was a droid scout-ship nearby.
The closer they came, Kalinda could make out the remains of dozens of clankers, many of which she didn't recognize. Prototypes of new droids? I suppose I can guess what type of mission they were on, anyway.
A small, gray-armored figure stood amidst the ruins of his ship and waved his hand once as they came in to land; Kali set the Wayfarer down as close as she could without disturbing the area. Moments later they were disembarking and hurrying to meet the commando, who snapped into a salute when he caught sight of their lightsabers. "Generals. Thank you for coming so quickly."
She gestured behind her at Honi, who was surveying the area with her sharp gaze. "Where is your wounded brother? General Tallis is a skilled Healer."
The commando indicated the wreckage of the Republic vessel and she noted another gray-armored figure lying prone on the ground beneath the shelter of the ship, one of his brothers bent over him; she watched as Honi and Zara moved towards the men. Milo remained at her side while she studied the commando who'd greeted them. "Are you okay?"
The question seemed to catch the trooper off guard, as she sensed a flicker of surprise from him even though he replied almost immediately. "Yes, sir. I'm fine."
His unease was palpable and she recalled that most commando squads were usually sent off on their own missions without the presence of a Jedi. Perhaps he just doesn't know what to say. So she gave him a smile and blinked up at the sun behind him, which was starting to sink below the horizon. "What's your name?"
This question was most certainly unexpected, for he visibly started, though after a moment he saluted her again. "I go by Ferro, General...?"
"Ferro. Where are my manners? I'm Kalinda Halcyon and this is Milo; our Healer is Honi Tallis and her Padawan is Zara Karell." She indicated the shelter of their vessel. "Will you tell me what happened, please?" He and Milo followed her to the shadow of the Wayfarer where she glanced around the area. Ambria was a desolate place, filled with gritty, yellowish sand and straggling mountains that seemed choked by a distant haze. Through the dense cloud cover the sun was tinted blood-red as it neared the horizon, and the wind was picking up enough to lift the edges of her tunic.
Ferro paused, then nodded. "General Halcyon. We were investigating the potential development of an experimental new droid when our cover was compromised; we evac'd the area but were pursued by enemy forces who fired on our vessel. Our pilot, Welt, was killed in the attack, and our ship crashed here. The seps pursued but we were able to eliminate them." He straightened and leveled the blank gaze of his blue-visored helmet onto her.
While he spoke, Kalinda took a moment to get a sense of the clone through the Force, as much as she could without actually peeking into his mind. I've never met a commando before. He feels younger than even Milo. But aside from that she didn't sense anything so much as curiosity, respect, and a lingering sorrow. One brother dead, another injured. It never gets easier, does it?
Beside her, Milo shifted and indicated the remains of the droids. "Nice job." Ferro glanced at him but only made a swift nod in reply.
Kali tried to give him a reassuring smile. "He's right, Ferro. Though I'm sorry you lost a brother." She lifted her comm. "Zara? How's it going?"
"Kalinda...please come here," Honi's voice sounded in place of her Padawan and Kali frowned; a glance at Milo and Ferro was all that was needed to let them know that they should follow her. When she approached, she knew immediately that the news was not good. Murmuring to Zara, Honi rose and stepped to Kalinda, pulling her away from the others. "In addition to a collapsed lung and three broken ribs, he has severe internal hemorrhaging and has already lost a dangerous amount of blood."
Kali nodded, pitching her voice low. "What can we do?"
"Nothing." Honi's tone was quiet. Kalinda opened her mouth to object but the red-haired woman shook her head. "If I had a bacta tank right now, he might be able to recover, but we're days away from anything like that. His injuries are too serious...I'm not sure he'll survive the next few hours." She paused and her expression grew shadowed.
Another one lost. Kalinda felt her throat tightening even as she looked back at the prone trooper. Her eyes closed briefly before she nodded. "Please keep trying, Honi. I'll speak to the others." She watched as her former Padawan moved back to the injured man; moments later Milo, who had removed his bucket to kneel beside Honi, was speaking to her in a soft voice.
Kali took a deep breath and looked at the commando, who had risen to approach her. "Ferro."
"General...you don't have to say anything." He radiated sorrow for all that his voice was neutral. "I know enough."
She placed a hand on his vambrace; the commando armor was different from that of most other clones, bulkier and darker, but beneath it was a man just like any other and she felt a massive stab of remorse for his fallen brother. "What is his name?"
"Exer."
The tone of his voice...it reminds me of Stonewall when he talks about the brothers he's lost. Swallowing her sorrow, Kali nodded and moved back to Honi. "Zara, would you please go to the Wayfarer and bring some spare blankets? I want to make Exer as comfortable as we can." She watched as the Padawan scurried off, then looked at the other commando who had risen to stand beside Ferro while Honi worked over the fallen clone. "What's your name?"
His head tilted and she got the impression that he was speaking with Ferro over their secure comms, though he answered her within a moment. "Archer, General Halcyon, sir." The wind was growing more persistent and the sun was brushing the horizon; soon it would be dark.
"Milo...do you think you could find any fuel for a fire? We have those emergency starters, I think, but a fire might be nice." I don't want to be stuck inside that ship right now, and I don't think anyone else does, either.
The younger clone nodded and glanced around. "I think I noticed some dried vegetation that should work as well. It won't be a bonfire, but it'll keep the chill of the wind out." He sprinted for the Wayfarer as she looked at the commandos.
"Archer, Ferro: we're going to do what we can for your brother, but we may not be successful."
"Understood, General." Ferro gave her a nod, but Archer was silent.
It was in that moment she heard Honi speak her name again; Kalinda felt the injured clone's presence in the Force fade from a whisper to nothing at all and heat pricked at her eyes. Honi stood up and brushed off her tunic, her expression neutral while Kali and the commandos moved to Exer's body. She knelt beside him, and put her hand on his chest over his heart.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la." Not gone, merely marching far away.
There was silence for a few moments before the commandos looked at one another. "You know Mando'a, General Halcyon?" Archer sounded nonplussed.
Kali nodded, standing up after a pause. "I asked my squad to teach me. I'm not sure what you want to do with his body."
"We'll take care of it, sir," Ferro replied, glancing at his brother before looking back at her. "And...thank you." He sounded unsure and – she thought again – very young.
Several hours later they were seated around the beginnings of a flickering fire; Milo and the commandos had pooled some rations and the group had eaten in silence. Afterward, the clones had all removed their helmets and the two commandos were gazing at the flames.
They look different to me now, Kali thought. Each of them is so unique...I can tell them apart as easily as if they had different faces. But I can still see the similarities in their mannerisms. She studied Ferro without seeming to, noting again how the younger man reminded her of Stone in more ways than one. He's so thoughtful, with an edge of honesty and humility that I hope will never be shaken.
A glance behind them showed Exer's body, covered and still, and she sighed as she tried to hold back the bite of remorse. What has the cost of this war been? Can any of us even reckon it? She cleared her throat, which caused the clones to look up. "What will you do, now?"
"Our mission-plan calls for us to return to Coruscant, General," Ferro replied. Kalinda had figured out that he was the de-facto leader of the group, though it seemed pointless now, as there were just the two of them left. "When we do, we'll most likely be absorbed into another squad and sent on a new mission."
"What if the war is over by the time you get back?" Zara's voice was quiet and the commando looked at her as if he'd only just remembered that she was there.
Archer shifted in his seat. "It won't be." His voice was dark.
"Why is that?" Honi asked. "Surely the death of Count Dooku indicates that an end is in sight." She sounded confident and assured. Milo watched her and Kali noticed how he nodded at her words.
But Ferro looked thoughtful, the expression reminding Kalinda so much of Stonewall that she had to move her eyes away from him to the fire. "Something as big as this war can't be over so quickly, General. And even if it officially ends tomorrow, there will still be much work to do. Clean-up, as it were."
Seemingly unconvinced, Honi frowned. "Perhaps. But I hope that the brunt of the fighting is behind us. This war is an utter waste of life." She looked down at her hands and flexed them over the fire as if to warm her skin.
A gust of wind tugged at the flames and Milo leaned forward to stir the forming coals before looking at the commandos. "Nice kit. Katarn armor, right?"
Ferro and Archer exchanged amused looks and the former nodded, unfastening one of his gauntlets and passing it to the other clone. "Verpine and EMP resistant; reinforced duraplast plating, not to mention..." He lifted his other hand and flicked his wrist to reveal a retractable vibroblade. Zara's eyes widened but she remained silent, seated between the other Jedi.
"Comes in handy, I suppose," Milo replied, examining the gauntlet a moment more before passing it back to Ferro. "Remember the time that Weave tried to make one of those?"
At this, he and Kali shared a look and she chuckled. "I don't think I could forget Crest nearly slitting his own wrist." That was an experience I could have lived without.
Archer lifted a brow at Milo. "Others in your unit?"
"Squad-mates," Milo replied, nodding to Kalinda. "We've been working with General Halcyon for about two years now. Well," he amended. "I'm leaving, but the others are sticking around." He shot Kali an almost guilty look and she shook her head.
"You deserve your promotion, Mi. But I will miss having you around." She noted that the gaze of the commandos flicked between herself and Milo, for all that they remained silent.
Finally, after exchanging glances with his fellow soldier, Ferro regarded her. "You're the General Halcyon of Shadow Squad, sir?"
Even in the middle of nowhere the gossip follows me. Kali tried to hold back her annoyance with a light smile. "Don't tell me I have a reputation..."
"No, sir," Ferro replied, shaking his head and looking slightly embarrassed. "It's just...we looked you up when we had a moment." He raised a brow at her and looked between the Jedi and Milo. "I heard about that business on Florrum. It sounded exciting." The bare beginning of a smile ghosted his face.
She laughed outright. "Pirates, spice and invisible droids. 'Exciting' is one word for it, I guess." Milo shot her a grin and they reminisced for a few more minutes.
"You mixed the ale and the spice?" Archer said, tilting his head.
Milo nodded. "Yep. Created a kind of glowy-sticky mess that coated the droids and made them less invisible."
"And made everyone stink like a cantina, I'll bet," Honi added, wrinkling her nose.
Milo regarded her. "There are worse things."
At that moment Zara let out a yawn and her master glanced at her before looking back at Kalinda, who nodded. "I think that's the signal for bed, Zar."
"I'm not tired, Master..." Zara's credibility was shattered with another yawn and Milo grinned even as Honi shook her head.
"Come on," the red-haired Jedi said, getting to her feet. "I could use some rest as well." Indeed, her eyes were shadowed and Kali realized how much of herself Honi had given in her attempts to heal the fallen commando.
She always puts everything she has into her work. I hope she can transfer her determination to Zara – without the attitude. Kalinda smiled at them. "Rest well, both of you."
"Good night, Commander," Milo added. "Goodnight, General Tallis." Kali thought that they might have exchanged a deeper look, but it could very well have been the firelight playing tricks on her.
As the others made their way towards the Wayfarer, she looked back at the commandos. "Is your ship functional at all?"
"Engines are shot," Archer answered. "The comm's pretty much the only thing that still works."
She nodded. "We're going to Coruscant as well, so we can take you with us." She smiled at them and Ferro returned the expression with a little less hesitation this time, though his reply was still formal.
"As you say, General." A few minutes passed before he nodded to Archer and they stood up. "If that's the case, we'll need to salvage a few things from our vessel." Their armor glinted as they stepped away from the circle of light cast by the fire.
Milo watched them, allowing unconcealed fascination to become evident on his face. "Commandos. Never thought I'd get to meet any." He looked at Kalinda, who smiled at him. "They're on a whole other level from us regular clones."
"I've heard that," she replied. "But you know, to me you and your brothers are all on your own 'level.'"
Well, you're not exactly a 'regular' Jedi, are you? He nodded. "To everyone else, they're some of the best around...did you see that kit? I'd love a DC-17m at my side..."
This made her laugh out loud. "Now that all looks the same to me."
He very nearly launched into a detailed dissection of the differences and similarities between his armor and that of the commandos, but decided against it, as there were other things on his mind. Of course, the moment his expression changed she was aware that something was going on, but in her fashion she said nothing to him at first, waiting for him to speak. Finally he sighed and met her dark eyes. "I know it's stupid, but..."
Kalinda gave him a kind, but sort of sad smile. "I know, Mi. Honi." She glanced in the direction of their ship. "I wish I could tell you something that you would want to hear, but I'm afraid I'm all out of platitudes when it comes to that girl."
Looking down at his deece where it rested beside him, Milo nodded. "I know...I mean, I realize that it's not possible, but I can't help it. She's..." He trailed off and sighed, a mixture of desire and frustration. "I don't know how the captain ever managed it."
At this the Jedi tilted her head to him. "Managed what?"
"To..." He frowned and poked at the fire while he considered. How can I put this without sounding like an utter di'kut? "Romance you." Even as he said the word it sounded foolish in his ears and he grimaced again. "Wow, forget I said that."
Lips pursed, head down, it was clear that the Jedi was trying not to chuckle, which he appreciated even though he knew that his words had been silly; after a moment she managed to meet his eyes. "I have no doubt that any of you could find happiness given the opportunity. What's between Stone and I..." Her expression softened. "Well, I hope that you'll experience something similar, one day. You deserve every bit of happiness you can get, Milo."
It was perhaps the kindest thing that anyone had ever said to him, but his reply was halted by the quietly insistent chirruping of his comm. While Kalinda watched, Milo raised his wrist, lifting his brows at the flickering blue figure that emerged from the darkness. The next words were distorted by the gentle cracking of the fire.
"Execute Order 66."
As Kalinda was tilting her head, the inevitable question on the tip of her tongue, Milo looked up. His heart started hammering within the cavity of his chest as he debated for what felt like a very long moment, but he soon realized – with absolute certainty – what he was going to do. What he had no choice but to do.
Even as she said his name, he lifted his deece and started firing.
The chapter title comes from a poem by Wilifred Owen; the entire quote is "dulce et decorum est, pro patria mori," which translates to "it is sweet and honorable to die for one's country." It's a phenomenal poem about WWI which seemed fitting - not only for this chapter - but for the Clone Wars as a whole. HIGHLY recommended reading. A later chapter will have another quote from this poem, just fyi.
Also, if you haven't heard, Season Four starts September 16th! :D