Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
xxx
It was over a year after Quinn had given birth to Beth, the daughter she had with Puck. The daughter who was conceived through Quinn's betrayal. The conception that led to Rachel's first heartbreak. The heartbreak she never thought would have lasting effect on her. An effect that resulted on her singing this song during their prom night. The prom which Quinn had always looked forward to.
I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
She told herself, long before this night, that she should not look at her. The battle scars she suffered because of loving her had not completely mended yet. In fact, she was sure they were still fresh judging by the pain that seemed to refuse to go away. But as soon as she sang the first note, she found herself searching for the blonde girl in the blue dress. When brown orbs had successfully sought the girl, hazel eyes were already locked on hers. They were equally pained just like every day that had passed since the revelation in the brunette's room.
I learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time
She had the perfect background story for this song to tell the whole population of McKinley. Her peers thought that she was still hung up on the boy holding the girl who always held her heart. Nobody would be clued in to the true story behind her heart-felt rendition. It was like she herself had written the song. Eyes were trained on her, pity radiating on every single pair of them. But she could not care less. She saw an opportunity to unveil the emotions she had kept hidden for so long now. Not even the object of her affection knew of her sufferings. Not until now.
Who do you think you are?
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?
She had enough. They were doing fine. Fine meaning living their own separate lives, just like what she had decided that fateful day. She swore the blonde would suffer just as much, if not worse, as she suffered. Only a day had passed when she follow through her promise. She went after the quarterback, shoving the sickening feeling she felt for the boy. She pursued him with all she had. Well, she also made a detour and had a minor change of heart running after the man-whore who impregnated the blonde. But she was nothing but determined. She would crush her like she was crushed. It was not a secret that the other girl had this obsession with being the most popular, most envied and head bitch in charge of the school. She knew the girl needed to have the most popular boy clinging on her arm. And as long as Finn Hudson remains to be that kind of guy, she would run after him.
I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
Jesse St. James. The name of the boy she could have fallen head over in heels in love with were it not for the fact that her heart no longer belonged to her. It had not been hers for a long a time. She continually convinced herself that she had successfully taken her heart back from her as the latter obviously did not deserve it. But who was she kidding? There was no denying the girl still had it with her, clutching and simultaneously breaking it into pieces. But now, Jesse had come back, asking for another chance. The rumor spread life a forest fire and, ultimately, leading the heartbreaker to come knocking at her door and demanding to know the truth. She quickly dismissed her. Who does she think she is? How dare the girl act like she still owns her and her heart? But she did still own it.
I learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time
And now, it seemed she had no control of her own mind. She could not tear her eyes from the couple who were both stealing glances her way but her eyes were only for one of them. It was at this moment she realized that not only was she making eye contact with her but was also sending her the message she did not even know she was ready for. She had resolved to herself that she would make her suffer but what was she doing now? The message was clear. She was hurting. She was still hurting.
Who do you think you are?
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?
The girl pleaded with her. She was even on bended knees last night, asking for the second chance she had foregone because admittedly she was in the wrong. The wounded girl tried not to show how broken she was but to no avail. There they both were, crying their eyes out. Two broken souls seeking for reprieve they had long been hoping for. One was begging for pardon and forgiveness while the other was shouting at the high heavens to give her strength for courage slowly slipping away from her.
It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back
She was her first love. She was many of her firsts. She was the one she could never turn back to. She was the one reason she was so broken. She was the one who could put the pieces back together. She was the one she refused to let in her life again. She was the only one who held the key to her. She was the one who held that part of her she could not give to anybody else. She was the one she needed. And so now she asked:
Who do you think you are?
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
The girl surely was not born to quit. As she was clinging to her prom king, she made the discreet sign telling the singer how she really felt. She did not want to be in these arms. She wanted to respect the punishment that was imposed against her. She let the other girl hurt her even though in the eyes of the whole school she was the bully, she was the heartless one. Maybe she was. But she was not. She loved truly once and still was loving just as much, if not greater. Despite the punishment, she had done everything the girl would ask of her, no matter how painful they were and how she knew that such requests were specifically made to hurt her. But she could not give up. Not now. Not ever. She knew she deserved the wrath and the vengeance thrown her way. But she just had to try. She had to aim for it and pray that someday that pardon would be given to her.
Who do you think you are?
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
She saw the pain in the hazel eyes. She fought to herself not to recognize it but she still did. And it broke her more.
Who do you think you are?
How can she still feel something in her break when she was led to believe and had let herself believe that she no longer had the necessary equipment to feel anything? Especially for this one person. How?
Who do you think you are?
But she felt it. She finally allowed herself to feel it. And surprisingly, after over a year, she felt the shattered pieces of her healing and starting to un-break. She felt it, the long-missed feeling of being whole again. She felt it through those hazel eyes which had instantly recognized the change in her. And the pain emanating from those gorgeous eyes likewise vanished. She felt it.
Who do you think you are?