Chapter Nineteen: Not With A Bang

1089 days ABG

"Milo?"

Even as she said his name Kali felt the oddest sensation through her armor on the side of her left knee: a faint sear of heat that bloomed into a churning flame. Her mouth opened but no sound came out as she collapsed forward; above her, Milo kept firing at some distant point beyond them, and she could see that his face was blank and determined even as her vision was starting to swirl from the pain. All she could do was watch as he fired his deece again and again with his trademark accuracy, and as she tried to scramble to her feet she felt the shock of the commandos' injuries in the Force.

And then there was another emotion, young and raw and angry. A bolt of blue plasma leaped for Milo while he paused to adjust his aim a fraction of an inch; she heard his yelp of pain, watched the scorch-mark appear on his armored chest even as he fired one last time, felt the ground tremble when he collapsed beside her.

"Milo!"

Abruptly, everything was still, save for the wind that gently lifted the edges of her hair and the furious, desperate lash of her heartbeat against her ribs as she made her way to him. There was pain, so much pain – she could feel it now, not just inside her body but all around her, as if every molecule in the air was shrieking in agony and betrayal – but all she could see were Milo's eyes as he tracked her progress. For some reason her knee wasn't working, so she had to crawl towards him in the yellow dust and through the ashes of the fire that had blown out, encasing them in sudden darkness.

"Milo..."

She put her hands on his face and tried to send him a measure of calm, but it was impossible next to the terror and loss that she felt all around them.

"I'm sorry, Kalinda," he said at last. His voice was steady and his eyes on her were clear even though part of her brain realized that she was weeping. "I couldn't stop him in time."

"What happened?" It was all she could think to say. Kali was dimly aware of Honi and Zara's frantic approach but she could look at no one but the young man before her.

His eyes closed then opened in a long blink, even the small movement slow and halting. "Order 66...if the Jedi attempt to harm the Republic, we're to kill them. Direct from the Chancellor himself." She could tell that it was costing him a great deal of effort to speak so she shook her head.

"Never mind, Mi. We'll sort that out later...Honi?"

"Master...your knee." The red-haired woman and her Padawan were beside her now but Kali shook her head again.

"Later, Honi...Milo..."

But he had not stopped looking at her, and reached forward to put a hand on her arm. "The others...they will kill you, Kalinda. They will follow orders." His eyes flicked behind them and the three Jedi turned to see two commandos lying in the sulfur-colored dust of Ambria, their chests lifting and falling despite the blaster-wounds they each wore; they looked unconscious, but she couldn't feel anything from the Force.

Milo...you shot your own brothers. Kali shook her head again and gritted her teeth. "Honi, he needs your help." Her former Padawan knelt beside Milo and placed a hand on his cheek. She closed her eyes and concentrated. Kali watched his face change from a look of pain and fear to one of peace. After a moment Honi looked at the dark-haired Jedi.

"There's nothing I can do, Kalinda." Her voice was tight and quiet. Zara made a sobbing sound but seemed to swallow it down and Kali reached for Milo's hand, gripping it as hard as she was able, as if it would make any difference.

But he spoke before she could, his eyes on hers were steady and unafraid. "Thank you, Kali." He gave her a small smile. "For everything."

And he was gone.

Zara knew that it was over but she couldn't help reaching through the Force anyway, hoping by some small miracle that the clone's life would not be extinguished. But he really is gone. Poor Milo. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment before opening them and looking at her master, who was sitting back on her knees and studying Milo with a blank expression. It was silent for what seemed like hours before Kalinda closed her eyes, seeming to reach within herself to tug on some nameless source of calm that Zara had never seen before.

When she opened her eyes again, her voice was quiet. "We need to secure the others," she said even as she tried to push herself up off the ground, her arms and face coated with ash and dust. "They won't be unconscious forever, and I don't want to take any chances right now."

Master Tallis got to her own feet and stepped over to the other Jedi, giving her hand so that Kalinda could rise. Several fumbling moments later the dark-haired Jedi was seated beside the ashes of the fire and her former Padawan was bending to examine her knee.

But Kalinda was firm. "Honi. The commandos."

"Your injury..."

"Will be fine for a few more minutes," Kalinda said. "Zara, go with her and be careful. Make sure they don't have any weapons or communications devices – take their helmets and gauntlets as well." Zara could see the tightness of her Master's jaw at these words but she nodded after a moment before turning and beckoning to Zara.

They crossed the gritty sand that crunched beneath their boots and made their way to the site of the fallen clones, whom Zara could still sense in the Force, though their energy was weak and the Force itself was muddied.

As much as she wanted to keep quiet, she could not hold her thoughts in check. "Master...what's going on? Why would they do such a thing?"

Again, the red-haired Jedi's face tightened but she shook her head. "I don't know, Zara. I didn't sense anything malicious from them, or Milo." Zara might have been mistaken, but she thought that her master's voice broke on his name. When they reached the commandos Zara noted how their armor was marked with carbon-scouring and she realized that Milo had managed to hit each of them at the soft patch of black body-suit that was between the shoulders and torso. Both sides. He was a good shot.

"Zara." Her master's voice brought her back to the moment and the Nautolan girl crouched beside her, watching as Honi – I wonder if she'd mind if I called her by her name? – began to unload the first soldier's weapons before dragging him to the ship, leaning him against the side. Archer's helmet had fallen to the ground so Zara bent to retrieve it, going to the other one – Ferro – and doing the same thing.

In addition to the other shots he'd taken, Ferro had been hit in the chest. She could see his eyelids starting to flutter already so she used the Force to pull his weapons from him and tossed them far beyond their position. "Master...Ferro's waking."

Honi was beside her in an instant, her face drawn in concentration as she placed a hand on his cheek. His eyes opened once, briefly, before closing again; his body slumped and the rise and fall of his chest was easy. "Neither one will wake for some time, now. They're wounded, but they'll both live," she said in a bitter voice. "Another virtue of the Katarn armor, I suppose."

"I think this is everything," Zara replied. A moment later they rose in unison. As they walked Zara tried to brush off the remaining dirt from her pants; the air was even cooler now, but the breeze was almost easy. There was no moon but the stars were brilliant and she again noted how the Force was eluding her. A glance at Honi revealed nothing about the other Jedi's perspective on the matter. "Master...I can't feel the Force...not well, at least."

"Neither can I. It's this planet..." Honi frowned and looked at her; suddenly she paused and pressed her hands to Zara's shoulders, her pale face close and earnest. "Zara...I don't need the Force to know that something is very wrong right now. I have a feeling that we are about to be tested, so you must be strong. Stronger than you've ever been."

Zara swallowed. The other Jedi's fear was acrid for all that she wast trying to set it aside. She's scared too? I thought nothing got to her. "I won't let you down."

There was a moment of silence before Honi nodded and straightened, stepping forward again. When she spoke, it was almost to herself. "I know."

For a long time, all that Kali was aware of was Milo because it was easier to dwell on her fallen brother than to consider the larger, more pressing issues that had cropped up with such alarming speed. Gradually, though, she was able to think again. Why did the Chancellor issue such an order to the army? The Jedi...harm the Republic? I can't believe it. Her breath hitched as she attempted to sit upright.

The only thing I'm certain of is that we must be very, very careful.

The pain in her left knee was almost blinding but it gave her something else to focus on besides the yawning chasm in her heart – it had gone from a blistering, scattered feeling of fear and confusion to nothing – and she realized with a start that it must be the deaths of thousands of Jedi. It was a surreal, almost incomprehensible thought.

She shivered and looked at the stars. Maybe I should be thankful that I can't feel much here on Ambria but the dark side. It must be beyond devastating. Naturally her thoughts turned to the others: Yoda, Mace, Luminara, Anakin, Ahsoka, Kit...Obi-Wan. Though she figured it was a futile effort she tried to reach him through the Force, but there was only the blank silence that choked around her, threatening strangulation. Nothing. No one. The air was growing cooler and she shivered again and wrapped her hands around her sides as her emotions threatened to overwhelm her.

Already she could hear Honi and Zara returning, so even as she felt her throat grow tight with an impending sob, she pushed the feelings away. I can't afford to become lost in grief now. So much depends on me staying strong. Later. I'll deal with it later. All that matters is right now. But beneath the surface of everything that she was, Kali's heart was filled with an ache of loss that cut so deep, she thought she should have collapsed into a thousand pieces, nothing more than a pile of ash that could be scattered on the wind.

And then she thought of Stone; his almost-golden eyes swam before hers and she found the knot in her chest unravel, just a little bit. He's alive, safe on the Chu'unthor. I know that he and the others won't cause harm to Master Altis or any of the Jedi there, and I'll find my way back to him, no matter what. The knowledge grounded her and she found herself able to breathe even as the others returned to her side.

Honi was all business as she instructed Kali to stretch out her left leg; the dark-haired Jedi tried not to wince at the sudden inhalation that Zara made at the sight of her knee. "It's bad, isn't it?" Oddly enough it didn't hurt at the moment, though she suspected it was due to the adrenaline that was coursing through her veins.

"I've seen worse," was Honi's clipped reply as there was a moment of cool air hitting her leg, then the gentle touch of the Force. "You never do anything half-assed, do you, Master?"

Zara's shock was tangible and Kali managed a weak chuckle despite everything. "Mind your language, Honi. There are ladies present." Honi made no reply as she worked and Kali looked at Zara, all trace of levity gone from her voice with her next words. "What of Ferro and Archer?"

"Unconscious for now," the blue-skinned girl replied. "We removed their weapons and comms as you said."

Her tone was wavering and Kalinda hurried to continue in order to keep the girl's focus in the present. "Good. When they wake up, I want to question them...right now what we need most of all is information. We need to know what's going on." She felt pain flare in her knee and shifted for a moment before growing still at a warning look from her former apprentice. Taking a deep breath, Kali continued. "After we learn more about...the situation, we can make a plan from there."

"What about Milo?" Zara's voice was quiet.

Kali felt her eyes prick but held her sorrow in check. I can grieve later. Now I must be strong. "I don't know, Zara," she admitted. "I said some words..." She looked at his body; she'd closed his eyes and laid him flat as best she could, given her own incapacity, and he appeared to be sleeping. Milo. I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to lay down your life for me. I don't know if I could ever repay that debt.

That thought was enough to silence her until Honi exhaled and sat back, rubbing her forehead; when she drew her hand back, some of Kali's blood was on her skin. "That's all I can do right now without passing out, Master."

"Please, Honi...just 'Kalinda.' And thank you." Kali looked at her knee, noting how Honi had wrapped it with supplies from Milo's medipac: nothing much, just a bacta patch and some bandages, but it was enough. At any rate the sharpest edge of the pain was dulled. She took a deep breath and looked at the two younger women before her. "Like I said, we need information. Zara: I want you to go to the Wayfarer and see what you can learn...don't call anyone just yet, but you should tune into any distress frequencies or the HoloNet." She watched as Zara nodded and made to rush to the ship.

"And us?" Honi's voice was quiet as she met Kali's gaze.

The dark-haired Jedi sighed and held out her hand; Honi pulled her to her feet and Kalinda pointed towards the commandos. "We need answers."

"They tried to kill you, Kalinda. In cold blood."

Kali shut her eyes and shook her head. "If it was an order, they couldn't refuse it, Honi." Not every clone can be expected to act as independently as Mi or the others.

Her former Padawan's eyes narrowed as she looked at Milo's body. "He did."

Milo. "That's different. He is – was – family to me." She exhaled and tightened her jaw. "There will be time for debate later. Now we have to act." The red-haired Jedi offered her shoulder as Kali leaned against her. It hurt to walk and for several minutes all she could manage was an ungraceful hobble but gradually she began to gather the Force around her – as best she could, given the hostile energies that permeated the planet – hoping to further deaden the pain. It worked, but she could feel the effort was sapping her more than it should have as they stumbled across the gritty sand.

We have to leave here as soon as we can, for a number of reasons. She pictured Stonewall and the others – Weave, Traxis, Crest, and the boys – and took a breath. We must get back to them.

As Zara had said, Ferro and Archer were unconscious, leaning upright against the bulkhead of their ship. Without their buckets they looked like regular men, younger than Stonewall or the rest of her squad, but brothers all the same. She noted that their hands were resting loose at their sides. "Will you see if they have cuffs in their kits? I don't want to take any chances."

Honi helped Kalinda sit on a nearby piece of bulkhead before searching the clones; moments later she was binding their hands with two sets of duranium cuffs. "Their injuries are not life-threatening," the red-haired Jedi said as she returned to Kali's side. "But it seems that between the two, Ferro is in better shape."

"He also seemed to be the one in charge. Let's just worry about him right now. Can you...?"

Kali felt the other woman's gentle push of the Force against the clone's mind and watched his eyes snap open, locking onto her; as he did so his jaw tightened and he raised his chin, but he was silent. She got the sense that he was preparing himself for something. The Jedi exchanged glances, Honi's gaze seeming to say, what are you waiting for? Taking a deep breath, Kali looked at him again.

But before she could speak he shook his head. "Ferro, Commando, Teroch Squad, number RC-6520." His voice was cold and neutral.

Kalinda shifted forward, wincing as she did so, and put a hand on his lower arm, noting as he flinched at her touch. "Please, Ferro. I just want to know what's going on. Milo said that the order was to exterminate all Jedi because they're a harm to the Republic. Is that true?"

"Ferro, Commando, Teroch Squad, number RC-6520."

Honi sighed. "This isn't working. He's not going to tell you anything."

As Kalinda studied him, she realized that he was doing the same to her. This could be Stonewall, or Crest, or any of them. There must be a way for me to get through to him. Her knee was starting to throb but she ignored it as she regarded the clone, who – after several minutes of her scrutiny – seemed to grow visibly uneasy. He's frightened of me and Honi. What does he think we're going to do? This thought made her blink while she leaned back and considered.

Finally she lifted her hand and tried to make her voice as gentle as she could, despite the fact that the language of Mando'a was by its nature guttural and rough. "Udesii, Ferro," she said. Take it easy. "We don't want to hurt you. Please try to understand that."

Again, he shook his head. However, after a moment he lifted his eyes to her. "Kalinda Halcyon: Jedi Knight. Commanding officer of 'Shadow Squad,' 7th Sky Corps. Rumored romantic connections with Jedi High General, Obi-Wan Kenobi as well as command unit CC-3077. Female. Height: one point six meters. Age: mid thirties. Childhood injury in left knee." When he finished his speech he held her gaze.

For a moment she was speechless. It was chilling to hear her entire person laid bare in such simple terms, particularly her injury – even more particularly the private aspects of her life that she'd thought were just being spread as idle gossip – and the realization that she was a statistic in a GAR database was a slap in the face. I guess the Jedi are no different from the clones in that regard. As disturbing as it is, I suppose it's the wisest course to know your commanding officer's weakness as it is to exploit those of your enemy. Knowledge is power, as usual.

"Thorough, aren't they?" Honi muttered beside her. Kali shot her a glare and the red-haired woman shrugged.

Looking back at the clone, Kali pushed aside her own feelings and nodded to him, keeping her voice as calm as possible. "That's me in a nutshell, I guess, but we both know there's more to a life than a few short phrases, Ferro. For instance, I know that you and your brothers can eat more than an outsider would ever imagine, and that you have a taste for sweet things, particularly uj-cake. I don't care for it, myself, but I can understand the appeal."

His eyes narrowed at this – she hoped as an indication of consideration rather than distrust – and she continued. "Lightning and storms bother you because they remind you of Kamino. I've been there, and I can understand; it's a frightening place in many ways. The sound of the rain never stops, even in your dreams." Kali took a breath before she continued, knowing that he would remember every single word she spoke with perfect accuracy, and hoping that something was making it through the part of him that wanted only to carry out his order.

"The times spent with your brothers are the best of any day, and you cannot explain the grief you feel when they pass, but you carry on anyway. You act as though you are not afraid of anything, because that's the only way to fulfill your missions, but you feel fear every time you open your eyes, every time you take a breath. It never goes away, and you think it never will."

Ferro's eyes were wide and she could see that his breath was growing short, but she kept talking. "From your earliest memory you were given a number, and for a long time that was your only identity. But one day something changed, and you found a name and added it to who – not what, but who – you are." She gave him a small smile. "That was a good day, Ferro. A good change. But there is always going to be change...as long as you're alive."

"And how long might that be?" They were the first true words he'd spoken to her, not orders or stats recited from memory and the quiet tone of his voice made her heart clench with sorrow.

"If I had my way, a very long time." Another breath helped her relax and she tried to keep her words gentle. "You are more than what you've always been told, Ferro. So much more. I want you to understand that you have a choice, always. Please tell me what you know."

For a long moment they looked at each other, then he shook his head again. "Ferro, Commando, Teroch Squad, number RC-6520." His eyes on hers were conflicted, but his tone was firm and she realized that those words were all he was going to say to her anymore.

She sighed and looked at Honi, who moved to kneel before him again. Moments later Ferro was asleep and her former Padawan was helping her to her feet. After she made sure that Archer was still unconscious, she nodded to Honi. "Let's check on Zara."

As soon as she set foot on board the Wayfarer, the first thing Zara noticed was that the comm was chirping. A few strides took her to the console, where she activated the incoming emergency transmission. Initially there was only a mild hissing, laced with static – interference from the planet's atmosphere, she supposed – but as she was about to shut off the device, the Padawan heard a familiar sound: the cadence was one that all Jedi were taught during their earliest days. It was a coded message, encrypted along secure channels that only a Jedi would have access to, emanating from a beacon deep within the core of the Temple.

It was a call to return home.

At first she frowned at the console beneath her hand, wondering if perhaps she'd gotten her codes mixed-up somehow, but the icy fist of dread that had clenched within her gut told her otherwise. She thought of the commandos that had attempted to murder Kalinda and shivered. Milo said they got orders to kill all of the Jedi because of an uprising? A Jedi rebellion? And now we're supposed to go home? That doesn't make any sense. She shut off the comm and shook her head as if to clear it, her lekku swaying with the motion, then turned her attention to other matters.

Sliding into the seat at the co-pilot's station, Zara frowned again as she scrolled through the latest feed from the HoloNet. Sports...business...life...weather...Her eyes narrowed. No 'Jedi Watch?' That's odd; and there's no mention of the war at all, either. The order just happened...I wonder if it's too soon? The broadcast was full of useless information and she shut it off with a sigh, leaning back in the chair and looking out into the Ambrian night.

The moment that she stopped focusing on other things, the terror began creeping back into her mind. What's going on? What's happening? Why did those clones shoot Kalinda? Her heart began to race but she shook her head, recalling her master's words. No. I can't give in to fear now. There must be something else I can do. She frowned at the console for a moment more before accessing the GAR database. Maybe I can learn something real here. What she saw made her skin grow cold.

It was a list of Jedi.

Of deceased Jedi.

Hands shaking, she scrolled through the names, many of which she recognized and many more she did not, but it didn't matter. There were so many and she could see more names appearing each time the screen refreshed. Zara bit back a sob and began to search through the network for more information. After a few moments she was able to uncover what appeared to be a transcription of an emergency meeting of the Senate and the more she read, the more numb she felt. I have to tell Master Tallis and Kalinda. As she was rising from the chair, she noticed the other women outside, heading in her direction.

Zara ran to meet them; one look at her master was all that was needed before the Jedi exchanged glances and followed the Nautolan girl to the Wayfarer, where Kalinda sat at the helm and Zara showed them the list of their fallen Jedi. However, rather than a transcription, she was able to pull up a recorded speech from the Senate. The three Jedi listened in mute horror as the Chancellor's words echoed within the cabin of their ship.

"The Jedi have conspired to create the shadow of Separatism using one of their own as the enemy's leader. They had hoped to grind the Republic into ruin. But the hatred in their hearts could not be hidden forever. Our loyal clone troopers contained the insurrection within the Jedi Temple and quelled uprisings on a thousand worlds. The remaining Jedi will be hunted down and defeated..."

It went on for some time. When it ended, Zara shut off the audio as the sound of thunderous applause filled the space between the three Jedi.

Kalinda spoke first. Her voice was a whisper; at some point her hand had lifted to cover her mouth and her eyes were wide as she mouthed the words that the new Emperor had spoken.

The war is over.

Long note today:

On Milo...aside from Stonewall, he's my only OC clone that crosses over both time-lines in my 'verse. It was an incredibly difficult decision to end his life in this time-line, but in the end...sigh. There were a lot of reasons that I won't go into here, but suffice it to say that I don't take a main character's death lightly. It still makes me sad, though.

Palpatine's speech was taken from Wookieepedia; it's the "Declaration of a New Order" that was written by Dan Wallace and Pablo Hidalgo. It's also a longer (better, imo) version than the one heard in the movie, or seen in the ROTS novelization. There's more of this speech (a different part) that you'll see in a later chapter.

Finally, the chapter title is taken from the poem "The Hollow Men," by T.S. Eliot:

"This is the way the world ends...not with a bang, but a whimper."

It's a fantastic piece of writing – and relevant to this era of SW 'history' – that's definitely worth a look. (I kind of feel like an English teacher for recommending all this poetry, but much of it was inspirational in the writing of Bastion, so I'd like to share it with you!)

As always, I sincerely appreciate your reviews, thoughts and comments. Thanks to everyone who has done so; it means a lot to me to know that people are reading and enjoying my work!

On Wednesday: back to the rest of Shadow Squad!