Chapter 11 - Friends in Low Places

I barely see Emmett at school on Friday. He walks into English late, which must mean he was with Gram during lunch. I wish I could have snuck away with him. Instead, I sat at my usual table, ignoring Roy making out with Vera (during which I saw tongue). Mike and Tyler spent the lunch hour working out the logistics of the post-Homecoming party Mike was throwing (which I was hoping to get out of). I could tell The Roy and Vera Show was being put on specifically for me, because every time I happened to glance in their direction, I saw him watching me out of the corner of his eye.

So classy.

When Emmett walks past our desks, he throws Jess, Lauren and me a smile that's quick and casual. I don't look at the girls, but I can tell by the little shake of his head that I'm probably the only one who smiles back. I give them the cold shoulder for the rest of the day.

I don't get to hear his voice until much later. The team had an away game at Montesano, and even though he texted me before the game saying he would be home late, I'm going crazy by eleven. I need to hear his voice. I've been in my room all night, staring at the ceiling while old episodes of Scrubs play in the background, thinking about him and Homecoming and what exactly I'm going to say to him about asking Edward to go.

I don't know what his expectations are. The fact that we haven't talked about it when it's only a couple weeks away makes me think he doesn't have any.

A thought suddenly hits me: what if someone else asks him? What if he says yes, since I've now tethered myself to Edward? I cover my eyes with the crook of my arm, cursing my lack of forethought.

I'm going to make myself sick over this.

I pick up the phone and go to my recent call log, tapping on his name. It rings for what feels like forever, but finally I hear the click of a connection and then rustling. His voice is rough and low. He sounds exhausted as he tells me he just got home. Apparently it was a bad game; they lost and then got ripped apart by Coach Clapp because it should've been an easy win.

"So, basically now he's all freaked about the Homecoming game next week," he says with a sigh. "Rainier's a pretty easy team, but after the way we fell apart tonight, we've got to get our shit together. And Coach said we all have to make an appearance at the dance on Saturday whether we win or not."

My heart jumps at the mention of the dance and how put out he sounds about having to attend. "Were you not going to go?"

"Dances aren't usually my thing. Or our thing, I guess. Swan has two left feet, so Edward gets an automatic out and Alice and Jas don't really care about them." He pauses. "And I never really had a reason before. So I guess I just haven't thought about it, you know?"

"Yeah," I reply lamely, and then swallow. I have no idea how he's going to receive the news I'm about to give him, if he'll care or not. I mean, it's not like I'm going with a random guy or even worse, Roy. Edward's his best friend and it obviously won't mean anything. So, instead of beating around the bush, I figure I might as well spit it out. "So, uh...I was thinking about asking Edward if he wanted to drop by there with me for a while, since we're both on the court and have to make an appearance. It would be really quick, you know. No big deal. I don't even want to go, but..."

My heart is racing now as I sit here, waiting for him to say something. Anything.

He's not saying a word. And mine are just hanging there like an incomplete thought.

"Em? Did I lose you?"

He clears his throat and when he speaks, his voice is no longer low. If anything, it's sharp, which is new. "Um, no, I'm here. Just processing. Right, no big deal. My best buddy is going to take you to the dance while I stand there with my thumb up my ass. That sounds like a great time."

Whoa.

My heart sinks. It sounded okay in my head, but when he puts it that way, in that tone, it sounds...idiotic. "Listen, I just thought it would be easier all around. Go, do the court thing and then get out of there."

"Okay, well, do what you've gotta do, Hale," he replies shortly. There's a rustling noise, like he's pulling the covers over his head. "I'm tired. Let's talk tomorrow, okay?"

I roll over onto my side, sandwiching the phone between my ear and the pillow. My stomach and heart feel so heavy. "You're upset."

"I'm more tired than upset. The Homecoming dance really doesn't mean that much to me in the way of big life events."

"Obviously not, since this is the first time we're talking about it," I remind him. Yeah, the idea of Edward and me going to Homecoming together is new, but so is this entire subject. Still, the quiet between us is tense. I let out a soft sigh. "The dance is a week away, Em, and we're not really..." I stop, unsure of how to say it. "Jess and Lauren know we talk, kind of, but they've never even seen us interacting. I think it'd be a little out of left field if that was how we announced...this."

"Right. This." His voice is softer now, quieter.

"And honestly, do you really want to go with Jess and Lauren and everyone?" I continue, gaining steam. It feels like I'm trying to talk us both into this. "I mean, they're going to make it really awkward for us. Roy's going to be there with Vera, and he's been kind of an ass since we broke up and -"

"Rose, I get it," he interrupts, but he doesn't sound angry anymore. "I don't particularly like it, but I get it. Like I said, I don't care about the dance. I'll be there, alone," he emphasizes that and I feel my heart squeeze, "because I have to be. I just don't want it to be like we're hiding, you know?"

"I know," I say quietly. "Let me just get Homecoming over with, okay? I don't want to deal with the weirdness of it, but after that..."

"After that?"

"I want to be with you, Emmett." The words slip out so easily and it feels more like a declaration, a promise. Even if I haven't said that to everyone else, I know now after this conversation that I need to say it to him. We've shared so much of ourselves, have danced around the subject of us, but now it's out there. Now he knows.

There's a slow exhalation of breath on the other end of the line and then he says, "Well, we're on the same page there, then."

We're quiet for a minute and I stare at the wall, wishing I hadn't turned this into a secret. I didn't mean to, but that's what it's become. Secrets are created when you're ashamed. Only it's not Emmett I'm ashamed of, it's my friends' reactions. It's me I'm ashamed of, because for how badly I want to change, I'm also terrified of it. I'm making small strides, but is that enough anymore?

"Are we okay?" I ask finally, because he's still not talking and I'm tired of thinking so damn much.

"We're okay," Emmett says, and I can hear the truth in his voice. "Go to sleep, Rosalie. We've got the rez tomorrow night. At least you can be all mine there." I recognize the tone of his voice; it's still tired, but more playful now, teasing.

I smile and close my eyes. "I'm all yours anyway, McCarty."

"You will be," he murmurs. He sounds close to sleep and I wish I were there with him, lying in his bed while we whispered to each other. I want that all the time.

I know I can have it. I just have to get there.

xoxo

The house is quiet as it always is, although more recently it doesn't feel as lonely for some reason. My bedroom door is closed, locking in the music wafting out of my iPod. I'm digging through my closets and drawers yet again, trying to figure out what to wear for the rez party. For some reason, I'm more nervous about fitting in there than I ever was about fitting in at the parties that Mike throws, which seems backwards. I'm probably completely overthinking this, but that's what I tend to do, always.

It's what I'm finally learning to let go of... but bad habits are hard to break, as I know too well.

And now I'm overthinking overthinking. Brilliant.

I finally decide on jeans and a tank and am nearly dressed when there's a soft knock at my door, then a creak.

"Sweetie?"

"Yes?" I call toward the door, my voice muffled as I look for my shoes in the closet.

My mom and Eric appear next to me, her free hand resting on her hip. "Where are you off to?"

I pause for a moment, thinking about what I should tell her. How about the truth, Rose?"I'm going to a party at the reservation, with Edward and a couple of friends." I throw Edward's name in there, knowing that will soften whatever reaction she might have.

She arches a brow at my mention of the reservation but says nothing in regards to that. "Is Edward still with his girlfriend? Bella, right?"

Her tone is curious, probably because I dropped the news that I'm going to Homecoming with him at dinner when the topic came up. Actually, after I informed them that I'd be going to Port Angeles in search of a dress with the girls tomorrow, the conversation naturally turned toward my date. I didn't go into too much detail then, but it appears that Mom wants the goods now.

"He is. She's going to be visiting her mom in Arizona over Homecoming weekend, so rather than us going stag-"

She interrupts. "Please, Rosalie. We both know that you can't go to the dance stag. How would that look?"

God, I wish she were kidding with that comment, but by the earnest frown pulling on her lips, I know she's not.

"Right," I say, hoping to stop her from talking because her comments are annoying me. "So since Bella's not going to be around and rather than us go stag," I repeat my words, emphasizing them so she realizes how silly she's being, "We're going together. No big deal."

No big deal. I've repeated that phrase so many times now, most recently to Edward when I called this morning about going to Homecoming together. After what seemed like a fifty-minute pause, he asked why the hell I'd want to go with him and not Emmett. I gave him the same spiel I gave Emmett, hoping he'd understand on a more intuitive level what I didn't want to deal with, especially with Roy. He's been friends with that crew for as long as I have, so he knows what they can be like - cliquey in the worst way, especially with people who aren't a part of said clique.

Edward had sighed and hedged and told me how stupid an idea it was, but finally broke down and agreed when I told him Emmett already knew.

The shortness of my answer must have an impact because my Mom switches gears to yet another annoying topic. "I don't know if I like the idea of you going to the reservation, Rosalie. Don't they do drugs there?"

Jesus Christ, Mom! They do drugs down the street in Mike's backyard.

I choose the less abrasive, more complimentary route instead. "You raised me to make good choices."

A second later, I hear a quick horn-honk and I hold my breath, giving her my best please, please, please pout until she nods once. "You've got your phone, right?" I wave it in the air before pocketing it. She glances out the window and immediately a hand is up in the air, the light glinting off her diamond engagement ring. "Hold up. I thought you said you were going with Edward. That is not Edward's car."

I walk to stand next to her, peering out the window to see Jasper's car in our driveway. It's old and out of place and my mom is looking at it quite dubiously. Shrugging, I act like it's not a big deal, hoping that she won't say anything more. I lean in, placing a quick kiss on her cheek. "I guess Jasper's driving tonight."

"Have I met Jasper?" She follows me out of my room, pulling the cardigan off my chair as she passes, and trails me down the stairs.

"Um, I don't know if you have." She definitely hasn't. "He's on the football team." And then I go for broke. "And he's one of Edward's best friends, so Esme and Carlisle know him well."

She murmurs behind me, but I don't hear any arguments, so I ease the door open and wave my hand out the door before looking at her. She's standing there, at the bottom of the steps with Eric still pressed against her side. Suddenly, she looks older. I trot back to her and press another kiss against her cheek. She hands me the cardigan and we walk to the open door together.

"I'll call you when I get there, okay?"

"You know, if you feel uncomfortable, you can call me to come get you," she says. Then she tacks on, "No questions asked."

I raise an eyebrow at the adder.

"Okay, fine. You know I'd ask questions. But Rosalie, be safe, okay? You're the only one I've got."

"You better cover Eric's ears when you say thing like that," I say dryly, but I feel a twinge of guilt or sadness. Maybe a little bit of both.

My mom's gaze slips past me as footsteps crunch softly behind us. Her expression turns guarded, intimidating, but I see a glimmer of curiosity there. And when I turn around, I know why.

Emmett's coming up the walkway, dressed in dark jeans and a gray hoodie. His hair is wild, like he was wearing a hat, but took it off. The thought makes me smile, even as my heart pounds. Ever the gentleman.

But oh god, then I realize that my mom and Emmett are going to meet. They're going to talk. I want to grab his hand and run to Jasper's car. I can see him and Alice in there, waiting. They're both grinning. Alice wiggles her fingers at me, her mouth opening in silent laughter.

I sway toward Emmett when he gets close, my heart picking up its pace as it always does when he's nearby. I don't want things to be weird with us after our conversation last night. When he smiles at me, sweet and determined, I know that things are okay. And then he directs that smile at my mom. She blinks when he says hello.

"Oh," she says, darting a glance at me before looking up at Emmett. The guarded expression falls away. Curiosity has completely replaced it. "Are you Jasper?"

"No, I'm Emmett McCarty. I'm a friend of Rose's." And then, oh, he holds out his hand to her. I want to take it for myself. I want to grab him and kiss him for getting out of the car, for making an effort. I know most guys wouldn't bother.

Then again, Emmett isn't most guys.

I hold my breath, watching silently as their hands clasp briefly. "Oh," she repeats. I look at her, trying to gauge her mood. Her earrings sparkle underneath the porch lights. Her hair looks as icy as her diamonds, but her expression is slightly warmer. "Well, you kids be careful tonight. Rose usually stays in the neighborhood, so I'm a little nervous about her going that far out."

"Mom, it's okay," I say, exasperated.

Emmett nudges me gently. I can tell by the way her eyes crinkle at the corners, thoughtful, that she catches it. "Absolutely, we'll be careful. I wouldn't let anything happen to her, Mrs. Hale."

My heart expands at his words, and I brush my pinky against his. God, I want to touch him. Kiss him.

Mom looks at him appraisingly and I swear I see one corner of her mouth twitch before she turns to me with an arched eyebrow. "Remember that your curfew is midnight."

"One," I counter. Or plead, really.

"Only in the neighborhood."

The statement leaves no room for debate. I shouldn't press my luck. If my dad were here, he'd order me home by ten. He works so much that I rarely see him, though, which means he rarely has any say in my comings and goings.

"Midnight it is," Emmett says. "That's no problem."

I tug at his sleeve. "Okay, whatever. We have to go. See you later, Mom."

She nods, adjusting Eric on her hip. He stares at me, his nose twitching in the night air. "Uh huh, at midnight."

Emmett smiles, all dimples and white teeth, so boyish. I don't know how anyone could resist that smile. My mom's a pretty tough customer, and he seems to be holding his own with her. "It was really nice meeting you, Mrs. Hale."

"You, too, Emmett," she replies. Her hand goes to her pocket, but I don't stick around to see what she's doing. Instead, I push Emmett gently, urging him down the steps toward Jasper's car.

"Hi," he murmurs, his lips pulled up softly. Our hands brush against one another, our fingers intertwining for a split second. Goosebumps erupt everywhere, spread across my skin like fire.

"Am I okay wearing this?"

His eyes are as dark as the sky above us and he lets his gaze linger a little bit, probably longer than is safe. I don't care; I love the way he looks at me, the way I feel when his eyes are on me like this. "You're perfect."

The night is so quiet that I'm sure my mom hears him say that and hears my breath hitch, too. I don't turn around to see her reaction.

Emmett opens the car door for me, waiting as I slide into the backseat. It smells like cinnamon and cloves and kind of like Fritos. Food wrappers crunch beneath my feet and Portishead wafts out of the speakers.

"Hey, Ro," Alice says, reaching back to squeeze my leg. She's wearing a knit hat with little mouse ears, her lips painted bright red.

"Hey, Al," I reply, trying it out. I'm rewarded with a brilliant smile.

"Did you win the missus over, Beaver Cleaver?" Jasper asks, as soon as Emmett settles himself next to me.

"They're called manners, dickhead," he replies easily, pulling his hat off Alice's headrest and putting it on. His legs are too long for the back seat, but I like that his knee presses against mine. I like it even more when his arm stretches along the seat behind me. I press back into him, my hand curling around his thigh. I grin when it tenses underneath my touch.

Jasper chuckles under his breath as he pulls out of the driveway. I turn, looking out the back window to see that my mom's still standing just outside the door, silhouetted by the soft light streaming out from inside. And then I see something illuminated in her hand. Her phone.

"Oh, Jesus," I groan.

Emmett twists in his seat and then raises his eyebrows at me. "Why 'oh, Jesus?' What's she doing?"

"I'm pretty sure she's calling Esme."

I reach for my seat belt, only to find that it won't budge.

"Seat belts are optional, Ro," Jasper says, watching me in the rear view mirror.

Emmett chuckles and adds, "Yeah, mainly because the majority of them don't work." His arm hold tightens around me and I relax into his side. "Don't worry. I'll keep you safe." His voice is low, meant for my ears only, but I'm pretty sure that Alice and Jasper can hear him anyway, gauging by the look they exchange. He raises his voice. "And hey, no worries about your mom calling Esme, either. She's a fan."

"This is true," Alice chimes in, turning in her seat to look back at us. "In fact, if it weren't for Doc C..."

"Alice, stop," he grumbles beside me, but I can hear the smile in his voice.

"What?" She's mock indignant. "All I'm saying is that Esme totally loves you."

Emmett puffs up his chest. "What's not to love?"

"I could name a few things," Jasper says. Emmett leans forward so he can smack him upside the head before settling back into the seat.

The conversation continues, an easy back and forth. There's no tension left between us from last night. I lean against Emmett, acutely aware of every place we're touching, along with where I wish we were and aren't. I watch the shadows of the trees whizzing past us, my fingers threaded through his. There are few streetlights along the main road and even fewer cars. Not much traffic in this part of the state, I guess.

"Nearly there," Alice comments, and starts flipping though the CDs in the console. With a triumphant "A-ha!" she pulls one out and opens the plugged-in CD player with a flick of her finger.

"That's what we call fully loaded," Jasper jokes. They all reach over to lower their windows. Emmett nudges me to do the same as "Friends in Low Places" starts blasting out of the car's tinny speakers.

I catch Emmett's eye, raising a curious eyebrow at the obvious significance of the song. He shrugs before leaning over, his mouth close to my ear. "It's just something we do every time we come here, giving Jake and the rez kids shit about being our friends in low places. You know, since we're all sort of in the same boat."

"Oh." I nod like I know, but I don't. Not really. I turn my gaze out the window, the butterflies flaring back up when I see people milling around, hear laughter and music. I take a deep breath, forcing the panic down, trying to tap into calm, cool and collected.

Jasper noses the car into a spot between two similar-looking cars. I look around, noticing Edward's Volvo at the far end of the makeshift lot, facing the tree line. It looks out of place with the rest of the cars here, too shiny and new.

We climb out, Jasper leaving his keys on the floor.

"About time you showed," Edward shouts over as he makes his way toward us. He's impressively holding six red Solo cups, three in each hand, and he doles them out. Jasper shakes his head, nodding back to the car.

"Where's B?" Alice asks, standing on her tiptoes and craning her neck, attempting to spot Bella over the throngs of kids. There are more people here than I expected but I guess that the rez has quite a few residents. Not that I would know. I've never really been here before, aside from a 7th grade trip when our Social Studies teacher focused on different cultures. The elders had shown us what a tribal counsel looked like while the children sneered at us; it was clear that they felt like they were on display.

"She's talking to Jake." Edward shrugs and looks down at the ground, balancing the remaining two beers between his hands. I take the extra beer from him. "Double fisting, Hale?"

He grins, but I can tell that he's uncomfortable. I wonder if he feels the same way about being here as I do. We're both a little out of our element and so far, no one's come to welcome us with open arms.

I raise my cup in a mock salute. He does the same, his smile going wry.

The group scatters a bit, walking onto the beach and toward the fire. Alice and Jasper wander over to a kid sitting on a piece of driftwood with a guitar. He stands, exchanging a complicated handshake with Jasper. Edward makes a beeline for Bella, who's standing with two tall, dark-haired guys. The taller one stops grinning as soon as Bella catches sight of Edward. That must be Jake.I can feel the tension from here. I elbow Emmett, nodding my chin toward them.

"What's up with that?"

Emmett looks over and lets out a little chuckle as he twists his hat backwards. "Oh yeah, Jake's not a fan of Edward."

"I can see that, thank you." He grins widely, flashing me dimples. I roll my eyes, even as my heart skips a beat. "And that's because..."

"Because he has Bella, for one, and Jake has a thing for her." He weaves his fingers through mine and gently yanks me closer. "And Jake's sensitive about money, too, you know? Jasper and I can get away with giving him shit with the friends in low places joke and whatever, but that's because we're in the same boat."

"Edward would never give him shit, though," I argue. "He would never rub the fact that he has money in anyone's face."

Emmett gives me a pointed look. "I know he wouldn't, and he never has, but that doesn't matter to Jake and these guys. They've have had a lot of run-ins with the kids in your neighborhood over the years. They used to get a lot of grief for not having the money to get the right equipment when we were all in peewee football -"

"From who?" I ask, although I have a sinking feeling I know exactly whose name he's going to say.

"Roy, for one. All those guys." Emmett stops, crossing his arms in front of him, and I mirror him. He looks deep in thought for a second before he shakes his head, his gaze going back to Jake. "Hell, they did it to me, too. We were young and kids can be assholes when someone else is 'different.' And he's told me stories about how they used to throw parties that were more for everyone. Kids from our high school - kids from your neighborhood - would show up and act like total dicks. They'd trash the place, drink all the beer, and then bail. Sam, one of the older guys, put a stop to it a few years ago. That's why it's so chill now. They're careful about who they let hang out."

I look around. There are maybe twenty people here, most of them obviously from the rez. We're the only ones from town, from what I can tell. The vibe is mellow, still celebratory, but a major change from the parties I go to with loud, thumping music coming from expensive speakers. And I definitely stand out with my blonde hair and pale skin. No amount of suntanning could ever bring me close to the olive complexion of the kids from the rez, not that I go out in the sun without sunscreen. My mom has drilled it into my head that I'm a Winter.

"Great, well, he's going to love me then," I say dryly.

Emmett shakes his head, pulling me against his side protectively. "Don't worry about it, okay? Let's just have fun."

Right, fun. I take a deep breath and push away my discomfort. I focus instead on the fact that Emmett and I are here together, that we have the whole night.

A little liquid courage never hurt anyone, though. I take a sip of the beer Edward handed us. It's Beast, but I screw up my face and down it quickly anyway, placing the empty cup under the full one. The fire brings back memories of the first night Emmett and I were together, when I was so shy and almost too nervous to talk. My body reacts to his every movement. I burn with his eyes on me. Every time I catch his eye, I know that he feels the same.

Edward makes his way back to us with another cup of beer for each of us, maybe just looking for something to do. I wonder if we naturally gravitate toward each other because we're both interlopers here. Bella keeps looking over her shoulder, like she wants to follow him, be with him, but Jake is talking loudly, his hands waving animatedly in the air. He keeps reeling her back in.

The topic of Homecoming comes up, and Edward jokes about bringing me as his date. Emmett gives him a look before his eyes slide toward me. "Oh. You asked him already?"

"Uh, yeah," I say, shifting uncomfortably. "I called him earlier today."

Edward shoots me a disapproving look before turning back to Emmett. "Dude, if you're not -"

Emmett cuts him off. "No, man, it's fine. We talked about it already."

Edward looks from Emmett to me and back again, then shrugs. "All right, whatever, I'll be the stand-in. Just don't ask me to bust out any crazy dance moves, okay, Hale?"

"I'm hoping to be there for as short a time as possible, so hopefully that won't be necessary," I reply, looking sideways at Emmett as I link my pinkie through his. He squeezes and for a second I think he'll let go. He doesn't, so I slide the rest of my fingers through his.

"Okay, well, I'll leave you guys to it. I'm going to go check on Bella," Edward replies, throwing us a wave before making his way back toward the bonfire.

"Are you sure you're not mad about this?" I ask when Edward's out of earshot and we're alone again. I tug on his hand lightly. He pulls me close, the corners of his mouth pulling up, just a little bit.

"Like I said, you do what you need to do. I just wish..." He stops talking and I wait for him to continue, but he doesn't.

"You wish what?" I prompt.

He takes my beer and sets it on the ground, along with his, before turning to me again. "I wish you could see yourself like I do."

Gently, I put my arms around his neck and he slowly wraps his around my body. Tilting my head back, I stare at the stars above. "How do you see me?"

"You're smart," he begins, placing a kiss on my forehead, "And funny, even when you don't mean to be." Another kiss, this time at my temple. I close my eyes, feel the way his mouth curls up as he continues, "Actually, especially when you don't mean to be. You're beautiful, especially when you blush." His lips travel down to my cheek. "You're talented. I wish you could see your face when you pick up a camera. When you know what you want, you go for it. And you can have anything you want, Rose."

I inhale sharply, pulling back to look up at him. Those words sound so different coming from him than they have from anyone else. It feels freeing rather than constricting.

"Can I return the favor?" I request, brushing a kiss across his lips.

He grins. "You know how I feel about reciprocity, Hale."

I take a deep breath. It's kind of a daunting task, because I could probably go on for hours. I resolve to keep it to a top five list. "You're beautiful on the outside, but even more on the inside. You accept people for who they are. You're loyal and love your friends, but you're nice to everyone, even when they're bitches to you," I say, thinking of Jess and Lauren the other day.

He laughs, probably thinking the same. "That's a Gram thing." His voice goes high in a spot-on impression of her. "'You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, Emmie.'"

"I very much like your honey," I murmur. His grin is downright sinful. I press my thumb against his lips, running it along his bottom one. It's so warm. "And the way you take care of Gram is unbelievable. I bet your mom would be so proud of you."

He's wearing his soft smile now, with a gaze to match it. "I hope so." I open my mouth to continue and he quirks an eyebrow. "There's more?"

"Oh yes, and this is the biggest one."

"Hell yeah, it is."

I snort, then lean forward on the balls of my feet, letting him catch me. I press my ear against his chest, right over his heart. "Even before I knew you like this, I really envied how comfortable you are in your skin. You make no apologies for what you want or what you do, Em, and especially for who you are. I wish I could be like that."

His hand goes to my head, cradling it there, and his voice is a deep rumble against my cheek. "You can."

"I want to," I whisper. "But it's scary."

"It's worth it." His mouth goes to my ear. "I promise."

I nod, then whisper, "I'm sorry, Em."

"For?"

I press myself closer, letting my voice show the vulnerability I don't want him to see painted across my face, in my burning eyes. "Making you feel shitty about all of this. Making it way more complicated than it needs to be."

"I just don't want to be a secret, and that's what it feels like now."

"It's not you, though, it's me."

"Wow, really?" he says with a laugh as I let out a frustrated growl.

"That came out completely wrong." I take a deep breath, trying again. "I just mean that I'm the secret, not you. I've been hiding all of these parts of me because I'm afraid people won't understand. And it's not just what's going on between us. It was hiding how bad my relationship with Roy was and not being open about how important my photography is and feeling like I didn't belong anymore. And I know I shouldn't be afraid to show anyone who I really am, and I know it doesn't make any sense to you because you're you, but that's where I'm at. That's where I've been."

"It makes sense," he murmurs with a sigh, pulling me even closer. His lips brush against my temple. "You drive me a little crazy, Hale, you know that?"

"Maybe you're just crazy about me," I suggest, wanting to take us back to lightness.

He laughs easily. "I'm definitely that."

We stand like that for a few minutes, quiet, just breathing and holding on, before he pulls back. I do, too, but just my head, keeping the rest of me pressed against the rest of him. It's dark out here, but I can still see everything in his eyes.

His gaze goes to my mouth. All of the things that were pushed to the back of my mind during this conversation disappear completely. Homecoming, my friends, this beach and how convoluted everything is, it's all gone. It's just me and him.

"Let's go somewhere else," I murmur.

"Where?"

I nod my head toward the tree line, where it's even darker, more secluded. I feel a little exposed here, even though I'm sure no one's paying attention to us.

We make our way up a small incline and I stumble a little on the pebbly sand beneath us. Laughter and loud music wafts up from the fire and shoreline, but as we get further away, it gets quieter until it's only a gentle hum.

As soon as we're hidden by trees, he turns and pulls me close. My arms go around his neck and I bring his mouth down to mine. He places one hand on my hip, the other winding around my waist, his palm sliding up underneath my shirt, hot against my cold skin. I feel him smile, his lips parting, so mine do, too, and then I feel his tongue and taste him. I can hear the ocean hissing against the shoreline, can feel the breeze and his fingers in my hair. All of my senses are heightened, and at the same time, it all disappears.

He presses me even closer and angles my head with his hand so that the kiss goes deeper, gets more urgent. His hand skims up my side, getting close to just one of the places I'm aching for his fingers to be, and I make an impatient sound in the back of my throat.

"Want more of that?" he whispers, breaking away just enough that I can see his dark eyes and flushed cheeks and the glisten of his bottom lip.

"Want more of you," I murmur, taking his lip between my teeth softly.

He inhales sharply and then his mouth covers mine again. He runs his thumb just above the underwire of my bra, teasing me. I discovered the other night that he loves to do this, take his time touching me everywhere. It's amazing and at the same time almost painful, because it makes me want too much. It makes me want it all. I want to be in his bed or mine, alone with him. Really alone.

But we're not. Raucous laughter, along with someone calling out Emmett's name, reminds us of that and we break apart.

"Shit," he breathes. He brings me close again and rests his forehead against mine, closing his eyes for a second before opening them to me again. They're hazy and dilated and full of the same things I'm feeling.

"Dude, where the hell is McCarty?" a deep voice calls out from somewhere not that far away. Emmett's hand is up my shirt still and I try to wiggle away from him, which only makes him pull me closer with a wicked grin.

"I would really announce yourself loudly before you walk too far up there, Jake," I hear Bella reply.

"Incoming cockblock," Jasper booms. Emmett curses under his breath with a laugh, dropping his hand to my hip.

There are heavy footsteps and I finally manage to extricate myself from Emmett's arms reluctantly. He grabs my wrist before I get too far, pulling me back to him. "Don't go anywhere, Hale. I've got a bit of a situation here."

"So I feel," I reply, smirking. His exhaled chuckle fans out against my hair and he inhales like he's going to say something, but then Jake comes into view. The cocksure grin he's wearing dims when he catches sight of us.

"What's up, man? You can't say hi?" he says. He makes a head-to-toe sweep of me, checking me out, but not in the way I'm used to with guys. His eyes narrow when they make it back up to my face before he turns to Emmett, dismissing me.

It feels familiar, although I'm on the other side of it now. I recognize that look; I've seen Jess and Lauren wear it countless times. I'm sure I've worn it countless times.

Emmett steps out from behind me, taking my hand. "We were just hanging out here for a minute. Jake, this is Rosalie. Rose, Jake."

I give Jake a tight smile that he doesn't return. There's a tension in the air, not unlike what I noticed with Edward and Jake. When I look over at Emmett, I can tell he's noticed it, too. The corners of his mouth are pulled more out than up.

"What, one rich kid at the party wasn't enough?" Jake finally replies. He grins like he's teasing. I know he's not.

"Chill, kid," Emmett says jovially, but there's an undercurrent of "or else" to his voice.

"Nice to meet you, too, Jake," I add with a completely obvious fake smile. I can't help myself. Maybe it's the Beast that I downed or his automatic attitude toward me - and my sensitivity about the unfairness of it - but it just slips out. Emmett squeezes my hand.

"Oh, we've met," Jake responds.

I furrow my brow in confusion. "Have we?"

"More or less." He mutters something about people like me all being the same, and I recoil for a second before looking at Emmett, my eyes wide. People like me?I'm seething over a comment by someone I've barely said two words to and I realize that my fears of not fitting in earlier are valid.

"Excuse me? People like me?" All eyes are on me and I shrug, though not helplessly. Might as well keep going."I'm sorry, refresh my memory here. What the hell did I ever do to you?"

Jacob crosses his arms over his chest. "Nothing." He turns back to where Bella is standing and starts walking toward her, throwing the comment over his shoulder. "But there's a reason we don't let you rich kids chill here anymore. I'm sure you know what I mean."

Emmett's hand tightens around mine tension running through his arm. "Dude, what are you -"

Squeezing his hand tightly, a surge of adrenaline and alcohol courses through my body. The tension, the pressure of the past weeks decides to finally make itself known with a willing sparring partner. I'm tired of keeping quiet. "No wait, let's talk about this for a second here. I'm sure we can both be rational."

Jake turns back towards me with a dubious expression, his jaw muscle flexing. He stares me down, waiting silently.

"So you're pissed because some other kids were assholes to you guys years and years ago? And because my family has money, too, I'm automatically like that? Or..." I cock my head, trying to figure out his vantage point.

"I just think it's pretty interesting that all of a sudden you're here slummin' like your friend Cullen over there." He gestures toward Edward, who's just walked up with Jasper, Bella and Alice, his jaw locked tight. "You're hanging out with Emmett and his friends, coming here to the rez, drinking beer from our keg. I'm just trying to figure out your angle, Blondie. I mean, are your parties not good enough for you anymore? Thought you'd mix it up a bit, add some flavor to your life?"

Jasper moves in closer, saying, "Jake, man -" but I cut him off, holding up my hand.

"As far as Emmett and our friends go, this isn't 'all of a sudden.'" I totally air quote him and I know I'll be catching shit about it from Jasper later. "I mean, fine, it's pretty recent. But you're using blanket statements here and judging me based on what you think you know about me, which is complete and utter bullshit." I pull my hand from Emmett's, placing it on my hip. He moves so that he's behind me, close but not touching, and I know he knows I've got this. "So let me spell it out for you. I drive a BMW that I got for my sixteenth birthday. My jeans are absurdly expensive and I have way too many pairs. My passport has stamps from countries all over the world. I've had a very, very lucky life and I know that."

I take a breath and Jake starts to speak, but I stop him. "I'm not finished. All of that? Shouldn't really make any difference in whether you like me or not. That stuff isn't what defines who I am, just like I'm sure there's more to you than what I'm currently assuming, which is that you're a giant asshole." There's a ripple of muffled laughter. "Maybe if you talked to me, or Edward for that matter, you'd realize that. We don't consider hanging out with them slummin', as you call it. And also..." I pause, and turn toward Jasper, plucking the Solo cup from his hand. I turn to Emmett, tapping my fingers once, twice, against my bottom lip. He breaks out into a huge grin, shaking his head slightly. I drain the final gulp of beer slowly, wiping delicately at my mouth before holding the cup out to Jake. "Also,if you're going to get shitty beer, at least have the decency to buy Pabst."

I'm cognizant of the fact that Jake's not the only person who should be on the receiving end of this little tirade. But he's the one who's here; he's the one who lit the fire and incurred my drunken wrath.

I didn't even know I had it in me until I let it out, but god, it feels good.

Jake blinks at me, the rest of his face frozen in shock. The party's still going on, but more subdued, distracted. I can feel everyone's attention on us.

Jasper comments in a hushed whisper, "Shit just got real, son."

It has. I don't explode often; raised voices really aren't tolerated in the Hale household. I've had years of experience pushing anger away, letting it fizzle with a few deep breaths, or mildly bitchy comments if I'm with Jess and Lauren. But there's no way I could have held this in. Because Jake isn't the only one I want to say those things to. He's just easier because I don't know him, or maybe because he doesn't really know me.

But Jess and Lauren do, or they at least know the parts that I let them see. For better or worse, they've been my best friends nearly all my life. It's so much harder to stand up to people you've invested so much time with, knowing that they might decide they don't like the ways you've changed.

Still, I made a promise to Emmett. To myself. I know I'll need to have this conversation with Jess and Lauren soon. I just hope it's not quite so dramatic. And I could definitely do without the Beast.

"Well, damn," Jake finally says with a small laugh, taking the cup from my hand. He turns to Emmett, raising it as if to toast him. "Your girl's got a mouth on her."

"Nah, she's just calling you on your shit, Black." Emmett slings his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close to his side, kissing my temple as if proving a point. "You know I run with good people."

"How do you explain Cullen then?" Jake snorts and then lets out a little yelp when Alice flicks his ear. I didn't realize she was capable of reaching his ear.

"Get over it, Jake. Edward's here to stay." Her eyes flicker from Emmett, whom she smiles softly at, and then settle on me. Jasper sidles up to her, wrapping his arm around her. "And so is Rose."

Emmett's fingers tighten around me with her words.

Jake holds up his hands and starts to back away. "All right, whatever. Paul and Seth are going to jam in a few and the keg's still full, so help yourself." He looks over at me with a little smirk and then turns on his heel, calling out, "Maybe next time we'll get the PBR."

Okay, so it's not an apology, but it's the best I'll get out of him. And really, it's not about him. It's about me, about how I stood my ground and said what I meant and felt. I recognize the feeling, the sense of empowerment; I felt the same thing when I told Roy it was over, when I saw my pictures in the paper.

I'm so caught up in my thoughts that I don't realize Emmett and I are alone until he's right in front of me, smiling. "See, you know, Rosalie. It's right there. That was worth it, right? Handing Black his ass? You were right about everything and he backed off. You did that."

I laugh and nod, my heart still racing. Scary or not, I know I have it in me to say what I really feel, to say what I really want. Sometimes I just need the catalyst to bring it to the surface. In this case, it was my anger. When I approach my friends, my family, I want it to be because of my strength.

Emmett takes my face in his hands and looks down at me for a long moment, then presses his lips against mine in a sweet kiss. I step back, a little off-kilter from the adrenaline racing through me, and from the Beast. I think for a second I might fall backward, but he takes me around the waist. He's always there, supporting me in case I need it. The contact takes me by surprise, as does the intensity of his kiss. So I do the only thing I can or want to do: I hold on and lose myself.

But I think I'm starting to find myself, too.

Baby steps, right? Still with us? What'd you think of her little tirade?

Our friends are all above and beyond. Thank you to Jan for always being our rock. Val and JD, we love you bunnies and will always giggle about autocorrect changes thanks to Gunther. ;)

You reader-friends have been absolutely incredible. Your reviews are always insightful and we are mush when we read them. Iris, happy birthday!

Until Thursday - xoxoxo