Disclaimer- I do not own DGM or any of it's characters. I do however, own my OC Alice.
Okay, I planned to have this out earlier but the original chapter was deleted when I had to restart my computer to factory settings because my sister downloaded a game to my computer without my permission and gave my computer a virus... or something. Anyways...
Chapter 3- The morning after... or something...
"Ooow... what happened?" The back of my head is killing me.
I looked around my surrounding area. It isn't in the ark. There's crap lying all over the floor. Clothes, toys, people, empty bottles... People! I looked around and there were multiple people lying on the floor. They were alive but they were hungover. Was there a party or something? I can't remember anything from last night...
"Oh man, what happened? My head hur- What is this!" I looked to my left to see Tyki wearing a wedding dress. It took me awhile to absorb the picture but once it was there it was impossible not to...
"...Ahahahahaha! Oh man! What are you... actually, it doesn't look that bad on you..." It looks like a really expensive dress though...
"Are you kidding me? I look awful... in this colour!" Tyki stood up and started looking at himself in the closest mirror.
I looked around some more trying to figure out where we were. We seemed to be in a fancy room, in some sort of hotel. I got up and looked out the window. We were in a large hotel that looked to be located in a large city. How did we get here? Think, think, think... Let's see, got lost in... ate breakfast and met... Jasdevi and Tyki killed... then played with Road... playing with Road is the last thing I remember! I wonder if she has something to do with this... I wouldn't be surprised.
"Woah, Tyki! What's with the dress?"
"Definitely not your color, hee~!" I turned around to the familiar voices coming from behind me. Uh...
"What about you guys? Pink is definitely not your color... but it doesn't look too bad on Jasdero..." Tyki looked at Devit as if he was analyzing him.
"You're just jealous that you don't have the proper legs to pull off a dress like this!" Devit stuck his tongue out at Tyki while propping his leg on a nearby chair to show off his legs.
Jasdero and Devit were wearing short pink muffin dresses, that really, didn't look too bad on them. Devit was right though, their legs really did make the dress for them... Why are they dressed in wedding clothing? If they're in wedding clothes then... I didn't even notice until now but I was wearing some wedding clothes of my own, a tuxedo to be exact. A shine from the corner of my eye caught my attention. I looked down to my finger where a gold ring with a giant diamond rested. So if I'm the groom and Tyki is the bride... Jasdevi and Tyki must have been thinking the same thing, Tyki lifted his hand and sure enough there was a gold ring on his finger.
"Um, are we... are we married, Tyki?"
" I, I-I don't know... I think... Why am I in the wedding dress?" Tyki looked down and started playing with his dress again.
"W-well, what should we do? I don't want to be married you!" Tyki ignored me and continued to play with his dress.
"We don't even know if we're married yet. If we just remember what happened last night then we can solve this thing." That's right, I must remember something...
"Okay, what do we remember then?" I asked the group
"I don't remember anything..."Tyki rubbed the back of his head," What about the twins?"
"We don''t... Oh, wait a minute, we have a wet towelette from a restaurant called 'La Comida', must be a Spanish restaurant..." Devit offered me the towelette and continued to stare daggers, along with Jasdero, at Tyki.
"Alright, let's go to the restaurant and see if anyone recognizes us," I turned around and grabbed some random clothes off the ground and put them on.
At the restaurant
"So you saw us? What were we doing?" I looked down at the waiter that was trembling in fear at my gaze.
"U-uh, you had just come back from a wedding! You're wedding! How can you not remember something like that?" The little Mexican man backed away from my gaze.
"Who was the groom, do you remember?" I asked, grabbing him by the collar and shaking him.
"I-it was him!" The frightened man pointed to Tyki. Ugh, of course! Devit and Jasdero intensified their death glare at Tyki and Tyki actually seemed uncomfortable.
"A-are you positive it was me?" Tyki asked nervously.
"Y-yes, you guys came in drunk or something, ordered some tacos and went back to your hotel to celebrate... your honeymoon..." The waiter backed up as far as he could into the wall.
"H-h-h-h-h-h-honey...?" Oh no.
"Th-thank-you... we'll be leaving now..."Tyki grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out of the restaurant.
"T-Tyki..." Devit and Jasdero lifted their guns at Tyki while half laughing to themselves like crazy men.
"Now hold on, we don't know that we actually did anything! You guys were with us too! You were a witness to everything!" Tyki backed up into me and tripped on my foot, falling on top of me.
"Tyki, you bastard!" They started blasting their guns at Tyki, whom was still on top of me, might I add.
"Agh, you're going to hit Alice you idiots!" Tyki shouted as he started running around wildly.
"If they're the one's who are going to kill me, then I don't mind!" I got up from the ground and hugged them both from behind.
"Ack, get off of us." They swung me off their back and I landed on my bum.
"I don't get you two! One minute you're swooning over her and getting jealous of anyone that touches her and the next minute you're throwing her off you're back like she's a ravenous kindergartner!" Tyki shouted at them from his place behind a nearby lamp post.
"It's none of your business, Tyki!" The both of them shouted with red faces.
"Oh ho ho, could it be that even the lightest touch from her silky soft hands send a chill down your spine and energy to your manhood? Yeah, I know what that feeling is like, just last night I experienced the same thing with Ali-" A gun shot interrupted Tyki's little speech.
"T-Tyki! You're dead!" Devit and Jasdero said in unison once again as they continued firing at Tyki.
"Uh, I'm sure even if I was drunk, I would never sleep with Tyki, like, ever..." I said from the background.
"W-why do you have to say it like that?" Tyki asked from his hiding spot behind a baby carriage... with the baby still in it.
"The only one's I love are Jasdero and Devit~!" I threw myself at the two, only to be thrown off once again.
"Oh, you two are too cruel to me!" I pout at them with my biggest puppy eyes.
"Don't look at us that way! It burns!" The two clutched their eyes in a dramatic way to emphasize the burning.
"Guys, shouldn't we be figuring out where we are and how to get home?" Tyki asked.
"The Millennium Earl will come to get us, hee~!"
"Well, the last thing that I remember is playing with Road, so if she has something to do with this then she's probably thought of a way to make it hard on us..."
"Oh, is that the last thing you remember? Now that I think about it, the last thing I remember is walking in on you and Road playing a wedding game. Road tried to marry me to you..."
"Then me and Devit walked in and we got in a fight and then everything went black..."Jasdero continued.
"This is definitely Road's fault. So... what should we do?" Devit asked.
"Well, we have to get a ride home... or something. We'll rent a wagon... or something" I don't have any money on me...or something.
"Who has money?" Silence...
"We'll have to hitch a ride..." Tyki sighed as he rubbed his forehead.
Somewhere in the country
"Why is everyone such an asshole?" Devit shouted from behind me.
We walked out of the city and found a pretty busy country road, it didn't look like anyone was going to pick us up. There were a few men that looked at me but they had a family with them. There were also men by themselves that would looked willing to pick me up but Jasdero and Devit would give them death glares if they looked for too long. It would be easier to get a ride if they would stop doing that... but I let them because it's too cute!
"We'll never make it home at this rate!" Tyki gave his deadliest glare to Jasdero and Devit, "Maybe if you two would stop getting so jealous, some horny old man, would have picked us up by now!"
"Shut it!" They both shouted in unison.
"Ah, a wagon!" Down the road came a wagon with a large woman steering. As soon as she saw me, she gave me a dirty look.
"Heehee, remember those other women you tried to get a ride with? I don't think other women feel comfortable around you..."
"What? Why? I haven't done anything!"
"They feel threatened by how hot you ar-... Uh- I mean- by how hot it is... outside... uh and babies... seventy-four... and uh-" Devit started stuttering for words.
"Yeah, nice save there Devit," Tyki said in a sarcastic tone.
"I never thought I would have to do this but I guess now is better than ever," Tyki and the twins looked at me in confusion.
"What are you- Wow!" All three aw'd in unison as I lifted my shirt to reveal my... assets. The wagon suddenly stopped and the woman gave me a blank expression. I'm also pretty sure that Jasdero and Devit stepped up to get a better look.
"Get in." The woman said flatly. We crawlled in through the back in a small cramped area.
"What just happened?" Tyki asked.
"I've been told by a lot of people that I could make a straight women go gay, but I never really tried until now..." Tyki looked utterly amazed and Jasdero and Devit continued to stare at my now clothed chest.
"Devit, Jasdero, you can stop staring at her chest now..."
"I don't mind~," Of course, as soon as I said that, they looked away.
We drove for a couple hours and soon it was dark. The woman told us where we were and was going to make a delivery to a nearby town. After she makes her delivary she'll have to go back the way she came and we'll be on our own. So when she dropped us off in town we had to find another way to get home. It was already late at night so we probably wouldn't be able to find someone able to give us a ride. So that left us to...
"Where are you supposed to get a job?" Tyki asked.
"I could work at a bar or something like that. They're always looking for someone like me to serve the customers. And it's only until I can make enough money to rent a wagon... or something."
"We'll help too!" Jasdero and Devit said together.
"No one will want to hire you two! You're too stupid to live." Tyki said nonchalantly.
"It's alright, I can do it myself, you guys just wait somewhere nearby!" I shouted as I quickly walked away.
I made my way to a nearby tavern. The whole place smelt of B.O. and alchohal. As I walked by, men would turn their heads and spank my butt. Do I really want to work here? I made my way to the counter and the bar tender immediately dropped everything he was doing and gave all his attention to me... well, my boobs anyways.
"How may I help you young lady~?" The scrawny man asked my breasts.
"I was wondering if you could hire me, just for-"
"You're hired!"
"Don't you want to hear my qualifications?"
"No, it's fine! You'll be a waitress! Now go work!" The scrawny man pushed me out into the crowd of drunken men, "Go take orders!"
"Um, okay..." I waited around for someone to come in the tavern, I just got here so I don't know who's had their orders taken yet.
"Hey, girly! I'm ready to order over here!" A fat man sitting with his friends called for my services.
"What can I get you... darling?" That's how I'm supposed to ask, right?
"Ah hahahah! Bring us a Keg! Oh, and, I'd like a ham and cheese sandwich without the ham or cheese and extra mayonaisse. Hahaha *burp*" He wants a mayonaisse sandwich? I looked towards the other men at the table.
"I'll have you, without the clothes please~! Hahaha!" The other men joined in with his drunken laughter.
"Hehehe... I'll just go get the keg and sandwhich then..."
Behind the bar
"So, what are you going to do to get money then, Tyki?" Devit looked up to Tyki from his seat on the curb.
"I'm going to offer my services to the town's people~!"
"Heehee? Like random jobs?"Jasdero asked while playing with the light at the end of his hat-ribbon-thing.
"...Yeah, let's say that..." Tyki looked around with shifty eyes.
After hours of woking and butt spankings-
"I have the money you gu- WOAH!"
"Uh... hey... there, You're back early, Alice..."
"So... hey, there... where are your clothes guys?" Something tells me Devit and Jasdero aren't very good at strip poker...
There was a group of eight men sitting behind the bar I was working at. This included a shirtless Tyki, five half naked men and jasdevi in only their pants. Because of the type of pants Jasdevi wears I can tell they aren't wearing underwear. In the center of the men was a huge pile of money that looked like Tyki was going to win.
"... We're helping to raise money..." Jasdero said sheepishly.
I backed up a bit, "... Good luck you two," Lose, lose, lose!
~* At the black order*~
"*Huff*... That was *huff* A good work out..." Amy made her way to a nearby wall to give herself some support.
"I didn't know anyone could scream that loud. What an odd weapon... the ability to paralyze enemies through some sort of supersonic scream. This weapon sounds familiar..." Lenalee followed after Amy and took a seat beside her.
"I'm so tired... I hope I didn't hurt you too bad Lenalee, you look a little pale..." Amy said with a touch of worry in her voice.
"I- I'm fine, I just have a bit of a huge migrane... that's all, hehehe," Lenalee rested her head against the wall.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!"Amy said with a panicked voice.-"maybe you should try resting for a bit?" Amy suggested.
"Right, i'll just sit here and rest up a bit..." Lenalee closed her eyes as she drooped back against the wall some more.
"Hmm~ Hmmm~ Hm~ Hmmm~ Hmm~ Hm~" Amy closed her eyes as she laid against the wall. Lenalee sat up and gave Amy a confused look.
"That song you're humming, What is it? My head is feeling better now. Maybe you're voice has a different power depending on how you use it..."
"You think so? Cool! I'm so awesome!" Amy cheered as she jumped to her feet.
""Heheh... Yeah, real awesome~..." Lenalee said as a sweat-drop fell down the side of her head.
~* Back with the naked people*~
"Aw, man!"
"What are you complaining about? We won!" Tyki asked as he finished putting on the rest of his clothes.
"I wanted to see Jasdero and Devit without any clothes on... Wah! Not fair!"I let my shoulders slump in dissapointment.
"Shut up, stupid woman!" Devit and Jasdero shouted from in front of me without looking directly at me.
"Ooh~! You guys are meanies!" I pouted while trying to get a hug from them, they dodged all of my attempts of course!
"Now, now, kiddies, let's settle down~. We have our money so we can finally leave! Let's go get that wag-"
"Hello~!" We all turned around to that, oh so, familiar voice.
"R-Road...!"Tyki looked at the loli menaceingly.
"I forgot where I left you guys last and it took me awhile to remember but then I did remember and I went to go get you but you weren't there so then I had to come find you guys. You're so troublesome, really~!" Road looked at us with inncoent eyes.
"W-We're troublesome...?" Jasdero and Devit asked while looking constipated or trying not to go bat-shit-insane.
"Yes, well then... let's go home!" Road turned around as a door appeared behind her.
"W-we... You... What are we-? We did all that work for nothing?" I asked.
"Well not for nothing! Think of how much candy you guy's could buy me!" Road giggled with excitement.
"Why would we give you money when you made us go through all of this?" Tyki shouted in her face.
" 'Kay uncle Tyki, too close. It's not my fault! If you guys just would have stayed where you were then none of this would have happened! Face it, this is all your guys fault,"Road said with a voice and face that showed she was being dead serious.
"... Take us home... Now..." Tyki said in an exhausted voice.
"Alright then! Let's go!" Road turned around and made her way through the door.
"I hate her so much right now..." Tyki said, as he too made his way through the door, followed by Jasdero and Devit.
Before I left through the door I reached for the papers in my pocket. I read over the divorce papers then folded them back up and put them into my pocket again. I had left to go get them during my lunch break. The lady at the town hall gave me a dirty look, I had forgotten that divorce was highly frowned upon.
"I'll get him to sign them tomorrow," I made my way through the door where Jasdero and Devit were waiting for me on the other side, back in the ark.
"Y'know Alice, if you want to see us without clothes that bad then I'm sure we could arrange something..." Devit said with a smirk.
"It's going to cost though, hee~"
"W-what?" I asked, feeling my face heat up.
"It was just a joke, Alice. Don't get so worked up~!" Devit and Jasdero smiled at me mischiveously before walking away.
"I'm going to go take a bath..." I said to myself as I made my way to my room.
~*X*~
A/N: Once again, sorry this came out so late! Also, I just noticed in my first chapter that I said Alice was born august 27 and was a virgo. This is wrong. I had begun writing this story before I actually released it, so that is old information. Alice was actually born August 17th and is a leo. Imma change that.