Author's Note: Okay, so I'm really sorry that I haven't updated at all. I've had the whole summer to write this chapter and whatnot, but I pretty much just… Slacked off and now that school has started, it's worse because I don't really have time to write, especially since I have Chess practice and whatnot ( Yes, I joined Chess). Anyways… I'm kind of having a little bit of writer's block, because I know what I want to happen, but I don't know how to phrase it, so all I can hope is that whatever I write, it comes out good. Criticism is acceptable, so I know what I might want to work on for the next chapter to make it better. For those who read this and have been patiently waiting for this chapter…. THANK YOU. (:
Well, it's Saturday.
My mom gave me so much shit when I walked in through the door, blabbing about me and Trevor making little babies 10 years from now and all shit.
Billy wasn't much of a help either… What little brother shouts from the top of the stairwell that his sister is going to be Mrs. Trevor Mitchell?
It took me so long before I was able to get through the ambush of teasing, considering how much I used to hate Trevor.
Funny thing is… I always did hate Trevor, why don't I feel like I hate him anymore?
Is it because he's been occupying my head whilst I'm not thinking about him?
I wound up dreaming about both Trevor and him last night. It was so vivid and realistic as if it were reality. The image of him was so surreal as if he never left. All of his features were there and lucid.
He came back and promised me the forever he had previously sworn, but Trevor seemed to have stopped me and begged for me to stay with him. All in that one vision, I found myself choosing between giving up my life and my life itself.
Before I could make the decision of Trevor or my gothic prince of the night, I woke up…
Damn it all to hell… Even though it kills me to see him whether it was a dream or not, I wanted to know what my decision would have been.
I woke up the next… Afternoon (at about… 1:35PM) to Trevor's "good morning" and "be ready for today ;)" text messages. He's so lame…
Then again, I wound up spending about three hours deciding what to wear on our date.
And you know it's bad when I actually say "our date" when it involves Trevor Mitchell.
I swear to god, I spent about three hours before hand trying to get ready for this little date.
My choices in clothes were… Either my usual gothic attire, a preppy-ish look, or just be casual. Although… Casual in Dullsville usually means preppy clothes.
After spazzing about what to wear for about 40 minutes, I asked my mom and Billy what would look best… Mom being mom told me to wear whatever I'd like because I'd look beautiful, anyways.
Fuckin' Billy… Either way, I'd look like a freak. It may be true, but it's not my fault!
Honestly… If I wear my gothic attire, people here are all, "Ooh! Look at Raven Madison! The freak of Dullsville!"
If I wear preppy clothes, "Look at Raven Madison trying to fit in now that she's 'dating' Trevor Mitchell! What a wannabe!" or "Who's that pale girl?"
There's going to be insults thrown at me, either fuckin' way.
Fuck this. I'll just wear my black corset, red long sleeve underneath, arm warmers, studded belt, miniskirt, and black and white leggings with my combat boots.
By the time I had decided on what to wear, I only had about an hour and a half to get ready as in… Shower, get my hair ready, and get fixed, basically.
I shampooed twice, brushed my teeth, blow dried and straightened it.
OH! Not to mention putting on my makeup, eyeliner, eyeshadow, black lipstick, bat earrings, and some cover up.
When I was ready, Trevor was supposed to be here in about… 10 minutes, including late times which would probably go up to about an hour, I had time.
I grabbed a Slipknot wristlet I got from Hot Topic and put about 60 bucks in there, my cell phone, my keys, and some eyeliner.
Rather than waiting in the living and sitting like a perfect little lady, I pretended I was upstairs in my room getting ready and fidgeting.
Then, the doorbell rang and I took a peek outside my door to see my mom opening the door for Trevor to come in.
He had a dozen roses bouquet in his arms, six of them were blood red and the other six were black. Aww, how sweet.
My mother started to turn her head and called me down, "Raven! Trevor's here."
I came downstairs and he was wearing beige cargo shorts and an aqua polo shirt. Straight up prep right there.
As I descended from the staircase, he looked at me with his eyes all wide and gawking at me.
It was so exciting to be the outcast of Dullsville that got to go on a date with the most popular guy.
Not so sure why I'm excited, but I do. I can feel my insides doing back flips as I walk down.
When I reached the bottom step, I smiled at him and said, "Hey, Trev."
Trevor wasn't any more over dressed than I was. He was wearing a dress shirt with a his sleeves rolled up halfway, khaki shorts, and tan flipflops. Mainly your average prep, semi casual, summer attire.
He continued to gawk at me with his mouth hung open. Rather than greeting me back, he just gave the flowers to me.
They smelled amazing.
I smirked, "Oh, well… Let me just put these in some water."
When I started heading for the kitchen, he finally opened his mouth and said, "Hi, Rave. You can't put them in water… Otherwise the roses won't look the way they do now."
"Oh, okay. Guess we can just get going, then," I smiled and handed the flowers over to my mom.
I waved goodbye to my mom and walked with Trevor to his car.
We got into the car and were all buckled up when Trevor pursed his lips and turned to me, "So… You ready for this?"
I nodded and he started the car.
We were driving down Downtown Dullsville when I broke the silence by asking, "So what're we gonna do for this 'first date' of ours?"
Don't worry… I was SURE to use air quotes to see what he says rather than just making the word stand out.
He smirked, "What's with the air quotes on 'first date'? It's not going to be a cheap, hangout date. I'm going to make it a date and you are NOT allowed to spend a single cent on yourself."
I shot him that "be serious" look, "You're shitting me, right? I didn't put sixty bucks in my purse, just so you can pay for everything."
His eyes got wide, "Sixty bucks? Raven Madison, maybe you oughtta pay for everything tonight."
The teasing in his voice was more than obvious…
Teasing jackass.
We pulled up to this little bistro with a valet parking person, which by the way… Seems a little too fancy for a first date.
The valet opened my door for me and I got out of the car. Trevor came around from the driver side, handed the valet the keys, and we walked inside.
Fuck, I don't remember what the name to all these people are, so I'll just say what I can remember.
Anyways, the fancy schmancy dude by the podium took out two menus from under the podium and asked in his fancy schmancy voice, "Dinner for two tonight?"
Trevor responded, "Naw, reservation for Mitchell at 8:45PM?"
"Ah, right this way, sir."
Our table was all the way in the back of the bistro with a very romantic table setting and everything.
There was china that looked quite different from the tables that we passed by, a small centerpiece of roses and baby's breath, and red velvet chairs. The lighting was candlelight that seemed to have illuminated the room quite well, in my opinion.
Mr. Podium Guy pulled my chair out for me to take a seat, handed us our menus, and stepped out of the room.
Holy fuck. This place was expensive as a motherfucker. This is like… A whole year's worth of my allowance.
Really, I don't care what the fuck I eat, as long as it's cheap and my sixty bucks can handle it.
The cheapest edible thing on the menu was an appetizer… That sure as hell ain't gonna fill me up…
I take a look at the entrees… The cheapest thing is tilapia.
When it comes to fish, I won't eat anything other than salmon or catfish. That's as far as it goes with my appetite.
Oh, shit. I also have to get a drink, which is probably another two or three bucks…
Fuck it, I'll just get a lemonade… VIRGIN, of course.
I look up from my menu and ask Trevor, "These dishes are really expensive… Are they any good?"
Trevor smiled from his menu and nodded, "They are, the portions are quite filling. Do you want me to recommend something? I come here all the time."
He comes here all the time? As in... On dates or for family dinners? WAIT. I'm going to push this from my mind for now and just enjoy the night.
"Yeah, please do."
"Well, the skirt steak here is really juicy when cooked medium rare and it comes with a salad so order their Caesar salad. If you want chicken, get the parmesan going with a tomato basil soup, smoked salmon is good with their cocktail shrimp. As far as I know.. Those are the best combinations."
Holy damn…
"Uhh…. What're you getting?"
There was a short silence before he said, "We'll both get something different and we'll share, so you can try two different things."
I nodded, "Alright. Um… I guess I'll go with the steak and Caesar salad."
Trevor nodded impressively, "Never knew you had such an appetite... Do you like seafood? I'm sort of in a sea critter mood today," he chuckled.
Instead of Mr. Podium guy coming out, a waiting came out and asked, "Hi, I'm Fred and I'll be your server for this evening. Are you two ready?"
Trevor nodded and responded, "Yes, we are."
"Alright, let's start out with what you'd like to drink."
Trevor pointed at me, "Rave, go ahead."
Caught a little off guard, I said, "Oh… I'll have a lemonade."
"And I'll have a coke."
Fred wrote our drinks down and asked, "And to eat?"
Without even having to look at the menu or any hesitation at all, Trevor just said, "A skirt steak with Caesar salad and a smoked salmon with the side of cocktail shrimp."
More writing was done and then asked, "How would you like the steak cooked?"
Trevor pointed at me and I said, "Medium rare."
Scribble scribble and then he walked away.
When our food came, we split our entrees so we were sharing and trying some of each other's stuff… Not that Trevor needed to try any of it.
He and I talked about a lot. He talked about how he was trying to get into Columbia University in New York taking General Studies, because he always wanted to live in a city, but he also has no idea where he wants to be in the future.
Wouldn't blame him. After living in a small suburb where you know everyone all your life, you want to get out and hit the road and just be a nobody for once… Especially when you're Trevor Mitchell. Dullsville High's soccer star and Dullsville's most famous child.
He asked me about college and what I wanted to be.
Really… I don't know. I never really thought about what I wanted to be or where I wanted my life to end up after college. Ever since I was little, as everyone knows, I've always been in love with the supernatural life.
Except, rather than saying that, I turned the conversation into stuff about family because my talk about the supernatural would only result in a conversation about… Him.
The entire talk about our future and education was already about… 30 minutes, even though it felt like less than that. Our conversation about family surprised me the most.
Apparently, Trevor's family isn't as put together as it seems. Yeah, they're the country club rich folks, but they also have their own problems…
I couldn't help but ask him, "What about your family could possibly be that bad?"
He shrugged while cutting a piece of the steak, "My mom and dad don't always get along. You know how parents are… Especially when my dad's always working and my mom's always at the country club? It sickens my dad that my mom cares so much about class and money that our family is just falling apart from that," he took a short pause, "Honestly though, if it weren't for my mom caring so much about reputation, my family wouldn't be known as the royal family."
Believe it or not, it was hard for me to believe the Mitchells weren't as put together as they make it seem.
And then Trevor asked, "What about your family?"
It didn't make me feel comfortable to talk to him about it, but… He shared, so I might as well…
"My family… We're put together. My mom and dad both work and help each other financially. They take their time for themselves and sometimes they'll have their alone time when they need it. My brother and I love each other, but you know… We show it in a very sibling sort of way… The love hate relationship? You act like you hate each other, but if anything were to happen, you wouldn't forgive yourself, you know?"
He nodded, "Yeah… Well… No. I wouldn't know about it because I don't have any brothers or sisters. My parents just never… Oh, god… I can't believe I'm talking about this… My parents were just never that intimate with each other after I was born… Guess one was enough… Or I was a sad mistake." A scoff escaped from him.
We continued eating in a comfortable silence. At least we were at an understanding.
Fred came back a few times for refilling our drinks, taking the excess plates away, returning to serving our entrees, and then asking for dessert and giving the bill.
Trevor was still wiping his mouth when I grabbed the check and looked at it. It was an expensive ass dinner, but I was still able to afford my part of it.
I pulled my Slipknot wristlet out and pulled out 50 bucks to pay for my part, but before I could put the cash down, Trevor snatched it.
"Rave… I said it from the beginning. Since this is our official first date, I'm paying. No going halfsies or paying the load."
Who wouldn't roll their eyes at that?
"Motherfucker, just let me pay for my god damn food!" I laughed.
He continued shaking his head and placed a hundred in booklet and handed it to the waiter, "Tip and everything's all there."
"You, sir, are an asshole," I shook my head.
We walked out of the restaurant and the valet gave him the keys, while Trevor handed the guy a 10 dollar bill.
As we got into the car, I said, "You spent over a hundred bucks tonight, I don't give a fuck to what you say, but I am treating you to ice cream."
He put his keys into the ignition and said exasperated, "God, don't you ever take things from me nicely?"
I glared at him and said a simple, "No."
Now, it was his turn to roll his eyes.
"Pull into the lot, right here," I said as we reached a Baskin Robbins at a plaza.
"You're not seriously going to get me ice cream, are you?" He asked wide eyed.
I nodded, "You spent over a hundred bucks on me, tonight… The least I could do is spend a maximum of five bucks on you."
He sighed and turned off the ignition.
We both got out of the car and as we got to the hood of the car to enter Baskin Robbins, I looped my arm through his and pulled him along.
"You can get any size, any flavor, and any topping you want," I smiled.
There wasn't much of a line and we got to the front very quick.
I motioned for Trevor to go first, "Um… I'll have a mint chocolate chip. Small."
I shot him a glared that said "You-Are-Such-A-Butt-Face".
Like always, I ordered a large chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips and fudge.
Yum, chocolate.
It's a surprise that I don't have cavities yet.
We stood around the ice cream parlor eating our ice cream and making small talk about absolutely nothing until we polished off the last bit of crumbs and left.
As he was driving, we were passing by the park when he asked, "Hey, do you wanna chill at the park for a bit?"
So many thoughts went through my head of what would happen… Would he and I get close to having sex like he and I did back at the party before I met him? Is he going to kiss me? Drop me off and ditch me?
Oh, god… So many things went through my head of what could happen.
The problem with all this?
I didn't want the night to end yet. I didn't wanna go home wondering what it would have been like if I did go to the park with Trevor Mitchell. Or what it would have been like to have his snobby prep infested… Soft looking lips kissing me…
You know what?
Fuck it. I'm taking a chance. It's about time I moved on… If I can.
"Raven?" Trevor asked, invading my thoughts.
"Huh?" I shot my head to his direction.
One look at me and you could tell that my head was in the clouds.
"Do you wanna go to the park?" he asked again.
"Oh, uh… Yeah. Sure."
He turned left and we were in Dullsville Park's parking lot.
We both got out and started walking towards the playground. He and I sat on the swings like you would see in those cheesy movies and then I saw a landmark from our childhood.
I nudged Trevor, "Remember when you and I used to always fight in that sandbox?"
He smirked, "Of course I do. Not everyone had the guts to throw sand in my face and stuff my face into the sand," he shook his head, "Remember when I bit you there by the slide?"
"And then I kicked you in the nads for biting me."
We both laughed together as if we were old friends and whatnot.
Trevor looked at me, "We had a pretty messed up childhood."
The way he was looking at me wasn't just a look either, his eyes turned liquid green and it was like it was meant to make me feel like I was walking through a grassy meadow in the spring time.
It was about to happen. Trevor's face was slowly inching closer to mine.
Suddenly, all these questions popped into my head.
Was I ready for this to happen?
Did I want it to happen?
Is everything happening too fast?
Biggest question of all?
What the fuck?
Fuck, I need time to think it over before I let this happen.
Trevor's face wasn't far from mine when I turned my head away from him.
He turned his head away from me and we looked away from each other awkwardly.
Oh, god… I wanna get to know him a little better before he and I become serious…
"Sorry," Trevor apologized.
God, I feel like shit… "No, don't be. It seemed like the right time, I understand."
He pursed his lips, "Yeah, but still… Sorry."
I couldn't do anything but give him a half smile.
Suddenly, I felt vulnerable.
That's the last thing I want to feel right now… Particularly when the only comfort I have right now is Trevor.
Ugh…
"Do you wanna go for a walk?" I asked without even thinking twice.
"Sure," he got up from the swing and put his hand out.
I took it and got off as well.
A lot of people came here to jog in the morning, have family picnics, or the old people would just come here and feed the ducks and geese at the pond.
We talked down the trail in complete silence until I broke the silence, "So is it really that bad at home for you? With your attention-loving mom and workaholic dad?"
He looked at me and stuffed his hands into his pockets, "It's not bad like… Where I don't wanna be home or anything. It's just annoyingly stressful, ya know? My mom always being at the country club trying to act like we're the perfect family with money and status and all that while my dad is just never home and when he is, it's like a hotel to him. He comes when he feels and leaves when he wants."
I look down at my feet, "No, I wouldn't know how that feels. My dad comes home to dinner a lot and my mom cooks for us. My brother and I care about each other, but we just show it in a completely different way."
Trevor shakes his head, "You have no idea what I would do to have a sibling or just for my parents to stop what they're doing just to have a family day."
"At school, no one would have any idea to what kind of family life you have… You always seem so to yourself like you've got everything you want and all that."
He scoffed, "Yeah… Material wise, I have everything a teenager would want, but I don't even think family is an appropriate word for my house life. Half the girls that I go out with find it so hot that my parents aren't home and we can be alone to fuck. But really when I fuck them, it's just to give my house a bit of life."
I narrow my eyes at him, "So you really screwed all those girls?"
"Uh, yeah. I'll admit, I'm an asshole for fucking around like that, but if you knew what it was like to want to feel some sort of compassion from someone, you'd understand."
There was nothing I could say.
"Raven, I once told a girl that I dated for a while what it was like for me at home and she laughed at me. Laughed. As if it's impossible for my life to be shit."
Again, no words came out.
We keep walking and have a moment of silence except for our feet hitting the gravel.
All this time, I've resented Trevor for being such a douche and manwhore, but really, it was just a façade he put up so no one would give him bullshit about it.
"Let's go to the pond," I suggest.
In silence, we walk to the pond and take a seat on the bench.
The moon's reflecting on the pond water tonight. It's a full moon.
I look up at the moon and think about all the times Alexander and I have sat in the cemetery picnicking and staring up at the moon in each other's arms.
Or when we'd go to the gazebo by the mansion on Benson Hill and just be together while Jameson prepared dinner for us.
None of it even feels like it happened anymore… It just feels like a figment of my imagination or like I've been dreaming for so long that I start to wanna believe that Alexander existed.
I look up at the moon and start to feel even more vulnerable than I did before and sigh.
Trevor's eyes turn to and he starts looking up at the moon as well.
Getting lost in my own thoughts, I barely hear Trevor ask, "So… If you don't mind me asking, what happened between you and that Sterling guy?"
My eyes shoot from the moon to Trevor, "What?"
His eyes go from the moon to me, "What happened between you two? There must've been something if you've been so depressed."
I bite on my lower lip.
Can I tell him any of this without telling him that Alexander's a vampire?
"Um… I don't know. Something happened and he felt like he couldn't be with me anymore because it was just too much for him."
"How'd he break up with you?"
I sigh, "I went to his house one evening and found Jameson's car missing, thinking he was going to leave, so I run up to the stoop and see a note from Alexander. It said that he was waiting for me at the cemetery. That was our hang out and secret spot, so I just assumed that he took the car to drive to the cemetery and had a surprise for me. When I got there, he was at his grandma's monument.
"When I walked up to him, he must've heard me because just as I got up to him, he turned around and he didn't look happy so I assumed he was mad at me or something, but he told me that he was leaving and I begged him not to, but he did anyways."
After I finished telling him what happened, I realized that tears have been rolling down my cheek.
I didn't want Trevor to see me like this…
Usually, I look like a hard ass and now I'm suddenly fuckin' tearing up in front of him.
Turning away from him, I got off the bench and walked towards the pond and looked up at the moon hoping that my tears would go away.
I read somewhere that looking up at bright light makes your tears go away.
Turns out, that little fact is bullshit.
My tears weren't going away.
I wanted to collapse and just let myself cry.
When was the last time I cried over Alexander?
Had I even cried over him since he left?
I wiped my tears and felt Trevor's presence behind me.
"I'm sorry he did that to you," was all he said.
I scoffed, "It's whatever."
Trevor placed a hand on my cheek and turned my head so that I was facing him, "It's not whatever. I've known you since we were kids and never have I seen you cry over a guy," he looked wary when his hands fell to his sides, "You didn't sleep with him, did you?"
No one's asked me that. Not even Becky.
Alexander and I never had sex. We got close, but didn't.
"No," I said shaking my head.
It must've shocked Trevor because he asked, "Why not?"
I sighed, "It just never happened. I'm pretty sure I'd feel worse if I gave my virginity to him and he kept hurting me like this."
Honestly, I don't know why he and I never did. We had a lot of privacy from the times that Jameson went out with Ruby or when I slept over.
A question that always got me sorta baffled was…. Do vampires need condoms?
Obviously they can breed because Mr. and Mrs. Sterling must've done something to have Alexander…
And I've read enough Dracula and Anne Rice books to know they can.
But if they were to NOT want to have a baby or… Offspring… Is a condom still needed?
Weird questions to be wondering, but it's not a bad one.
Trevor shook his head and smirked, "It surprises me you two didn't. Considering how clung to each other you guys were… I would know from experience."
I rolled my eyes, "No need to tell me about your bed rocking with airheaded blonds."
After my little remark, we just stood there looking at the pond in complete silence.
The way the moon was gleaming off the pond water was really pretty.
I looked over to Trevor, who was staring up at the moon emotionless.
For the first time since I've met Trevor, he looked at peace like he didn't need to have his guard up and could just be himself.
He must've caught my gaze, because he looked down at me.
"What?" he murmured.
I bit down on my black lip before I asked, "Do you wanna try that again?"
At first, he looked confused, but got what I meant and turned his body towards me.
His hands held my face and he started inching forward as I closed my eyes and prepared for what was about to happen.
Then, I felt a pair of lips softly touching my own.