Chapter Twenty-Four: The Only Constant
1092 days ABG
It was then that the work truly began.
Before it could leave Basrah, the Wayfarer needed a plethora of repairs, as well as more fuel and a few parts, none of which could be found on the uninhabited planet; Ares and Traxis left early that afternoon – after the ion storm had passed – to resupply at a nearby waystation on another world with assurances that they'd return by nightfall. In the meantime, Stonewall, Crest, Weave and the boys began to build a pyre. It was difficult work; the Jedi offered to help, but the clones turned the offer down. It was better this way, they said.
"Besides, you need to rest," Drake had added with a pointed look at the Nautolan girl. "We'll be okay."
Honi and Zara remained close to Kalinda and the three of them had taken to slipping into deep meditation for the time being. However, even as she felt her weariness receding, Kali could not keep her attention away from Stonewall. Did I tell you how much I missed you?
She could see his smile in her mind's eye. Only a few dozen times. About the same as me, I think. There was a pause, then his thoughts held a stern edge that made her chuckle. You need to rest. And I don't see you keeping that leg elevated.
Are you a medic now?
No, but I know that Honi told you to take your weight off of your knee and to keep it elevated. So you'd better follow her orders...
Her grin widened. Or what?
"Kalinda." Honi's voice broke her concentration and made her miss Stonewall's reply. Kali cast a look at the red-haired woman who sat across from her; they'd erected a makeshift camp of a sort, with crates for seating and the beginnings of a bonfire even though dark was hours away. Her former apprentice lifted her brow. "I thought we were meditating."
"I was. You disturbed me."
Honi gave a long-suffering sigh. "I know what you were doing, Kalinda."
Kalinda tried to be annoyed but found that she was too grateful to be alive and with those she loved to be anything but selfishly happy at the moment, so she gave the other woman an apologetic smile and reached forward to squeeze her arm. "Thank you for looking out for me."
With another sigh, Honi shook her head. "I've gotten used to it." She cast a look at Zara, whose attention had drifted to the clones. Following her apprentice's gaze, Honi shook her head again. "There's something about them, isn't there? At first I didn't understand it. Then..." Her eyes dropped and they all thought of Milo. After a moment, Honi looked back at Kalinda. "I do, now. I wish I had realized it earlier."
She still seems so young, at times. I suppose she'll always be sixteen to me, in many ways. Kalinda nodded. "You made his last moments a little easier, Honi. It was more than he'd ever hoped for, I think." Her voice was quiet as well; thoughts of Milo turned to memories of the others that she had lost: Mace, Yoda, Kit, Luminara, Barriss, Ahsoka...all of the Jedi. All gone.
Ben. Please be okay. Her eyes closed again and she felt an overwhelming sorrow take her. Even if he's still alive, how can we hope to find each other through all this darkness?
Earlier, after Stonewall had told her of his brothers' mission to the Galaris station and she shared their experience on Ambria, she had tried to reach Obi-Wan through the Force, but found that it was impossible to sense any other Jedi besides Honi and Zara. I don't know if they're all truly gone; I hope some of them managed to survive, but how can I know for sure? Perhaps in time, some of them will come out of hiding. But I suppose for now, in hiding is where we all must go. I think the Chu'unthor will be safe for a while, but we can't stay there forever. She took a deep breath and felt sorrow tugging at the edges of her mouth, but she pushed the feeling aside.
There will be a time for grief, later. Meditation seemed futile, so she shifted her knee to examine it; however, as she did so, her elbow brushed against something in her pocket and she pulled out her mother's journal. For a moment she looked at it with renewed curiosity until she sighed and slipped it back in its place. I'll think about it soon. For now, I just want to exist.
The clones were stacking logs with an efficiency borne of years upon years of training, and she watched their movements, noting again that Stone seemed to be fully healed while Crest still limped a little. Stone used the Force to accelerate his healing. I can tell. She smiled to herself. He gets better and better with it every day. At one point he turned and caught her eye, giving her a soft smile that made her pulse quicken, still. She indicated her elevated knee and lifted her hand in an easy salute; his expression broadened into a grin as he nodded.
Kalinda was a Jedi, and Jedi do not pray to the Force in the way that some people pray to their gods, who are separate and often distant, but in that moment she lifted her face to the sun and whispered to no one in particular. Thank you.
Traxis scanned the navacomputer and nodded. "Looks like our best bet will be one of the Relephon moons: Volusia. We should be able to pick up what we need there." He paused, the realization coming over him that he had no credits, no way to pay for any of the things they needed. I'm not used to thinking about that stuff...guess that's one more thing that's going to have to change.
As if sensing his discomfort, Ares smiled. "Master Altis has rather...ah, significant resources. He does not seek profit, but it does take a bit of money to keep his praxeum ship up and running; many people he has helped have donated to his cause." The Twi'lek lifted a brow at Trax's look of confusion. "That's my roundabout way of saying that I've got it covered."
"But this isn't a mission for him," Traxis replied as the ship slipped into hyperspace once they'd broken out of Basrah's gravitational pull.
Ares shrugged. "He's a Jedi. You and your brothers went on a mission to rescue other Jedi. I think that's close enough, don't you?" Traxis frowned and Ares chuckled. "Before we left he gave me some money for a situation like this, Trax. Don't worry."
Nodding again, the scarred clone shifted in his seat. It was strange to be nearly alone after spending so much time in close quarters with his brothers for the past two years – for the past thirteen years, actually – but it was peaceful too. After a few minutes of silence, he glanced at the Twi'lek. "Thank you."
"For what?"
Traxis had thought over his words carefully and was able to respond at once. "For letting us take over your ship. For risking your freedom and your safety to help us find the Jedi. For being...well..." He sighed and trailed off, looking out the viewport, thinking that his words sounded dull and hollow, after all. "Just thanks. For everything." Even though I suppose it's only to pay off some nebulous debt that he feels he owes all clones.
After a few moments, Ares spoke again, his voice quiet. "Even though I haven't been there since I was a boy, I meant what I said about being grateful to your brothers for their defense of my homeworld...but I didn't do it for them." He glanced at Traxis, who noted that his lekku twitched as if he were nervous about something. "I did it for you."
"Why?"
There was only the gentle hum of the engines for a few moments while Ares seemed to consider the question. "Because I wanted to see you happy," he said at last. "You seemed so..." He knitted his brows and sighed. "I don't know...like you had never known what it was like to have hope, or to know kindness – even though I suppose that isn't entirely true, from what I know of those you travel with – but in any case, I wanted you to understand that there are...good things in the galaxy that have nothing to do with your brothers or the Jedi. Not that they aren't important, but there's more to life than...well. There's just more." He sighed again. "Does that make sense, Traxis?"
The scarred clone did not answer for several minutes. It was not only because he was thinking over Ares' words, but also that he wasn't sure he could speak without his voice breaking. Finally he nodded, slowly, and looked at the Twi'lek. "It does."
When Ares smiled, his face was lit by the stars. I think civilian life is going to agree with me.
The clones finished building the pyre a few hours before the sun started to slip below the horizon; days on Basrah were longer than the standard twenty-odd hours on many inhabited worlds, so there was time enough before dusk for everyone to relax while they waited for the Stark Raven's return. Zara watched the boys take seats between the adult clones as they all wiped at their foreheads and talked quietly amongst themselves, their voices blending together in a comforting harmony. They seemed older than she remembered, and she wondered if that was due to their age acceleration or the harrowing events that they had lived through.
Beyond the others, Stonewall was seated beside Kalinda, his hand resting on her injured knee with a look of concentration on his face; she could feel through the Force that he was attempting to heal the Jedi and again she wondered at their connection. It was like someone had opened a door that she didn't even know had existed and for several moments she was lost to her thoughts. Love between a clone and a Jedi...I never knew such a thing was possible. I never thought either could fall in love in the first place. I wonder how it all happened. I'll have to ask Kalinda to tell me...I'm sure it's an interesting story.
Zara slid her eyes to No-Name, who was pulling on the front of his shirt to send puffs of cooler air to his face. Like the others he smelled of heat and sweat and sorrow, so she rose and moved to the Wayfarer, where they'd collected enough supplies to last until Traxis and Ares returned. She gathered several jugs of water and brought them back, passing them to the clones who thanked her. No-Name she came to last and when she offered him the jug she also gave him a small smile, one that he returned after a moment. When he reached for the container, their hands brushed with a light touch that was familiar and foreign at once.
"Thanks, Zara," he said before he tilted the jug up, making the water bubble and the container's sides retract as he drank.
"Sure, No-Name."
At this he paused and lowered the jug, regarding her with an expression she couldn't read, even with the Force. "Drake." At her look of confusion he pressed a hand to his chest. "I got a name – finally: Drake." When he squinted at her through the fading light, his eyes looked almost golden in the sun.
"Drake." She tested the name and found that it was a good fit, so she smiled at him again. "I like it. I think it suits you."
His grin was broad. "I think so, too."
"Thanks, Zara," Crest said as the Nautolan girl handed him the jug of water before she moved on. He drank deeply before passing it to Weave, who accepted it with a nod as the bald clone grimaced and rubbed at his legs. "Whew. Remind me never to get burned up in a fire again."
"You didn't have to help, you know."
Crest shook his head, his eyes falling on the pyre beyond them. "Yeah, I did." He was quiet for a moment before he looked at Weave. "I still don't believe it. The Republic's gone and we have an Empire."
At the word, Weave felt a prickle of danger along his arms though he only nodded. "I know. You were right, before. It doesn't feel real." He glanced around at the others; one shifting of his eye called up their heat signatures in his implant, a few more allowed him to see them through various multicolored spectra, assuring him that everyone in their group was healthy. Some of the tension lifted from his shoulders and he allowed himself a sigh.
"I wonder what will happen to..." Crest looked at his feet, his expression strange and solemn; his hands were clasped and his eyes were on a distant world. Aruna. Weave didn't need the Force to tell him that his brother was thinking about a young woman he'd met on that planet, well over a year ago, now. So Weave passed back the water and watched as Crest regarded it for a moment before taking another drink.
"As soon as Trax and Ares get back, we can check the HoloNet for news," Weave said in a quiet voice. "Maybe Kalinda can get a message out, somehow. Or Upala might have a contact on the planet...we can ask her when we get back to the Chu'unthor." He wished he had something better to offer than vague words.
But bald clone gave a soft smile when he handed his brother the jug again. "That would be good." They sat in silence for a little while, passing the water back and forth. Finally, Crest spoke again, but it was not to Weave, and his tone had returned to its normal joviality. "Guys...are you hungry?" The question was directed at the clone boys, Keo, Finn and Risky, all of whom were seated nearby, sipping their water. At Crest's words they sat up and nodded, which caused the bald clone to chuckle as he struggled to his feet. "Alright. Let's go see how many protein bars we can scrounge up. No, Finn...I don't need any help-"
"Yes, Finn, he does," Weave called out, smiling to himself as the boys gathered around Crest to offer their support to the limping clone, before making their collective way to the Wayfarer. Weave took another drink and felt the cool trickle of liquid down his throat, enjoying the feeling of sitting still, of being at rest. It was a welcome change from being hot and sweaty, though he thought that he wouldn't have minded a shower at the moment.
He glanced beside him at Levy, who had found a small insect of some kind and was watching it crawl across his "regular" hand, his expression conveying nothing short of fascination. The boy had still not said a word, and Weave was starting to think that he might never speak. I haven't had a spare moment to go through any of Creon's research. Perhaps the answer lies there. It might be the nanogene droids' effect on his body, or perhaps it's something more psychological.
Soft footfalls brought him out of his reverie and him to another's approach; turning, he noticed General Tallis – or Honi, as he supposed he'd have to start calling her – walking up to him. "How is Levy? I meant to ask you about him," she said by way of greeting. "I thought about him quite a bit."
Levy was still engrossed with the insect, grinning as it buzzed around his head; every now and then it caught the fading light and flashed iridescent green. "He'll be okay, I think. I hope," Weave added. She nodded and they both regarded Levy for a moment.
Beyond them, Kalinda and Stonewall were seated side-by-side and were wholly absorbed in one another; he could tell from their expressions that they were oblivious to everyone else. "Thank you for helping her," he said at last, nodding to the dark-haired woman. "I haven't gotten a good look at her knee, but I know that you had a lot to do with the fact that she's able to walk at all."
"It was the very least I could do." Honi paused and looked at him, the sunlight casting her hair in a fiery glow. "I'm so sorry about your brother. He...he saved her life, as well as mine and Zara's. I don't know if I can ever express my gratitude." She sounded humble, which would have amused him in any other circumstance, but the mention of Milo was enough to make his heart tighten with grief.
As it was, Weave couldn't speak, so he simply gave her a small smile. "I think he knows, anyway."
She nodded as well, and for a moment there was a new kind of silence between them. Finally she lifted her eyes to his and he noted that her expression had shifted. "But I want to repay him. And all of you." Her voice was firm. "I'll think of a way."
Weave tried not to chuckle, as her tone held no trace of humor. The idea of anyone repaying us for anything...I suppose she's been hanging around Kalinda for too long. After a moment he shrugged. "If you like. I won't stop you."
True to their word, Traxis and Ares returned right at dusk, bringing fuel and other supplies with them. The brothers' reunion was quiet as they made their way to the ship to collect Milo while Ares, the Jedi and the young clones gathered beside the pyre. After a brief debate they'd removed his armor, and placed him on a makeshift pallet to carry him from the ship. They set him on the stack of dry wood and Traxis brought a torch from the bonfire they'd started at their camp, lighting the bottom and then stepping back to stand beside Crest, Ares and the clone boys. Weave stood behind Levy, his hands on the boy's shoulders. Drake and Zara stood with one another, beside Honi.
A step away from them were Stonewall and Kalinda. His hand was around her waist and her head was resting on his shoulder as they watched the flames rising, reaching for the sky. A datapad rested on the ground by his feet, but when he'd scanned the recommendation that he'd written for Milo, the words sounded deficient in light of the sacrifice his brother had made. He saved my life on Teyr and again on Ambria, because when he saved Kali, he saved my heart and soul.
Stone held her closer, recalling her description of the order. I'm sorry that I doubted you, Mi. I never should have thought that you'd do anything but what was right. I only wish I had been there, too.
"It wasn't your fault." Kali's words reached to him through the snap of the fire. "If anything it was mine. I should have sensed the commandos' intent. I shouldn't have let him lay down his life for me. It was the last thing that I wanted any of you to do." Here, her voice cracked and she pressed her face into his side, her shoulders shaking as she wept. Stonewall felt his own cheeks grow wet as well and for a while they held one another without speaking. Finally her movements grew quiet and she met his eyes; he noted the lingering grief in her gaze that he knew was mirrored within his own.
Rather than say anything, he kissed her forehead and they watched the flames in silence for a while longer. Everything ends at some point, he thought. Even stars die after a time. The Jedi Order and the Republic that had both stood for innumerable years were scattered to ashes, like particles and embers borne on the rippling waves of heat; Stonewall mourned the death of their old lives, of the past to which he could never return, and the countless innocents who had perished needlessly.
But here, with this small group of people that he'd known for years – or only a matter of days – things were peaceful in a strange way that he was just starting to understand. They were his present, he realized. And his future; as he looked around at them, he thought back to Master Altis' words. You make your own reality.
Stonewall took a breath and smiled to himself as Kali shifted closer to him, her breathing had returned to a normal pace and he could sense that the edge had been taken off of her grief. For a few minutes he allowed his thoughts to drift into the future while her presence at his side kept him tethered to the moment. There is so much work ahead of us and so many questions to answer, but I think it will be okay, in the end. We have each other, and for that I can be nothing but grateful.
Still thinking of Milo, he spoke again. "I owe him everything. I really do."
The movement of her nod was gentle against his chest. "Me too."
Later, the group sat around the bonfire, silent. Suddenly, Ares rose and moved to his ship; Stone did not miss how Traxis' eyes marked the Twi'lek's progress and smiled to himself. Good for you, Trax. Everyone deserves happiness, after all. When he returned a moment later, he was carrying a few bottles of spirits, which he passed to the adults.
Crest examined the bottle and raised a brow at Traxis. "So these are the supplies you got, eh vod?"
The scarred clone exchanged glances with Ares and then shrugged. "Look, if there was ever a time to indulge, it's right now...but you don't have to participate, baldy." He made to reach for the bottle, though Crest pulled his hand back and glowered.
"I didn't say I wanted out." As if to illustrate, he popped the seal of the bottle, took a drink, and immediately began sputtering and coughing, which caused everyone to laugh.
Kali sniffed the rim of the bottle in her hand and took a cautious sip, despite the fact that Force-users had a notoriously high tolerance for alcohol. "Toydarian whiskey?" Ares nodded and she pulled a face even as she took another drink. She then passed the bottle to Stone, who took a sip as well and tried not to grimace at the taste.
Several minutes later, Crest began to chuckle to himself. Traxis raised his brow. "Are you drunk already? I know that the long-necks made us all lightweights, but..."
"No," the bald clone replied, watching the fire. "I was just thinking about the time that Milo's HUD kept malfunctioning and he got lost...it was Telos, wasn't it?"
"I remember that," Weave said, sitting up. "The comms weren't working either, so it took him hours to find the rest of us..."
"And when he did, he was covered in mud, wasn't he?" Stonewall added with a smile. "He kept saying 'but this means I'm not a shiny anymore, right guys?'"
Kalinda laughed. "Do you remember what happened on Ketaris?" Stonewall cast her a look and she rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, Stone...it was funny."
"You weren't laughing too much at the time," he remarked, though he was grinning as well. "'Front and center,' indeed."
They reminisced for some time until lapsing into silence, though it was somewhat sated by laughter. Finally, Kalinda let out a sigh. "I wish I had brought our instruments...I think he would have enjoyed an impromptu concert." She gave Stonewall a remorseful look and he hugged her shoulders.
But Levy, who had been listening to their words, sat up and raced towards the Stark Raven, returning moments later with a familiar-looking instrument case, which he presented to Kalinda with a flourish. Weave furrowed his brow. "That's your dulcimer case. Levy...?" The lad gave him a wide grin and the older clone chuckled, reaching out to ruffle his hair. "Ah. I think I see."
Kalinda, who had smiled at the boy and was already in the process of tuning the instrument, looked up. "What is it?"
"He likes music," Weave explained. "I think that Creon programmed the nanogene droids with music, somehow. It helped...calm him down."
Crest took another swig of the bottle in his hand and nodded to Kali. "Start us up, boss."
Ares glanced at Traxis. "A Jedi musician? I think this is going to be interesting."
"You have no idea," the scarred clone replied with a grin.
Kalinda laughed and adjusted the tuning again before casting a glance at the others and naming a popular song. Honi shook her head. "I don't know that one."
"Neither do we," Drake replied with a look at Zara.
The Nautolan girl smiled at him. "I do. It's easy. Just follow my lead."
After a few introductory bars, the song began in earnest and soon the group was singing along. As far as these things went it was a simple tune, light and frothy, but the lyrics held a wistful edge that seemed appropriate.
As he added his own voice to the harmony, Stonewall watched the others and noted how the glow of the fire cast everyone in a radiant light. They feel peaceful, he realized with a start. Despite everything. But it's not the alcohol, it's the company, the fact that we're all alive and together, even after so much has happened. Even after everything around us has been destroyed, it's good to think that there is a way to move on, in the aftermath.
Tomorrow we can start picking up the pieces of our lives.
At some point Crest had begun changing the lyrics of the song to something slightly more lurid, which caused the kids – and the adults as well, though at first they tried to hide their amusement – to add their laughter to the melody.
Beside him he heard Kali's voice laid against the music and wondered if he would ever hear any other sound that he loved quite as much; she caught his eye and gave him a smile, which he returned with all his heart.
Some time later, after the others had gone to sleep in the the cabins on either ship, Kali and Stone remained seated by the fire; their hands were linked and she was leaning against his shoulder. He'd removed most of his armor, but still wore his black body-glove and she cold feel his arm shift beneath her cheek as he spoke. "It feels like a lifetime ago that we were here, doesn't it?"
Nodding, she looked up at him. "I remember...I even got you to sing along with me when all the others were reluctant." It was a fond memory. He was the only one who was willing, at first. I had no idea what it would lead to.
He chuckled and smoothed a bit of hair away from her face. "Kali, you could have asked me to juggle everyone's buckets and I would have done it in a heartbeat."
"Really? That sounds like a sight I'd like to see."
"Perhaps another time." His voice was quiet and he was still looking at her in a way that made her forget everything else, even as he gave her a feather-light kiss against her forehead. About a meter from them, the fire offered a warm glow, its brightness reaching for the sky above that was peppered with stars. The twin moons were just starting to appear at the horizon: one was a crescent sliver, the other was heavy and full.
Kalinda couldn't remember what the moons had looked like the last time she was here. It's been so long, even though I know that two years isn't really a long time. But so much has changed since then. So many things are going to change. Hopefully it will be for the better, in the end. But it seems like such a long way from right now.
Beside her, Stone reached forward and lifted the poker that Trax had whittled, his expression contemplative while he stoked the core of the fire; as the flames grew, pinpricks of embers were lifted by the currents of heated air, creating tiny gleams of light against the darkened backdrop of the sky.
As she watched his movements she reached out to him through the Force. Stone's energy was bright and warm in a way that was wholly unlike the fire, but she felt it bathing her in a gentle, loving light just the same. The way I feel for him is one thing that hasn't changed for the worst, hasn't been torn to pieces. If anything it's only grown stronger.
The flames were high and fierce now. Satisfied, he sat back and set the poker down; she leaned into him a little more, taking comfort in the familiar press of his body against hers and thinking that there was no place in the galaxy she'd rather be then right here.
So after a few more minutes she looked at him. "Stonewall, will you marry me?"
At her words his entire body stilled, to the point where she thought that he'd even stopped breathing for a long moment. Finally, he turned and blinked at her once. "What?"
She tried not to smile at his aghast look. "Will you-"
"Yes." Even as he said the word he shook his head, as if to clear it. As if he couldn't believe what was happening.
Now she couldn't help the bubble of laughter that sprang from someplace within her heart. "You don't have to answer right away. You can think it ov-"
"Yes, Kali. Yes." Stonewall was staring at her as though seeing her for the first time, but he was able to recover his composure after a few deep breaths; when he kissed her, she could only think of that moment and the fact that she wanted nothing else at all. After some length of time – she wasn't sure – he took another breath and studied her. "Are you sure that you want to associate this moment-" he caught her hands and squeezed them. "-with everything else that's happened?"
Unable to contain her smile, Kali shook her head. "Stonewall, I have no idea what's going to happen tomorrow, or the next day, or any day after that. So much in my life is uncertain right now, except you; and I think that the only thing I do know is that I want to be by your side, for as long as I can." She met his eyes again, noted their remarkable color with absolute joy. Something whispered in her ear: yes, this is the way it should be. "What do you think?"
For an infinite moment he looked at her and she could see that he was trying to remember something. Finally he spoke – in Mando'a – and it took her a minute to recognize the significance of what he was saying.
Wedding vows, she realized as she asked him to say the phrase again; minutes later, once she repeated the words back to him the the simple ceremony was complete. For a minute or so they sat in awed silence before exchanging a wide grin, after which they reached for one another again.
In that moment they were as much a part of each other as they were of the fire before them and the stars above. It was done and there was no going back.
But even so, it was only the beginning.
To be continued...
To everyone who has reviewed: Admiral Daala, sachariah, Queen, MandoJedi, Just A Crazy-Man, SerendipityAEY, LongLiveTheClones, Moondoe, Cnwriter, Lord Hollow, outlawhunter, Jadedsnowtiger, and anyone else I may have missed...YOU ARE ALL AWESOME! Seriously, I can't thank you guys enough for taking the time to share your thoughts on this story...it means the world to me!
FYI: The planet of Aruna is from my fic, Untouchable.Alchemy will feature a character from that story, so I recommend checking it out if you haven't already. However, if you don't feel like wading through 70k + words, the "interlude" at the end should fill you in enough. :P
Well, it 'aint over 'til the Hutt-lady (or lady Hutt?) sings, so be aware that I'm still plugging away at Alchemy. Look for a tie-in and sneak peek next week, probably Tuesday and Thursday.
Also, allow me (again!) to shamelessly plug a new (mini) fic I've been working on, featuring reulte's version of the clone, Chopper. It should be out after next week, so y'all don't forget about me! ;)
Again, thank you for reading! It's been quite an adventure...