Just as Jade predicted, it took a while for me to become strong enough to even watch the world of the living through the Gates. The summer of my death passed into autumn, and I was still unable to stay at the Gates for long enough to pick up on anything more important than the change of season. Unfortunately, I had been discovering this the hard way the evening that Martin's mother Sayna dropped by to meet me. I had spent the day at the Gates trying to build up my strength, dizzy and retching after the first five minutes, clinging to their rough wooden framework to stay upright. When she found me I was struggling to crawl to my cot in the corner of the little hut Felldoh had shown me. Without further ado she scooped me up in her work-toughened paws and deposited me on my cot, apologizing for not coming to see me sooner.
"Martin was in such danger of joining us after he fought Badrang," she explained, straightening my blanket around me. "I just didn't feel right leaving him alone." Her smile was warm, and her voice was so much like my mother's that it made a lump rise to my throat yet again. "But I did so wanted to meet my son's…" She paused, furrowing her brow, and conjured me a cup of water.
I sipped it, feeling strength return with every mouthful, and considered her predicament. What was I to him? Sweetheart? No. How could I be his sweetheart if he'd never done more with his feelings than gape at me when he thought I wasn't looking? Lover? Absolutely not. Intended bride? It was probably true, but just thinking about it made me want to cover my head with the pillow and not emerge for fifty seasons. But what about…
"His lady love," I said.
Sayna beamed.