God, I'm trying to write, I swear! I'm not avoiding this on purpose! :O But you guys know me. I never post because I suck. I apologize for my suckage. But I love you all! I really do! :)

You know, I had a LOT written for this story. No kidding when I say a LOT. Then, I stared at it for a really long time. And then, I deleted it. All of it. Backspaced it into oblivion. I tweaked so much, and you guys don't even know, 'cause all you know is the first episode. :) But even though you're oblivious to what I had planned, I promise it's better now! ;)

Oh man, do I love this story. I think you guys will like it more and more the farther I get into it.

Chapter 2

Dear Jonah,

It always amazed me how much you could hide with the simplest of smiles. They all wonder what your secret is. Obviously you've unlocked the key to happiness, right? All because of the smile you bare on your face. No one ever thought to read between the lines when you made it so blatantly obvious that you were okay. Why look for an error when it is subliminally assumed there isn't one?

But you want so badly to tell the world that you're not alright. There are so many times that you wish you could just shout to the world all your insecurities, but you don't ever dare.

Joe

When he stood his ground to intimidate, I blanked out, my mind stuttering. When his voice boomed with demented laughter, I cowered inwardly, failing to avoid the beast. When he raised his fist, I asked God the simplest questions. When he yelled, 'You're nothing, you fucking butt pirate. You're a retard, you cock-sucking, whiney little ass-jacker!', only then did I flinch. The worst pain was the beat down. Why was he doing this? So that he could hurt someone as badly as he had been hurt? He didn't want someone to push around across the floor like a mop. He was no better than his own father. He was the agony to someone else's day, like his father was to him. He was the part of someone's life that they wished more than anything that they could cut out. He was his own greatest fear. He was I, and I slowly worked towards killing myself from the inside out, drenched down to the bone in my own sorrow, as I took everything—my pain, anger, my guilt—out on those that I saw as weaker than I.

"P-please, d-don't hurt me!" The remark was stupid; immature, yet it was enough to spark my hesitation. "What makes you think today will be any different?" My voice was dark, but my meaning was cleverly sincere. His bottom lip quivered, and his body was stuck in a fit of convulsions, but he managed to swallow his fears, and reply. "Today is… well, my boyfriend is supposed to get out of the hospital today… I was going to surprise him…" I rolled my eyes, and thrust my chest towards him, an act of dominance. I made the mistake of stealing a glance at his beady eyes as I held his shirt in my fist. "Fucking hell," I muttered, pushing him to the side. I said nothing more to him, only stormed away to the parking lot. School didn't start for another good 20 minutes, at least, and for Christ's sake, I needed to light one up.

"Need a lighter?" I turned to face her, and refrained from smiling. It was too little too late as she looked up at me with those damn beautiful blue eyes. She flicked the lighter until a small little flame emerged, and held it out for me as I lit up my smoke. "Thanks, babe." I exhaled a cloud of smoke, and sighed. "Mmm. Want one?" I held out the pack to her, still unable to keep my tight smirk hidden. She gently rejected my hand, lightly pressing her fingers to my skin. "I saw you with that one kid again," she frowned. "What's it matter?" I sighed, the smile finally disappearing. I hated it when she did that to me. She was the one person—the one exception—that could make me smile. "What's it matter?" she repeated, repulsed. I only glared at her through the corner of my eye. "He's just a kid, Joe. Leave him alone." "Yeah, well, that kid's a fag." She sat on the hood of my car, crossing her ankles, and staring down at them for a while. She finally looked back at me, squinting with the sun behind my eyes. "So that gives you the right to treat him like that?" I tried not to give her the satisfaction that I was actually contemplating what she said, but I failed, pausing anyway. "Never mind, Jamie. You just don't get it," I said, twisting my cigarette into the concrete until it burnt out. "You're right," she said, helping herself off my car. "I really don't."

Alright, please tell me what you think. I really worked hard.

And I promise this is in fact a Joick story. It'll get there. Just be patient.

Love you guys bunches!

With Love, Carlie :D