Chapter 5:

I Hate Myself For Loving You

Wade woke the next morning and found John staring at him.

"Good morning Beautiful." John whispered and brushed his cheek

"Hi." Wade whispered. John kissed Wade on his forehead.

"I love you." John said.

"I love you too." Wade breathed. John smiled as he hugged Wade.

"I need to take a shower." John said and got up.

"No we need to take a shower." Wade said and walked to the bathroom. John had a smile on his face. Wade was adjusting the water when I walked in.

"Get your arse over here." Wade said and smiled.

"Arse?" John asked.

"Yes its English for ass now go." Wade said and motioned to the shower.

"Okay bossy." John said and got in the shower. Wade followed and kissed John as he stood in the shower.

"Damn Wade." John breathed. Wade laughed as he pulled away.

"Johnathan I hope you like it because you will be getting it often." Wade said and smirked.

"Well Stuart what made you change your mind?" John asked.

"John Ive been in love with you for a while now, but I didn't want to admit it. Im sorry Ive been holding back on you. I just wanted to know that you were the one and once you did all those nice things to me and when you said I was special and when you listened to me. I realized that you are the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And lucky for me you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me." Wade explained and John had tears forming in his eyes. John's voice was caught in his throat.

"I know its really stupid." Wade said and started to lather John in soap. John did the same thing to Wade. When they were done they both stepped out and hugged.

"Would you mind giving me a couple minutes in here?" Wade asked and dried himself off.

"Okay just let me get you something to wear." John said and walked out of the room. He got Wade his favorite shirt and a pair of jeans and boxers. He walked into the room and handed in to Wade. He kissed John on the lips real quick before closing the door in his face.

*15 minutes later*

Wade POV

I walked out of the bathroom and I found John on the phone but he didn't see me.

"Yeah man I got nothing else better to do… Yeah course… No…. No….. But ill see you later… Bye." John said and hung up. He turned around and saw me standing there.

"Oh hi." John said.

"Who was that? And what did he want?" I asked.

"It was Justin." John said and blushed.

"So youre cheating on me on our first day together." I said.

"What?" John asked.

"What else would Justin want?" I asked.

"He wanted to know if Id seen you." John said. I frowned and walked to the door.

"Wait Wade." John said and grabbed my arm.

"What John?" I asked. John kissed me and his tongue begged for entrance that I allowed. John massaged his tongue with mine for a couple of minutes. He pulled away for air and I walked out of the room. John was right behind me. We stepped into the elevator together and we smiled together.

What are we going to do next talk at the same time?, I thought. But I wouldn't be surprised if we did. John grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together.

"I want to make it clear your mine and no one can have you." John said and I nodded. The door opened with a ding and we walked out. Stepping together simultaneously, with the same foot. I laughed.

"What?" John asked.

"Were doing every thing the same." I said and John noticed out feet and laughed. I saw the rest of Nexus in the lobby and I got alittle nervous. They knew I was gay that wasn't the reason, I was nervous because it was John. He noticed my nervousness.

"It'll be alright, Justin will love it." John said and smiled.

"I believe you." I said and smiled. We approached them and Justin spotted us first, he smiled warmly but when he noticed our hands, he looked like he was going to burst.

"How come whenever I get here your always in the same spots?" I asked and Justin stifled a laugh.

"I don't know about these morons but I like sitting here." David said and when he looked at me holding hands with John.

"First of all, Justin is not a moron because he is smarter than you." I pointed out and John laughed. It looked like Heath was to wrapped up in Justin's neck to realize that Justin was going to burst and start yelling and squeaking.

"Stu I was going to hang with Mike and Chris for a couple of hours if you don't mind." John said turning towards me and smiled.

"Of course." I said and smiled back.

"You sure?" John asked.

"Yes go before I change my mind." I said and John's smile got bigger.

"Okay, love you." John said.

"I love you too." I said and John was obviously amused. He gave me a quick hug. He pulled back and gave me a quick kiss,.

"Bye." John said and walked off. I smiled and sighed.

"Well don't just sit there we have stuff to do." I ordered. Justin was bouncing when he got up. Heath rolled his eyes and David was still in shock. I walked out the door of the hotel. Justin was by my side in a second still bouncing.

"Calm down." I said and he stopped bouncing.

"Im just like really happy and stuff." Justin said and smiled.

"You get excited easily." I said and Justin smiled brighter.

"Im just glad you moved on." Justin said and I smiled alittle.

"Well John treats me special and e really does love me, and I love him." I said and Justin started doing small bounces again. I rolled my eyes.

6 hours later

I sat on the bed wondering why John was so late.

I was probably right about him cheating, I thought. He was 4 hours late and he wasn't answering his phone. I started crying alittle bit ago and now I was sobbing. I put my knees to my chest and cried on my knees. I knew I wasn't gonna keep him for long but this was to soon.

"Babe what's wrong?" a familiar voice and I felt strong hands on my legs. I looked up and saw the beautiful face of John.

"I thought you weren't coming home." I said and cried more.

"Why wouldn't I?" John asked.

"Because I thought you were cheating on me with some attractive guy because I am so ugly, I don't see how you like me." I said and cried harder. John kissed my tears away.

"Babe I will never cheat on you because you are the mist beautiful man to every walk the face of any planet." John said hugged me. John laid down under the covers and I joined him. We cuddled and I drifter off into a peaceful sleep.

2 days later

I was on my way to my room when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"So you and Cena?" David asked as I turned around.

"Does it bother you?" I asked.

"Well not really." David said and shrugged.

"Then why did you ask?" I asked.

"Oh well I was wondering if you would confirm it or say a smartass remark or something I mean youre a genius." David said.

"I know." I said and smirked.

"I mean fucking Cena to get to the top." David said and shook his head.

"I am not." I said and frowned

"Sure." David said with a smirk. He walked away before I had to chance to punch it right off his face. I shook my head and walked to the room. I had talked with Michelle and Layla about weddings and they are going to help me. Thank god I had them. I opened the door.

"Hey John I-" I began but I didn't see John any where. I walked into the bedroom expecting a surprise. But I gasped when I saw the scene in front of me. John was on top of Justin making out with him.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?" I asked and they looked at me.

"Oh Wade im so sorry." Justin apologized. He walked out of the room and out the door.

"Wade I-" John began.

"I don't want to hear a word from you.

"Wade-" John tried again.

"You said you would never cheat on me, and I come home to find you making out with the one person that I knew you would cheat on me with." I said.

"Babe-" John began again.

"Don't you ever call me that again." I growled.

"Can I talk?" John asked.

"Make it quick." I growled.

"I wasn't cheating on you, its something he needs and I was being nice to a friend." John said.

"That doesn't even make sense and that was the worst excuse I have ever heard." I said.

"Stuart Im sorry that it looks like this but its not like that at all." John said. I took off the ring and threw it at him, he caught it.

"Get your shit and leave now!" I yelled at him. John had tears sliding down his cheeks.

"Baby Im so sorry, don't do this please." John pleaded and stayed were he was standing. I got his stuff out of the bathroom threw it in his bag and threw his bag outside. I pushed him out side and shut the door in his face. I went back to the bed room and curled into a ball on the bed. I cried into the pillow.

As I drifted into unconsciousness I knew I was still in love with John, and I hate my self for loving him.

(TO BE CONTINUED INTO NEXT CHAPTER)