A Light In The Dark
A Severus Love Story
Part Four
A Dark Secret
*** Snape ***
I stared at Aurora with unblinking eyes. As usual her silvery blonde curls were bobbing happily around her shoulders and a pink smile was painted on her lips yet something seemed off about her. Maybe it was the trembling her hands as she tried to eat or perhaps it was the blank unseeing stare that replaced her usual bright green eyes. What ever it may be something was definitely wrong with her.
I tried to catch her quickly after the morning bell rang but before I could even stand up I saw her pink robes disappear out of the great hall. I stared after the last spot I had saw her with a strange aching feeling in my chest. For some reason I actually cared what might be wrong with her. Huh how strange ...
*** Aurora ***
I couldn't take it any more. All this stress was getting to me! I have been trying so hard to try and manage this job as best as I could but with all my different classes and trying to hide my secret … it was becoming so hard. I sat at breakfast forcing myself to eat and smile. I tried to talk to my fellow teachers but I found my mouth try and my throat itchy. I also became paranoid. Were they staring at my wrist? Were they wondering why I never talked about my past?
I took a deep a breath to steady myself. Nobody was staring and nobody was wondering. I had to straighten out my thought so before the bell even rang I took off planning on spending my free period alone in my office. As I exited the hall I took one last look at the staff table and was met with the gaze of Severus Snape. Feeling as if his eyes were gazing down deeper then just my eyes I turned away and ran to my office.
I sat at my desk my head resting on my hands ignoring the ever growing pain in my wrist. It gave a particularly painful throb, the way it only did when another one of … my old crowd was near and I let out a hiss. How was I going to ignore this during my classes? It was hard enough hiding it with out being to obvious. I pulled out my wrist from underneath my robes and made sure that my bracelets were in perfect condition before I walked out of my office and got ready to prepare the classes today.
The day had gone by smoothly enough, after of course I had asked Severus for some calming drought. Normally he would have asked me why but I caught him in the middle of a class so he had no option but to keep silent. I wasn't so lucky now though as I pushed the last of the Pixies into the cage and I heard someone clear there throat. I put on a fake smile as I turned around and faced none other then Severus. My smile faltered a little though as I saw his all knowing gaze fall on me.
"Oh good afternoon Severus. What may I owe this rare visit?" I said with what was probably an overly cheery voice. I beamed at him as I walked towards him but his harsh stare didn't change. Obviously he wasn't fooled by my act and he had came here to get some answers. I sighed as I took a seat and Severus took the seat next to me without an invitation.
"You interrupt my newt level class and you expect to just get away without a single question? If had been anyone but you I would have sent them away Aurora. Now why don't you tell me whats wrong?" he said. I looked away with clenched fist. I didn't want to talk about it … it was just to hard. Then something odd happened. Severus placed his hand on mine and gripped it tight. Then he said quietly "Aurora … I just want to help."
Then suddenly a rush of sadness swept over me. I didn't want to hide this secret any longer it was tearing me apart from the inside out. Maybe it would be better to tell someone and as I looked up into the dark, some what caring, eyes of Severus I knew that I could trust him. "Severus promise me no matter what you wont hate me?" I asked touching his face gently, he nodded and I said in a whisper "I've killed people Severus. I've killed for him."
His eyes widened and I couldn't look at him any more. I tried to get up and run away but he grabbed my arm and turned me to face him "You have killed for who Aurora, who!" he said in a panicked voice. I looked at him with tear filled eyes without saying a word. Then slowly he pulled the sleeve of my robe up and tossed aside my bracelets revealing the Dark Mark on my wrist. I pulled my hand away from him and held it to my chest with little sobs.
"I didn't want to Severus! But my whole family was a death eater and … I just couldn't say no. I was raised in a family where power was everything and how was I suppose to say no to the ultimate power? I never wanted to kill people I just didn't want to disappoint my family. I cant handle it any more Severus the dark lord is gone yet the memories still haunt me. Looking at all these young faces it reminds me of the families I destroyed and its making it so much worse. What am I suppose to do? Im not a death eater any more Severus yet all I can think is what is going to happen when people find out. Oh and what about the head master what would he do!" I cried and threw myself at him.
He pulled me close to him and stroked my hair gently and I could have sworn I heard him mutter the words "Oh Lilly.." before holding me at arms length and pulling up his own sleeve. I stared at his wrist with wide eyes. "Severus … your wrist ..." I said and touched his mark gently. "I never knew you were one too. Does the head master know?" I asked feeling his skin pulsate underneath my touch.
"Yes he hired me after he knew. He doesn't care what is in your past as long as you prove yourself trust worthy. You have proven yourself over and over again I assure you. I don't see why anyone would ever think you were even capable of hurting a fly." he said holding my head in both his hands. "Please Aurora don't be so afraid. I will help you with any problems that may arise just … please don't leave Aurora."
My eyes were still watering but the flow had come to a stop as I said "But what will happen if the students ever find out? There parents will not want me to teach them and how will they ever trust me again? It kills me enough living with what I have done but if I didn't have this job … I would go even crazier." I let out a small laugh as I wiped away the tears.
I felt his thumb stork me cheek gently as he said "Aurora your no crazy. You feel regret for what you did and that's what makes you such a great person. No one will ever find out and if they do so what? If anyone has an issue with you they are the crazy ones. You may have been a death eater but your so much more then that. Your just like ..."
I looked at him curiously but he turned away from me but he couldn't hide the sadness that had clouded his eyes. I wanted more then anything to ask him who I was like but he had done so much for me I couldn't bare to hurt him. Instead I hugged him from behind my arms wrapped around his waist. I whispered in his ear "Thank you Severus for everything. I don't think I can ever find a way to thank you enough."
He placed his hands on mine before turning around and kissed my forehead quickly before walking away leaving me alone to sort out my thoughts.