The emcee droned on and on, giving out one award after another.

"Oh geez, is this ever going to end?" Martin groaned. "Can't we just leave now?"

"Hey! Nobody is leavin' this table until they call my name!" Bulldog said. "Gonzo Sports show RULES!"

"Well folks, we only have a few more awards to present." The emcee was saying."Our next award is for Best Sports Show." He grinned as a beautiful brunette handed him a

white envelope.

Upon seeing the woman, Bulldog leaned toward Niles and whispered "After the ceremony, that chick is mine! Whoa! She's hot!"

Niles glanced at Daphne and sighed, wishing he could say the same.

"And the award for best sports show goes to-."

There was a long dramatic pause as the emcee opened the envelope and glanced at the results.

"Oh my... Well! This certainly is exciting!"

"Yeah, yeah! Get on with it!" Bulldog yelled. "I don't have all night!"

"And the award for best sports show goes to... Bob-."

"YES!" Bulldog yelled, rising to his fit in victory. "Dawgs rule, baby!"

When he noticed there was no applause, he looked around the room, cringing when he saw glares of annoyance.

"As I was saying..." The emcee said. "The award for best sports show goes to... Bob Morris and Mad Marvin's Sports Spectacular of KKDS Radio in Marysville!"

There was a collective gasp at the table, followed by applause from the rest of the room as the winners went to get their award.

"WHAT?" Bulldog yelled. "This stinks! Total BS!" Angrily he slammed his fist against the table.

"Do you mind?" Morris said from the podium. "We're trying to give a speech here!"

"Yeah?" Bulldog yelled. "Well... Your show stinks! Especially if you think the Dawgs don't have a chance in Hell to go to a bowl game. They can beat the crap out of

any-."

When he put his head on the table and began to cry, Daphne reached over and took his hand.

"I'm so sorry, Bulldog. You deserved to win"

"She's right." Martin said. "Gee, I'm sorry Bulldog. Your show is great."

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" Daphne asked.

Bulldog raised his head and stared at her. "Are you serious?"

"Of course I am!" Daphne replied.

"Anything?" He asked, grinning mischievously.

Annoyance crept into Daphne's response. "I said anything didn't I?"

Bulldog moved his chair closer and put his arm around her "Care to elaborate on that?"

Niles' eyes widened and he felt his father's hand on his arm.

"Let it go, Niles. Daphne's a big girl, and she can take care of her self."

"I'll certainly take care of Bulldog if he hurts the woman I love!" Niles grumbled.

"Bulldog! You're disgusting!" Daphne yelled, pulling away from him.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen... that concludes the Seabee Awards for this evening."

"Thank God." Martin said rising from his chair. "After that nonsense, I need a Ballantine!"

"Ladies and gentlemen if I could just have your attention for a bit longer." The emcee said.

"Oh geez! What now?" Martin asked sinking into his chair.

"I don't know, Dad." Frasier replied. It must be something new this year."

"Well, they'd better hurry up! I missed Antiques Roadshow for this!" Martin complained.

"As most of you know, last Saturday evening, a special presentation aired on KACL. Nightmare inn, written and produced by noted Seattle psychiatrist, Dr. Frasier Crane. How

many of you actually listened to this?"

Niles and Frasier looked at each other in horror, as all eyes landed on their table, amid sporadic applause.

"Dear God!" They cried in unison.

"We'll be the laughing stock of Seattle"! Gil said. "I'll never be able to set foot in a four star restaurant again!"

"It was a most unique production; spontaneous, and at times ridiculous with a bizarre cast who, instead of being your normal everyday people, turned out to be dyslexic, mute

and even vicious murderers, killing nearly everyone in sight."

The description brought uproarious laughter around the room as the emcee began to describe the production in detail.

Frasier hid his face behind a menu and pretended to study it thoroughly, never daring to look at his peers.

Niles meanwhile, hung his head in shame. Being humiliated in his brother's home was bad enough but out in public was much worse.

However, he never expected this embarrassment.